


Disenchanted

by Emma_Swan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brief magic genderswap, F/F, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Magic Cock, Marriage, Past Abortion, Pregnant, Secrets, Separation, magic baby, reconnecting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-08 10:52:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 146,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3206555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emma_Swan/pseuds/Emma_Swan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the midst of trying to salvage their marriage, Emma and Regina begin to realize that the secrets they've been keeping are the least of their worries. With a powerful being from Rumple and Regina's past ready to collect on an old debt, it's up to the savior and the queen to not only fight for each other, but the entire town.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Regina held a silver picture frame in her hand. Henry had taken the snapshot it contained with the camera Emma bought for their camping trip. That had been a year ago, when they were still pretending that nothing was wrong with their marriage.

In the picture, Emma was sitting beside the lake in a foldout chair, while Regina soaked her feet in the water and smiled back at her. Henry raised the camera over his head to make sure he captured them all.

For six months, the rolls of film had sat untended on Regina's desk. Henry only insisted on developing the photos after Emma moved out. He kept the album in his bedroom, but chose to hang the one photo that pained her the most in a place where she would be forced to see it daily. She returned the photo to its prominent spot on the mantel, then sat on the couch and pressed her fingers into her temples.

For Emma, it felt strange to be standing in the kitchen of a place she once called home. The lingering familiarity was offset by the occasional discovery of something different. New dishcloths in the drawer that used to hold the cutlery. New cutlery where their mugs used to sit together on the counter, waiting to be filled with their morning coffee.

Emma shook herself out of the reverie of what used to be and focused on the task at hand. It was Henry's birthday. Regina might have bought the decorations that she'd put up, but for once Emma baked the cake all by herself. She smoothed the chocolate frosting with the knife one more time and then stuck the candles into it carefully.

Content that she'd succeeded in her task, Emma left it where it was for later, when they'd surprise Henry when he got home from school. People were already showing up – Snow was happily making sandwiches while David watched and ate the scraps.

Emma took the liberty to lick the knife clean and tossed it in the sink before she double-checked the banner she'd hung over the entryway. That was when she caught sight of Regina, and it took all her willpower not to ask why she wasn't helping. "Something wrong?" she asked, jutting her chin petulantly.

Put on the defensive by the look of self-righteous judgment that she found on Emma's face, Regina offered up a bitter smile in return. "You have chocolate on your chin and your cake is lopsided. This is Henry's sixteenth birthday. I'd like it to be memorable. And not because you ruined it for him."

The rapid fire aggressiveness should have been something Emma was prepared for, but given it was their son's birthday she'd forgotten that being around Regina meant constantly shielding herself from well placed barbs. Two could play at that game. "Lopsided, huh? I guess it has that in common with your ass." Emma's smile was blasé as she wiped her thumb against her chin and licked it clean. Not for one second did she think that Regina wasn't perfectly proportioned, but Regina had pissed her off and now she was worried what other people would think of her cake.

For an instant, Regina's guard slipped and the ice in her eyes melted, leaving behind big wet pools that were full of sadness. In the time it took to stand and fold her arms over her chest, her nostrils flared and all evidence of her wounded feelings were gone, replaced only by rage. "That would be a convincing insult, but there's one problem with it. You practically drool every time I bend over or exit a room."

Emma snorted and looked around; it gave her time to pretend Regina's words didn't sting, and like she hadn't blushed guiltily. Especially when she remembered what it had felt like eight months ago, when every attempt at seduction had been knocked down; after a few months of that Emma had started to feel dirty for even wanting to be intimate with her wife. Then Regina had started to talk about divorce. Now here they were, in the process of it. "Oh you were expecting an insult? I thought we were just swapping facts."

Snow spotted the confrontation from where she stood in the doorway to the kitchen. She raced over at a comical speed and wedged herself between her daughter and Regina. "Henry will be home any minute," she reminded them. "Please, try to get along. For Henry's sake."

Emma offered a tense smile to her mother then bowed her head to resist any callow remarks such as 'she started it' even though, technically, that was true. Regardless, Snow was right. This wasn't about them, it was about Henry; she just had to keep that in mind when Regina was actively trying to get under her skin. It never took much, considering Emma still loved her.

Regina put some distance between herself and Emma, but as soon as Snow returned to making sandwiches, she gestured to a box by the door. "The last of your things," she explained. "You keep forgetting to take them. Here's a fact for you: if you leave them here one more time, the whole box will go out in the morning with the trash."

"Seriously? You're giving me it now?" Emma sucked in a deep breath and shook her head as she cast her gaze towards the ceiling. Of course Regina couldn't wait until tomorrow to get rid of the last remaining parts of her - that, admittedly, she'd stalled in removing herself because… Because once there was no trace of her within the walls of the mansion, it would be like she'd never lived there. It felt like she was being erased. "Fine. I have space in the bug anyway." She grumbled, and grabbed up the box before Regina said anything else.

With the worst timing imaginable, Henry burst through the door with a broad grin on his face. He sensed the tension between his moms right away and stepped by them to get to the stairs. "If you're fighting again, I'll just be in my room."

"Henry, wait," Regina pleaded, and quickly put her hand out, eager to show her son that she was capable of behaving. She placed her fingers gently on top of Emma's wrist, though even touching her soon-to-be ex was enough to make her feel lightheaded. "Your mother baked you a cake, your grandparents are here, and I have a special surprise for you. We want to have a nice afternoon. All of us. Together. Please?"

Henry shrugged off his backpack, and reluctantly headed in the direction of the kitchen. "Fine. I was hoping there would be cake."

Regina's barely there touch still managed to make Emma's heart skip a beat and for a second she truly hated how much she still craved the contact. Enough to not move from the ghosting fingertips against her wrist. "What kind of birthday doesn't have cake?" She damn well knew for sure that Henry had always had cake. Unlike herself growing up, but she'd never say that in front of her son. "Don't you dare think about taking a piece before I've lit the candles!"

Emma raised her voice as Henry walked off towards his grandparents, and rolled her eyes when he turned to smirk at her. That? That was all Regina.

Regina waited until Henry was out of earshot, and then she pulled Emma aside. "It's okay with me if you want to leave the box here until you've found a place for it. Come and get it whenever it's convenient." It wasn't an apology, but it was her best effort at being civil, for Henry's sake.

Emma frowned as her arm was tugged; she loathed how much she liked the feel of Regina's hand wrapped around her bicep. She knew she'd just have to deal with the fact that their marriage was almost officially over. In the back of her mind she'd convinced herself it wasn't too late to fix things. Only she had no idea what was broken, other than herself. "No, you're not." It wasn't said in anger, or in accusation, as Emma blinked back at Regina. It was hauntingly somber. "If you were, you wouldn't have packed it and set it by the door."

She was tired of trying to force her way into Regina's life when the woman was trying so hard to eject her from it. Emma didn't let herself dwell on it as she shrugged out of Regina's grip and made her way outside to stash her stuff in the back seat of her car.

Unable to tear herself away from the sight of Emma packing up her final possessions, Regina stood rooted in her spot by the front door and clutched at her side in dismay. She had to swing the door shut, and if she did it a bit more forcefully than she intended, that wasn't her fault.

Outside, Archie strolled up the walkway, leading the rest of the party guests. Granny and Ruby slowed down when they saw that the back hatch of Emma's bug was open. It looked like Emma had been living out of her car these past few months.

Rumple and Belle came after the Lucas family, and they also stopped to watch Emma struggle with the last box of her belongings.

Then Ruby rushed over to help, scooping up a bundle of shirts that had tumbled out onto the driveway. "Hey Em," she said sheepishly. "Where's the birthday boy?"

"Thanks, Ruby." Emma sighed in gratitude, even though she felt the burn of humiliation creep up her neck as the guests witnessed her struggle to push her things into the bug. She took the shirts and tossed them haphazardly into the back seat before shutting the door and pointing towards the house. "He's in the kitchen, probably trying to steal frosting before anyone catches him. I'm glad you could make it." Emma offered a small smile and walked Ruby into the house.

Snow and David greeted everyone warmly, but Regina seemed to be preoccupied.

Regina was frowning critically at the cake Emma baked for Henry, and resisting the urge to openly embarrass her ex in the presence of their family and guests. She sensed that Rumple was staring at her in disapproval and moodily glanced in his direction.

"So, am I getting a car?" Henry asked with a lopsided grin. "Think of it this way: if I have my own car, you and mom won't have to see each other when I'm going back and forth between her apartment and the house."

There was no doubt in the Emma's mind that if getting Henry a car for his sixteenth birthday meant that Regina didn't have to look at her again, Regina would buy him one.

Snow winced a little and exchanged a worried look with Charming, who stepped in to clap a hand over Henry's shoulder. "Aren't you going to say hello to all of your guests?"

Grateful for the change in conversation, Emma joked, "Yeah kid, at least pretend you're glad to see everyone, or they might take the presents back." It was a hollow threat that Ruby and Belle chuckled at, and for a brief second she could almost pretend things were as they used to be.

Regina glowered at Emma, and then moved off to set out the food, without stopping to acknowledge anyone. She stayed in the kitchen, putting the final touches on her pasta salad while all of the guests made themselves comfortable at the table in the dining room.

Archie noticed that whoever did the seating arrangements had made a point of placing Emma as far from Regina as possible, but as soon as the former queen entered the room again, he knew distance would be no obstacle to their fighting.

"Well if I can't have a car can I at least have a motor bike?" Henry pleaded as he sat between Ruby and Archie.

"Not a chance. At this rate you'll be lucky if you get a skateboard." Emma grinned teasingly and grabbed the seat she'd been given, between Belle and David.

Henry slumped for half a second before he glanced around the table and then pointedly between his mothers. "You know, with a little magic, I bet you could make me a hover board. That would be so much cooler than a car!"

Emma rolled her eyes but a lazy grin tugged at her lips. It would be cruel to point out that he couldn't pick his friends up or take a future date out on a ride on one of those things. "Nice try kid, but we don't play around with magic. You know that."

A sudden snort from Ruby earned several bewildered glances, Emma's among them. "Was it yesterday or the day before that you were adding sprinkles to everyone's drinks at the diner?"

All attention shifted back to Emma, and she blatantly ignored Snow's raised eyebrow as she muttered quietly, "I wasn't playing. I was practicing. There's a difference."

"Right, there's a huge difference between putting sprinkles on your hot cocoa and adding them to Leroy's whiskey." Ruby's smile was mischievous, until a well-placed elbow from Granny wiped it from her face.

"That happened one time." Emma hissed quietly, and ignored the way the woman mouthed 'twice' to Belle who tried to hide her laughter.

At her place on the far side of the room, Regina thought back to all of the early birthdays, when she and Henry were alone. Her son had trouble making friends, so she was never able to throw the types of parties that most parents gave their children. But she always spoiled him with gifts and sweets, up until the day that he turned ten years old. He spent that birthday in his room, after slamming the door shut and shouting in her face that he hated her.

For all of his smart mouthed remarks and insensitivity, Regina noticed a sadness in her son's eyes whenever he glanced between his two mothers. She knew he was upset about the divorce, and it bothered her more that he chose to quietly shoulder that burden instead of screaming out loud about it.

She sat in an armchair and absently ran her hand over her stomach, while she stared emptily at the gathering.

In a small box wrapped in silver paper was a set of keys to a truck that Regina left in Rumple's driveway. She waved her hand and the gift vanished, reappearing in a place that Henry would never look - in a shoebox, at the back of her closet. She chose not to think about the fears or sentiments behind the last minute decision.

She had been thinking of a million ways to insult Emma - she could ask if a skateboard was all that the sheriff could afford, or she might point out the crumbs on her shirt, or draw attention to the rip in the woman's jeans. There were so many chinks in Emma's armor these days.

Instead, she picked up the bowl with her pasta salad and scooped some onto a paper plate. "You always said this was your favorite," she softly explained and extended her hand.

The moment Regina passed the paper plate to Emma all humor drained from the guests and Emma shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah," Emma said quietly, because she didn't know what else to say with everyone listening. She struggled to swallow the lump in her throat but managed to flash a watery smile at Regina as she took the pasta salad. "Thank you."

"While we're on the subject of sprinkles and magic," Regina quickly added, "did you use a spell to bake Henry's birthday cake? Because I wouldn't be surprised, quite frankly." For a change, Regina's remarks were playful rather than harsh, and she even wore a hint of a smile. "You nearly burnt down the house the last time you made brownies -"

"Actually, I helped her bake it," Snow interjected, seeming uneasy. "Emma made the frosting all on her own, though."

"No wonder it's so lopsided," Regina dryly replied.

"We did what we could," Snow defensively insisted. She noted the sudden difference in Regina's behavior with unease - she had seen these drastic mood swings before, usually when the woman was in the middle of an emotional crisis.

"And I'm taking cooking lessons," Emma mumbled, bristling at being criticized in front of everyone. Did Regina really have to humiliate her on the kid's birthday?

"It looks delicious," Henry assured his grandmother, and then stuck his fork into the plate of pasta salad that Regina gave to Emma.

Emma's mood plummeted much like Henry's fork in her pasta, and she pushed the plate towards him without even tasting it. "You can have it kid, I don't have much of an appetite."

"So," Archie helpfully chimed in, sensing trouble and wishing to avoid it. "What are your birthday wishes this year, Henry? Any special requests?"

Henry shrugged at Archie's question and scooped another forkful of pasta salad into his mouth. "I think I've learned enough about the cost of wishes. I won't ever make any." It had been meant as a joke but they all knew how serious he was.

"Well what do you want? There must be something," Belle added softly with a smile.

Henry shrugged again, but when he spoke it was to his plate. "I just want everybody to be happy."

Regina swallowed thickly and stared at a fixed spot in the air, then swept her pitiless eyes over to Emma. "We are happy," she stated, and a rich laugh came from somewhere deep inside of her, from the dark void in her heart that had been opened once again. "I've never been happier," she said, in the voice of the Queen. She glanced coldly from face to face, considering each of her guests while she wore a poisonous smile.

Emma met Regina's gaze head on with an incredulous look of her own. They weren't happy. She sure as hell wasn't happy. The mocking challenge in Regina's laughter caused the muscles in Emma's jaw to jump, and she resisted the urge to call Regina on her bullshit. Not right now. Not in front of the kid, and not in front of everyone anxiously studying their plates.

Miraculously, Regina snapped herself out of it, and dug her fingernails into her palm to keep from slipping back into old habits. But she made the mistake of peering back at Emma, at the hole in Emma's favorite old jeans, and before she knew it, she was saying, "you might also want to learn how to sew, now that you're making the attempt to act like a grown up and cook for yourself..."

Emma wasn't surprised when Regina directed another insult her way. The tone acerbic, the words as sharp as knives. No, there was no surprise. Only anger on Emma's part. The quiet, dangerous kind that bubbled beneath the surface while she looked on with a stolid expression.

"Regina," Snow begged. "Please don't."

"Oh, I didn't mean to insult you," Regina told Emma, although she was smirking. "My apologies, dear. Now, would you like to light Henry's birthday candles, or shall I?"

"You didn't." Emma spat back through a smile. Though her green eyes seemed darker than moments before as she held Regina's gaze. It was Emma's way of letting her know she saw through her. Though she did laugh herself when Regina tried to offer her the invitation to light the stupid god damn candles on the cake Regina clearly hated. "You know what, why don't y-"

"You get the gifts ready, and we'll bring in the cake?" David cut his daughter off before the situation got any more volatile, and proceeded to drag her into the kitchen away from everyone else in the hopes of granting her breathing space.

Emma's hands balled into fists and for a second all she could do was slowly turn in a circle as she established there was nothing she could release her frustration on. Impulsively she grabbed the nearest dishcloth and pressed it against her mouth to stifle her scream.

The sound of Emma's muffled screams caused Regina to frown. If she was being honest with herself, she would have realized that the only reason she delighted in getting Emma worked up was because every time she succeeded in ruffling the swan's feathers, she could be sure that Emma's love for her still existed.

Beneath all of the raw hatred and betrayed feelings was an attraction, a bond so strong that not even their impending divorce could sever it.

Regina exhaled breathlessly, soothed by the rush of blood that pounded through her heart, the hot white fury in her veins. Then, all at once, she wanted to cry - but she wouldn't give in to such foolish compulsions. Instead, she glided into the dining room to collect the gifts, and paused to eavesdrop on David and Emma.

"I'm sorry, Emma," David sighed. "We'll help you get through this. The party, and the divorce. You just have to hang in there."

He wrapped an arm around Emma's back and held his grown daughter for a moment. He kissed her forehead and then moved away to light the candles on the cake.

As always, David's advice for his daughter was predictable and useless. Regina rolled her eyes and sneered, unaware that she was being watched.

Archie had followed Regina into the dining room. She didn't realize he was there until he interrupted her thoughts by asking "is there anything you want to discuss? You've been coming to see me these last few months, Regina, but I still haven't figured out what's going on with you. It seems that most of the time, you act impulsively, and against your own wishes. Why do you seem so determined to make Emma your enemy? If you feel that parting with her is inevitable, wouldn't it be best to go your separate ways without this added heartache?"

"No," Regina bitterly replied.

Archie took a tentative step closer, his naturally soft voice lowered further as he tried to make sense of the mess Regina was so intent to make. "Often, we seek to hurt others before they have a chance to hurt us. It creates a wall of sorts, one to hide behind. It grants us the illusion of power when really what we feel is vulnerable, so the higher we build, the more we hide. Do you…" Archie paused. One nervous fingertip pushed up his glasses and he bowed his head. "Forgive me for asking, Regina, but do you still have feelings for her? There's no judgment here…"

Emma was oblivious to the conversation happening beyond the open door. She still struggled with physical affection from her parents because it had the added bonus of making her feel vulnerable even as it granted comfort, and so it was with a heavy heart that she stepped out of David's embrace and flung the dishcloth onto the nearest counter. "You know I used to believe that. I thought if I did what Regina wanted, moved out, gave her space, that maybe we'd talk about why she suddenly couldn't stand to be around me anymore. But the way she's acting now?"

Emma shook her head and blinked back the swirling emotions that threatened to take hold of her. She wouldn't cry on Henry's birthday, well at least not here, where Regina could pounce on it and claim that she'd ruined everything all over again. "She hates me…" Emma's tone was devastated, and her voice wobbled slightly, betraying her on some level by exposing how very close she was to breaking down.

With a sniff and a quick bounce on her heels, Emma tried to rid herself of the emotions she didn't want to face and turned her attention on the cake. With the candles flickering brightly it didn't look so bad, and yet she hesitated before attempting to pick it up. "I should have just bought the damn thing." She hissed, as if it were the cake's fault it looked somewhat like a mudslide. "What if the candles topple over and set the carpet on fire? What if it tastes as bad as it looks?"

David put an end to Emma's mild hysteria by lifting the cake up and announcing, "Where this is going it won't matter what it looks like, and hey, it's chocolate. It's going to taste just fine. Come on, we better get back before Henry thinks we ate it ourselves." Then, with a gentle nod of his head towards the door, they made their way back to the party.

Dr. Hopper still stood patiently waiting for Regina's answer.

"I'm not hiding from anything, and I don't have feelings for Emma," Regina raged, as she followed Emma with her eyes and then balled her fists as though she was considering squashing the bug. "Go back to the party and chirp in someone else's ear. I didn't pay for this session." She thought she knew exactly what she was doing; she intentionally provoked Emma, not only to make sure the woman was still emotionally invested, but also because she wanted Emma to agree to the divorce. Her peace of mind depended on it - she would continue to push Emma away whenever necessary, and pull Emma close when it suited her.

In the current moment, she preferred to keep Emma at arm's length, because in two day's time, they would have to sign the divorce papers. Once that happened, she believed a great burden would be lifted from her heart. It would change them, of course - the finality of it might keep Emma away for a while, but over time they might be friends again. Over time, Regina would learn how to regard Emma the way she once had, and there would be no risk of...

Her mind cut her off at the sudden lurching of her stomach; she felt Archie reach for her, touch her arm, but she was already hurrying away from him, and rushing back into the living room.

Regina's sorrowful eyes sought out Emma's and in her weakness, she almost dragged Emma aside and confessed to everything. But the candles were burning brightly between them, and all of the guests were singing Happy Birthday, and Henry blew hard but didn't make a wish.

Whether she liked to admit it or not, and right then she'd deny it with her dying breath, Emma always scanned whatever room she was in, in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Regina. It was beyond her control, she would always be drawn to the woman, even when her heart was breaking. Despite being surrounded by the people she loved a stab of pain shot through her at the emotion in Regina's gaze, and her first instinct was to rush to her side. Only, she couldn't. So she stood there, helpless, with everyone else and sang to Henry, while her gaze lingered on her wife in the hopes of conveying that she was still cared. That she still loved.

Regina broke eye contact with Emma and clasped her hands tightly together as Snow offered to cut up the cake. Everyone took a piece and started eating, praising Emma's newly acquired baking skill. "Way better than I expected," Ruby admitted honestly. "I think it's even better than Granny's -"

Regina would have liked to taste the cake, but she might not keep it down.

Henry ate most of the cake himself, and then began tearing open his presents: Rumple gave him a pocket watch and Belle brought him a set of books; Ruby's gift was a bottle of cologne and some cold hard cash. Snow knitted Henry a sweater that was both sentimental and hideous, but she and Charming also gave him new clothing and video games, and several heirlooms befitting a young prince.

Regina's gifts were costly and carefully selected - a new leather saddle, camping equipment, and a laptop he needed for school. The last was a scrapbook of sorts, since he cherished pictures so much. The pages included photos of the two of them when he was younger, but there was also a whole section dedicated to Emma - a photo of Emma when she was only eighteen, along with a few other small items that were with him when he had been turned over by the adoption agency. At the end of the book were pictures of the three of them as a family, from better times.

The presents were all thoughtful, and some were particularly pricey – and then there was Emma's awkwardly wrapped, small package. Emma nervously stuffed her hands into her back pockets and cringed slightly as the kid tore the gift open. Though she relaxed considerably when he gave a whoop of joy over his new iPhone. "I had the guy put a ton of apps and games on it, and it's got all our numbers programmed into the contact list. Happy birthday, kid."

Henry rewarded her with a bright grin, and began playing with the apps on his new phone until Charming suggested they test out his new video games. The two of them goaded Ruby and Rumple into playing, while Granny, Snow and Belle went to drink tea in the kitchen.

Emma caught herself smiling at the sight of Rumple being taught 'the magic of gaming' from Henry, but her smile faltered as she turned to find Regina standing next to her.

"Emma?" Regina asked softly. "May I have a word?" She gestured to their mudroom, which stored their laundry machine and dryer.

The look Emma gave Regina asked what the hell she'd done wrong now, but the words that left her mouth were, "Sure, no problem. Lead the way." Once they'd ventured away from everyone else and Emma's anxiety threatened to reach its peak, Emma sucked in a deep breath and swallowed the urge to raid the liquor cabinet. This wasn't her home anymore. "So…" She said, and stuffed her hands into her back pockets. "What's on your mind?"

Regina stole a glance down at Emma's soft, pink mouth and thought how easy it would be to kiss Emma, to back the woman against the far wall of the mudroom, where they would be out of earshot, so long as neither of them moaned or screamed. She did push Emma gently into the mudroom, but once they were inside, she pressed herself against the shut door and forged ahead along the hard path of lies she paved for herself. "It's time I explained myself," she carefully began, "You're always asking me why, and the truth is, there wasn't... a specific reason."

She recalled the day when Emma sat in a chair in her office, claiming that she could always tell when Regina was lying. Then she lost her nerve to go on, and placed a hand on Emma's shoulder. Her fingers curled through Emma's hair, and she stepped nearer, as close as she had been when they danced together at their wedding or lay beside each other in bed at night. With an exhausted sigh, she held onto Emma and rested her head on the woman's shoulder, soaking in the comfort that the contact provided. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry…. that we ended up being wrong for each other."

Emma found the mixed signals almost as maddening as the lies Regina currently attempted to spoon feed her, and she would have said as much had her breath not caught in her throat at the proximity of the woman. Sure, the past six months had minimized their contact, what with being cast out of the mansion like an evil spirit, but her body… It craved Regina's touch, her very presence so close that she could inhale the mixture of clean scents and perfume with each breath. If Regina were a drug, Emma knew she was an addict, and that was why even as her body hummed, her stomach churned, and she broke out in a cold sweat. "Regina, that's not true, I know when you're lying. I always know when you're lying."

Even as her mind screamed to create distance, her heart screamed just as loud to grab Regina -- to take her right there against the door until the woman forgot about wanting a divorce, until she forgot everything except Emma's name, and all the insanity just stopped so the world could make sense again. "Don't say that. We're not wrong. We fit together like jigsaw pieces. You know it. I know it. Everyone in this whole damn town knows it. Regina, please…" Emma whispered against Regina's dark hair - not quite against the woman's ear, for fear of crossing a line and being punished for it. "Just tell me what happened." She pleaded, and if her voice hitched from the emotion, or her chin trembled, well she carried right on anyway. "One day we were great and then… And then it was like you couldn't stand the sight of me, and I know we didn't fight. I would have remembered, I would have brought you flowers, I would have made it up to you…" Unshed tears caused her vision to blur. "I would have fixed it."

Emma straightened up to take in a stuttered breath, to try and compose herself as best she could, before confessing something she swore she wouldn't ever say again. "I love you." She choked out. "Do you honestly not love me any more?" This was it, the question Emma never had the courage to ask before because she knew, whatever the answer was, she'd have to accept it. Even if it shattered her into million pieces.

"I wish I never loved you." Regina's chest rose and fell with a harsh shudder, and her eyes were like two spots of black ink when she stole a glance up at Emma. Mascara ran down her cheek in a crooked flourish, as if someone signed off on this misery. "Nothing can change how I feel. I made a mistake when it comes to us and I have to live with the consequences of that. So do you."

Regina stepped out of Emma's way and held the door open for her. "You should go."


	2. Chapter 2

Snow vowed that she would never meddle in Emma's love life again, but after Henry's birthday party and two long nights of listening to Emma crying herself to sleep, she decided to intervene.

Her plan for intervention involved Winifred McCurnin, who had a freckled nose and a shock of straight, flame red hair that she recently cut to a length just below her chin. She joined Snow's book club some time during the curse, and while the two of them had never been friends, they at least shared the same tastes in books.

As Snow was pouring herself a cup of coffee and preparing for an hour long discussion about a Pearl S. Buck novel, she began to see Winifred in a very new light.

"I just broke up with my girlfriend," Winifred sighed. "Well, it happened three weeks ago, but she came by today to pick up her stuff."

Snow perked up at the news; it was only when her face began to ache from smiling that she remembered she should be frowning. "Hey... Winifred, what are you doing later?" she hurriedly asked. "Want to come to dinner at Granny's?"

"Sure," Winifred shrugged. "Why not?"

The truth was that Snow knew almost nothing about Winifred, but the Sapphic population of Storybrooke seemed dismally low, and surely Winifred would jump at the chance to go out to dinner with the savior. If Emma would only see herself as desirable, it might give her the boost of confidence it seemed she so desperately needed.

An hour later, Snow flung the door to the apartment open and found her daughter where she knew Emma would be - on the couch, with a beer and a bag of chips. She brushed the crumbs off of Emma's tank top and then sat down beside her. "Guess what," she rambled. "We're going out tonight. I'm going to pick your outfit. Why don't you go and take a shower? You know, I shouldn't have made that a question. It's a statement. You need to shower and please, brush your hair... It looks like there are birds nesting in it. "

Emma didn't have a problem with alcohol - in fact she got along pretty well with it. She was currently on her second beer and was considering having one or two more before inevitably crawling into bed with the desire to just forget her life. Sometimes, in her darkest moments, as she relived the haunting moment of Regina stating she wished she'd never loved her, Emma found herself wishing she'd never met the woman. She'd been fine before, hadn't she? Okay so she had no family, she lived alone, and she didn't have any friends but at least her heart had been intact. At least she could fall asleep to the idea of what it would feel like to have it all. Now she knew, and it had been taken away like it had at so many foster homes…

"Why are we going out? More specifically, where are we going? Do I have to go?" Emma's slight grunt was only due to the not so subtle hint to go shower. Emma personally thought she smelled fine, and so what if her hair was a little tuggy, it had been windy all day. Sometimes Emma found herself doing what was asked of her just to get away from being pestered. "Fine, but no cardigans, I draw the line at that." Emma huffed as she stood up and winced as her back cracked.

Twenty minutes later and she was standing in her bedroom wrapped in a towel with a horrified expression on her face. It had to be a joke. As if her life wasn't a big enough one already. Why would Snow ever think it would be okay to pick that? "It's floral." Emma finally choked out as her eyes danced across the monstrosity of white and pink with a splash of yellow. It reminded her of commercials with happy couples on picnics.

"It's pretty, and you look great in it. The yellow will go with your hair and the pink will bring out the color of your cheeks." Snow beamed at her daughter, then her face lit up as she added, "And I haven't put you in a cardigan."

"It's winter. In Maine." Emma blurted incredulously. If she wore the dress and didn't die from humiliation, she'd surely end up with hypothermia. Well… Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps if she were ill enough, she'd stop thinking about the meeting scheduled with the lawyers tomorrow.

"You'll be in a car. It's not like we'll be walking down the street for goodness sake. Now put it on. We need to leave soon. Your father is already home and getting changed." With that said, Snow gave her best motherly glare of warning, and then flounced out of the room, clearly ecstatic that her plan was working.

Emma slumped, yet still came out of her room fifteen minutes later with her hair dried and the dress on.

David saw the glum look on Emma's face and frowned sympathetically. "Let me guess – Snow dressed you?" He clapped his daughter on the shoulder and went to get her coat, then held it up while Emma put her arms through the sleeves. "I'm glad she's letting me dress myself these days…"

"I'm glad you've finally learned how!" Snow came out from the alcove behind the stairs where she and David still slept, and together the family headed out the door. Flurries began to fall as they walked to Granny's, and a thin crust of ice crunched under their boots. They left behind a trail of footprints by the time they shuffled into the diner.

By the time they got inside, Emma's pale skin was ever so slightly blue, which Snow would no doubt say matched her jacket. It wasn't until the heat hit her that she remembered the woman had said they were driving. "So much for the car," she muttered quietly.

"Oh hush, the walk wasn't that far and the fresh air does you good." Snow smiled, and casually pushed her daughter forward as they made their way to the table where a friendly redhead offered her a dazzling smile and her hand.

"I'm Winnie," the redhead purred.

Emma shook Winnie's hand without giving it much thought. After all, it wasn't the first time Snow had dragged her along to dinner with her friends. "Hey, Winnie, I'm-"

"Emma, I know, everyone does. I mean, you saved us all, and you're the sheriff." Winnie laughed softly, the freckles on her cheeks partially hidden by her blush as Emma sat down next to her. The girl wore a plush green sweater and comfy, flared jeans that Emma instantly envied.

Emma offered an amused smile in return because she was used to people blurting out that sort of thing when she met them. Apparently that was just how life was now. She didn't need to introduce herself, she was famous in the small town, and though she knew that nobody meant any harm by it, it still grated on her nerves.

"Winnie and I met at Book Club," Snow chirped happily, as she scooted into the booth across from the redhead and her daughter.

"Book Club huh? She isn't making you read Sylvia Plath, is she?" Emma cringed at the idea of The Bell Jar. Why Snow had thought she'd enjoy reading it after being evicted from Regina's house, their house, she would never know.

Winnie gave Emma a bashful grin while Snow kicked her daughter under the table.

David was entirely too busy trying to get Ruby's attention because he was starving.

"Oh no…" Winnie said, and she tilted her head to look at Emma coyly, "Right now we're reading Fifty Shades of Grey."

Emma's eyes widened incredulously at her mother, "You're reading what?" So caught up in her surprise she didn't realize what she was saying as she carried on with, "Beside the fact that it's atrocious, it grossly misrepresents the BDSM lifestyle. I mean seriously, even Wikipedia is more accurate than that trash."

Snow's eyes widened in disbelief but Winnie's widened for entirely different reasons.

"We're actually reading The Good Earth," Snow cut in, "Winnie was joking." She warmed her hands over a cup of cocoa that Ruby brought over. "But we can have a discussion about this later when we get home."

Ruby was all smiles as she passed a cup of hot cocoa to Emma. "It's about time that someone gave her the sex talk."

"What?" David's skin burned hotly at the topic of conversation. He wished, for what he expected wouldn't be the only time that evening, that Snow had decided to call this a ladies' night.

Winnie clasped her hands under her chin and leaned closer to Emma. "So, what are your hobbies? Aside from whips and reading Wikipedia?"

Distracted by her warm, sugary beverage, Emma overlooked the playful mention of whips, viewing it as an icebreaker and nothing more.

Ruby, however, picked up on what was going on immediately and shot a wide-eyed look towards Snow, who tried to shoo her way with her eyes.

"Oh I don't really have any." Emma said with a slight shrug, then tilted her head as she thought. "Gaming I guess. Darts. Does alcohol count?"

Winnie frowned and fluttered her eyelashes out of boredom, but mustered a polite smile for Emma. "Sure."

"Emma also loves camping," Snow put in, "And she's learning how to cook." She buttered a roll from the basket of bread that Ruby brought to the table and did her best to let Emma take control of the conversation.

Emma frowned slightly as her mother interjected, then added offhandedly, "Well if we're counting skills as hobbies I used to be a bail bonds person, so I'm pretty damn good at finding people and things." Later she would realize she sounded just like her parents, always proclaiming to find each other.

"Are you a natural blonde?" Winnie asked. She licked her lips wolfishly and glanced down at Emma's floral ensemble.

"Yes," Snow replied. "She takes after her father that way…"

"I…" Emma faltered, but once again Snow stepped in and answered for her. She shot her mother an annoyed glance and wondered if she looked as confused as David.

"Anyway, what do you do, Winnie? I think I've seen you before but I can't remember where. Do you have job or are you in college?" It puzzled her for a second, but her attention was caught by Ruby trying to wave to her.

Snow shot up abruptly before Emma had the chance and announced, "I think she's asking about our order, I'll be right back."

David was in the middle of scarfing down a piece of bread; he gave Emma a helpless look and then followed his wife. "We'll be right back, it seems…."

"I'm a teacher," Winnie replied, leaning closer to Emma. "A pre-school teacher, actually. I like being around the kids, but in my free time... my hobbies are... very adult." She tapped at the table with her fingertips, and then put her hand over Emma's wrist. "What about you? I mean, I know you're the sheriff... but do you like to use your handcuffs off the clock?"

In all honesty Emma didn't see the problem with being left alone with Winnie, especially when she learned what her occupation was.

Oh, how wrong she had been. Heat flared up Emma's neck and she laughed nervously as one hand tightened around her cup, "Oh yeah?" She heard herself say, and it was more out of panic than anything else. Winnie's hand was gentle, and her fingers were smooth against her skin. Even though the divorce was almost final, she couldn't help but think of Regina. But eight months without physical contact had her body screaming for more. Emma tried to ignore it and in the process blurted out exactly what she hadn't meant to: "Well sure that's half the fun of having handcuffs." She rushed on with, "I mean not lately."

No, that was worse, shit. The only help her mind gave was to evacuate the table so Emma stood up rather red faced and mumbled, "Excuse me a moment, I need to go to the bathroom."

"No problem." Winnie coquettishly raised an eyebrow at Emma, and as Emma headed towards the restroom, she decided to follow. As soon as the door closed behind them, she was reaching for Emma and pulling up the bottom of the floral skirt. "This is cute," she quietly laughed. "Something out of your mom's closet? Definitely not your style. Let's take it off."

Emma had been oblivious until she heard the woman's steps behind her, and she turned just in time to see the redhead's hand smooth down her shoulder to grasp her bicep. Emma's lips parted so a startled little gasp could be drawn in and it took a second for her mind to catch up to the fact that Winnie's other hand was coiling around the bottom of her dress. She nodded dumbly when asked about it being her mother's and shut her eyes as temptation flushed through her system. "I-I can't," she croaked. "I'm married."

Winnie backed off in confusion and glared at Emma as she laughed, "What! You're married? Does your mom know that? Because she set me up on a blind date with you. I thought you and the… Evil Queen were getting a divorce?" She reached for a paper towel, wet it and then used it to cool her neck.

The sudden shift in Winnie's behavior made Emma bristle, and she squared her shoulders as if she were wearing her leather jacket and not a skimpy summer dress. "She did what?" Emma was going to kill Snow, but maybe after she got done with Winnie, because not only did she slap her with a harsh reality, she made a huge mistake with her word choice. "You're right, I am getting a divorce, but if you ever call Regina that again, I'll show you evil." She stomped by the girl with a glare of her own and snarled, "Have a great night."

Emma scanned the room for her mother and when she caught sight of her, everyone else faded away and she made a beeline for the woman. "Did you honestly dress me up to bring me on a blind date with a girl who tried to coax me into having sex in a bathroom ten minutes after meeting her?" The fact that Emma had momentarily felt aroused by it was beside the point, as far as she was concerned.

"What?" Snow gasped. "No! I just thought it might help you to know that you're still desirable. You've been so hard on yourself lately. You don't know what went wrong in your marriage, but you assume that it's all your fault. It isn't your fault, Emma!"

"Yeah well…"

Fuck. It had helped, even though it had been fleeting. "You know what, that's irrelevant, you can't just set me up with someone without telling me first! And so what if I assume that? It could be my fault, you don't know." It was petty and stupid but it had struck a nerve. Emma was so focused on Snow she forgot where they were, didn't even register the hushed silence as everyone listened.

"No, Emma," Snow pleaded. "This is just how Regina is... You'll never figure out how her mind works. Please, stop blaming yourself, and for your sake and Henry's sake, start living again."

"Don't you dare talk about her like that!" Emma snapped. "I'll blame myself if I want, and I have a life!" She grabbed her blue leather jacket, which she slipped on and zipped up angrily. "In fact, I'm going to go live it right now."

It hit her like the flurry of snow to the face that had she grown up with her parents, that little fight would have been similar to ones they would have had when she was a teenager. "See you later."

The bells on the door jangled as Regina entered with Henry in tow, but she had no sooner stepped towards the coat rack before she came to a grinding halt. She caught sight of Emma, whose face was red and flustered, and quietly told Henry to have a seat in their usual booth. As Emma left without so much as glancing her way, she went after Emma, so fast that she nearly slipped on the icy path. "Emma!" she rasped out. "Wait. You don't have to leave the diner just because I showed up..."

The sound of her name made Emma spin around, and the vitriol she was about to spit out died on her tongue as she realized it wasn't her mother or Winnie. It was her soon to be ex-wife. For a second she just stood there, until the bitter wind shook her out of it and she folded her arms around herself. "Regina... I didn't even see you come in." Even against the elements her face still burned, and Emma shrugged lightly, "I wouldn't do that. Leave just because you were there."

Regina shielded herself against the glacial air by pulling her jacket tighter. "Oh," she blinked. "Alright, then." Shivering, she took another step towards Emma and then glanced out at the street. "In that case, get home safely. We're supposed to have a storm. And Emma? Consider wearing a warmer jacket this week. The one with the fur lining is better suited for a night like this one. You'll freeze..." She removed the thick sable scarf from around her neck and arranged it around Emma's face. "Good night."

Emma wondered if Regina really cared, or if the woman just acted out of habit. She realized she didn't want to know as her eyes began to water, but she pretended that was due to the cold wind and not the scent of Regina that clung to the scarf now wrapped around her. Of course she mentioned her jacket and didn't spare a glance at the dress. Why that offended Emma she didn't know. Actually, that was a lie, she did know. "I'll return the scarf tomorrow at the meeting," Emma said thickly. "Enjoy your dinner."

"I'm not very hungry," Regina softly admitted. "But Henry's growing so fast, I can't seem to keep the kitchen cabinets stocked, as you well know." She eyed the floral disaster underneath Emma's coat - she didn't need to mention the dress. She had already guessed that it came from Snow. "The meeting," she muttered, as if she had forgotten. "Right. Tomorrow." Her teeth chattered as she bent her head, unable to look at the other woman. "When I said that I wished I never loved you... I meant it because I see how you're hurting now and I can't bear the thought that I'm the cause of your pain. I do love you, Emma. I still love you. But true love isn't as powerful as the stories would have you believe. It can't always fix things." She let out a warm, quick breath and tucked her numb hands into her pockets. "I'll see you tomorrow," she muttered, and then disappeared into the diner.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma knew the exact time the meeting took place but she still turned up ten minutes late with her shoulders slumped in defeat. She sat next to her lawyer and avoided the curious gaze of Mr. Gold who sat next to Regina. She couldn't look at the woman as she pushed the scarf across the table with a mumbled, "Thanks."

Last night, when she'd gotten home, she'd showered and crawled into bed. The scarf had been wrapped around half of her pillow like she were some lovesick teenager, and in a moment of sheer weakness, she'd touched herself to the memory of Regina saying she still loved her. Unfortunately, all her climax had brought her was tears. The rest of Regina's words haunted her until she finally succumbed to a restless sleep.

Now she just wanted to get the meeting over with before she threw up in front of everyone.

"Right then," Rumple began softly, and cast a glance around the table. "Shall we begin?"

Regina wore all black, and if not for a printed scarf with a small splash of blue in it, she would have looked like she was attending a funeral. She kept her hands folded in front of her, and stared down at her finger where her wedding ring used to be. For all of the kindness she showed Emma during the previous evening, her mood had blackened that morning and her regret turned to anger. After Henry was out the door to school, she bundled up and went for a stroll in the cemetery. She brought along white roses for her parents, but left the flowers on the frigid marble floor and descended into her hidden lair. All morning, she sat in her secret room and cried – then she broke every last one of her mirrors in a fit of rage.

At the meeting table, Regina was deadly quiet and only flicked her long lashes at Rumpel to give him the go ahead.

Dissatisfied with her nonverbal answer, Rumpel shut his folders and stood up. "Regina, come with me," he commanded, and from the way he tapped his cane, she sensed he would pull back her chair if she didn't listen.

She met him in the adjoining office, and stuck out her chin ruefully to show her displeasure. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Get Emma to sign the papers so we can leave."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Rumpel asked her.

"It's what we're here to do," Regina insisted. "This has gone on for long enough. I can't... talk to her, I can't explain what happened. I need this to be over with - get her to sign."

"The problem with that," Rumple began sternly, though his voice was hushed, "is the fact that it will never be over. Do you honestly think signing a slip of paper will end all this? She has no closure, which prevents you from getting closure. You always think you know what's best but I'm telling you, this will fix nothing."

While Regina and Rumpel were having their chat, Emma scowled down at the paperwork as if it was responsible for everything. The coffee she'd forced down her throat churned in her stomach and she swallowed thickly. Since when was she this pathetic? God damn it, she'd taken a chainsaw to the apple tree the third day she was in town and that had been over petty disagreements.

"Why am I making this easy for her? I don't want a divorce. She does." The cogs in Emma's head began to turn as her scowl deepened. "Just because I love her doesn't mean I should give her everything she wants. What about what I want, huh?"

"Oh, I'm not sure that's the best way to think of it," came the nervous reply from her lawyer, who wore a grey suit and tapped his pen restlessly against the desk.

"I'm not talking to you Jeff! Let me think," Emma snapped. Had this not been about divorce she would have laughed at the way the lawyer hunched down in his seat like a chastised dog. "No, I'm not making this easy. No more mess free agreements," she said under her breath as her eyes darkened. "I'm going to complicate the hell out of it."

While Emma's resolve was growing, Regina launched into a heated debate with Rumpel.

"Signing those papers will end our marriage," she stated flatly. "Emma is stubborn and strong... but even she won't hold out hope after our names are on those legally binding documents." She doubted that Emma would be discouraged by a purely symbolic act, but what other choice was there? She tried to make Emma hate her, and failed. What else could she do?

"I can't go on like this," Regina softly conceded. There were black shadows under her eyes - her sleep had been disrupted by the sudden change in her life. Her mind was affected by it, and in her nightmares, she dreamt of the past and what the future might have held in store for her.

With a speed in her step, she hastened back into the office and searched for the appropriate forms herself. She pushed the divorce papers in front of Emma and grabbed a pen. "Sign," she demanded.

Rumpel followed after Regina and waited to see what Emma would do. "There are three places, dearie, that require your signature..." He pointed to the helpful tabs that marked the locations on the papers.

The change in Emma's posture was significant. No longer hunched over, she sat with her back straight and her shoulders as square as her strong jaw. The hopelessness in her eyes had been overtaken by fire and she snorted as Rumple helped her out with where her signature needed to be.

For a second as she lifted the pen up, it looked like she was about to sign, but instead she put the cap on it and slid it over to Jeff as she locked eyes with Regina. "No," she sneered, and then shook her head.

To hell with what people thought, or what was appropriate. Something inside Emma had snapped like a worn out rubber band, and she stood up just to splay her hands against the table so she could lean over to get in Regina's face.

"For months I've asked you, begged you, to tell me what the problem is, what the big secret is, and all I've gotten were your hate and your lies. Well guess what, I'm done." Emma straightened up with a nasty smirk and she allowed all the anger inside herself to fuel her on as she glared at Regina.

"You want a divorce? Well I want the truth," Emma spat out, and fuck if it didn't feel good to get it all off her chest. "So it looks like we're both going to have to deal with the disappointment of not getting what we want. Suck it up, Your Majesty, because I'm not going anywhere."

Confrontation always riled Regina and brought a welcome flood of adrenaline to her veins that allowed her to strike out with all of the stinging precision of a cracking whip.

Never before had a confrontation startled and perplexed her the way it did when Emma refused her. "What?" she croaked incredulously. "You will sign these papers! Rumpel..."

Her face scrunched desperately, and her heart pounded in her chest - she had no fight in her, no comeback as Emma told her the terms and conditions of proceeding with the divorce.

Rumple would have intervened, but he doubted that he could get himself between the pair; he chose to look the other way while Regina backed herself into a corner.

Regina shut her eyes, and sought brutal, heart-crushing words; all she needed to do was hurt Emma enough to get her recant her threats. I can't trust you! There's only one reason I ever kept secrets, and that's because I know I can't confide in you.

How strange that her first line of defense was, in some way, the truth. But she didn't speak aloud.

"If you won't sign, I'm leaving. I hoped to do this peacefully, but if you'd rather we do this the hard way, that's fine by me. Move aside."

The fact that Regina didn't lash out surprised Emma, but more than that it invigorated her, and suddenly she felt empowered. In touch with her core being. The fighter. The survivor. And oh, was she pissed. "So there is a secret! That's just perfect. Maybe I didn't fuck everything up like you've let me believe for nearly a year. What did you do, Regina? Something you're ashamed of? Because last night you told me you still loved me and that wasn't a lie, so what the hell are you hiding that you think this is the answer? You think I won't stand by you if I knew? Well you're a coward."

Emma had officially handed in all her fucks, and now with none left to give, she finally felt like she could breathe again. Sure, she might destroy herself and Regina in the process but at least it would be on her terms. So it was with a smile that she sidestepped to let Regina by, but just before the woman reached her side she announced breezily, "Sure. I'll see you at home, dear."

Regina's eyes widened in panic and her nostrils flared at the prospect of sharing a living space with Emma again. There would be no possibility of avoiding her guilt with Emma around to remind her of it every day, and that thought terrified Regina. For the first time in months, she used magic to vanish in a cloud of purple smoke, but she was shaking and disoriented from the fight with Emma, and only made it so far as the parking lot before she lost the protective shroud of magic. She sat behind the wheel of her car and a wracking sob left her breathless and wet. Tears blurred her vision as she started the vehicle, but she had to pull over twice before reaching home.

Her anger was gone, and in place of it was a blinding pain that diminished her to a helpless, frightened child. She locked herself in the bathroom and washed her face until it was red from the heat of the water instead of just blotchy from crying. She would have to compose herself if she was going to chase Emma away, but her body wouldn't cooperate - her eyes wouldn't stay dry and her hands wouldn't stop trembling.

Later that afternoon, Henry called to tell her that he was going to be sleeping at his grandfather's over night. Rumpel had considerately invited him for a game night with Belle.

The sun had already set when Regina hung up the phone and decided to take a long, hot shower. She put on her warmest pajamas and then curled up on the couch, grateful that Emma hadn't shown up. She hoped Emma had her changed mind, but little did she know that her wife was more determined than ever.

When Regina vanished in a cloud of purple Emma had released a deep sigh and flashed a grin towards Rumpel. It wasn't that she was proud of herself. It was that for the first time in almost a year she felt like she was on the right track again. Perhaps fighting wasn't the answer but damn, it was familiar, and right then it made her feel alive so she'd take it. "There's the Regina I know," she said, then took off running, but by the time she had reached her car there was no sign of Regina.

She drove straight to Snow's and began re-packing her belongings with no care for what went where just as long as they fit in the damn black bags. However, just as she'd placed the last of her things by the door, it opened, and for the next three hours she found herself arguing with the woman who didn't want her to leave.

"You can't just move back in, Emma. I'm sure that's against the law," Snow had warned.

"It isn't, I checked with the lawyer. I can move back in because of common asses." Emma had stated with conviction.

"Assets," Snow had corrected with a frown.

"Whatever. I need answers and I'm going to get them," Emma had concluded, and promptly left before Snow asked David to tie her to a chair.

Now it was close to nine at night, and the sun was setting as she parked her car outside the gates of the mansion. She only grabbed one bag, but she focused all her attention on the rest and shut her eyes. A tingle shot through her frame and when she opened her eyes the bags were gone. They'd be waiting for her in one of the guest bedrooms. Emma locked her bug, tossed the bag over her shoulder, and sauntered up the path. She still had a key, in case of emergencies, but the door was unlocked when she tried the handle.

Emma didn't try to sneak around. She wanted Regina to know she was there, and that was why she kept her boots on as she walked through the foyer to get to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

Regina bristled as she heard the sound of Emma's gritty boots scraping against her wood flooring; she flipped a page in the novel she was reading and tried to ignore each noise that indicated that Emma had returned home, but it was impossible. All of her willpower failed her and she slammed the book shut, leaving it on the couch as she stormed into the kitchen. She snatched the glass of water out of Emma's hand and took a sip before giving it back to her. "Fine," she grunted. "This is what you want? You want to live here? Then you'll clean up after yourself. You left muddy footprints on the floor." She bustled over to the closet and found the mop, along with a pail, and thrust both of the washing implements at Emma. "I'll be in the living room."

Perhaps grinning at the clearly aggravated woman wasn't the best course of action but Emma couldn't help herself. Even when the mop was thrust against her chest, her grin didn't waver for an instant, and hell, she even whistled as she kicked off her boots and cleaned the prints she'd left behind. Silence, she knew, would drive Regina up the wall. Now that she'd riled her up her sheer presence did all the work for her.

Regina stormed back to the living room, but as soon as she settled back in her spot on the couch, she began to wonder what Emma was doing. This time, she didn't indulge her curiosity. She draped a blanket over her legs and made herself comfortable, but the ache in her chest that she thought had subsided earlier returned full force when she glanced up at the picture on the mantel. She launched herself up from her resting spot and ripped the frame down once and for all. With a wave of her hand, it disappeared, out of sight and out of mind. Why did she need that picture of Emma when the original was close at hand?

She sneered at Emma as the woman passed through the living room on her way upstairs to unpack. Emma only smirked at the flustered woman and went about her business.

Except… in the middle of folding her clothes, Emma decided she didn't want to sleep in the guest room. Emma wickedly grabbed her things and dumped them on Regina's bed, then one by one, she methodically put all of her things back where they once belonged. Oh, Regina would fight her on it, she knew, but the idea of getting under Regina's skin was too tantalizing to pass up. She'd drive her bat shit crazy if it meant she got the truth.

"Emma?" Regina sang out, innocently enough from downstairs.

Just as she stripped off her shirt with the intent to grab a shower, Emma heard Regina calling on her. For a split second it was so remarkably like how they'd once been that she smiled.

She was already half undressed, so she decided to leave her shirt where it was and sauntered down the stairs in her jeans and tank top.

Regina was waiting for her with a small smile. If a wife was what Emma wanted, she thought, a wife she'd get. "You know, now that you're home to stay, the study could really use a fresh coat of paint... "

"Yeah?" Emma asked, then walked over to stick her head in the study. "You're right. Place looks shabby as hell." It didn't, but the insult would make Regina squirm and that pleased Emma to no end. She felt like a new woman. Or a better version of her old self. "Guess you better grab a paint brush, Regina. Unless you want it painted a nice bright pink or neon yellow." She cocked her head as if truly considering it. "Maybe I'll mix the two."

Emma smiled sweetly, and arched her eyebrows as if she had no idea that she was antagonizing Regina.

"My mistake, it seems I forgot what bad taste you have," Regina coldly replied. She floated towards the stairs, moving with a practiced and graceful air of superiority as she ascended.

"I think that's pretty self evident," Emma retorted as she followed Regina up the stairs with all the grace of a lumberjack, strictly because she knew it annoyed the woman. They both knew her color choices were selected out of spite and good humor. Still, if Regina wanted to hurt her by saying she had bad taste, she'd just flip it around. "After all, I married you."

"Oh, yes, Ruby would have been the better choice by far," Regina snorted. "You could've solved all of your marital issues with a leash and muzzle. I bet you have regrets." She pretended to be indifferent, even though Emma's criticisms and insults made her blood boil. It wasn't until she set foot in her bedroom that she lost all semblance of sanity and gave into old habits.

"Are you jealous of Ruby? You realize our friendship is purely platonic, right?" Emma scoffed. It was clear she was amused by the way she hummed low in her throat. "I don't know, maybe a gag and a leash would work wonders on you. You have been acting like a complete bitch for the better part of a year now." Really, she couldn't resist. Regina had opened herself up for that one.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Regina growled out, her eyes wide with shock as she made a blind grab for Emma's favorite pillow.

"Taking a shower." Emma casually announced, knowing full well the outrage had everything to do with moving all of her things back into Regina's room. Their room.

"We are not sharing a bed! I didn't agree to sleep with you...- beside you... - I won't tolerate this! Take your things and get out." Regina tossed the pillow in the direction of the door and threw Emma's blanket on the carpet. Then she yanked back her comforter and slipped into bed, concentrating very hard on willing Emma out of existence.

Unfortunately there was no magic that could make her wife permanently disappear. Not that she truly wanted that...

There was no shame as Emma shrugged off her tank top and bra and slipped out of her jeans and panties. She didn't expect Regina to look but if she made her uncomfortable then that would be a bonus. "Yes we are, and for the record, I recall many nights when you did in fact agree to sleep with me. Is your memory getting fuzzy? I mean you're like what, in your sixties, right?"

At the jibe about her age, Regina's lips twisted into a miserable smile. "I'm not the forgetful one," she chuckled abrasively. "You can't even remember where you keep your underwear, or where we went on our first date... I wouldn't expect you to remember that I had no interest in you initially…"

Regina was never concerned with modesty, but as Emma continued to strip down in front of her, she tried to look away.

Still, her eyes swept over Emma from head-to-toe, her pupils lust blown under hooded, black lashes. Her mouth fell open in appreciation of Emma's full breasts, toned upper body, creamy skin and powerful long legs. She held her breath until Emma stepped into the bathroom, then gasped and scrambled to compensate for her not so subtle reaction to Emma's nudity. Her options were limited; given her own inability to control herself, she considered forfeiting her own bed and moving to the guest room. That would be the safest choice, but she knew that backing down so easily under such circumstances would only intensify Emma's curiosity. If Emma knew that physical intimacy sent Regina running, then she might start up again with a barrage of unwanted questions.

Emma sauntered into the bathroom as she pretended she didn't hear Regina's comments. She did indeed take a quick shower with Regina's expensive soaps, and it was glorious. Thoroughly washed and fresh faced, she toweled off and walked back into the room, ignoring her things scattered around as she plucked up her panties and tank top and slid them back on. Screw pajamas, she wanted to feel the ridiculously soft sheets against her clean skin.

"If you must stay, sleep on your side," Regina hissed. "And there are ground rules. Do not wake me with your snoring or by turning the lights on when you get up to use the restroom. You may not eat in my bed, and don't even think about touching me..."

"Don't you get it, Regina?" Emma sighed with a smile, she grabbed her pillow off the floor and lifted up the covers to slip into bed beside the woman. "I'll sleep how I want to sleep, I'll eat where I want to eat and if I want to turn the light on so I don't bash my shins in, then I damn well will."

Regina hastily decided that desperate times called for desperate measures. "You don't give up, do you?" she sighed in exasperation. "I'm going to be stuck with you, no matter what I do. I should just give in and save myself the trouble…"

"Well I believe there was something in our vows about until death do us part, so unless you plan on killing me in my sleep…Yeah, you should." Emma agreed easily, but then again, she'd thought Regina had been talking about telling her the truth of what had happened in their marriage.

She got comfy on her back and clasped her hands above her head. Regina was already sitting up and looked like she was on the verge of leaving. With her eyes shut, Emma added cheerfully, "You don't have to worry Regina, I have no desire to put my hands on you. The only one I'll be touching is myself…" She grinned wickedly, then yawned.

"That was one thing I appreciated about our marriage," Regina husked. "You never did have a problem entertaining yourself." She waited patiently until Emma was stretched out and completely unsuspecting before she made her move on Emma. With a calculated and quick shift in positioning, she brought their mouths together in tenderly slow and lasting kisses that heated their skin and caused her to moan deep in her throat. "But perhaps I have missed this," she conceded, then reached for a box she kept in the drawer beside her bed, which stored what had previously been thought of as their 'night-time necessities.' While her mouth was busy distracting Emma, she grabbed a pair of handcuffs and ever so carefully fastened her to the bed.

The shock of feeling the warmth of her wife's body curl around her body stole Emma's voice, just as much as the incredibly sincere kiss stole her breath away. Emma's mind screamed that it was a trap but her heart said it didn't care. It had been far too long since she'd tasted the other woman's lips to not indulge in it, just for a minute, to get lost in the sensations of being wanted by the woman she loved. The sound of Regina's raspy moan sent heat racing through Emma's body and she pressed her thighs together to try and quell her building desire, but she heard herself whisper "I've missed it too" against Regina's lips.

Only when Emma was properly restrained did Regina pull back, as relieved as she was self congratulating. "There," she breathed out. "And fortunately for me you weren't paying attention on the day that I taught you how to get out of such traps by using your magic. Welcome home, dear."

It took several long seconds for Emma's mind to function again when Regina withdrew, and several more to register what the hell she'd said. "Wha-?" She choked out incredulously when she tried to reach for Regina and found her hands cuffed to the bed. "Are you serious? I wasn't going to touch you!" Emma snarled. No, fuck this, she wasn't going to thrash and complain because that was exactly the reaction Regina probably wanted. Well, screw her, she was in for a nasty shock of her own. Emma kicked the blankets off the bed in order to better maneuver herself. She rolled onto her stomach with a glare towards the smaller woman and felt grateful for the chain being able to twist just enough so that she wasn't breaking her wrists. Then she shimmied up the bed with a few frustrated, angry grunts, until she could raise herself up onto her knees, which now rested against her pillow.

"Lucky for me I've been working out." Emma growled out, and rather than damage her wrists by yanking on the chain, she grabbed onto the headboard and began slamming it back and forth against the wall. It groaned and creaked in protest but it only encouraged her, and with a few more vicious smacks, the wooden panel gave way with the most satisfying of snaps. "And my strength is no match for your headboard." Emma hissed and tore her hands free of the damn thing. Emma glared at the cuffs around her wrists until she realized something important. "Funny, for someone who wants a divorce you still have all of our things in your drawer by the bed. A little something to help you through those long, lonely nights, huh?"

The question was husked out as Emma unceremoniously straddled Regina to reach for the drawer. It was awkward with both hands bound together but she managed to rummage around enough to find the key.

"What makes you think those nights were lonely?" Regina hissed out in a last, futile effort to get her way.

The implication that Regina had been sleeping with someone else tore through Emma like a close range bullet. Emma tensed in pain, her breath caught in her throat, and then the anger in her eyes intensified.

Regina's face burned with regret and she swallowed hard as if to preparing to apologize, though she never got the chance.

Emma slid off the bed to unlock the cuffs and dropped them back into the drawer before banging it shut. "You know, you look a little flustered. Maybe you need to cool down," Emma spat, and her voice was practically like gravel as she grabbed Regina by the arms and slung her over her shoulder like a fireman. Then she marched straight into the bathroom, turned the shower on to its coldest setting, and pushed the woman under the spray while she was still clad in her pajamas. "Enjoy, your Majesty." Emma smirked and stalked back into the bedroom, where she settled once again on the bed.

Regina sputtered as water drenched her nightclothes and it was a struggle to stand up; she turned off the shower and undressed with all of the speed her frozen limbs could manage. At a deliberately slower pace, she dried and composed herself, taking her time to process the fight with Emma. She resented Emma's nerve, and the way Emma intuitively knew how to lay siege to her walls, kicking them down as if they were built from nothing but blocks. Feeling vulnerable and frightened always left Regina at a disadvantage, but she had only herself to blame and that bothered her the most. She did all that she could to make Emma hate her, but in the last several days, she weakened her own defenses to the point of self-sabotage. Simply because she couldn't let Emma go.

With her hair still damp from her unexpected shower, Regina hurried back to the bedroom and began putting on warmer pajamas, stepping into a pair of Emma's old flannels that she kept for herself. She needed the emotional release that came only from crying, but with Emma nestled in her bed, she didn't dare let her guard down.

When she slid back underneath her down comforter, she was silent and closed off. That is, until she fell asleep. Some time after dozing off, she curled into Emma and held on, her head instinctively finding Emma's chest.

Emma barely slept. She drifted in and out of consciousness sporadically. When she was awake her mind raced. Entirely lost in her own thoughts as she got stuck on Regina's taunt. What if her nights weren't lonely? What if she had been sleeping with someone else? That train of thought had been a downward spiral. Time ticked away as she wondered if Regina had been cheating, and that was why she'd wanted a divorce. Had she not been able to satisfy her in all the ways she needed? Did they touch her like she was precious? Did they listen for the hitch of breath when they roamed her body? Did they appreciate every toe twitch and breathless sigh? Did she grip the sheets for them they way she used to for her? Did she call out their name?

With a soft sob in her chest, Emma pulled away from Regina and curled up on the far side of the bed.

It wasn't until Regina felt Emma's receding warmth that she began to have nightmares about the past. Her dreams were restless and brought her back to cold places her conscious mind avoided. She woke with a startled gasp and the conviction that Emma was at least partially to blame for their failing marriage. One sidelong glance at the shambles of her headboard only served to further infuriate her, and she ripped away Emma's blanket in a fit of retaliation. "You're an ass," she cried out hysterically. "I should shove you out of bed right now. Why couldn't you have just signed the papers?"

Silent tears soaked Emma's pillow, but she knew with the blanket yanked away from her the subtle shake of her body as her emotions poured out would be seen as shivering. She'd mastered the art of crying without making a sound when she bounced around the foster system. Emma wiped her face against her pillow as Regina's hushed words clawed at her senses, and she whispered back, "You know what Regina, you were the one that kissed me, you were the one that intentionally used emotional manipulation after telling me not to touch you, and you were so proud of yourself for using the handcuffs when all I wanted to do was go to sleep. I'm the ass? Well fuck you, even when you'd lost your heart you weren't this heartless."

There were three things Emma wanted right then, and that was her marriage to go back to normal, sleep, and a strong drink. Since the first two weren't optional she got out of bed and stumbled down the stairs in the darkness without bothering to put anything else on, and filled a glass with scotch.

"Do you have any idea how you've disrupted my life by moving back in?" Regina seethed. "We had an agreement and you didn't follow through." She pursued Emma down the hallway and the staircase, following her until they came to the study; she heard the chinking of ice in a glass, and flipped on the light. Without consideration for what would happen, she wrenched the scotch out of Emma's hand and placed it aside. "I won't have you getting drunk, not when Henry will be home in the morning, excited to see you..."

"Don't touch me and don't you dare use Henry as an excuse to get what you want! If you cared at all about him you wouldn't have ripped his family apart." Emma snatched the glass back and took a large gulp. It scorched her throat but the pain was welcome. "I've disrupted your life?" Emma's sardonic tone was offset by the sick desperation in her laugh. "We never had an agreement. You just up and decided one day that you didn't want me any more. No explanation. No attempt to work it out even though I begged you, literally begged you. You were just done with me. Like I was a toy you'd finally gotten sick of playing with. Do you have any idea the hell you've put me through?" Everything that had been building up over the months, eating away at her, it was all coming out and Emma shook as it wracked her body. "You think I don't hear the whispers when I walk through town because you tossed me out like an unwanted stray? Every time we're in a room together you go out of your way to pick fault with everything I do and everything I am. You humiliate me in front of our friends and family. You dictate everything so that you get what you want!"

After a long pause, Regina exhaled and smoothed down her wrinkled flannel shirt, the one warm keepsake she refused to return to its owner. "Yes, I manipulated you. But you threw me into an ice cold shower, broke my headboard, and layered insult upon injury. I'm a horrible human being, but tonight you definitely earned the title of 'ass.' Let's call a temporary truce and have a conversation like two grown adults, shall we? I said a lot of hurtful things tonight and I'm sorry. I lied about there being someone else. There have been plenty of lonely nights, if you must know. Henry is the only person I even see on a regular basis, and he has his own life. Now, please... come back to bed?"

Emma fell silent to take a breath but her teeth chattered due to the rising emotions that threatened to engulf her. "Yeah I tossed you into a cold shower and broke your headboard, because you chained me to it like a god damn dog after you kissed me. This might be news to you Regina but the last time you kissed me like that was ten months ago. In fact, that was the last time you kissed me at all. So excuse me for reacting to you giving me this sliver of hope just so you could snatch it away again like some cheap trick." Emma stepped into Regina's space, pushed her roughly so that she was backed against the wall and continued on. "I've taken every vile, spiteful thing you've thrown at me for nearly a year and you can't take it for one night? The only time you ever look happy is when you're walking all over me and showing dominance and honestly it's like you get off on breaking me, so here!" Emma hissed, and if her eyes watered it was a mixture of anger and pain as she plunged her hand into her own chest and ripped her heart out. Emma didn't look at it as she pushed it into Regina's hands, didn't even glance at it as she sucked in a stuttered breath and announced, "Do what you want Regina! You always do." Then she pivoted and made her way back up stairs, only the bed she sank into this time was in the guest room.


	4. Chapter 4

Regina gripped Emma's heart as if it was a piece of fruit, and held it close to her lips as though she meant to taste it. She let out a shuddery sob and lowered herself onto the leather couch, where she sat while she drank down the rest of Emma's scotch. All of the accusations that Emma threw in her face were well deserved, but crippling; she could no longer deny that she'd been unjustly cruel, or seek to place blame where blame was never due.

What Regina wanted, more than anything, was to undo her impulsive, terrible mistake, so that she could lie beside Emma at night without constantly being bombarded by gut wrenching guilt. She cradled Emma's heart and cracked open her book of spells, flicking through the pages in frantic dismay.

Some time around dawn, she shuffled up to the guest room and hovered in the doorway, watching Emma sleep. She approached the bed cautiously and sat down on the edge, where her feet couldn't touch the floor. With gentle fingers, she pressed Emma's heart back into place, and then dropped her head to the woman's chest to listen to it tick. Tears sprang to her eyes and she snuggled herself into Emma, remembering when she had laid her head on Daniel's breast in the same way, when she was so young and desperate to have him back.

She was desperate to have Emma back, too. Back the way she once was, before everything was ruined. "Please," she whimpered, hysterical and feverish from lack of sleep. "I'm sorry. Emma, please forgive me." She rambled, incoherent and sniffling, pleading with Emma and talking in circles. "… I'm so frightened. If you knew... if you really knew, you'd leave and you'd never come back... please..."

Emma felt slightly numb without her heart. All those swirling, intense emotions were dampened but not removed. She wasn't sure what she'd expected. Emptiness, perhaps. To become hollow. Only she wasn't. No, just numb. Enough for her to actually drift into a dreamless sleep. How long for she couldn't be sure, but she woke up the instant Regina pressed her head against her chest, and the wave of fresh pain told her the woman had evidently relocated her heart back inside her chest. Emma's breath was more of a gasp as she blinked back tears and adjusted to feeling everything full force again.

Maybe it was instinctual when she heard Regina sniffle, or maybe old habits died hard, but Emma's arms wrapped around the woman's small frame and clutched her close. Even after everything she put her through, Emma couldn't bear to see Regina suffer. She loved Regina too much to ever truly want her miserable. "Shh… Shh… I've got you." Emma whispered against the woman's dark hair, and absently pulled the covers over her to cocoon them in a bubble of warmth. This was it. She could hear it in the tremble of Regina's voice, in her word choice, as if whatever secret she was keeping would send Emma right out of Storybrooke, where nobody except Henry could follow her. The truth was about to spill out and she braced herself as best she could as she clung to Regina.

"You have nothing to be afraid of, do you hear me? I'm not going anywhere," Emma whispered with conviction, and stroked slow, soothing circles up and down Regina's back. "Don't push me away any more. Just tell me, and whatever it is we can face it together. Okay? It's time, Regina, let it out… Please, let it out. Keeping it locked away is only destroying us."

"Can't," Regina gurgled back pathetically. Shaking her head in distraught refusal, she tightened her grip on Emma and buried her nose in the savior's neck, sniffling and hiccupping. "No, no… I can't! I've ruined everything! We could have been happy, but I ripped all of the happiness out of us...all of the life. Out of me, Emma. I took it away, because I was scared." Her heavy head still lay on Emma's chest, and she quieted to listen to the soft beat, though it made her ache with grief and whine piteously. "The heart… its beat, I can still feel it," she deliriously whimpered, and then she settled in, as if the nonsense she'd spoken explained everything. She hung onto Emma drowsily and in her wife's reassuring, protective embrace, she became still and peaceful.

Emma pulled Regina closer as the woman became even more distraught, and listened to everything she tried to say. "You haven't ruined everything. We can still be happy." The hushed words were fierce as she pressed her cheek against the top of Regina's head and breathed in the scent of the woman. There had been a few times when she'd witnessed Regina this way, and it was never over anything small. It worried Emma to realize she could literally hear the fear in the woman's voice, could feel it in the way her body tensed and gripped at her own. "I'm not going to run away, not from you and not from Storybrooke. I'm not that woman anymore. This is my home. You are my home."

"Mom?" Henry called out from the foot of the stairs. "I'm home. Are you up here?" He took the steps two at a time and went down the hall to the guest room. His brow furrowed in confusion and his mouth fell open in shock when he spotted his two mothers in bed together. "Moms? What's going on? Didn't you get divorced yesterday?" he asked in disbelief. "Anyway, I got a call from Grandma. She sounded like she was pretty close to tears. She asked me if I wanted to stay with her for a few days, and told me she'd come pick me up. I couldn't convince her not to come. I'll deal with her, but you two put some clothes on." He exited without waiting for an explanation, because he learned long ago that his parents were bizarre; more often than not, Regina showed Emma that she cared by arguing with her. When they were happy, their disputes rarely escalated to more than playful teasing, but they had always tried to get under each other's skin. In his mind, it made perfect sense that on the day of their divorce he'd find them in the same bed.

No sooner had Henry warned of Snow's arrival than the woman came through the front door, shouting "Emma!" At her back was a conflicted David, who frowned at his wife's rampant disregard for their daughter's independence.

"She and mom are upstairs in bed," Henry told them. "Want to go to the diner for breakfast? They could be a while. I think they're finally working it out..."

Emma's mind was racing with what little information she now had, but she was determined to figure out what had happened all those months ago. Though before she could even process the new development between them, their son burst through the door and Emma could only gawk at him as he assessed the situation and then took charge of it. Ever the little hero desperately trying to protect his family.

The second he was gone Emma shifted in bed to lay Regina down and then brushed the hair from her face. "Stay here, I'll deal with-" Snow's shriek cut her off and she cringed slightly and nodded towards the door. "We're going to get through this, together." Emma stroked her palm tenderly down Regina's cheek then pressed a tentative, soft kiss to her forehead before getting out of bed. It took her a moment to realize all her clothes were in the master bedroom and she hissed profanity under her breath before she remembered she could use magic. Rather than bring clothes to her, she pictured what she wanted to wear, and changed her outfit. In her haste out of the room, she failed to realize her shirt wasn't only on backwards, it was inside out.

"Hey mo-uh, guys." She frowned suspiciously as she caught sight of her dad and jogged down the stairs. At least her boots were on the right feet, even if the laces were untied. "What's going on?"

Mary Margaret had barely caught sight of her daughter. She was so focused on her pre-prepared speech as she turned around with, "Oh I'll tell you what's going on, you ca-"

David, who knew immediately that Emma would react badly to being told what she could do, and sensed the fight brewing, jumped in quickly with, "Your mother and I were wondering if we could talk."

Emma slowly made her way down the rest of the stairs and frowned as her son burst into laughter. "Talk about what?" She sighed out in exasperation.

"Maybe your shirt." Henry chuckled, then quickly fled outside, but not too far. He wanted to hear what was being said.

"You are in over your head with this, Emma!" Snow lectured. "And I am not going to stand by and watch you get hurt again. You've haven't tried counseling. If you plan to move back into this house, you'd better get some help, because the two of you behave like teenagers…You're both so impulsive, I never know what's going to happen. I may not look my age, but these past few days, I've felt it. I've been sick with worry for you…" Her strict mothering tone of voice seemed to intimidate even Charming, but he put a callused hand on his wife's shoulder to try to calm her down.

"I'm almost thirty-four years old!" Emma snapped back incredulously. "I get that you're concerned, but you have no right to come in here and tell me how to go about repairing my marriage." Honestly, sometimes she couldn't handle the way Snow smothered her. It was strange, still, to be lectured from her former housemate and friend.

"We aren't here to tell you what to do," David affirmed, keeping a gentle hold on his wife, in case Snow attempted to drag Emma out the front door. "But we are worried, which is why we wanted to check in, and then we'll be going right home. How are you doing? How's Regina?"

Emma cast a grateful look towards her father and even managed a slight smile.

As if on cue, Regina drifted down the staircase, without a care as to how unseemly she looked; her pajamas were wrinkled and her hair ruffled. She stood barefoot on the bottom step, gripping the railing and staring at her extended family. "We're fine," she authoritatively insisted, although she felt nauseous from giving her hasty confession. "I'm going to make Henry breakfast and put on a pot of coffee." She breezed by Emma and into the kitchen, where she cracked eggs in a frying pan and toasted slices of bread until they were browned and crisp.

"We were just talking," Emma added. "That's all," she emphasized, as Snow pointedly looked at her shirt and she finally noticed the issue. Quickly, Emma pulled it off and sorted it as Regina announced her presence and declared they were fine. More than anything, Emma wanted to believe they were, but she knew it would take time. She worried that the interruption would mean they were back to square one, and she panicked slightly because she couldn't just ask. Especially right then. She smoothed her hands down her shirt and glanced tentatively towards Regina. The woman managed to look every bit the queen she was, even with red eyes, standing in frumpy pajamas that were too big for her. Emma watched her float right by them and might have let her gaze linger. She didn't blame Regina. Even she didn't want to deal with her parents.

The night and day difference in Regina's behavior didn't sit well with Snow or David, and they exchanged a silent glance which meant they would stick around. "I wouldn't mind having a cup of coffee," David said, inviting himself to breakfast, and following Regina into the kitchen.

Without remark, Regina poured coffee into the mug Charming most often chose when he came over for breakfast in the past; she handed the drink off to him and then went about setting the table.

As David sat down with his cup of coffee, Emma tilted her head back to groan at the ceiling. Why was this happening? Couldn't her parents just leave and let them talk? Emma resisted the hissy fit as she caught sight of her son sneaking back into the house, and narrowed her eyes at him. "Eavesdropping?" She accused lightly, though she wasn't mad. If anything she actually understood where he was coming from. His family had been torn apart and now, with any luck, Emma was finally managing to stitch it back together.

Henry followed Snow into the kitchen and sat next to her so that Emma didn't have to. She gave his hair a slight tousle but didn't bother to sit down. Instead she moved to the fridge and took out the carton of half and half, and as casually as she could, made Regina a cup of coffee and then made her own. Only then did she sit down. "So, Henry said he was staying with you for a few days. Doing anything fun?" Emma knew it was a futile attempt at normal conversation, but when your mother could communicate with birds, you just had to accept that 'normal' would never last long.

"The festival is this weekend," Snow explained, as she lifted her cup of coffee to her lips. For all of her indignation and criticism, she appeared to be content to sit down as a family; she threw a few guarded glances at Regina, saw the dark circles underneath the woman's eyes, and wondered when she last slept. Emma, for her part, looked rested but on edge, as if she was afraid she'd be told to leave at any a moment's notice. "I don't for a minute think that everything is okay between you just because you're calm and sitting at the same breakfast table. You have a lot to discuss if you want to fix this. We'll be going as soon as I finish this cup of coffee, but you both need to promise me that if you need support, you'll call. I took the liberty of scheduling you a session with Dr. Hopper. Your two-year anniversary is in a week. Consider it my gift to you."

"I'd completely forgotten about the festival," Emma said to herself quietly, and as her eyes found Regina her mind offered up the brilliant idea of asking Regina to join her later, if she'd like to go with her. Whether or not she'd be rejected didn't sway her. Strained as their relationship was she understood that if she wanted to repair it, she had to start at the foundations. Perhaps, slowly and surely, she could get them back to where they once were, and a date would be a good start to show the woman she was serious about her, right? That she could do it, start all over, because Regina was worth it. They were worth it. Snow cut into Emma's thoughts and she frowned at her. How dare she book them a session with Archie. They hadn't even had the chance to broach the subject themselves. This could ruin everything. Why couldn't her mother see that? Rather than chew Snow out at the table, Emma vowed to speak to her later.

Emma was all too aware of their rapidly approaching anniversary and she licked her lips nervously as she cradled her cup of coffee between her palms. Every relationship had its ups and downs, right? But if you loved someone, you never gave up on them, especially when they'd given up on themselves. This entire time Emma had thought Regina had been punishing her, but after holding her, hearing her almost break, she was starting to think Regina had been punishing herself this whole time. Regina was the strongest person she knew, but sometimes Emma forgot under it all, she was also the most vulnerable.

"I got you a leaf blower for your anniversary," David added, to dispel some of the tension in the air.

"How thoughtful," Regina dryly replied, breaking a long and meditative silence. "David, I'll use your gift in the fall. Snow, I'll use yours when hell freezes over."

What Emma expected was an argument, but what she witnessed was a glimpse of the Regina she'd missed the past year. Laughter bubbled up and spilled from Emma's lips to land in her mug as she raised it to her lips. The corners of her eyes crinkled as she looked between Regina and her mother while she took a large gulp of the hot liquid. It burned down her throat and thawed the lingering chill of last night out of her system.

"You're welcome," Snow beamed, not for a moment fazed by how Regina accepted her present. She drained the rest of her mug, placed it in the sink, and then stopped to kiss the top of Emma's head. "We'll see you in a few days."

Henry, meanwhile, scarfed down what remained of his breakfast and plodded after Charming to the door. "Bye, moms. I'll call you later to check in."

For a moment things felt like it used to be, and Emma leaned back in her chair to smile at mother as she got up, she gave her father a nod and then without thinking she called after Henry, "Have fun kid, we love you."

Then it was just her and Regina, and suddenly Emma felt her son's age as her stomach fluttered from nerves. Her palms began to sweat and she absently wiped them down her jeans before standing up to cast a soft glance Regina's way. "I think you should go back to bed." Emma said quietly, and stuffed her hands into her back pockets because she wouldn't assume she had the permission to join. "Why don't I make us breakfast, and I'll bring yours up when it's ready?" Emma wasn't going to push for any more answers today. As far as she was concerned this morning had been a breakthrough. The first beam of light to pierce through the dark clouds that had blocked out her sun for months. "After I eat I'm…" Emma cleared her throat, cast her gaze to the wall, and shrugged slightly. "I'm going to go to Marco's to get a new beam for the headboard. It'll be good as new in an hour."

Regina deposited her mug in the sink and slipped her arms in front of her, loosely hugging her ribcage. "Yes, alright," she whispered, although previously she would never have consented to eat anything Emma prepared. She glided away from Emma and up the stairs to the bedrooms, but rather than enter the master suite, she curled up under the blankets in the guest room, where Emma had slept most of the night. With the scent of Emma all around her, she was able to keep calm long enough to rest if not to sleep; she clutched a pillow close to her chest and focused on slowing her breath, without giving in to her rising panic.

Emma might still be learning to cook full on meals but she had pancakes down. So when Regina was gone, she quickly mixed up the batter, then grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl. She sliced it thinly then cut it up so it looked almost shredded, and added it to the mix. All in all, once she'd gotten everything plated It wasn't particularly fancy. Just a couple apple pancakes and scrambled eggs, but it smelled damn good. Emma took the plate up to Regina and paused in the doorway just to look at the woman. She seemed so small under the blankets, and Emma felt momentarily helpless. "Hey, I'll leave this here for when you want it. I'll be back within the hour, okay? If you need anything I have my cell, but try to rest. I know… this morning wasn't easy for you, and I… I just want to say thank you, for trying to open up to me. You have no idea what it means to me."

Emma set the plate down on the bedside cabinet and jogged down stairs. She quickly ate her own breakfast, brushed her hair and tied her boots before grabbing her jacket and car keys and rushing outside. Ten minutes later and she was standing awkwardly inside Marco's workshop trying to explain the kind of wooden beam she needed without actually saying it was for a headboard. "Just you know, a sturdy plank of wood, maybe three or four inches wide, about this length…" Emma held her arms apart as her cheeks reddened. "Something that isn't going to break or splinter when I hammer it back into place. I only need the one..."

Old though he was, the way Marco blinked at her then nodded, well, it was clear he'd put two and two together. "Ah yes… I have some spare in the back from other things. I'll go get one, please, sit," he said with a slight nod and smile, and then vanished from sight.

Across town, Regina stared dully at the dark underside of her blanket, unwilling to budge from her safe hiding spot. Her stomach was rioting from hunger, but she when she finally sat up, she left her breakfast untouched and rushed from the bedroom. If she could only undo the wrong she had done, she would be able to live herself and save her marriage.

She moved into the hall with a rapid step, hurrying down the stairs and into her study, where she pulled out all of the spell books that had been part of her mother's estate. Paging through the tiny volumes, she earmarked all of the spells that might be helpful, but none of them stood out as a viable solution to her problem. As she tried one after the next, she realized her efforts were in vain. Her magic appeared to have deserted her in her time of need. Her frustration grew until she flung back the cover of the oldest book and began to inhale the words from the yellowed parchment. She whimpered in discomfort as the thick, purple lettering went through her nostrils and down into her throat. Her eyes darkened to a shade of violet, catching the light with their luminescent glow.

But after she started, she couldn't stop. The book, once full of flourishing script that detailed ancient incantations, emptied itself wholly into her.

Regina collapsed gasping on the floor, and pinpricks of black spotted her vision as she floundered, reaching for the cordless phone that sat on her desk. Her fingers dialed Emma's number, but she lost her grip and fell back on the floor, shutting her eyes as a wave of nausea overwhelmed her.

In Marco's woodshop, Emma was hit by a pulsing wave of magic.

Emma saw Marco return and stood up, but as she reached him a wave of dizziness struck and she felt her body tingle all over. It robbed her of her breath and she gasped sharply and pressed one hand against her forehead. "Did you feel that?" she asked, then froze, wide eyed. That… That wasn't her voice… Emma reached out to steady herself and panic erupted within her chest. Those weren't her hands... And her clothes felt incredibly restricting, especially around her shoulders. Even her toes pushed uncomfortably against the inside of her boots, like she was wearing a size too small.

Marco looked stricken, but thrust the long strip of wood into her hands. "Take it, no charge." he mumbled, because what else could he say when he just witnessed the Sheriff change before his very eyes? "Perhaps The Blue Fairy can help?" he suggested softly.

"I… I gotta go," Emma stuttered out between anxious breaths. "Don't uh, mention this to anyone, please." She added as she fled the shop and threw herself into her car. She squeezed herself into the driver's seat and winced as her knees hit the dashboard. With a quick adjust she settled in, but as the engine roared to life she caught sight of herself in the mirror and began to hyperventilate. "This can't be happening." She croaked, only her voice was deeper, husky, and she watched her Adam's apple move as she swallowed thickly. "Why is this happening?" she yelled at her mirror self, and took off down the road, completely breaking the speed limit.

The car barely stopped moving before she jumped out of it and raced towards the mansion. Regina would know what to do. Had someone cursed her? Oh shit, what if someone had cursed her? Emma swung the gate open and barely made it two steps before something grabbed her arm. "What the-" she grunted, and turned to see the hedge snake over her bicep, curling further towards her shoulder as it started to tighten like a python around her. The sharp twigs pierced her shirt and bit into her flesh and she let out a cry of protest while tugging her arm back. It felt like it was going to rip right out of the socket as she raised her left hand to claw at the plant. "Get off me you son of a bitch!" And though it wasn't rational she started to punch the part that had snared her arm, with utter disregard to how it hurt her. Between the blows and the pulling, she managed to break free and almost fell on her ass scrambling away from the damn thing.

"What the hell is happening!" she bellowed as she got to her feet and all but crashed through the front door just to slam it shut. As if somehow that would protect her, or solve the madness taking place. "Regina! Regina I need your help! Something's happened!" Blood seeped through her torn sleeve but the pain was barely registered as adrenaline spiked her bloodstream.

"What?" Regina choked out, though her strained throat was constricted and prevented her from projecting her voice; she eased up from the floor and steadied herself on the couch before attempting to hobble out of the study. "Emma, is… that you?" She went into the foyer and started at the sight of Emma's very manly appearance. The savior's snug jean pants were ripped and tattered from the sudden change in musculature, but she recognized Emma immediately. "I may have cast a spell... or two?" she guiltily admitted.

She lowered herself into a chair, overcome with dizziness from the amount of magical energy she expended. "I can undo this," she promised. "I just need to regain my strength." She sat hunched over and waited for the feeling to pass, but the longer she waited, the more drained she became. Dazed, she blinked up at Emma and weakly stretched out her hand, silently reaching for her wife.

"You cast a spell…" Emma dumbly repeated, and thumped heavily down next to Regina.

Regina leaned into her true love and found it strange to be so small in comparison. The book was very old, it wasn't supposed to do... that. I don't know why it affected you." Her hand lifted weakly to wave at the transformed woman, and she caught herself muttering, "You need a shave." The faint hint of amusement that touched her lips vanished as her eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry," Regina whispered, shifting to sit in Emma's lap and touching the savior's chin. "I can fix it once I've rested. You won't be stuck like that," she promised, the first of her tears finally spilling.

Twisted as it was a wave of relief ran through Emma as Regina settled on her lap, and she wrapped her arms around the woman's waist as she breathed out, "Oh thank Christ, I thought someone had cursed me." It was ridiculous, really, but she found herself laughing as if a weight had been lifted. It could be reversed. It was going to be okay. "Yeah along with new clothes, these are cutting into me like a bitch," she rumbled, and buried her face in dark hair to calm herself down. The conversation might have been absurd to anyone else, and later Emma would be asking why the hell Regina had been casting spells, but as Regina burst into tears she prioritized what was important, and right then it was comforting her wife.

Regina began to sob and threw her arms around Emma's neck, her tiny body heaving and trembling as she repeated, "I'm sorry… "

Emma's large hands stroked the length of Regina's back and she murmured quiet words of comfort and reassurance. Though between the gentle weight of the woman, and the movement as Regina cried, Emma shifted uncomfortably until she realized just what the hell was going on. "No, no, no, no…" She whispered to herself, and winced as the already tight fabric began to feel a little tighter. "This can't be happening," Emma blurted, and with a pained look tried to slide Regina off her lap. "I uh, I need you to let me up," she said gruffly, and finally managed to stand up, her face flushed. "New clothes," Emma stated, as if that answered for her strange behavior.

Oblivious to certain problems of Emma's new anatomy, Regina rose from the savior's lap and sniffled back the unwanted tears. "What will you wear? We have nothing in the house. You could give your father a call, but if your mother finds out, we'll never hear the end of it…"

"No!" Emma shouted, then winced at how loud her voice was. "I really don't want anyone else to know. It's bad enough I traumatized Marco… on the bright side his best friend's a shrink. There has to be something I can wear - "

Regina unbuttoned the shirt Emma was wearing and pushed it back over the savior's shoulders, revealing the broad chest that was underneath. "What about those loose sweat pants you always wear? Those might work. I'll go fetch them."

Emma released the kind of sigh typically reserved for taking her bra off at night when the shirt was pushed free. She could actually feel the circulation improve across her shoulders and under her arms. "Thank you," she sighed gratefully, and her face lit up at the mention of her sweat pants. "Yes," she agreed quickly, "Those should work."

In the past, Regina tried to get rid of the baggy pair of sweat pants, but Emma always snuck them back into the drawer, determined to keep them for lazy afternoons. She located the pants in Emma's luggage, and returned downstairs with them slung over one shoulder. "Go on then," she said, handing the sweat pants to her wife. "Would you like me to look away?"

Emma kicked off her boots and wiggled her toes. At least they weren't ruined. She just wouldn't be wearing them any time soon. Maybe her sneakers would still fit. She took the sweatpants with a slight grin, and then froze like a deer caught in headlights when Regina waited for her to change.

"Well?" Regina turned to one side to afford Emma some small bit of privacy, and sighed when the familiar tingle of her magic coursed through her fingertips. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Emma swallowed thickly, only to release a breath as she struggled out of her ripped jeans without actually looking down. As far as Emma was concerned that whole area was the new bermuda triangle, and as such, she was not going anywhere near it. Except, she realized with a strange kind of unease, she felt weird standing as a man in panties. With a grimace she shut her eyes and stepped out of them, and hurriedly pulled on her sweat pants. "So much better." Though she was unaccustomed to standing around downstairs without a top on, and while there was nothing to cover, exactly, she still folded her arms self-consciously across her chest as if she were a woman. "You can turn around now," she murmured, and wondered if she'd get used to the deepness of her voice.

"I prefer you as a woman but I would be lying if I said you weren't an attractive man. At least I didn't do anything horribly disfiguring with my magic... - oh, but it does seem you have a little problem." Regina arched a brow as she glanced down at the stiffness in Emma's sweat pants. "I suppose that is also my doing. Perhaps you should go upstairs and take care of that, dear."

Emma's brow furrowed as Regina spoke, and she followed her gaze only to cringe. "I wouldn't call that little." She muttered under breath with annoyance. Emma felt embarrassment spread across her neck like a rash, but it didn't stop her from glaring at Regina as she spat incredulously, "If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting then you're out of your damn mind."

"Well, if you have better ideas of how to get rid of that, I'll leave you to it." In a few quick strides, Regina moved off towards her study, making it clear she had no intentions of helping. "This is yet another instance in which I'm betting you wish you were a more attentive student. You could have cloaked yourself in your true form or transformed back all on your own. If I can't figure out a solution, we'll go see Rumple," she huffed.

"You can't honestly be blaming me for being stuck like this, I didn't do it!" Emma sputtered, and then let out a growl of frustration as she bent over to grab her clothes, ruined as they were, and stomped up the stairs.

Regina imagined that Rumple would be smug to see them both, coming in together and with Emma as a man; he might chauvinistically assume that this was a way she achieved sexual gratification. She sank into the leather chair behind her desk, but instead of flipping through another spell book, her fingers touched upon two small vials of clear liquid she kept stashed in the back of her drawer. She clutched the vials for a long time before she remembered what she was supposed to be doing.

With a sigh, she shoved the vial away and examined the journals filled with unusual runes and languages. After a period of fruitless searching, she went upstairs to her bedroom and called out to Emma, "I need to shower and get dressed. It seems we'll have to go see Rumple, after all. I'm not sure I'll be able to cast a spell without it having some more damning consequence."

It was incredibly uncomfortable for Emma on several different levels as she walked into the bathroom meant for guests. The sight of her reflection startled her for a split second before she realized it was her, and she glared at herself. Her face looked grizzled with blonde stubble, her strong jaw was emphasized and her features were definitely masculine. The only thing that remained the same was her eyes, and she sighed as she dropped her clothes. "I can't walk around commando," she said to herself, as if talking aloud would help her think. It didn't hurt, but in her current state it was… peculiar, to say the least. Almost like having a conversation with a stranger.

Impulsively, Emma picked up her panties and shut her eyes, focusing entirely on the fabric in her hands as she pictured what she wanted. When the familiar tingle of magic shot through her, she released a heavy breath and opened one eye to peek at the result. "So I still have magic," she breathlessly whispered. At least that was something. Regina's spell hadn't affected her powers.

Emma stepped out of her sweat pants for a second time without looking and quickly pulled on her new white cotton boxer briefs. Only then, once she was fully covered, did she glance down. She let out a strangled cry of, "Why won't you go away!" As if her new anatomy could give her all the answers. Instead it just remained there, straining against the snug fabric, but at least it was kept in place, and once she pulled her sweat pants back on, she was happy to discover it was concealed too. At least she could walk around without the added embarrassment of worrying about that.

Completely intent on ignoring it, Emma opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out some cotton pads and antiseptic liquid then turned towards the mirror. The cuts and scrapes along her arm had stopped bleeding but they looked messy regardless. Quick fingers turned on the hot water and she filled the sink before dipping a face cloth into the water. Emma washed the dried crimson of her skin then sloshed the cotton with the antiseptic liquid. The first touch caused a snarled hiss of pain to squeeze out between her clenched teeth, but she carried on until she was done. She stepped back to grab a towel to dry her arm and blinked. Could it…? She pulled the waistband of her sweat pants out and glanced down, then grinned. "Yeah you didn't like that, did you?" She said smugly, and sauntered into the bedroom just as Regina began to strip.

Regina undid the buttons on her pajama top and slipped off her flannel bottoms. "Get ready," she sighed. "I'll only be a moment in the shower and then we'll go. Rumple will know how to handle this."

"Rumple, seriously? I thought you said you could undo this?" Emma waved her arms towards herself, even as her eyes trailed down Regina's back and lingered on the shapely hips and perfect roundness of her-

The bathroom door shut with a click and Emma jolted slightly. She felt the telltale stirrings of pressure and shut her eyes. Then she groaned low in her throat like a whiny child and grimaced. "Not again!" Emma sat heavily on the edge of the bed and placed her hands on her knees. She took several deep breaths then shook her head. "Alright, let's do this."

Several minutes later and the sounds of heavy panting interspersed with the odd grunt and groan filled the bedroom. A faint sheen of sweat covered Emma's body, and she bent forward slightly with a gasp. "Just a little more…" The muscles in her arm strained and her hand threatened to cramp from her grip. "That's it…" She husked, her tone laced with excitement. Then, with a slight thrust forward, the wooden beam slotted into place and the bed frame stood proudly once again. Emma stood up and wiped her hands down her pants with a look of pride on her face, then she removed the moisture from her brow with the back of her hand. "So…" She panted quietly, and peeked inside her sweat pants again, "Manual labor kills the mood too. Good to know."

No sooner did Emma finish "killing the mood" than Regina paraded across the bedroom in nothing but a towel; she approached Emma and stood on her tiptoes to kiss the taller woman, although she hesitated for a moment, wishing that her true love was in true form. "Thank you for fixing what you broke," she murmured.

Emma understood Regina's initial reluctance to touch her. Hell, she wasn't even ready to glimpse at herself fully, she couldn't imagine how weird it must be for Regina to look at her let alone kiss her. Though she did grin brightly, a combination of being thanked, feeling proud at pleasing her wife by fixing what she could, and the kiss because that was the second in two days. With the added bonus of knowing the second one wasn't even about manipulation. Really, when there had been nothing for ten months, Emma saw it only as a good sign. "I know you adored that headboard." Emma mumbled softly as if to explain her actions. "I'll paint it to match the rest later, but for now at least it's back in one piece."

"I appreciate it," Regina breathed. "And I'm going to try to do the same with our relationship. I'm hoping there's a way to repair it, in spite of what I've done. If in the end you don't forgive me..." She let her voice fade, unable to consider what the consequences would be; she needn't know what the future would bring to guess that she'd act drastically and on impulse, but she wanted to believe that she would be capable of overcoming instinct, in favor of embracing rationality.

Regina looped her arms around Emma and hung on, staring deeply into Emma's eyes.

As Regina's arms secured around the savior, and the fresh scents of soap that clung to her skin invaded her senses and Emma couldn't help the way she inhaled deeply. "Hey…" Emma's voice was a low, husky rumble as she bent forward to wrap her arms around the small woman and pull her close; it felt strange to have Regina pressed against her muscled chest, even though it felt like the most natural thing in the world to be holding her. "I might not know what's happened but I do know part of being human is doing some extreme things when we're afraid. I mean, we've all done things we aren't proud of, but it's not what defines us, it's what we choose to do after them. Right? And you, choosing to try and fix this, trying to open up to me? That's what counts, Regina."

Regina's eyes were soft and full of doubt, but she shut them and concentrated on the comfort of being in Emma's arms. She wanted to believe Emma, but how could she when the savior didn't have the whole story?


	5. Chapter 5

Emma lowered her head to rest her chin on Regina's shoulder as they embraced, and tried not to nuzzle because she knew the stubble would irritate the woman's skin. "I can't promise you that I wont be upset at first, or that I won't need time." She whispered, then sighed softly. "Because I don't know what the big secret is, but I can promise you that I will try to be understanding and open minded. Okay? No running away. We fix this together, as a team." She'd fought a damn dragon, they'd jumped worlds with beans for fucks sake, they literally moved the heavens to block out the moon. Together they could do anything. Even get past whatever had happened.

Regina winced as she withdrew from Emma, uncertain that the savior would come through on her promises. She went over to her closet to find a turtleneck and a pair of slacks.

Outside, a light dusting of snow covered the ground, and if she meant to go consult with Rumple, there were two reasons to avoid her usual plunging necklines: foremost, the cold, and secondly, her wife's insatiable libido, further complicated by the fact that Emma appeared to be uncomfortably and now visibly aroused.

"I'm going to change now. You can watch if you like, but I'm not sure I would be doing you any favors," Regina remarked, then quietly added, "Unless you would like me to do you a favor, but I think that's off the table for now."

Given the delicacy of their relationship, sleeping together would be unwise; but if this happened in better times, Regina would have agreed to help with Emma's needs, since underneath it all, she loved Emma for who she was and what she identified as - a strong and independent woman. Not that she would have despised Emma if the savior had been born a man or had chosen to be one, but she'd never given it much thought before.

Emma only gaped at Regina and blinked.

"I…" Seriously, why did knowing she could watch thrill her so much? Emma shook her head and focused on the rest of what was said, and frowned down at herself in frustration. "Are you kidding me?" She hissed, and though it wasn't that obvious through her pants, she could feel the difference. "You…" Emma swallowed thickly and arched her eyebrows in surprised bewilderment. "Uh, no, you're right, you don't have to do that."

Before her new anatomy could protest, she announced quickly, "I'm going to make us some coffee." Then vanished out of the room like a bat out of hell.

Regina glanced back at Emma's retreating figure, and absently ran her hand from her sternum down to her waist as she stood dressing in front of her floor length mirror. She put on her turtleneck and slacks, and examined her appearance, suddenly relieved that Emma denied her after all. She knew that taking such a major step would involve having a discussion, either beforehand or afterwards, and she wasn't ready to talk. There was too much to explain, too many nuances to what she had done, and too much history that she would rather forget.

True to her word, Emma did indeed put on a pot of coffee. Then she ventured outside to stand in the freezing cold. Snow crunched under her boots, and her arms instinctively wrapped around her midsection as her skin prickled with goosebumps, but she refused to go back inside so soon. It didn't take very long for the blood to circulate elsewhere as she began to shiver, and Emma let out a thankful sigh.

Regina stared into her own hollow eyes, not for the first time feeling as though she was facing her own worst enemy in the mirror. With a sigh, she left the room and went downstairs, where she saw Emma from the window; she threw on her overcoat, grabbed a blanket and went outside. "What are you doing out here without your shirt on? Are you alright?"

Emma was several steps from the back door when it opened, and though she was surprised to see Regina and the blanket she carried, she didn't comment on it. Instead she shrugged lightly and inhaled a deep breath. "Just getting some fresh air while waiting on the coffee," she rumbled softly with a slight smile. "I'm fine, but I do need to find something to wear." Emma arched her eyebrows slightly as she ushered Regina back into the kitchen and shut the door. "Do you mind pouring me a cup while I find something?"

There were plenty of tank tops and sleeveless shirts to choose from, Emma realized minutes later as she glanced over her clothes, but they weren't suitable to wear alone in the winter months. The sweater she tried on just wouldn't fit her shoulders, and the one that did? Couldn't stretch around her biceps. On the bright side her old sneakers fit like a glove. It took her a moment before she realized she could use magic, and rather than toss out her ripped shirt, she mended it to fit her new measurements. Emma quickly pulled on a black tank top which, admittedly, fit rather snugly but she couldn't deny the extra muscles weren't half bad. Emma brushed her short hair with her fingers then pulled on her shirt. Careful fingers buttoned it as she jogged back down the stairs.

Regina poured a tall mug of steaming, black coffee and used the hot drink to warm her hands. She went into the living room, set the mug on the low table and took a seat to wait for Emma. As soon as Emma came into view, she stood up, handed over the coffee and watched as Emma took her first sip of the scalding coffee. "It would be faster if you drank that in the car. I know you'd rather not go out in this condition, but no one has to know, except you, me and Rumple."

The grimace Emma wore had nothing to do with the coffee and everything to do with the notion of leaving the house. "Yeah, about that, can't you just call him and have him stop by?" The slightly hopeful look on her face changed to puzzled as she tilted her head slightly to look at Regina. "Everyone will know if I go outside. Storybrooke doesn't get visitors. Unless you mean you can use a spell to glamor me so that everyone else sees the real me instead of this me?" The idea of more magic made her uncomfortable but not nearly as much as being seen by her son, or Ruby, for that matter. The waitress would never let her live it down.

"He's annoyed with me," Regina huffed. "He won't even answer his cell phone, not that he really knows how to use it. The Evil Genius can't even handle speed dial." She started to bundle up only after Emma finished downing the coffee; she put her coat back on and wrapped her scarf snugly around her throat. "First of all, I'm not even sure it's possible to put a glamor on you. And second, I'm not going to use more magic, on the off chance that I might permanently alter you in some way. My magic isn't functioning as it should be right now. I can feel it. And don't even think of suggesting that I go alone to Rumple's, because he won't be interested in helping me…"

"Yeah, no. I don't want to be permanently altered." Up until that point Emma had been pretty easygoing with the change because she knew it would be fixed, but if Regina couldn't do it then Rumple really was their only hope. "I wasn't going to suggest that." Emma retorted with the kind of attitude that better suited a teenager. Damn right she was going to suggest it! Except now she couldn't. "Well can't we go later, you know, when it's dark outside?" When people were likely tucked away in the warmth of their homes, eating or catching up with people after work. That perfect time of day when the streets were vacant.

"Just who do you think is going to recognize you when you look like that?" Regina asked in exasperation. "You can hide in the backseat, if it helps." She grabbed Emma by the elbow and attempted to drag the savior up from the couch, but to no avail. "I feel like I'm dealing with Henry right now, only bigger and stronger. Please get up and let's go." She moved towards the door, giving up her pointless efforts and trying to think of better persuasion tactics. "If you go out and warm up the car, I'll make your favorite for dinner tonight, and I'll even let you eat in the living room in front of the television."

"Well I don't know…" Emma mumbled and crossed her arms huffily. It amused her to see Regina try to man handle her up, especially when she leaned her weight back against the couch like a stubborn dog refusing to go for a walk in the rain. "I really don't want to." Emma grunted, and she didn't care how she looked as she jutted her chin out. Confident in the fact that she'd made her point, Emma faltered at the mention of Regina cooking for her, and hummed low in her throat at the bride. Dinner and free reign to watch anything she wanted as she ate? That was the kind of special privilege she just couldn't allow herself to pass up. With a heavy sigh, Emma pushed herself up and declared dramatically, "Fine, but I want dessert too."

"Then dessert you shall have," Regina purred at Emma, then gave her a scrunchy-faced smirk, and reached out to touch a muscular bicep, gently squeezing in mocking encouragement. " I thought I turned you into a man, not a three year old."

Emma rolled her eyes and held her hand out for the cars keys. Then, with a slow, deep breath, she opened the front door and wandered towards the Mercedes. Except, she never quite reached it. Ten feet from the car, Emma let out a roar of surprise and fear as the tree closest reached forward and snared her around the waist. Her flailing stopped only when the branches fully restrained her, at least twenty feet in the air.

The only thing that had stopped Emma from screaming had been Regina's parting words as she left the house. She wouldn't ever consider herself easily manipulated, but Regina had a way of subtly getting into her mind. No, she wouldn't scream, but she would snarl like a trapped animal, viciously trying to get free. The more she struggled, the more the tree reacted. "When I get down from here…" Emma vowed darkly to the branches wrapped around her, "I'm going to get a chainsaw, to cut you down."

Regina had lingered in the foyer to fix her hair, but when she heard the noise from outside, she rushed down the front walkway without bothering to close the door behind her. She gaped up at the tree that was shaking Emma around like a maraca. "No... no! Stop this!" she yelled at the branches, but when she got closer, they obediently lowered Emma to her level, though they continued to hold on to their victim. "Are you hurt?"

In all honesty, Emma wasn't sure if the tree began to lower her first, or if she heard Regina first. Either way, relief washed through her veins but she wore annoyance like a new fragrance once her feet touched the ground and the branches remained around her. "Only if you count my pride," Emma muttered, then shook her head. "I was hurt worse by the hedge, but that was when I was trying to get in." The calmness she projected threatened to crumble, but Emma squared her shoulders as best she could and quietly demanded, "What the hell is going on? Why is the foliage attacking me?"

"Did you start threatening it before or after it scooped you up?" Regina delicately touched sap on the tree branch, where it looked as though the oak was breaking into a sweat from all of its vengeful exertions. "The trees here are connected to me... but I'm not sure why this one attacked you."

"Yeah, I came out here and decided to just trash talk it for kicks as I walked on by," Emma said dryly, since she couldn't quite believe that Regina was even asking. However, the scowl on her face softened as watched Regina inspect the tree. "That stuff better not be on me or I'm serious about that chainsaw." She'd like to keep her clothes from looking like hand-me-downs that had been dragged through a bush. It was bad enough she was a man, she didn't want to look like a filthy one on top of it.

Regina picked a broken twig out of Emma's short hair, and gingerly wiped some dirt from the savior's nose and masculine jaw. "I suppose it's always been temperamental." She mused quietly. The tree released Emma then, and stood up to its full height, as if offended by Regina's choice of words. "Perhaps it was just trying to keep you from leaving," she frowned, and bent down to help Emma up from where she had tumbled onto the pavement. "The sooner we go see Rumple, the better."

Whatever snark Emma might have been about to say died on her tongue as Regina rubbed dirt off her face and cleaned her up a bit. It was silly, really, how such a simple, almost insignificant act showed tenderness. "Well it's not the boss of me." She sucked in a deep breath as the tree righted itself and she turned to flip it off even though it couldn't see her. Emma paused with a perplexed look on her face, then shook her head. "I'm arguing with a damn tree. Well, now that I'm pissed, yeah, let's go see Rumple." The agreement was settled with a nod as Emma stalked towards Regina's car. "If he doesn't have answers, he'll at least have shears."

The tree batted at the back of Emma's head as soon as Regina moved off in the other direction and couldn't see the attack take place.

The smack to the back of her head made Emma stumble forward slightly, and she spun quickly to watch the branch retreat with her teeth clenched. "Oh, you're going to regret that…" She seethed quietly so that Regina wouldn't know, and stomped off after Regina as she rubbed the back of her head to soothe the sting.

"I planted most of these trees myself," Regina sighed. "I've always thought of them as my protectors." She opened the back door for Emma and then got into the driver's seat, where it was already warm and toasty. "Perhaps, if he can't change you back, he can use the shears you mentioned to give you a trim. Your five o'clock shadow is already coming in - " She regarded Emma in the rearview mirror as she backed out of the driveway.

The quip about facial hair evoked a glare from Emma. Though as Regina drove, she found herself looking in the mirror as she ran her fingers across the underside of her jaw and down her cheeks. Well, maybe there was truth to that statement after all. "If Rumple can't fix this…" Emma paused, because she hadn't thought very far ahead, beyond the knowledge that it could be reversed. "Then I'll shave when I get home," she finished moodily.

When they arrived at the pawnshop, Emma sat quietly and looked around to make sure nobody was around, then husked softly, "Okay, let's get this over with so we can go back home." With a slight push, she opened the door and stepped outside, then absently held the door for Regina as she breathed in cold winter air.

With her shoulders held high, Regina entered the shop and stalked towards the glass counter where Rumple sat in the midst of bookkeeping; all he needed was a quick glance at the look on Regina's face to know she wouldn't be turned away. "What is it now, dearie? I gave you my advice, and you chose not to listen. It saddens me. You decided to act without consulting your wife, and so prematurely at that..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Emma stated from behind Regina, and stepped to the side so she could eye Rumple suspiciously.

Regina slammed her hand down in front of Rumple to shut him up; he hadn't realized there was a man standing awkwardly behind his bad-tempered pupil.

The sound of Regina's palm against the counter echoed around the room and despite her size, Emma tensed, only to frown and sigh when Rumple began looking her over.

He cleaned his glasses and then squinted at the stranger, taken aback by how much he resembled Emma; then he burst out laughing and slapped his knee in amusement. "Is that who I think it is? How did this happen?"

Dread washed through Emma's system, and even as Rumple asked, Emma groaned.

"A book," Regina spat, gripping the showcase hard enough to turn her knuckles white. "It was among the magical artifacts in my mother's estate. It's several centuries old. I started to cast a spell, and before I knew it, all of the pages were empty."

"Nobody will know it's you, she said. Who would recognize you, she said." Clearly in a state of mixed anxiety and aggravation, Emma began to pace back and forth as she absently scratched at her stubble. If Rumple could see it was her chances were so could everyone else. Unless, he took a guess based on Regina's urgent mood? One glance towards Rumple and Emma knew it had nothing to do with that. "Look can we make this quick? I don't want to walk outside for everyone else to see me and know it's me."

"Quick? I'm afraid not. What do you mean, all of the pages?" Rumple's sense of humor drained from him along with the color in his face as he stood up to look between the two women. Well, former woman and former student. "Do you remember anything at all about what that book contained? I'll need to see it, of course, in order to understand what kind of mess you've made. Need I remind you that all magic comes with a price? I'd have thought you would have learned that already. Yet here we are again… Old habits certainly do die hard, don't they?"

Emma bristled instantly, her feet carried her to the desk in three strides and this time it was her palm that struck the counter with a bang. "Hey, you do not talk to her like that," she all but shouted, and the look on her face was almost a dare. "Can you change me back or not?" she spat.

Rumple waved his hand, both to silence Emma and to return her to true form, but his magic fizzled and popped with no more power than a dud firework. He gritted his teeth together in anger and spun towards Regina, who was standing behind Emma with her head down. "This is not a simple glamor," he grunted. "What did you do?"

"I don't know," Regina caustically replied, chopping her hand in the air to emphasize each word. "The spell book wasn't one of yours. I'm not sure where my mother got it… or what else has been affected by the magic that came from it."

"There are certain spells that can only be undone by the caster or the one afflicted," Rumple huffed. "My magic will do nothing to solve your problems. You will have to work this one out between the two of you."

Alarmed by the fact that Rumple, The Dark One, couldn't fix her either, Emma's wide eyes turned slightly glassy as saltwater filled them. Though she shook her head, blinked it away, and fought the rising panic like a surfer about to get wiped out. "So if your magic doesn't work, and Regina's is acting strange, what you're really saying is I haveto work it out?"

Jesus, that was daunting. She could do basic stuff, some cool stuff, but when it came to big stuff? More often than not it was a combination of her own magic infused with Regina's that got the job done. Their own combined power. Regina had the skill and Emma? Well she was like the energy source. This wasn't meant to happen. She wasn't meant to be stuck like this. Oh god, why was she stuck like this? How long could it possibly last? How was she meant to do her job, see her family, live? "It's temporary right, maybe it'll wear off, like a twenty-four hour thing?" she suggested hysterically.

Rumple's face softened as he took in the sight of Emma's waxy complexion, her anxiety plain as day on her masculine face. "I wouldn't count on it. Magic isn't like a common cold. Your immune system isn't going to fight it. You can't just sweat it out."

"So what are you saying, I could be stuck like this indefinitely?" Emma hadn't meant to shout, but her voice rose along with her panic and she almost looked crazed. "Why is this happening to me?"

Regina placed her hand on Emma's shoulder in reassurance; she was responsible for the savior's current state and wished her magic would cooperate long enough to reverse her incantation. "I will be able to fix this. Right now my energies are depleted, but time will restore them. It may take a week or two..."

"A week or two? So, I'm having a what, mancation? You need to tell everyone I'm sick, I can't be seen like this, if he knew it was me everyone else will!" Two weeks? She hated the idea of having to shower, use the bathroom, shave her face instead of her legs (actually that didn't seem like such a bad trade off) - but everything else? Emma sucked in a slow deep breath and tried to find comfort in Regina's hand on her shoulder.

Regina's lips puckered in a wince. "I will fix this, and let me worry about how to deal with everyone. In the meantime, you can pick up where you left off with your magic training. Even if you aren't able to change yourself back, it's important that you learn how to control your magic in the long run. You've wholly neglected your studies over the past few years."

"Yeah well, the past year wasn't exactly like you wanted me around, figured that applied to magic lessons as well as everything else," Emma muttered under her breath.

Rumple tapped his cane on the floor and then sat behind his register, glaring at his own student of magic. "Perhaps if you focused on teaching her, you wouldn't have run into the trouble you did, dearie. The predicament that almost ended your marriage could have most certainly been prevented if she had better control over her... gifts."

Rumple's words caught Emma's attention and her head snapped up to direct her piercing gaze towards him. "What predicament?" Emma's jaw tensed as she turned to frown at Regina, and then back to Rumple. "Are you saying that our marriage falling apart was my fault because I'm a novice at magic?" Emma laughed, actually laughed, because she felt like she was losing her mind. Trapped in a nightmare she couldn't wake up from. "So what did I do, huh? Because I don't remember screwing anything up with my gifts," she seethed. It felt like Rumple was judging her, and Emma was instantly defensive. "My attempts at cooking, maybe-"

"Screwing up?" Rumple sniggered, as if enjoying a private joke. "If only you knew. But it's up to your... a-ha - wife to enlighten you. Don't look to me for answers, though I am glad the two of you are working on resolving your differences." He strolled off into the back room, leaving Regina to her task of dealing with the impossible savior.

"You're lucky you're Henry's grandfather," Emma grumbled as Rumple walked off, and she narrowed her eyes as she watched him go. Rumple was a bastard, but he'd grown on her, and whether she liked to admit it or not she knew he liked her too. They were family.

"Just ignore him," Regina commanded. "He has no idea what he's talking about." She latched onto Emma's arm and tried to direct her to the door, although pushing and pulling were ineffectual. "And when did you ever cook? Burning toast and microwavable popcorn does not count. Let's go back to the house," Regina suggested. "I'll call your father and ask him to step in as acting sheriff while you... recover. But you know your parents will want to see you before the weekend is over. Otherwise, they'll think I've buried you underneath my apple tree-"

"You know, I'm getting really sick of being shut out of the loop, does he know what happened? Am I the only one who doesn't?" Emma ignored Regina's attempts to change the subject and refused to move. Perhaps the added weight of muscle and bone wasn't entirely bad if it meant she could stand rooted to the spot as the woman tried to drag her along. "I tried to cook!" Emma snapped back, "You banned me from it! And anyway, the breakfast I made you this morning was fine, did you even try it?"

"I was worried and lost my appetite." Regina tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear and refused to meet Emma's eyes. "Please notify your parents."

"I'll text David and tell him I'm taking this week off to work things out with you, and I'll ask him to keep Snow out of our way. Might have to bribe her by agreeing to go see Archie but it'll buy us time." Emma rubbed her palm across her grizzled cheek and let out a huff of breath. "If I'm stuck like this for two weeks I need to buy things, like a better razor or else I'll shred my face off. I also need underwear. Actually, clothes in general, because I am not changing all of mine, and beer, because I could really use a drink."

With that said Emma pointedly looked at Regina, and then made her way back outside. The slightest flurry of snow had begun again and she crunched her way across it to slip into the passenger side of Regina's car.

Regina followed with her hands thrust deep in her pockets and her head down. "We'll stop at the store on the way home and I'll get you whatever you need."

Not only did Regina buy the beer and razor blades, but she also picked up Emma's favorite foods to snack on, the toothpaste that Emma preferred, and a few other treats and surprises that she hoped would distract the savior from the subject that she was terrified of discussing. "Tomorrow I'll go shopping for clothes. It won't be hard to figure out what styles will look good, considering you've always dressed rather like your father..." She parked in the driveway and then went up the walkway, carrying the bags from the town drug store.

Emma got of the car and glared at the tree as she walked by it, in return it rustled its leaves, and she growled low in her throat. Oh, she was this close to taking an axe to it. Though she new her anger was misplaced, and formed from fear and frustration due to the new body she currently wore like a suit.

"Go and relax," Regina instructed. "I'll bring you a cold beer?"

"Okay," Emma grunted at Regina, and wandered into the living room after she kicked her boots off. When she sank heavily into the couch she tried to force herself to relax, but she couldn't. So she did the next best thing, and grabbed the remote for the television. Typically she'd watch survival shows, sports, wildlife programs or movies. Right now though she found herself flicking past the usual things that brought her distraction and settled instead on one of the UFC matches. Two grown men beating the shit out of each other while locked in a cage was exactly what she needed. If she couldn't scream and fight herself, she'd just have to watch them go at it.

In a hurry, Regina disappeared into the kitchen and slipped on her apron - she diced up tomatoes and avocados to make a quick dip, then put together a plate with chips and popped the cap on a cold beer. With all of the refreshments in hand, she headed into the living room, prepared to turn around and begin cooking the dinner.

The sight of Regina in an apron momentarily caught Emma's attention and she took the beer and the plate of chips and dip with a grateful sigh of, "Thanks." That was all she managed to say before her thirst won out, and she tipped her head back to chug most of the bottle without stopping to breathe. She felt a droplet of liquid run down her chin and she wiped it with the back of her hand as Regina sat down.

Regina hadn't realized she was sitting, but before she knew it, her hand found a resting spot on the savior's thigh and she whispered out, "I'm still not ready to talk about it. I don't even know where to begin, quite frankly. But this is a good place to start… It would be nice to spend an evening together without fighting."

Emma's frustration threatened to flare but she couldn't find it within herself to get pissed off when Regina was at least trying to be honest with how she felt. "Maybe you're right," she rumbled instead, and let her gaze land on Regina. "A nice evening together might be a good start." It couldn't hurt, that was for damn sure.

Emma set her bottle on the table, making sure it landed on a coaster, and then offered the plate to Regina with a casual, "Want to share?" as her gaze landed back on the television.

"UFC fighting?" Regina frowned. "I see you've made the total transformation." She sensed the warring emotions in Emma, saw it on her face, and released a breath she didn't know she had been holding. Nevertheless, she settled herself against Emma and tried to find a comfortable spot.

Regina leaned forward and took a swig of the beer. The drink had a bitter, unpleasant taste, but she wanted to be numb to the edge of fear that she felt serrating her. She slipped her hand into Emma's as they sat together, and pulled a throw blanket around them. "It wasn't your fault," she told Emma. "I just want you to know that. All of this time you've been blaming yourself and it wasn't you."

"I've done some terrible things, but this was the worst of all," she sighed out, then handed off the beer to the man who was so close to her; his hair smelled like Emma, but the coarse stubble on his chin rubbed her skin raw when she reached out to touch it lightly with her fingertips.

Truth be told, Emma wasn't entirely sure how to respond to the little nuggets of truth Regina kept offering her. On one hand she felt intense relief to know she hadn't done something wrong, because if she had, and couldn't even work out what it had been, what the hell kind of person did that make her? On the other hand… "When you say stuff like that, it frightens me."

It wasn't an easy thing to admit. All the years she'd known Regina she'd never once looked at her and saw The Evil Queen. She was always, and would always be, Regina to her. That didn't mean she was ignorant of what she'd done back in her land. On the contrary, she was fully aware, and that was why Regina's warnings scared her. If a woman who had slaughtered en masse thought whatever she'd done was the worst thing she'd ever done, then it must be something heinous.

With anxiety in her chest, and her eyebrows knitted in thought, Regina stared at the television and saw nothing. Emma's confession stole her breath away, but she needed to be level headed if she was ever to discuss what happened. "What do you want to do tonight?" she whispered. "I'm going to make dinner and then pop in the shower. I didn't have much time earlier and I now smell like avocados. "

"I'm not sure, maybe we could watch a movie or something?" Emma said offhandedly, because it had been so long since she'd actually been welcomed or wanted in the house that she was unsure what they could do together.

Regina gave a slow nod and a half smile, and as promised, went off to make dinner - all of Emma's favorite comfort foods, including tiny grilled cheese sandwiches, baked macaroni and cheese, chicken smothered in barbecue sauce, and apple turnovers served with vanilla ice cream. "Everything you love," she said, as she set down two plates in front of Emma.

Emma had finished off another two beers and was encouraging one guy to hit the other as she leaned forward to rest her elbows on her thighs. However she sat up straight as soon as Regina walked in and gawked at the two plates of food. It was on the tip of her tongue to say she'd never finish it all but as Regina said those three simple words, she silently vowed that she'd try. "Yeah…" she whispered back, but her gaze was locked on Regina's, and it was clear she wasn't talking about the meals the woman had made. Everything she loved was standing right in front of her.

"I'll leave you to it, then," Regina smiled warmly. "I'm going to get into the shower, or I'll smell like cheese and spices all night long."

"You know there are worse things to smell like…" Even as Emma said it, she knew Regina would roll her eyes.

Regina did indeed spare a moment to roll her eyes, and then hurried off to tend to her needs, while Emma bit into her first bite of gooey grilled cheese.

Her appetite had always been healthy. She could pack away food like a bear about to hibernate, but Jesus Christ, she couldn't get over how fast she devoured everything, even when all that was left were the plates.

"I'm a bottomless pit," Emma said to herself, then took the dishes into the kitchen and washed them all, including the pots and pans Regina had used, because it was only fair. Then, with a rather loud belch that she was secretly proud of, Emma grabbed the only plate she hadn't washed, and added a scoop of ice cream to it. With her dessert in hand, she returned to the living room to wait for Regina.

When Regina sat down next to her, Emma was lost in thought, her fingers running along the stubble of her chin. Regina was wearing a robe, a towel wrapped around her hair, and a confused expression. 

Emma snapped out of her daze and handed Regina her plate, with half an apple turnover on it and the scoop of ice cream. "I saved you some," she said with a slightly bashful look, then cleared her throat. "Dinner was fantastic, and the dishes are all done. I'll be back in ten minutes. Time to get rid of this." Emma pointed to the hair on her face with a slightly perplexed look.

True to her word, she returned ten minutes later, with only a few tiny cuts to her cheeks and chin, but at least her face didn't feel like sandpaper any more.

While Emma went to take care of her own evening routine, Regina sampled the ice cream and relished the tart but sweet taste of her apples, spiced with cinnamon and ginger; she had a spoon in her mouth when Emma returned from shaving, but she put it aside.

Both of her hands roamed, touching Emma's fresh face, and her lips hovered a scant inch away from her lover's soft pout. She stole a kiss, and her cold fingers trailed from the underside of Emma's chin all the way down to her rock hard chest, hidden under flannel. Without invitation, she slid onto Emma's lap and undid the towel that secured her hair, then shook out her dark locks.

Laughter quietly bubbled up Emma's throat as Regina leaned in to feel the smoothness of her face. "Not gonna lie, I think I stood for two minutes just touching my face after I shaved." That was a weird thing to say aloud, but no weirder than the fact that she had practiced first by shaving her chest, because there was no way she'd be able to feel normal if she had to look at it every morning when she woke up. The idea of hair poking through her shirt was equally jarring, so it had to go. Now she felt more comfortable in her skin. Well, new form, really. She returned the chaste kiss and let out a slow breath as Regina's hands slid across her shirt. It was hypnotizing, really, the way Regina shook her hair out and how the fresh scents that clung to her engulfed Emma's senses.

Regina's eyes were blacker than a moonless night, and her lids were heavy with curiosity. "You... smell the same. Even if you look different." She laid her head on Emma's shoulder and listened to the tick of the savior's heartbeat.

For a second Emma couldn't find her voice, and so she nodded instead as her hands moved to the small of Regina's back. "Good to know something hasn't changed." She murmured back, and the corners of her mouth tugged into an almost lazy grin. As Regina pressed her cheek against her shoulder, Emma leaned back and brought one hand up to splay between Regina's shoulder blades.

"If I'm making you uncomfortable, I can sit on the far end of the couch," Regina quietly offered.

Emma's fingers absently massaged across the fabric of Regina's robe as she stated, "I'm fine, you can stay where you are. Have you thought about what kind of movie you want to watch?" Given that she'd had free reign all day with the television, the least she could do was let Regina pick something.

Regina raked her fingers through Emma's cropped, sandy hair and expressed little interest in the prospect of choosing a film to watch. She took the remote because Emma expected her to make the selection, but all she did was press a button at random and let fate decide. "This…seems alright," she muttered noncommittally and lowered her head back to Emma's shoulder.

"Yeah," Emma agreed quietly, despite the fact that her eyes were shut as she enjoyed the light scritching of nails against her scalp. Though she wouldn't say it first, she had missed this. The comfortable way they fit together, how everything felt right again just because her arms were around Regina. It made her feel strong, like she could do anything, while at the same time she felt vulnerable, raw and exposed, as if someone had stolen the top layers of her skin.

Emma's palm began to rub slow, warm circles against the soft fabric covering Regina's shoulders, and she knew the heat would transfer through to the smaller woman as she lowered her chin to rest lightly against Regina's damp hair.

With Emma's hand on her back, Regina allowed herself to fully relax for the first time since the incident that had torn them apart; her muscles unwound and she became soft, pliant in Emma's arms. Hard to believe that the night before, she would have done anything to get Emma to leave their home.

"Were you ever unhappy in our marriage? Before... everything changed between us." Regina warmed her freezing hands underneath Emma's shirt - she had a hotter temper than the savior, but Emma's blood ran hotter than hers, and she was feeling a bit chilly. When she glanced back at the screen, she realized she had chosen a comedy that Emma and Henry watched together in the past, but Emma didn't seem to be paying much attention to the television.

"Not for a second." Emma's response was honest and automatic, though her breath hitched at the sudden sensation caused by cold hands pressed against her stomach. After the initial shiver, she grew accustomed to the feeling and carried on. "I saw us growing old together. Raising Henry to be a good man, sending him off to college, driving you crazy by messing with you when he's out of the house. I saw us hosting dinners for our family and friends, laughing over all the shit we'd been through, and embracing the fact that had it not went down the way it did, none of us would be here right now, you know? I saw us camping, and swimming in the lakes at night like a couple of teenagers, having midnight picnics. Probably getting shit from Ruby if she'd caught us under the full moon. I saw us tackling any problem life threw at us. I guess what I'm trying to say is I saw us being happy." Emma paused to nuzzle against Regina's damp hair and whispered softly, "I still do."

"You do?" Regina rarely thought that far ahead, but as she listened to Emma describe their future together, she decided wholeheartedly that she wanted that life and that she'd never have it. She'd gone too far in keeping her secret, and had violated Emma's trust in ways Emma might never forgive. "I was pregnant." She tearfully spluttered. Her shoulders shook violently from the rashly made declaration, and then she withdrew from Emma, climbing off the savior's lap as fast as she could manage.

"You were what?" Emma whispered, but Regina rushed away in tears and she was sitting alone by the time she got the words out. The warmth and comfort she'd felt moments before had been replaced with a coldness that left goose bumps on her skin. Regina had been pregnant? "How?" she spat out, then doubled over to grip the back of her head as she pressed her face against her knees, a mixture of anger jealousy roaring to life as she thought of someone else touching Regina. Who the hell was he? Did she see him every day? Had she terminated when she realized or had she… Lost it… Oh god, had she wanted to keep it?

Regina ran up the stairs to shut herself in her room, where she sat hunched over in bed. Tears rolled down her cheeks and bathed her neck; she choked on the salty drops and the aching sobs that filled her belly and mouth, cries that made her teeth chatter and all of the blood rush to her face. She held a pillow, but her arms were too weak to clutch it and she let it go.

The power flickered and went out, but whether from the storm outside or from her magic, she didn't know. In the darkness, she was still and quiet. Her tears came in a silent gush.

Emma got to her feet and took the stairs three at a time as the power cut out, but as her anger threatened to consume her, she faltered.

Regina had not lied when she'd stated she'd never slept with anyone else last night. Which could only mean one thing… And Emma wasn't sure if she knew what it was.

Perplexed and shaken, Emma opened the bedroom door and closed it quietly behind her. "Regina…" Emma's voice was barely audible. "How is that possible?"

All of the little comments from Rumple, everything that Regina had said that morning, swirled around in her mind until- oh fuck… Oh fuck!

Emma swallowed thickly, and blindly reached out to grab onto the bedside cabinet. "M-my magic?"

The snowstorm brought a gusty breeze along with it, and the branches of the enchanted tree scratched at the window, as if asking to come in from the cold. "It must have been the weekend we went away to Boston," Regina sniffed. "Do you remember?"

The weight of Regina's words were staggering. Emma swallowed thickly as she remembered their trip. It had been there one year anniversary. They'd been so in love, so wrapped up in one another, a family. Brief flickers of memory, of how she felt during their first night as they'd celebrated their love by making it. "Yes." It was barely a sound let alone a word. She sank heavily onto the bed without even trying to steady herself as a heavy numbness took hold, and she tried to process it all.

Regina shut her eyes tightly against a fresh flood of tears, although it made no difference, given that the room around them was pitch black. She reached out for Emma and her hand clutched the savior's loosely, gathering strength from it. "I didn't realize at first," she rasped out. "I kept getting sick, but why would I assume I was pregnant? It wasn't until a few months later that I found out. Rumple told me we were expecting, and he warned me that the pregnancy could have unforeseen consequences."

She didn't know how to continue, but her voice picked up momentum like the wind, and she groaned out, "I Killed Her. Out of fear. I didn't even think about it. I just acted…"

Her hand fell away from Emma, and then she curled in on herself and wept.

"Rumple knew this whole time?" Emma frowned. "Am I that unapproachable?" Would she have stopped Regina, if she had known? Wasn't it the woman's choice whether or not to keep the child? Emma believed so, hell, she'd given her own child up for adoption, she'd been there with fear, and that was without the added complication of magic.

Irrational perhaps, but knowing that he knew, while she'd spent months in the dark, it felt like a knife to the gut. "Fear?" Emma's mind was struggling to comprehend everything, and though it was pitch black, she still turned to face Regina as she asked in a broken whisper, "Her?" How did Regina know that? Did she get an ultrasound? Was it just a feeling? Emma's breaths were shallow and fast, and though she understood that she was starting to hyperventilate, she couldn't seem to control it.

She needed to think. She needed to work out her emotions. She needed Regina. Emma curled up on her side and wrapped her arm around the tiny woman to pull her closer, desperate for comfort as much as contact.

Emma held onto to Regina as she tried to breathe, and out of all the important questions, the only one that left her mouth was the most absurd. "But... How? Does that mean I need to wear latex gloves when we have... ?"

Regina let out a soft, disheartened sob at Emma's stupidity and shook her head. "What was on your mind that night in Boston?" she asked distraughtly. "Tell me exactly what you were thinking, because it was your emotions that caused it. You... wanted to expand our family? Is that it?"

"I-I don't remember." Emma forced her eyes shut and pressed her face against the back of Regina's shoulder. "Just the feeling. Family." Children hadn't been on her mind, at least she didn't think so, but for a woman who had spent her entire grown up life feeling like an orphan stuck in an adult's body, family meant everything to her. "What? No I… I mean I don't think…"Had she been thinking about having another kid? It raised questions Emma wasn't entirely sure she was ready to ask herself. Did she want another child with Regina? If it was something that Regina wanted… Would she say yes? A small voice in the back of her mind supplied the answer, but she ignored it for now.

"You... don't remember much at all about that time, do you?" Regina's voice rose lightly as she posed the question cautiously.

"No I… I don't remember." How could Emma see the signs when she was oblivious to what was happening? She listened to Regina cry and felt torn. How was she supposed to mourn for a little girl she'd known nothing about? How was she supposed to feel? Right then all she felt was conflicted, and oddly… relieved… to finally know what the fuck was going on.

In her emotional state, Regina had managed to hold onto clarity, but the rational part of her mind was no longer overruling the reckless personality that seemed to take over whenever she was at her most vulnerable and wanting for options. She abruptly shifted in bed to tug at the savior's pants and boxers. "Take these off," she impulsively requested.

"Wha-? Oh." Emma was snapped out of her thoughts by the hands tugging at her waistband. Caught off guard and flustered by the sudden shift, Emma only managed to hold onto her boxers as her pants were pulled down. "Regina I uh…" Despite the darkness in the room Emma suddenly felt very exposed as she fumbled, embarrassed. "I don't think you want to do that."

Regina froze in a moment of fleeting doubt, but then her hands were back on Emma's hips and she was yanking at the last barrier that lay between her and skin. "I want to," she stated, sliding her fingertips up and underneath Emma's shirt, pushing it away from a smooth, hard chest. "It won't be the same as always, but you're... still you, no matter your shape. This is... another opportunity for us. A chance for you and I to create something... good. I have to believe any child of ours will be good, Emma. I condemned the last before she even got the chance to be anything at all, without even realizing how much I wanted her..."

Emma was grateful for the dark. It stopped her seeing herself as Regina removed her clothing. The woman's words floated around in her mind as she whispered back, "We have plenty of time to talk about it, if that's really what you want, we can talk about it okay?" It was strange the way her skin warmed, Regina's hands on her chest felt so familiar and yet so new against her.

Regina pulled her shirt off over her head, and settled down on top of Emma, her warm breasts pressing against a toned abdomen and pecs. Her mouth went to Emma's neck, where she left warm and wet kisses underneath Emma's jaw. Then her palm flattened over flesh, which reacted to her touch - she raised goose bumps in a path down Emma's thighs, and her fingers coiled around a part of her lover that didn't exist before. "Tell me what you want."

Emma swallowed thickly as the scent of Regina's skin teased her senses, the warm, wet kisses across her throat made her pulse race. Her breath hitched as she felt Regina's fingers trail up her thigh. "Only you, Regina." The words were barely out before Regina's hand found the one part of her new body she'd yet to even look at. The sensation caused her toes to curl and her thigh to twitch, a rumbled groan echoed within her chest as her hands found Regina's shoulders to hold onto. Emma fought to keep her focus as she looked back at her wife. "I want us to be back together. So if we do this, it means no more lawyers, no more divorce." There wasn't any other option in Emma's mind, she needed to know for sure that they'd be on the same page.

"No lawyers, no divorce," Regina vowed. "We'll ... have a fresh start." She could feel the affect she was having on Emma, as the pliant flesh in her hand became rigid and unyielding, and she stroked it to attention. With one careful maneuver, she slipped off both panties and pajama bottoms and straddled Emma's lap, letting her heat surround the part of Emma that throbbed to be inside of her. She made no move to gratify its arching, probing demand, but instead concentrated on keeping their bodies separated, though nestled together. Breathy, quiet moans left her lips as she teased herself on Emma, ensuring an almost painful arousal for the savior. In the back of her mind, she knew their conversation wasn't yet at an end, that she had more to disclose - but all thought abandoned her as she kissed Emma hotly, her tongue entering Emma's mouth as she let the savior enter her - a just barely there admittance that ached as much as it felt good.

Between Regina's words and her building arousal, Emma knew this was as much a distraction as it was a desperate need to connect. To find solace in one another, to belong once again to each other, and she couldn't find it within herself to deny or hide how much she wanted that. A groan forced its way up her throat as Regina settled against her lap and Emma's hands weaved their way down Regina's back to grasp her hips. Every breathy moan from Regina was met with one of her own until their lips met and the slightest shift from Regina evoked a quiet, startled grunt to escape her mouth. Emma's fingers tightened around Regina as she froze for a second before instinct caused her hands to wander. Her large palms splayed against Regina's rear and squeezed as Emma's lips parted to deepen the kiss. The noise she made as her hips pushed gently upwards an inch or two was positively guttural, and she moved one hand to press between Regina's shoulder blades to pull her against her chest. "You're so warm," Emma whispered drunkenly with arousal.

Regina rolled her hips downward, taking Emma deeper between spread legs; her back flexed as she held onto her true love and began to rock steadily, pushing Emma through her tightening, smooth opening and all the way in. Her raspy moans caught in her chest, as she lowered herself towards Emma, angling their joined bodies to make Emma's thick length easier to accept. "It feels better than I expected it to," she panted. "Are you worried you'll hurt me?" She felt Emma's hands land on her ass and she gave a soft whimper of approval, taking it as a sign of encouragement. She quickened her movements, sliding Emma in and partly out, overwhelmed by the sensation of being full. She thought of Emma's fingers and the way they fit perfectly inside of her, and how in every way, the savior seemed to be a perfect fit. "Don't hold back..."

The noise that erupted from Emma as Regina slid the length of her inside was deep and throaty, and all she managed in agreement was a long, "Mmmm." In all honesty Emma hadn't been sure what to expect, she just hadn't expected it to feel quite so good. Pale fingers gripped Regina tighter as Emma took a moment just to relish the sensation of the warm, velvety wetness that surrounded her. In the haze of pleasure as Regina began to move, Emma belatedly registered Regina's words, and husked out slightly embarrassed, "I am a little, yeah." Though at the encouragement given, and taking it as permission to give into the desires coursing through her system, Emma hooked one hand under her true loves thigh while the other splayed between her shoulders. Strong arms cradled Regina as Emma smoothly transferred the woman onto her back, keeping their bodies pressed together as she settled partially on her knees. "Is this okay?" Emma asked, her lips grazing the underside of Regina's jaw. Emma placed heated kisses interspersed with gentle nips from her teeth down Regina's neck and nuzzled a naked shoulder as her hips began to move. Slow, tentative, half thrusts as Emma learned how to work her temporary form. She raised herself up onto her elbows to press her forehead against Regina's; her eyes searched the woman's face in the darkness, "Am I hurting you?"

Regina wrapped her legs around Emma's waist and lifted her pelvis to meet Emma's careful but forceful thrusts. "God, no." Her lips parted in a breathless moan and she raked her short nails up and down Emma's back, cutting skin. "We haven't done this in a long time," she sighed out, feeling her body tighten around Emma, spasming unexpectedly.

"Emma," she cried into the crook of her wife's neck, but continued to push herself up to take in all of her lover. She linked their fingers together, whimpering throatily from the powerful release that was followed by another. "Don't stop until it hurts." She grabbed Emma's backside and held on, wondering what it would feel like when Emma came undone. "I want this to be... good for you."

Emma hissed as pain and pleasure mixed into one, the sharp sting burned and throbbed along her back and she gasped in response, only to groan out, "Too long." The muscles along her arms and back tensed when she felt Regina clench around her, and she subsequently began to move with more vigor. "Far. Far. Too. Long." Emma punctuated each low, growled out, word with a hard thrust as both her arousal and confidence grew. Regina's request was met with a whimpered moan as Emma buried her face against the woman's neck, kissing and nuzzling as she panted out gruffly, "I love you." When Regina's hands ventured lower to silently encourage her, Emma gave into her baser instincts and began to move faster, with more force behind each roll of her hips. Her breaths became shallow as soft grunts left her lips, and her hands tangled in the sheets. Emma sank her teeth into the fleshy apex of Regina's neck with an animalistic growl of, "Mine." her teeth and tongue worked together to leave her mark behind but Emma's jaw went slack the moment her abdomen and thighs tensed, an alarmed, "Regina?" left her throat seconds before a guttural sound of startled pleasure. Emma's hips forced themselves against Regina the second her pulsing release wracked her body and she clung to Regina.

Regina sank back against her pillow, but loosely held onto Emma's elbows as the towering figure in the bed came crashing down against her, relaxing in her arms. She guided Emma's head to her chest and pulled the blankets around them, intending to sleep. "I love you," she echoed, and she could feel the evidence of it in the way their bodies met, and in the renewed heat that poured through her. "I want to have a child with you," she whispered, her throat clamping around the words. She still sounded young, girlish even, like the foolish and hopeful thing that deluded herself into believing she could ever run away from her past and her mother. Her eyes glistened and she rustled Emma's short hair, missing the thick curls that used to wind around her fingers.

It wasn't until dawn shone through the blinds that she blinked awake, startled to find David and Snow standing at the foot of their bed, with Ruby in tow. Emma was still very much asleep and wrapped protectively around her.


	6. Chapter 6

"What are you doing here?" Regina demanded, unrepentantly furious. "GET OUT! All of you. Now."

"What are you doing in bed with HIM?" Snow screamed at her, white hot fury on her face - the rest of them were keeping silent and backing towards the door.

"Emma texted me and said everything was fine," David frowned. "Clearly that was a lie. She said she was sick, but of course Snow wanted to check on her. What the hell is going on here?"

The noise of arguing roused Emma from slumber and she coiled herself tighter around Regina as she buried her face against the woman's neck to kiss her softly. "What's wrong, why is there shouting?" She husked against olive skin, voice even deeper laced with sleep. Emma barely got the chance to open her eyes as familiar voice screeched behind her.

"I'll tell you what's wrong! You have your hands all over my daughter's WIFE!" Snow's fury echoed around the bedroom and her face turned red as she shook with anger. "This is going to crush Emma," she said in a harsh whisper. "Regina, how could you?"

David too felt a sudden anger as he witnessed this man show affection to his daughter's true love, and like the protective father he was, strode over to the bed to grab the culprit by the arm. "GET UP!" He yelled, and with complete disregard to their well-being or dignity, pulled the young man from the bed viciously.

Emma, still uncoordinated from sleep, barely had a chance to find her feet. The force of being dragged out of bed sent her tumbling to the floor and she landed hard on her ass with a grunt. If the shock of it all coupled with the horror of being caught in bed by her parents, looking like this hadn't been enough? The realization that she was naked was. Panic bubbled up as Emma tried to cover herself and she blurted, "You don't understand, I'm-"

"Dude! Nobody cares who you are." Ruby interrupted with a look of contempt, and took the liberty to kick the pair of sweatpants at her feet towards the guy roughly. "But do us all a favor and put on some pants."

Snow averted her gaze immediately from the naked man and glared pointedly at Regina, as if daring her to deny that she'd slept with him.

Emma fumbled with the sweatpants, hurriedly trying to tug them on as she tried again, "But-!"

"Shut up!" David barked, and it was obvious now to Emma why people saw him as a strong leader. "Get dressed. Then get the hell out."

Regina yanked the covers tighter around her chest, wishing that she had flung her clothes off in a spot that was closer to the bed. Her panties and pajamas were strewn across the floor, giving a clear picture of what happened the evening before.

There was little use in arguing with Snow or David, but over the years, she had grown accustomed to these exercises in futility. "It's Emma," she growled out. "Are you all so stupid and unobservant that you can't recognize that? Even Rumple-"

"Don't you dare blame our daughter for your failed marriage. She did nothing wrong!" Snow howled. She stopped her pacing at the foot of the bed and turned on Regina, crossing her arms in judgment of the woman Emma loved. "Is this the secret you've been keeping from her? All of this time, I thought you were afraid..."

Regina swept a bed sheet around her, wearing it like a gown as she reached down to help Emma up. "You misunderstand..."

"We've misunderstood nothing. Step aside, Regina," David ordered, and then gripped her by the arm to move her away from the man who was crouching on the floor. He glared down at the pair of green eyes that gazed back up at him, unnerved by how they seemed so similar to his daughter's -

Emma's fingers just managed to curl around Regina's when David snatched her away, and it was the sight of his rough grip on Regina's arm that spurred her onto her feet. "Let her go!" She yelled, surprising even herself as she pushed her father back. Between the bickering of Snow and Regina, Emma stood breathing heavily, her muscles straining beneath her skin and the scratches on her back stinging from the cold, anxious sweat that covered her.

Snow teared up at the thought of how heart broken Emma would be. "You ruined what you had with my daughter... for him? I've never even seen him before..."

Emma backed up with her arms held out as she faced her parents and friend. Her natural instinct would always be to protect Regina, although Regina was capable of defending herself.

Regina stood against the wall with her head down, face bright red with anger instead of shame. "Well, he's just as good in bed as your daughter is, and I love him just as much," she growled out wickedly. "In fact, if you hadn't so rudely barged in on us this morning, I would have gone to great lengths to prove my devotion... though I did much prefer him when he was slighter of figure, with long curly hair."

Though what Regina said did at first embarrass Emma, it thrilled her all the same to know she was just as loved as she had been in her real form, and as Regina finished she could literally hear her smirk. Emma stood up straighter then and let the bewildered faces look her over.

Ruby was the first to speak as she tilted her head, sniffing the scents in the air with a peculiar look on her face. "Hold on guys I think he's…" Confusion caused her eyebrows to arch and she took a half step forward, "Emma?"

"Hey Ruby. Mom. Dad." Emma looked at each of them in turn as she shifted uncomfortably. Awkward didn't even begin to describe the situation. "So nice of you all to drop by without calling first. Breakfast?" She added with a slight cringe. Sarcasm would always be her go-to defense.

David appeared to be frozen with shock. Especially since he'd come very close to hitting his own daughter while trying to defend her. That was a lot to take in. Snow however wasn't speechless, and snapped, "We were worried! You told your father you were ill! We thought you had come down with something awful."

Regina slinked across the bedroom and found her robe, which she draped around her shoulders and tied off in front. She slipped her hands into her pockets and returned to Emma's side, satisfied that David looked properly appalled. He wasn't always rough with her, but she didn't appreciate those times when he communicated through brute force.

Emma swallowed thickly, and she bowed her head slightly with a cringe. "Well I have." Emma stated gruffly, then shrugged, "Man flu?" She offered quietly.

Ruby's bark of laughter cut through the silence like a gunshot.

Regina lifted her eyebrow at Emma's explanation, and placed a delicate hand on Emma's broad chest. "I expected you'd be back to normal this morning," she sighed. "I thought that my spell had turned you into a man so we'd have another chance..."

Emma focused entirely on Regina when the woman splayed her hand against her chest, and her features softened as she brought one large hand up to cup the side of Regina's face. The pad of her thumb stroked soothingly as she murmured, "Hey it's okay, maybe it did. We'll get me back to normal soon." Regardless of what they might have gone through in the past few months, Emma trusted Regina, and believed completely in her magic abilities.

"Another chance?" Snow muttered in confusion. "How many times have you done this?"

Snow's question evoked an embarrassed rash to color Emma's skin and she sighed heavily. "Never. This is just an unforeseen consequence of magic. Regina had a bad experience with an old book she found of Cora's." Emma paused as she wrapped one arm around her true love and frowned at her parents.

"I knew you two were kinky in bed," Ruby admitted, holding up one hand and mouthing her words at Emma, as if Mary Margaret couldn't hear her from a foot's distance. "I bet you use a lot of naughty spells, don't you?"

Ruby's statement evoked a slightly crooked grin to tug at Emma's lips, and she was all too aware of the claw marks down her back to even try to deny it.

"Oh, we don't limit ourselves to the bedroom, dear," Regina whispered coyly. "These past few years when you've been sleeping, we were making good use of the tables at the diner... I would say there's only one or two we haven't used, and that's to say nothing of the other places we frequented."

Emma pressed her lips together and looked down at her feet, trying not to wilt from the shame of having their sex life discussed in front of her parents. David looked as uncomfortable as she felt, but Snow looked scandalized and ready to rant.

Ruby beat her to the punch and blurted out incredulously, "All those mornings Granny accused me of eating the cans of whipped cream - it was you two!" Then, in the next breath, she added suspiciously, "What other places?"

"I…" Really, Emma couldn't even think of a lie as she glanced at Regina and remembered those nights. Though she did clear her throat and glance at Ruby with a mumbled, "I'll tell you later."

Regina, for her part, wasn't offering up any answers. Her come back seemed to have taken the energy out of her, and she sat down on the end of the bed, with her legs collapsing under her weight. "Emma," she muttered. "I feel strange. My magic…"

The moment Regina sank onto the bed, Emma was by her side. "Regina!"

With strong arms, she pulled the smaller woman against her. Gently, she pressed one hand against her true loves forehead and winced, "You're burning up. What do I do?" Panicked, she turned to her parents and yelled, "Go get Rumple!"

Regina gripped Emma's arm firmly to keep herself upright; she leaned into the cool hand against her brow, and moved it down to her burning cheek by softly nuzzling Emma's fingers. "I'll be alright," she promised, although she had no idea what was happening.

"Ruby, stay with them," Snow commanded, and then left the room with David following close behind.

"A lot of those old spells used blood magic..." Regina weakly dropped her head back against Emma's solid chest, her face flushed with the rapid onset of fever. "There must be a steep price to pay for casting so many."

"I'm going to sit with Henry," Ruby frowned, gesturing the floor below her feet. "He's downstairs. I'll keep him busy for a while, and tell him that Emma's really sick..." She closed the door behind her and started down the hall.

Regina slid slowly back into the spot she had vacated previously and underneath the blankets. "Don't worry, dear. The price won't be my life. I just fear that something catastrophic is happening somewhere else in Storybrooke, or else is bound to happen here... "

Emma's worry clouded her thoughts as she followed Regina. Getting under the covers was the worst idea, especially with such a high fever. Despite what Regina thought, if she didn't cool down, her life might very well be at risk. Emma was not prepared to let that happen, so she scooped the woman into her arms and walked into the bathroom. "Whatever happens we'll take care of it, but right now we need to take care of you."

Priorities in order, and fully aware of the protest she might have on her hands, Emma settled herself in the bathtub and cradled Regina against herself as she turned the cold water on. It hit her first, slowly covering her body and soaking into her pants, and she knew it would feel like thousands of little knives to Regina's fevered skin. "I'm sorry." She whispered as she watched the water rise. "We need your temperature to drop. Trust me." She pleaded, and shut her eyes as water finally began to cover Regina.

Regina tensed and hissed as the ice water shocked her system, and shook against Emma's body, pressing herself into the strong arms that surrounded her. "Out," she softly stated. "I want to get out... please." Her teeth chattered violently, though her skin was still hot to the touch and the temperature of the bath rose until it seemed like it had been heated over the stove.

"Not yet." Emma's voice broke slightly, much like her heart as she held onto Regina. Minutes passed as the fight left Regina and the water got alarmingly warmer.

Regina relaxed then, and lazily dragged her fingertips up and down Emma's wrists, measuring her small hands against Emma's - "Such strong hands," she muttered deliriously. "But... your wedding ring. It's gone! Emma, where is it?" she cried. "You need to put it back on!"

The sudden hysterics over the wedding ring almost caused Emma to have an anxiety attack, because it was as if Regina was succumbing to the fever, warping her mind. "It's here. See? Look, it's here." Emma whispered, hooking one finger under her necklace to show the wedding ring looped around it. She had taken it off her finger months ago because looking at it had been painful. However, she'd never stopped wearing it.

Regina seemed momentarily hysterical, but her frantic outburst tired her and her muscles loosened, until she slumped downward in the tub. With a slow but deliberate movement, she spun around and latched onto Emma, her wet hair sticking to her face and under her chin. "Get my books... - my spell books," she coughed. "Back stairs, so Henry won't see you... "

Emma wasn't sure if she was relieved or terrified by Regina's moment of clarity, but she ran with it, and lifted the woman out of the tub to rest on top of the bed. No way was she leaving Regina in the tub when she was so weak. If she drowned… "I'll be right back, please, don't move." As stealthily as she could, Emma made her way into Regina's study and frantically pulled drawers and cabinets open. She grabbed handfuls of books and piled them on her arms, and stuffed every vial or bottle she could find into her pockets, before quickly making her way back upstairs to Regina.

"I brought everything I could find. What are we looking for?" Emma asked, dropping the books onto the bed so she could empty her pockets carefully.

Regina had done what Emma told her to do, because she had little choice but to listen. Her fever addled mind was playing tricks on her, and when Emma returned with all of the spell books, her eyes refused to focus long enough to read the titles. She pointed at a wooden box, and when Emma handed it to her, she swallowed down a clear blue potion. It was one of many, all lined up in rows and left aside in case she should ever need it again. She breathed out in relief as the potion took effect, although she found it disconcerting that this potion should do the trick. "It's working," she announced, and then settled back against her bed, as the drink made her feel drowsy. She then pointed to a leather bound book and two other vials.

Once Emma brought her the vials, Regina's hand clenched tight around the thin glass, and after a short moment of struggle, she hid them away in her bedside drawer. Then she flipped open the leather bound book and passed it to Emma. "When Rumple arrives, give this to him," she requested.

"What was that? What did you just drink?" Emma asked as she paced back and forth, but as she took the book from Regina, she realized the woman was already drifting off to sleep.

In a frenetic state, she cleared the rest of the books and vials off of the bed and set them on the bedside cabinet, then spent another five minutes pacing the bedroom before the door burst open and her parents and Rumple walked in. "She - she was burning up, so I put her in a cold bath, and then she took something and fell asleep, she said to give you this. I think it's the spell book," Emma rushed out in one breath.

Rumple, for all his ambivalence, actually looked stricken as he peered around Emma to look at Regina. No taunt or jab about her still being a man left his lips, though he'd had a quip ready. Instead his careful fingers plucked the large book out of Emma's hands and he thumbed through the empty pages with concern. "I need to study this, and then she and I will need to have a little talk."

"Well is she going to be okay? Am I supposed to call you when she wakes up?" Emma sputtered, then tried to restrain herself as she felt her father put a calming hand on her shoulder.

"For now she appears to be fine." Rumple stated to ease the tension. "No need to call me, dearie. When I know more I'll come to you. Until then, I suggest you keep her in your sights, but otherwise go about your day. She'll wake in a few hours, I suspect."

Before Emma had the chance to ask anything else, he excused himself and Ruby stepped inside the room. "Anything I can do to help?"

Emma faltered, then realized they were looking at her to lead them, to remain strong for everyone's benefit. It took a second, but she finally pulled herself together with a sniff and looked at her parents. "You heard Rumple, we can't have Henry panic, he can't know Regina's…" Hell, none of them knew what Regina was. At her best guess, or worst, Emma mentally concluded some kind of magic overdose. "So I need you to tell him I screwed up with my magic and got stuck in the wrong body. He'll buy it." They all would, she realized with a scowl. "Take him to the fair, and let him know we'll both meet him their later, okay?" Right then Emma couldn't give a shit what anyone else in town might think, as long as her family was alright.

"We'll go tell Henry the plan," Snow agreed. "Emma, please call me if there are any changes, or even if you just need our support."

When Snow and David left with Henry, Ruby eyed Emma critically and shook her head. "If you're planning on strutting down the street with Regina you need better clothes." The look of pity on her face shifted to glee as she spied Emma's wallet on the dresser. She snatched it up with a wicked grin and raced towards the stairs with a shout of, "I'll be back!"

Forty minutes later as Emma was stirring her second cup of coffee, Ruby clattered through the front door with several bags in her hands. Emma sighed, realizing she was probably broke now.

Ruby whipped a new shirt from one of the bags and held it up to get an idea of how it would look on Emma. "Try this one on," she suggested excitedly. "I hope it fits. You always had muscular arms..." She bustled around, putting the new clothing on hangers and picking out a pair of pants, which she tossed at Emma. "You'll look sexy in these," she insisted.

Emma eyed the shirt, a green so dark it almost looked black, and shrugged in a rather resigned way as she slipped the soft fabric on and buttoned it up. Impulsively she flexed to test the material and fit, then turned to look at herself in the mirror. The corners of her mouth pulled down as she nodded, evidently satisfied with the look of herself. "You think so?" Emma casually asked as she stepped into the bathroom to change into the black pants. The material was thick and the crease made them look professional. It was odd, but as she looked down at herself she actually felt more confident. "Okay, what do you think? Respectable? Should I wear a tie? I need a belt." She decided, and hooked her thumbs in the loops.

Ruby rummaged through one of the bags until she found a thick leather belt, and she did the honors of putting it through the loops on the pants Emma was wearing. "No tie. You'll look like Mr. Gold." She stepped cautiously around Emma, then fixed a button on the shirt and smoothed out the fabric over Emma's shoulders.

Emma froze when Ruby took the liberty of pushing the belt through the loops on her pants. It certainly hadn't been something her friend had done previously, and although she knew it was akin to playing dress up for Ruby, it didn't make her any less paranoid or uncomfortable as she kept her gaze off of the girl. Two words formed a mantra in Emma's head, and she repeated them silently, over and over. Don't react. Don't react. Don't react.

"So, what is it like to be a man?" Ruby glanced sideways at Regina. "Why do you think Regina did this? I mean, from the way you described it, I guess she didn't have any control over what happened, but it's still weird."

"Yeah, it is pretty weird," Emma confessed dryly, then shifted to lean against the wall. "I mean the added muscle is a bonus, I feel like I could run around town without losing my breath, but it's… Tricky…" Emma cleared her throat and shrugged. "Plus I have to shave my face." One hand raised to idly rub against her chin, and she sighed when she felt the stubble rub against her knuckles like sand paper.

"Tricky? Running? Or... did you mean something else? Shaving your face must suck. I bet if you let it go for a week, you'd have almost as much hair as I do when I turn into a wolf."

"Tricky getting used to… Everything." Emma explained vaguely, and cleared her throat in relief as Ruby stepped back. Emma buckled the belt and stuffed her hands into her back pockets. "Thanks Ruby, as if I wasn't feeling self conscious enough, now I'm hairier than a werewolf." Emma sighed out and rolled her eyes.

"Yet you still managed to get Regina into bed," Ruby laughed. "Weren't you two sworn enemies just yesterday?"

"Yeah," Emma husked quietly, and moved towards Ruby as she continued, "Sort of… until she finally told me what was going on. But I'm not telling you. That's up to Regina, and before you say anything, no, she didn't put a spell on me." Emma paused, looked at her hands, and added quickly, "Okay she did, but this was an accident. She finally opened up last night and we talked. No more divorce. We haven't fixed everything… but we're getting there, together."

"I wasn't even going to ask if she put a spell on you," Ruby snorted. "From the very start, you two loved to hate each other... I guess it makes sense that the meeting to sign your divorce papers led to mind blowing sex. You have a complicated relationship, but who am I to judge?"

As casually as possible, Ruby cracked open a spell book and peered down at the unusual runes that covered the old parchment. "Can't Regina just undo your man curse?" she asked.

"With her magic freaking out she can't change me back, and the spells were that old that Rumple can't do anything so it's up to me to change myself back." Emma shrugged lightly, because she refused to panic, especially when she was more worried for Regina than herself right then.

Ruby paged through the spell book, but blinked up at Emma when the savior attempted to read the words on the parchment out loud. "God, it's a good thing we're all from the Enchanted Forest, and not Hogwarts... because if you were Harry Potter instead of the Savior, Lord Voldemort would have kicked your ass and you would have failed every one of your OWLs."

"You could say I have a lot to learn since… well, you said it yourself." Emma sighed. Though, childish as it was, she swatted Ruby lightly on the arm and huffed out, "Oh please, I could have so taken no nose, I have some skills." Then Emma shifted to sit gently on the edge of the bed. "So what stuff have they set up for the fair? Before all this happened," Emma motioned to herself with a perplexed look, "I was planning on asking Regina to go with me. You know, kinda like a date..."

"You can still go." Ruby glanced at the still, slumbering form of Regina and frowned at the way the former mayor was all twisted in the blankets. "The fair will be here all weekend. I bet she'll feel better when she wakes up. You know how she loves her caramel apples..." She kicked her feet up and suppressed a yawn as she watched over Regina. "It's hard work watching someone nap. I might fall asleep-"

Regina's eyelashes suddenly fluttered open and she groggily lifted her head, but didn't sit up. "I feel hung over," she groaned and fumbled to turn off the bedside lights.

Ruby helped out by flipping the switch to dim the room, and only then was Regina able to prop herself up against three pillows without wincing in pain.

Emma cast a hopeful look towards Ruby before her attention was caught by Regina waking up. Instantly she was by her true loves side, helping her to sit up before she used her own magic to bring forth a bottle of water. Emma uncapped it and handed it over. "We need to get some food in you. It'll make you feel better. You hardly touched anything yesterday." And she had no idea when Regina last had more than a bite of anything.

"I'm not hungry," Regina dismissively insisted. "Where have your parents gone?"

"They took Henry to the fair," Ruby explained, glancing between Emma and Regina and folding her hands in her lap. "You like Emma's new duds?"

"It's very formal," Regina remarked. "I could never get Emma to dress this way before. I believe this is the first time I've ever seen her in black dress pants..."

Emma reddened slightly, unsure if that was a compliment or a criticism as she stood up and brushed the creases out of her shirt. "Maybe I'll let you pick out some new clothes when I'm back to my normal self." She mumbled self-consciously. "Seriously though, do I look okay? You won't be embarrassed to go to the fair with me?" That felt incredibly important to Emma, and she needed to know.

"I mean I told my parents to tell Henry about me not quite being me… so that he doesn't find out about you, because he'd worry, and then you'd worry, and it's just better if everyone thinks I messed up." It still irked her on some level that it was also the most believable explanation. "I told them we'd meet them at the fair later, but I was…"

Emma shifted like an awkward teenager and glanced at Ruby, who was silently mouthing, "Ask her!" Emma cleared her throat, one large hand moved to rub the back of her neck and she mumbled, "I was already planning on asking if you'd like to go with me?"

Regina's soft smile crept up to her squinting eyes, which were bright and shimmering from Emma's shy proposal. "Of course. Get me some clothes and we can go. We'll eat at the fair." She sipped at the bottle of water, but soon capped it and handed it back to Emma.

Ruby opened the closet and chose a sweater for Regina, along with a pair of tailored trousers. "I'll just wait outside while you get ready," she told them and pointed at the door before stepping out.

Once Ruby left the room, Emma turned her back to Regina and folded her arms across her chest to give the woman some privacy as she changed.

With the clothes laid out on her bed, Regina shifted around and tried to put both feet on the floor, but her knees felt weak and she found it easier to remain sitting while she put on a bra and the sweater. She began to shimmy into her pants and then yanked Emma close by tugging insistently at the leather belt around Emma's waist.

The pull on Emma's belt snapped her out of her thoughts, which mostly consisted of what kind of food was served at the fair and how likely Regina would be to eat any of it.

Regina's big smile wavered when she stared up at Emma, with her arms coiled around her true love's back. "Help me finish dressing?" she asked quietly, grinning deceptively, as if all she truly wanted was the physical contact and not because she couldn't get dressed on her own. "You look handsome in this. I can't wait to take it off you later..."

Emma turned with concern on her face but Regina's grin and coy request had her blushing with mixed excitement and nerves. Butterflies took flight in her stomach as she wrapped one arm around the smaller woman and pulled her to her feet. "Come here," Emma murmured throatily.

Her right hand smoothed down Regina's hip, across her thigh, and then ghosted upwards as her fingers caught the zipper and tugged it up in one fluid motion. She buttoned Regina's pants just as effortlessly and then coaxed Regina to sit back down. It might have been silly, the way her hands caressed the woman's small feet, but she wanted the experience to be sensual, not robotic. So she took her time and placed the softest of kisses against her ankles before slipping on each sock, and zipping up each high-heeled ankle boot. The fur lined ones, because it was damn cold outside and she wouldn't have Regina feeling like ice.

"You're beautiful." Emma whispered, and her word choice had been deliberate. Anyone could look beautiful, but to her, Regina simply was - inside and out. "Ready?" She asked, and held her arm out for Regina to escort her from the room. "I know people are going to stare tonight, but I don't care, let them." She grinned cheekily at the Regina and pulled the door open to find Ruby leaning against the wall.

Regina held her breath at the compliment, and followed Emma across the bedroom with her warm eyes, waiting for an opportune moment when Emma's back was turned so that she could rest an instant, grasping at the wall.

"All set?" Ruby winked at Emma, and then ushered them both down the stairs and out of the house. "Tonight is going to be so much fun."

Regina linked her arm with Emma's as soon as she was able, although going down the stairs proved to be more difficult and tiring than she anticipated. "Yes, fun," she stated dryly, throwing on her wool coat, because she was eager to get into the car. "We'd better hurry or there will be no parking."

"Am I chauffeuring, or are you two taking the bug?" Ruby asked, knowing that Emma would refuse to let Regina drive.

Regina frowned at the bug and Ruby's vehicle, as if unable to decide which was worse. "You can chauffeur us," she announced, putting on her best and most beguiling smile. She wanted Emma's arms around her, and found that she grew stronger from Emma's little touches, even though it didn't last long once they were separated. To gather her strength, she nestled herself against Emma on the back seat, and held Emma's hand.

The fair grounds were teeming with people who were playing games and drinking hot ciders, chocolates and coffees. There were vendor booths, craft fair booths and lots of tents with food. A few of the rides were shut down due to the earlier flurry they'd had, but most of them were up and running, filled with excited children and adults.

As Regina predicted, it was hard finding parking at this hour, and Ruby realized it was easier to leave her car in the lot at Granny's and walk instead of circling around in traffic.

During the walk, Regina put on her leather gloves to keep Emma from noticing that her hands were still scorching hot to the touch. "What would you like to do first?

Emma hummed low in her throat as they wandered through the crowd, eyeing up the various stalls and rides. "First things first, we need to get food in you." Ruby excused herself to go find Snow, and Emma guided Regina over to one of the stalls selling hot apple cider and hot dogs. She slathered onions, ketchup, and mustard on two, and promptly thrust one and the cup of cider into Regina's hands as she paid. "If you finish it all we can do anything you want." Emma promised, and took a bite of her own.

Some people gawked, then hurriedly stopped, and when she heard her name being whispered she promptly realized that her mother had no doubt told everyone instead of just her son. Well, fuck it, Emma couldn't bring herself to care as she wrapped her free arm around Regina's back and tucked her hand into the woman's coat pocket to keep her close. "Remind me later to buy Henry candyfloss, so I can eat it all before we meet up with him." Emma flashed Regina a cheeky grin and finished her hot dog as they walked around.

"The two of you need to watch your sugar intake, or you're going to get cavities." Regina held the hot dog in her hand and took a bite, although her stomach rebelled against the smell of the meat and onions and her skin turned a light shade of green.

As Emma weaved them through the crowd, she faltered and did a double take. Then she grinned wickedly. "I've found something to do while you finish that." Emma rumbled delightedly, and hurried them over to the dunk tank. Evidently people did know it was her, because as she stepped up to smirk at the bikini clad Winnie, she watched recognition flash in her eyes. "Five dollars a ball, sister." Grumpy spat out as he leaned heavily on the booth. "Three." Emma stated with a devilish grin, and handed her money over.

Regina discarded the remnants of her food while Emma played games, grateful that Emma was distracted - although as soon as she noticed Emma's choice of diversion, she stalked over to the dunking tank and restrained Emma's pitching arm.

"Emma, don't..." Regina warned.

The redhead was still dry, but she looked liked she'd been sitting there for quite a while, freezing now as the sun lowered.

If she knew how Winifred behaved, Regina would have been encouraging Emma, or holding the redhead under the water until the woman came up coughing and sputtering - but she had no idea that Winnie once plotted to seduce her wife. "It's too cold. I'm not sure who, in my absence, granted a permit for this game, but I'm shutting the booth down." She had taken a two-week vacation to deal with the matter of her ending marriage, and the council was shouldering her responsibilities in the meantime.

Emma knew the water would be ice cold, and took immense pleasure as she stepped back and threw the first ball with such force and accuracy that the noise startled people around them. Winnie's blood curdling shriek as she landed in the water evoked rich laughter from Emma, who patiently waited for the now drenched girl to climb back onto the seat. "Oh, that felt great." She husked, and threw the next ball before Regina took it away from her. Emma didn't care how ridiculous a pout looked on a full-grown man - she still sulked when Regina confiscated the last ball and had a word with Grumpy.

Winnie grabbed a thick towel and wrapped it around herself, then found a heavy robe and a pair of boots; she came over to Emma after she dried her hair, grinning at the women. "Well, you look different, but I reckon your aim was just as good yesterday, when you were a woman. How'd this happen to you?"

Emma's teeth clenched as if she could sense the trouble about to take place, and muttered in annoyance, "By accident. I'm still learning to control my magic."

The redhead gave Emma a hard once-over and smirked, shoving her hands deep into the pockets on her robe. "I see you two made up. It's been years since I've slept with a man, but I wouldn't mind experimenting again, if Regina were to join us. The more the merrier."

Emma felt heat wash across her features as Winnie took her time looking her over, and felt uncomfortable at the sensation of being undressed in the woman's mind. She looked pleadingly at Regina as if asking permission to leave, but before she had the chance to suggest it, the sheer audacity of the redhead snatched the breath from her lungs.

Regina's brow scrunched in anger and disgust at Winnie's forward suggestions. "Emma, what is she talking about?" she demanded, sounding momentarily scandalized, before she turned to Winnie and gave her a pointed glare. "Listen, sweetheart, if you don't stay very far away from us, I'll make sure you get to experiment with men. As it so happens, all seven of the dwarves are available. You did say 'the more, the merrier,' right?"

Winnie smirked at Regina and flicked her gaze to a clearly embarrassed Emma. "So she's feisty instead of evil now, I like that. I can see why you'd use the handcuffs. They must get a lot of use..." Winnie shrugged before stepping into Emma's personal space to breathe out, "But I know it thrilled you to make me wet." Pale fingers ghosted along Emma's shirt, absently tapping each button they came across as she spoke. "We don't need the booth for that, with most of the town here. The three of us could go anywhere and have a little fun of our own."

Flustered by the contact, Emma stepped back and tried to move behind Regina. Her large hands settled on Regina's waist and pulled her closer. A nonverbal declaration of 'mine' as she glared at the redhead. "Regina, this is Winnie, my mother set us up on a blind date without my consent," she explained. "Remember the night I left the diner? This is why."

"Yes, I recall. Well, well, Winnie. You are quite wet, aren't you? Soaked through to the bone, no doubt. Let me help dry you off," Regina hissed through the rows of her clenched teeth, which were framed by a fierce smile. With fire circulating through her blood, she had no trouble forming an open flame in her palm and she glanced down at her hand with a mirthful gleam in her eye. She flung the fireball at Winnie and watched the flame leap up the girl's robe.

Winnie screeched in shock and dove into a snow pile, rolling around like a pathetic little weasel as her other friends ran in to help. Under normal circumstances Emma would have stopped Regina, but it was worth seeing Winnie rolling around in the snow.

"It's fortunate your mother didn't have the opportunity to arrange a marriage for you," Regina growled out, flexing her hot fingers. She stepped away from the crowd, which was beginning to shout and point in her direction. No one returned to the festivities without warily glancing at her, and she strode away from the dunking booth, pulling Emma along beside her, not wishing to engage in any more fights. In spite of the cooler weather, she felt like she was sweating through her clothing. "You told her we use your handcuffs, hm? What other intimate details of our relationship did you share?"

"Oh. Uh. Nothing else…" Shit. Emma shuffled her feet as she looked at Regina and cringed slightly. "I didn't mean to tell her that, my parents went to talk to Ruby and Winnie started talking about the fact that I'm sheriff and asked if I ever used them in the bedroom and I kind of blurted that was part of the fun in having them then I fled to the bathroom."

Regina now stood a few paces away from Winnie, but she was eyeing the girl with suspicion. "Not that I truly mind," she sighed, thinking back to how blunt she had been with Ruby earlier that day. "But why did you tell her of all people?" In the back of her mind, she knew why - Winnie wasn't altogether unattractive, and after months of treating Emma so badly, she wondered if Emma had been ready for an evening of carefree, casual sex. "Did you think about sleeping with her?"

Emma felt her face flame when the next question hit and she cleared her throat. With a deep breath in, she released it slowly and shook her head. "She followed me into the bathroom and tried to initiate, Regina. I'd barely known her ten minutes." If she'd been younger, or had never been married, Emma might have gone through with it but… "I told her I couldn't because I was married." Emma said with a shrug, then rubbed the back of her neck. "She got pretty angry, threw the divorce in my face, asked why I'd gone on the date and I stormed out to shout at my mom. After that, I left and ran into you."

She could leave it at that, but would Regina continue to wonder if she'd thought of the redhead? Emma cleared her throat and dipped her head as she confessed, "I went home, had a shower, got into bed and…" Emma couldn't meet Regina's gaze and so looked at her boots instead. "Your scarf smelled like you, well your perfume, and I…" She shrugged, feeling embarrassed. "I thought about sleeping with you."

"If she hadn't been quite so forward, would you have tumbled into bed with her at the end of the night instead of thinking of me while you relieved yourself?" Regina would normally hold a grudge over an incident like this and she seemed intent on interrogating Emma, even though she knew Emma would never betray her trust that way.

Shame colored Emma's features, but it wasn't because she'd have slept with the girl, it was because hearing Regina state what she'd done in such an accusatory manner made her feel three feet tall. Emma licked her lips nervously and met Regina's eyes, "No. I mean yeah, she's pretty, but I don't want to sleep with her, and I wouldn't have. I thought saying I was married would be an easier way to let her down. Plus it was true, in my heart. She's not you. I don't want her, especially not like that, so no. I wouldn't have tumbled into bed with her."

Regina crossed her arms and scrunched her face in thought, then dropped her hands at her sides as a pain shot through her; she would have bent at the waist, but all she did was hold onto herself and frown. She was accustomed to enduring pain and didn't want Emma to see her weakness. "Get me a caramel apple and I think we can say that all is forgiven." When Emma seemed to hesitate, she demandingly stated, "Go. Now," and then limped off to sit on a damp bench, wondering why her spells were taking such a physical toll on her.

Emma mistook the pain Regina was in as anger, and did as she was told; she backed off like a kicked animal and hurried towards the food stands.

Regina sat alone with her eyes shut, unaware that she was being watched. Rumple had noticed her in the crowd and came to her straight away.

"And just what do you think you're doing out and about?" Rumple hissed. "You ought to be resting. I was supposed to receive a call the minute you wakened up." His nostrils flared in aggravation, but when Regina screamed softly without unclenching her teeth, the certain hardness in his face vanished. "You know, you were fine yesterday. What did you do between now and then? Did you perchance take the savior to bed with you?"

"What business is it of yours?" Regina raged. "You said you couldn't help me - you've done nothing but ridicule and mock me these past six months!"

"Because you never fail to get in your own way. You always make things worse for yourself." Rumple fixed the back of his coat and then took a seat next to Regina. "Your savior will be coming back any moment, but you and I do need to have a little private chat. Until we get that opportunity, I suggest you and Emma exercise some... restraint in the bedroom. All of these troubles are related to your wanting another baby... "

On the other side of the fair grounds, Ruby almost knocked someone over as she rushed to Emma's side as she waited in line. "What the hell was that all about? What happened with Winnie?"

Emma thumbed through her wallet and grabbed a few dollars before snorting at her friend, then her eyes sought out the redhead who looked incredibly pissed off. "When you propose a three-way with Regina just so you can sleep with her wife, you'd better have life insurance."

Ruby's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. "She didn't?" She whispered in disbelief, though it was clear she was downright amused.

"Oh she did." Emma chuckled, and shook her head. "What is up with her? I mean, does she boil rabbits in her spare time or is she just hoping I'll get pissed off enough to manhandle her into a cell?"

"Who knows?" Ruby shrugged, then tilted her head in Granny's direction. "Going to catch up with Gran. You try to stay out of trouble."

Emma paid for two caramel apples in the hopes of getting back in Regina's good graces, and waved to Ruby as she walked off. The sight of Rumple sitting with Regina made her frown and she approached somewhat cautiously. "What's wrong?" From the suspicion in her tone it was clear she'd seen the look that crossed Regina's face before the woman had the chance to mask it. She handed off both of the apples and arched her eyebrows at Rumple. "Did you find anything out yet?"

Regina bit into one of the crisp apples and slavered at the taste of its tart ripeness combined with the sweet, smooth caramel. She gave Rumple a look that she hoped would silence him, but he was one of the few people she couldn't easily intimidate.

"I have the book 'marinating' at home and I will know more in a day or so. I told your parents to give me a ring as soon as Regina wakened, but I see the two of you have other priorities. I should remind you both that this isn't a time for fun and games. All of these spells come with serious consequences..." Rumple clutched his cane with both hands and stared at the couple in disbelief, as if he couldn't understand how they could behave so irresponsibly.

Snow, David and Henry spotted them just as Rumple eased up from the bench. "Whoa," Henry sputtered, seeing Emma for the first time since her transformation. "You messed up big time, but I guess it could have been worse. Do you remember the time you broke the statue in mom's office... or when you - heh, nevermind." He shut his mouth as soon as Ruby placed a hand on his shoulder, patting him hard. "I'm going to catch up with some of my friends if you've got everything under control."

"Henry, wait," Regina sulkily called out, but the teen was off and running before she could ask him to stay.

"What are you doing here?" Snow asked, on the verge of scolding both her daughter and Regina. "You should have stayed in bed, Regina. And Emma, what were you thinking when you agreed to this?"

To have both her mom and Rumple scald her like a silly child angered Emma, and she spat out venomously, "You told us to go about our day as normal! This is normal!"

Rumple shook his head and leaned heavily on his cane as he met her gaze and hissed, "At what point did I say take her out to the fair when she's just had a fever?"

"Stop," Regina grunted out. "Everyone, stop with the shouting. You're only making it worse." Her apple went flying from her hand, and before she could blink, she and Emma were whirled away in a cloud of purple, only to appear again at the top of the ferris wheel. The wind rocked their car from side to side, and she felt her stomach drop as she glanced over the side. She reached for Emma as a menacing gust whipped down from the north.

Emma sputtered as she tried to retort, but before she got any words out her vision was clouded by purple smoke and suddenly they weren't standing there anymore. It took her a moment to adjust to the sudden change and a few more to realize the ride was powered down. Nobody could see them so high up, in the dark, and there was an almost calmness now that the noise of everyone was in the distance. The motion of the cart didn't bother Emma, but she held onto Regina when the woman reached for her, and pulled her close.

"I don't... want you to have any reason to think of other women, ever again," Regina declared. "And I don't Rumple and your parents to criticize us and treat us like we're complete imbeciles who can't solve our own problems...!"

"Hey, I don't think of other women. I only care about you." Emma raised her voice slightly as the wind picked up and she huddled closer to shield Regina from the brunt of the icy chill. "Ignore them, I know that we can handle this, and that's all that matters. We can talk to them later and tell them to back off."

"Ugh," Regina grunted. "Emma, I'm going to be sick."

Regina's sudden announcement propelled Emma onto her feet and she angled Regina closer to the side of the cart. One hand brushed the hair from Regina's face while the other began to rub circles against her back. "Let it out, Regina, you'll feel better. It's okay, I've got you."

The sound of Regina's stomach contents erupting forth was drowned out partially by the wind, but it was the familiar shriek of Winnie that caused Emma to roar with laughter. Below them, Emma could just make out the girl, and how she wore Regina's vomit. "Bet she wishes the dunking tank was still open now."

Regina would have needed to suppress a laugh if she wasn't hanging her head and shaking from the sudden, wracking pains. She pressed her hot cheek against the cold metal of the car and waited until her stomach settled before tucking herself against Emma and holding on. "They're going to have to start the ride to get us down..."

On the ground, David was pointing at Emma and Regina, his lip curled in disgust as he saw Winnie run by, splattered in vomit.

Emma held Regina close and whispered softly against her cheek. "For the record, you're the only one on my mind, Regina."

Regina shut her eyes, but the swaying of the ferris wheel car nauseated her. "Speaking of your mind..." Now wasn't the ideal time but Emma couldn't run away from her and she wanted to tell Emma what happened. She would have admitted how she had betrayed Emma's trust then if her body would have cooperated. Coughing on the bile in her throat, she leaned forward and clutched her knees. By the time she recovered, the ferris wheel was moving and they were descending, only to be boxed in by Snow, Charming and Rumple, who all wore identical, un-amused expressions.

"We're giving you a ride home," Snow announced. "Rumple and Ruby have volunteered to keep an eye on Henry. We'll come back for him later." She sounded like the authority figure she was supposed to be, and stuck her chin high in the air as if giving an official proclamation. "Let's go."

David moved in to enforce his wife's commands, and like a true shepherd, herded Emma and Regina towards the parking lot.

Regina was too sick to argue, and made it so far as the street before she meekly submitted to Emma carrying her, at David's suggestion. Once they were in the backseat of Snow's station wagon, however, she sat on the bench seat and brooded. "This is ridiculous," she spat. "Need I remind you that I raised you ?"

"You were a child then," Snow flippantly reminded her. "And occasionally you still act like one." She caught her daughter pouting in the rearview mirror. "Emma, cheer up - there will be other fairs. I'm sorry, but someone has to be the adult here. I have your best interests at heart… We'll get you home, put you to bed, and then I'll make soup - "


	7. Chapter 7

During the car ride home, Emma sat in a huff with her arms around Regina. It was only once they'd gotten back home, in the safety of their bedroom and away from her mother's ears that she stated glumly, "I wanted to win you a stuffed animal, preferably by showing off my strength or skills." Even as she said it, she knew how juvenile she sounded. "Well, if you're stuck in bed I'm staying with you."

There was no point in arguing with Snow, who was in the kitchen clattering around. So Emma made herself useful and grabbed Regina's pajamas, and while Regina changed, Emma shaved and took a shower. Washing her hair was so much faster, though as her hands lowered as she washed her body, she paused to mutter to herself, "Don't get any funny ideas." In her haste to get clean as fast as possible, she got soap in her eyes and slid into the tiled wall with a hiss of, "Son of a bitch!"

Several minutes later and she walked out with a towel wrapped around her waist and one bloodshot, irritated eye. "Maybe we could talk them into letting us watch a movie or something downstairs. As long as you're resting, that shouldn't be an issue, right? Unless you want to sleep. I could take a nap with you," She casually added, then moved to search the bags of clothes Ruby had so thoughtfully purchased courtesy of her own damn wallet. "Can you look through this and see if there's pajamas or something. All I have in this one is shirts." Nice shirts, actually, that she paused to admire before hanging them up.

"It is ridiculous that we have to ask permission to watch a movie in our own living room," Regina grumbled. "I refuse to do that." She slipped out of bed and padded across the floor to the closet, where a pair of warm pajamas were hanging next to one of her negligees. "Here you are. We can pretend we're having a slumber party, since we're being treated like children. You'll have to keep your hands to yourself if we lie down together. I heard Snow mention to David that he should encourage you to stay in the guest room tonight. It's like they don't trust you to behave... or maybe it's me they don't trust. Come, get into bed..." She turned down the overhead light and flipped the switch on the lamp next to the bed. Then she slid underneath the covers and patted the spot next to her. "What did you do to your eye?"

"Soap." Emma grudgingly admitted, and felt silly as she mimicked the action when she spoke. "Wiped water off my face and forgot I was holding the sponge." Really, some days it was a wonder how she never injured herself more. Emma gave up on the variety of new clothes in favor of taking the old, baggy pajamas, and without any thought, let the towel drop where she stood and proceeded to put them on. "I've missed these." Emma's soft tone wasn't sad - it was pleased. The way her hands rubbed the fabric of the shirt she now wore, said she'd known where they were the whole time, tucked away in Regina's closet from before they started talking about getting divorced.

"I'm not sleeping in the guest bedroom. This is our house!" Emma went so far as to stomp her foot, and that evoked a cry of, "Everything alright up there?" from David. Feeling every bit the wayward teen they were treating her like, Emma yelled back, "We're fine! And I am not sleeping in the guest room! We're married for Christ sake!" The noise of her parents arguing was like music to her ears and Emma grinned triumphantly as she turned to look at Regina.

"It's me they don't trust." Emma stated softly, and then waved at herself. "They think just because I'm like this I have no self control. You're not feeling great. They just want to make sure you rest. Which seems unlikely if I'm here." Emma shrugged lightly then sighed and climbed into bed next to Regina, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes as she murmured, "You know, if they want to treat us like teens, we could totally make out." Emma didn't think for a second that they would, but she grinned as if she did and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Regina leaned in and hooked one hand behind Emma's head, bringing her face so close to Emma's that their noses touched; she nuzzled Emma and tenderly kissed her lover's lips. "You've always behaved worse than a teenage boy, especially in the bedroom," she whispered, snorting. "Now that you temporarily look like a man, your parents have a problem with it." She rested her forehead against Emma's and then pulled a strong hand closer, laying it on her chest. "If we get caught, this was your idea. I have no desire to be lectured by your mother..."

The surprise on Emma's face must have been comical as Regina pulled her closer, and she nodded quickly with a rushed, "I take full responsibility if we're caught."

With a nip at Emma's mouth, she smiled into her kiss and guided Emma's hand up her shirt.

The teasing kiss turned more heated the moment Regina let go of Emma's fingers and allowed them to roam. Emma gave a thrilled little moan as she touched Regina eagerly. She gripped Regina's breast and thumbed one of her nipples, grinning into the kiss as Regina gasped in shock and excitement at being felt up.

Regina's face was flushed from their activities, and after a while, she felt a familiar ache and flutter in her belly that wouldn't be ignored, though she knew she'd have to try. "... dear, you're going to have to stop. If we continue, it's only a matter of time before our clothes come off. Don't you think?"

How much time passed, Emma couldn't be sure, but as they pulled apart it was with a groan of protest on her part. "You're probably right."

Snow rapped on the door, but entered the bedroom without waiting for permission. She brought along two glasses of orange juice and medicine for Regina, all balanced on a tray. "Oh, Emma... I hope you aren't getting sick, too. You look all red in the face... " She pressed her hand against Emma's forehead and reached for the thermometer, which she tucked underneath her daughter's tongue.

Regina tensed, sensing the telltale signs of Emma's arousal and glanced up at Snow, hoping the woman was as unperceptive as she always believed her to be. "Emma is fine," she assured the doting mother. "I'll take care of her... You needn't worry."

Emma shifted immediately to fold her hands over her lap atop the covers and winced slightly. Thankfully Snow stuck the thermometer in her mouth and missed it. Emma spat it back out with a bit of a cough and scowled at her mother. "I'm not sick I've just had a shower." She muttered awkwardly, grateful that Regina stepped in to confirm she wasn't ill.

"Hmm." Snow eyed her daughter then took in her short damp hair and sighed, "The soup will be ready in an hour, try to rest until I bring it up. And drink your orange juice, both of you need the vitamins." With one last look, she about turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Emma, despite how awkward she felt or perhaps because of it, cracked a grin at Regina then chuckled softly. "That was a close one, huh?" Carefully, Emma handed over a glass of orange juice and the medicine, then shifted uncomfortably as she sipped at her own.

Regina swallowed the pills with her orange juice, although it was hard for her to accept Snow's kindness. She assumed that David and Snow would be unfriendly if not downright furious with her, given all she had put their daughter through. Instead, Snow seemed relieved that Emma and Regina were reunited, even if she didn't know the reasons for their marital troubles or how those issues were resolved in a few days' time. It was such a drastic change from how Snow previously behaved when Regina had done anything wrong.

"It was," Regina agreed, and quietly drank her juice, studying Emma with dark and curious eyes. "Let's see if we can keep our hands to ourselves for the next hour," she suggested. "The one to hold out the longest wins."

Regina picked up a hardcover book she had been reading and put on her glasses.

Emma lifted an eyebrow and then narrowed her eyes playfully as she husked, "Game on." Oh, she could totally win this. So what if they were sitting in bed together? Wearing only pajamas. Inches apart. Her green eyes followed Regina's fingers as her wife flipped through the book she'd grabbed.

Emma's mere presence was making Regina restless, but she knew if she and Emma were to engage in any activities that required the total removal of their clothing, Snow and David would likely hear it. She read a few sentences, but the meaning of the words didn't register and she was forced to put the book aside. Her face revealed that her thoughts were less than pure when she risked looking in Emma's direction, and the buzz of magic in her veins was strong.

Downstairs, the plush thick curtain in the living room enveloped David in a cocoon, trapping him against the wall like a chrysalis waiting to hatch. In the kitchen, Snow experienced difficulties with the soup - she cut tomatoes again and again, and onions over and over, and finally began to question her sanity when she realized none of the work was done and fifteen minutes had passed. She stood dumbfounded in front of her cutting board when she finally succeeded in putting together her vegetable soup. Afterwards, she poured herself a stiff drink from Regina's liquor cabinet, deciding that the stress had finally gotten to her.

In the meantime, Regina's fever was spiking again from the magic rush - the bed shook underneath them and the blinds rattled in complaint. She licked her bottom lip and let out a soft, moaning sigh.

It took Emma a moment to realize she had started to subtly roll her hips against the slight weight of the blankets. Horrified, she stilled immediately, but when her gaze returned to Regina the woman was no longer holding the book; she was watching her like a predator getting ready to pounce. Emma guzzled her orange juice and shot out of bed, because there was no way she could trust herself not to reach out and grab Regina and lose the stupid game.

"I'm going to grab my cell. I have games on it." She blurted, then straightened up and tried to compose herself despite the flustered way she put both hands on her hips. It wasn't the most effective of poses when she was trying to look serious, which Emma realized immediately when she tried to walk off towards the bathroom. Her confident strut was more of an awkward walk. She shut the door behind her and sighed down at herself. "I hate you." Emma muttered, then went to the sink to collect her cell. For once she was grateful she'd forgotten about it after taking a shower. She'd only just picked it up when she sucked in a deep breath and exhaled with a shake of her head. Her body was tingling and she felt suddenly warm and calmer.

The games were completely forgotten as she leaned against the sink and found one of her playlists. With a swipe of her thumb music filtered into the room, and she set the device inside her shirt pocket before she browsed the medicine cabinet. "Why am I in here again?" Emma asked herself with a bit of a confused chuckle and shut the cabinet. Her hand grabbed for the tube of toothpaste but her reflection distracted her and she watched herself grin. Emma's bare foot began to tap against the tiled floor as she got into the music and her body swayed. She laughed as she pointed to herself in the mirror and brought the toothpaste up to sing along. "I don't do boys, I just do girls, I just do girls with style and class, I don't do boys, I just do girls, I just do girls with kissable abs…"

Emma felt amazing, and a little uncoordinated as she pulled open the bathroom door to dance into the bedroom. When she caught sight of Regina she pointed towards her and carried on singing, completely off key but grinning like a fool, "Girl, it's not your game, but I know tonight you'll come, because girls are best for girls, and when we play, oh oh we don't cheat at all." Emma's voice increased in volume as she made her way around the room, "I don't do boys, I just do girls, I just do girls with style and class, I don't do boys, I just do girls, I just do girls with kissable abs!" Emma then saw fit to rip her shirt open to proudly display her own, then carried on dancing as if she were on a night out.

Regina glared darkly at Emma and swept the blankets back, getting swiftly to her feet and crossing the room in three long strides. She opened the window for some fresh air, but as soon as Emma continued to dance and undress, she groaned in frustration. "You're drunk on magic," she huffed. "Keep your shirt on!" With Emma acting like a complete fool, she started to regret that she hadn't agreed with David when he told her that she and Emma should sleep in separate bedrooms. Her head was pounding when she sank back into bed and drew the covers over her legs. "Lie down before you hurt yourself."

With her back to Regina, Emma finally stopped dancing as she noticed the not so subtle tent in her pants. Curiosity got the better of her and she pulled the waistband out to take a look, then turned to pout at Regina. "I wasn't going to hurt myself." Emma huffed, and crawled up the bed to flop onto her back. "Regina?" Emma shifted restlessly and sat up instead, and leaned towards her wife. "Regina." She said again, then went on to add, "Regina guess what?" Emma attempted to keep the amusement off her face as she leaned in closer as if sharing a secret. "I'm like, way bigger than Neal." Then she dissolved into laughter.

Regina's lip curled back in disgust, and she again reached for her book, determined to ignore Emma's childish antics until the intoxicated state wore off. "I didn't need to know that," she sighed, though having experienced Emma for herself, she knew her wife was better endowed than the average man.

"Well I didn't need this body but you gave me it," Emma mumbled back.

"Stop the pouting." She flipped to her page in her book and perched her reading glasses back on her nose. "I'll admit that you do know how to use it but let's leave it tucked away for the time being, hmm? Why don't you go and get your book... the one that I got for you last Christmas, which you never read. It's in the guest room."

Emma couldn't understand why Regina was ignoring her, but she saw through the request to get the book and stood up after a slight struggle with the sheets. "I don't want to read." She stated, and then added dramatically, "But I know when I'm not wanted." Emma spun around and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She stumbled down the hallway, almost bouncing off the walls before deciding she didn't want to go to the guest bedroom. Instead, she went into Henry's room, because the kid always had a stash of candy somewhere.

Huffily, Regina shut the novel she was reading before scooting out of bed to follow Emma. She found Emma in Henry's bedroom with a bag of bite sized candy bars in her lap. "Where did you find that? Did you buy Henry chocolate?" She snatched the treats out Emma's hand and put them aside, then tried to drag Emma up from her spot on the floor. "Emma...you aren't acting like yourself. It's my magic doing this to you. Just come back to bed, and we'll figure out something to do together."

Emma had been humming along to herself as she chewed away happily, but the sight of Regina coupled with her tone left Emma resembling a naughty child. Emma's wide eyes tried to focus on Regina and she shook her head despite the fact that not only had she bought some of the candy, she'd also shown her son the best hiding spots.

"I won't force you to read," Regina conceded. "In fact, I'll even let you decide our activity. How about a game?"

The suggestion of doing something together perked Emma up, and she finally allowed Regina to help her to her feet. One muscular arm slung around Regina's shoulders as Emma steadied herself, though as she made her way back to their bedroom it was with a whined, "This is so boooorrrriiiiing, and you're so hot, it isn't fair, why can't we have any fun?" Emma let out a groan of displeasure and flopped face first onto the bed to express how she felt. Whatever else she said was muffled by the pillow.

"Ask your mother that," Regina curtly replied, and then gracefully lowered herself into bed; Emma was a pathetic sight before her. She soothingly brushed through Emma's hair with her fingers. She coaxed Emma's head into her lap and continued to coddle Emma without allowing herself to rationalize why she was enjoying it so much. "You have chocolate all over your face." She snagged a tissue from the box on her night table and wiped the ring around Emma's lips, then kissed away the remnants of the sweet milk chocolate. Her hand stilled as she put the tissue aside and she stared into Emma's green eyes.

"I want to be able to do this in the future," Regina suddenly confessed. "With a child. Our child, Emma. We won't be giving our children sweets, but you get the idea. I want ... to clean off a little face, and sit with a sleeping baby in my lap..."

Emma listened as attentively as she could manage, and reached up to cup Regina's cheek in her large hand tenderly, "You're going to be an amazing mom." She stated a bit slurred, albeit sincerely as her eyes began to fill with tears, only to hiccup. Emma buried her face against Regina's abdomen and nuzzled it as she breathed out warmly, voice thick with emotion. "I know, 'cause you already are." Her arms snared around Regina's waist. "We're gonna have another kid."

"If you were sober, I would suggest we work on making that happen." Regina scratched at Emma's scalp to gently stimulate the circulation and allowed herself to slip into a haze of thought, if not contentment.

Snow bustled into the room with a tray that held two bowls of steaming soup and rolls of saltine crackers. "I'm sorry that took forever," she sighed. "I just... got so distracted. Emma, are you feeling alright? Here, sit up, or you'll spill hot soup down your front." She carefully placed the tray in front of Emma and Regina, then perched on the end of the bed, as if she intended to watch them eat every bite. "After you finish eating, you should brush your teeth and go right to bed."

Emma tried to sniff back her emotions. The knowledge that fun could be had if she wasn't so drunk with magic was taken very seriously, and she actively tried to sober herself up. She'd only just half sat up when Mary Margaret walked in with their soup and crackers, and to be honest, the sight of her mother helped Emma focus. The last thing she wanted to do was look drunk in front of the woman. "Thanks." She said with a lopsided grin, before focusing all her attention on eating. Really, this was like a test, because if she could eat soup without scalding herself or making a mess then she was half way sober already. Right?

Mary Margaret stayed perched on the end of the bed and curiously watched her daughter and her wife with a mixture of concern and affection. Only once they'd both finished their soup did she finally announce, "We're going to collect Henry at the fair and we'll take him home with us. Don't you dare think about getting back up." She pointedly looked at Regina. "If you need anything, please call. There's plenty of soup left, and a lovely ginger and lemon tea."

Emma grimaced at the thought of being told what to do, but she managed to grin when she realized the house was theirs again.

Mary Margaret collected the tray up with the empty bowls and paused in the doorway to stress softly, "Rest. Both of you. We'll see you tomorrow for lunch."

"Thank you," Regina softly replied, taking some small comfort from Snow's cooking and concern, in spite of herself. "Please tell Henry we love him. He'll probably have a stomach ache from too much pizza and cotton candy..." Although he was sixteen years old, Regina still worried over her son as much as she did when he was baby. "Chances are he'll go right to bed, but I would like it if he called to say goodnight…"

Snow was out the door before Regina finished her final instructions.

With a smile on her face, Snow headed downstairs to find David. He was sitting on the floor next to the curtains. "We need to leave," he said hurriedly, getting to his feet. "We'll come back when Regina's magic sorts itself out. Besides, I just got a text from our grandson…"

"We are leaving," Snow confirmed, and put on her winter beret and matching, dark purple coat. The couple called out from the bottom of the stairs, saying "good night!" before leaving and locking up behind them.

Regina nestled herself into Emma's side, snugly fitting her smaller body into Emma's larger, muscular one. "Are you alright?" she asked. "We can watch a movie now, if you like. Our wardens are gone. I know I should stay in bed, but rules were meant to be broken, right?"

So focused on making sure her words wouldn't slur, Emma had wound up staying silent. It wasn't until Regina curled up next to her that she realized what she'd been doing, and promptly grinned. "Mmhmm." She hummed with a nod, then like a mischievous child, got out of bed and snagged Regina's hand and grabbed the blanket with the other. "Rules are seriously meant to be broken." There always would be a hint of her past lurking under the surface. The thrill of doing something she shouldn't. "We should watch…" Emma trailed off as she thought, then shook her head. "Something good." She added assertively, and pulled Regina out of the room with a grin.

Downstairs, Emma ushered Regina to sit down and gave her the blanket. She only tripped once over her own feet as she scrambled to turn on the television and grabbed the remote. She settled heavily onto the couch, evidently proud of herself, and began to flick through the channels. Various images flashed in front of their eyes, and Emma paused once or twice when something caught her attention before inevitably passing the remote over. "You can pick." Emma's tone was breezy, as if she hadn't a care in the world, and the way she smiled at Regina would convince anyone it was true.

Regina sank down on the sofa and folded her legs underneath her; she put the remote aside and took Emma's hand, pulling her wife down beside her. As soon as Emma was seated, she scooted into her true love's lap and draped her arms over broad shoulders. "I think I changed my mind…"

Outside, the wind roared and an ice storm froze the streets, followed by the snows promised in the forecast. The power went out, plunging them into darkness as magic sizzled around them.

"Wonderful," Regina grunted. "I would light a fire, but I might burn down our home in my current state." She appeared content to lie back in Emma's arms and shut her eyes, bundled up in the warmth of the blankets and Emma. "I'm sorry my magic is having this affect on you. I'm not sure why it turned you into a man, and now you're a stupidman at that... "

Emma pouted at Regina's not so subtle insult. "Hey I might be a man but I'm not stupid!" The words were bitter as Emma settled back against the couch, and her arms dropped from around Regina. The intent had been to cross them, but she couldn't with Regina on her lap. "I'm street smart." She muttered under her breath, clearly offended.

"Dear, you aren't acting like yourself right now... That's all I meant." Regina wore a severe frown, eyebrows knitted together in consternation as Emma withdrew his strong arms. Her soft, mellow eyes darted up to Emma's although her wife's expression was hard to make out in the darkness. She pressed a few playful, noisy kisses to Emma's neck, but the faint smile she mustered up began to wane when she saw that her actions had no effect.

For all her accomplishments, for all she'd managed to do in Storybrooke, Emma would forever have a sore spot over being a high school drop out. It was easy for her to take it Regina's teasing seriously.

With a quiet sigh, Regina moved away from Emma and curled up on the far side of the couch. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "I didn't mean to upset you. I love you, Emma."

Emma slumped, already feeling bad and missing the warmth of Regina. "Come back." Emma leaned over to lightly grasp Regina's forearm. With gentle insistence she pulled Regina closer and wrapped her arms around her again. "I love you too." Emma stated softly, then pressed her chin against the woman's shoulder. "Sometimes I feel stupid." Emma confessed in a whisper. "Then I worry that everybody else thinks it, but because I'm the savior nobody mentions it."

"Are you kidding? You're the only other person in this town who has a brain, aside from me and Henry." Regina sensed Emma's discomfort and unwillingness to continue the conversation. She predicted Emma would change the subject before she even felt her pulling away.

"We should eat all of the ice cream in the freezer before it melts," Emma announced, heading for the kitchen.

"Now that sounds like a smart idea," Regina quietly replied. She went after Emma, holding onto the wall to keep from tripping in the darkness. "I'll make you a sundae..." She opened the fridge, and using a flashlight, found a carton of vanilla ice cream and caramel topping, which she scooped into a glass dish for Emma.

"I hurt you... a lot of the time, without meaning to - " Regina whispered. "And I really hurt you these past six months... but you still forgave me. How do you do that? Why do you let it go so easily? I expected you to hate me for what I did... "

Emma watched the beam of light cascade over the surfaces of the room as Regina easily made her way around, confident now that she could see better. "I'm not perfect, Regina. I screw up. I did a lot of bad stuff growing up. I made a ton of mistakes. I gave birth when I was in jail. I was terrified and that was without knowing about magic and curses and Evil Queens and… Everything." She lifted her spoon and twirled it, but waited to dig into the ice cream.

"I can't… I can't hate you for reacting out of fear the same way I did," Emma whispered. "Okay, it's different - but not really. I still got rid of my kid out of fear, and that was my choice. Neal had no idea I was pregnant. I had no idea I was pregnant, until it was too late to even consider the alternative. So why would I hate you for doing what you did when I did the same?"

"But... you didn't kill Henry," Regina protested, feeling her stomach clench in reflex; her eyes were wide and shining, focused only on Emma. "You gave him away." She drew a shallow breath and leaned heavily into the corner cabinet, clutching it for support. "You were eighteen years old. Alone, frightened, without a home or any resources of your own. I had you, Emma... " She hung her head in remorse, remembering how she stood in the same spot years ago when Owen had posed a very important question to her.

"Why aren't you a mom?"

She swallowed thickly and ran a trembling hand through her hair before tucking it under her arm and out of sight.

"Did you ever think of Henry, after you gave him up and before that night when he showed up at your apartment? You probably wondered what he was like…."

Regina paced the floor and dropped the ice cream scoop into the sink with a loud clatter. "We don't get to experience that with our daughter, Emma. We'll never get to know her. She's gone and it's my fault. I killed her."

"No, Regina, you didn't kill anyone," Emma cut in quickly. Perhaps it was the seriousness of the conversation or Regina's magic was wearing off, but Emma was feeling a little more coherent. "Of course I thought of Henry. Hell, not a day went by that I didn't question if I'd done the right thing." Emma pressed her lips together and took a moment to gather her thoughts. When she spoke, her voice was low, husky, "Regina if I've learned anything in life it's that you can either wallow in the past and be consumed by it, or you can take a look around and move forward. I choose to look forward. If you really want to have a baby, then you can't… We can't… Get stuck on this. We have to repair our relationship, and keep moving forward together."

Regina shook her head to show she understood, even if she didn't agree; she shut her eyes tightly and turned away from Emma.

She would never overcome her past. All that she had done and everyone whose lives she affected seemed to follow her around like strategic pieces on a chessboard, constantly keeping her on high alert and making it impossible for her to live her life without worry of being caught. She continually found herself bombarded by threats, and she was the biggest threat of all to herself because fear often drove her to make the wrong moves. When would she get it right?

Emma watched forlornly as her wife withdrew. She'd seen Regina like this before, seeming so small, an invisible force crushing down on her shoulders. One thing was for sure, Emma wasn't about to let Regina carry it all herself. Emma took a step closer and wrapped her arms around the woman's small frame and pressed herself up against her as if trying to blanket her in warmth. "You can do this, Regina." Emma whispered with conviction, her lips finding her lover's ear to state softly, "We can do this. I know we can. Together we can get through anything."


	8. Chapter 8

When Regina returned to work on the following Monday, she discovered her office had been given a most unfortunate makeover; the black and white wallpaper changed colors on whim, settling on pastel blue, pink or yellow, and her secretary skittishly informed her around mid morning that a stack of important memos had turned into baby shower invitations. She sneered down at the stationary, wondering when her magic developed such bad tastes and a perverse sense of humor all its own. It was cruel that it gave her constant reminders of what she'd lost, but she why should she blame it all on her own magic?

Around lunchtime, she stalked into the sheriff's office and all but dumped the cards in front of Emma. "This is your doing," she stated, and whirled around to pace. "It's not only my magic that's acting strangely; it's yours too. Look at this," she huffed, thrusting one of the invitations under Emma's nose, which announced She is about to pop! and included the message "Beer, BBQ & Baby Talk" over a ridiculous design. "Would I write that?"

The telltale click of heels had alerted the sheriff of who her visitor would be, and it gave her just enough time to drop her bear claw back into its bag, before she dropped it in the drawer and shut it. By the time Regina dumped a bunch of cards on her desk, Emma was scrawling across the most recent report. "I didn't do anything," came Emma's automatic response. Regina's magic had been increasingly getting a mind of it's own, and as her green eyes read the invites, they widened in alarm. "I definitely didn't do this. My magic is perfectly fine and you know it." She reiterated. Emma's eyes followed Regina's incessant passing before casually realizing the woman had worn a skirt. Dress? It was hard to tell when she was wrapped up in her jacket. "Well…" Emma took in the sight of her aggravated wife and decided not to point out the fact that Regina did indeed look ready to pop. In anger. "No, you wouldn't write that, but neither would I. Seriously Regina, when would I ever invite anyone over for baby talk?"

Regina frowned and wiped at a glazed, sticky substance on Emma's chin with the pad of her thumb. Her keen eye honed in on the drawer where Emma stashed the bear claw, and she yanked it open in suspicion. "This doesn't look like the salad I made you for lunch," she remarked, as she removed the bag with the treat from its hiding spot. She put the bag aside and then sat down on the top of Emma's desk, primly crossing her legs. "Our magic could be interacting and you might not even realize it. You didn't even notice when you got me pregnant..." Instead of throwing the bear claw in the trash, she took a bite of the sweet pastry. "Show me what you've been practicing," she demanded. The night before, Emma spent a few hours running through basic spells.

Emma huffed quietly as Regina cleaned her, and then winced as the woman found the bear claw. "I ate the salad for lunch!" The sheriff stressed, one arm outstretched to point towards the empty container on the other desk. "It was delicious, by the way, the crispy bits of bacon were great. The bear claw was for dessert." Emma sighed, then faltered as Regina perched herself atop her desk in an authoritative manner.

Either Regina didn't realize how harsh her comment had been, or she did and it was delivered like a slap to the face. Regardless, Emma still bristled and saddened simultaneously. "That's not fair. You didn't even tell me it could happen, there were plenty of times to say oh hey, be careful with those fingers, I'm magically fertile." Emma brought one large hand up to rub the side of her face, and hoped the building frustration would melt away. "I'm not playing show and tell with my magic at work, Regina. We can do this when I get home."

"Magically fertile?" Regina spat out in incredulity. "Neither one of us was aware that it could happen, but you're still in denial about the power you hold as the savior. Haven't you learned by now that if you close your eyes and make a wish, it might just come true?" She put the bear claw back in the white paper bag where she found it and then stormed off towards the door; instead of leaving, however, she locked the bolt. "You'll show me now, or I'll punish you. No video games with Henry after dinner, and no games with me, either, in our marital bed." The last few nights, Regina had come to bed without pajamas and slipped naked into Emma's waiting arms. "I'll wear your flannel pajamas tonight and I'll button the top all the way up to my neck. Your choice. But I suggest you make up your mind quickly. My lunch break is almost over."

Emma refused to reply as she reclined in her chair and crossed her arms. It wasn't like she'd made a wish, or even truly thought about it, but the way Regina said it led Emma to believe her wife clearly held her responsible, regardless. Emma rolled her eyes when the woman walked off, but she hadn't expected her to come right back. "You'll punish me?" Emma scoffed, shifting her body forward so that her forearms could rest against her desk. "Sounds like you'd be punishing yourself too." Emma dared call the woman's bluff, because the notion of Regina withholding sex to get her way had worked in the past, and Emma wasn't particularly keen to encourage that behavior by playing along. On the other hand, pissing Regina off would also mean Henry would get slighted and he'd blame her for not just going along with whatever whim his mom had.

With a throaty noise of displeasure, Emma scooped up all the baby shower invites into one neat stack and focused entirely on them. Magic tingled through every cell in her body and in a matter of seconds, the stack was back to the original memos. Her lips curved into a smug grin as she handed them back to Regina. "Satisfied?"

Regina snatched the memos from Emma and scrutinized the text, although one demonstration of the savior's capabilities was hardly enough to impress her. "This is acceptable for now. You can stop by my office on your way home. I'm having a problem with the wallpaper. You can either fix it with magic, or else you can put up all new wallpaper by hand."

"What kind of problem?" Emma narrowed her green eyes suspiciously at Regina. "If it's coming alive and snaring people like the damn plants in our garden, I'm not going near it." Twice. Twice she had stormed into the garden intent on chopping off a branch or two from that asshole tree that kept shaking her and hitting her whenever she walked by. Twice Regina had managed to stop her.

"Did you ever stop to think that you started it? If you had never taken that chainsaw to my apple tree, perhaps the garden wouldn't consider you a sworn enemy. Just be thankful it's wintertime. I can't imagine you'd survive if it was spring." Regina smirked at Emma and shifted up from the desk, prepared to leave - but she found herself lingering at the door of Emma's glass office.

"Tonight, I want you to wish for it to happen again," Regina quietly and abruptly requested. "Will... you do that?" She placed her hand over her lower abdomen, but then tucked both of her hands in her pockets and out of sight.

Regina's soft whisper took Emma off guard and for a brief moment her mouth silently opened and closed. "Yeah I… Yeah." Emma croaked out. Despite the shock she still managed to nod, with a slightly stunned smile on her lips.

Regina pulled on her leather gloves and arranged the scarf tightly around her neck - she glanced out the window and noticed the snow was falling faster. She paused, feeling tense even after Emma agreed. "We haven't done anything to celebrate our anniversary, so we'll make it a special night. I love you, and I'll see you later."

"I love you too." Emma called after her wife, then promptly released a breath. They were really going to do it; they were going to have another kid.

Hours later, the sheriff made her way towards the Mayor's office. Excitement and apprehension bubbled under the surface of Emma's calm facade, but as she approached the receptionist, she was politely told that Regina had already gone home but she'd left clear instructions on a note for her. Emma was less than thrilled by the simple demand of 'fix this' or the way it had been underlined, but she did grin at the walls when they shifted from blue to yellow. It took her half an hour to finally work out how to get the colors to drain. Emma was still proud though, and feeling pleased with herself, jogged out of the building and back to her car. Ten minutes later, she narrowly avoided being attacked by the tree in their garden and pushed open the front door.

"I was given instructions to keep you from going into the dining room or kitchen," Henry said by way of greeting; he was lounging on the bottom step of the stairs, looking like a bored teenager instead of the enthusiastic kid who used to like being involved in his moms' schemes. Then he smiled, and he resembled his younger self more closely, the little boy who watched his moms fight and fall in love. "You're not allowed upstairs, either."

Emma rolled her eyes at Henry and shrugged out of her jacket. With one hand, she absently hung it up as she walked towards her son, intent on changing out of her uniform, only to be blocked and ushered away. "Seriously, kid?" The incredulous tone was offset by her slight smirk as she regarded her son. It felt like forever ago that he'd been half her size, and now he was only a foot shorter than her. Well, in this current form.

Henry steered Emma towards the living room, frowning crookedly as he took in the sight of the taller man in front of him. "This is weird, isn't it? You're kind of my dad now. When are things going back to normal?"

"You have no idea how weird it is." Emma sighed, then cringed, "Whoa, no, don't call me that. That's even weirder." She gave Henry a playful, light punch to the arm then shrugged lazily. "Soon. I hope. Whenever your mom's magic works or I learn to change back." Truth be told, Emma tried not to think about it, lest she become a ball of anxiety.

In the dining room, Regina hurriedly put the finishing touches on her table, and then slipped out of the apron she had been wearing to make a last minute gravy. Underneath, she wore a black dress that plunged at the neck and clung to shapely legs that were clad in dark stockings. She lit the candlesticks they were her centerpiece and then checked her hair in the mirror to make sure the gentle curl had stayed. When she heard Henry and Emma talking in the next room, she took a deep breath and then stepped into the living room. "Dinner's ready, if you two would care to join me... "

"Hell yeah we-" Emma's words stuck in her throat as she turned to glance at Regina. As her green eyes trailed down Regina, her large hands sought out her belt to clutch, the fingers of her right hand brushed the holster for her gun and she cleared her throat. "Would."

"I'd rather eat in my room," Henry joked, "All you're going to do is hold hands and make eyes at each other..."

Emma shot a frown towards her son. "You're having dinner with us, or you're not getting dessert." While Henry weighed his options, Emma unclipped her holster and set her gun aside.

"Well come on then, before it gets cold," Regina demanded.

Having made up his mind, Henry gave Emma a push to get her moving, and they followed his mom back to the table.

"Whoa…" Emma breathed again, only this time it was in awe as she found her seat and claimed it quickly.

Henry wasted no time in filling up his plate; he tore into a turkey leg while still holding a fork in hand to scoop macaroni into his mouth, straight from the dish. He seemed to have forgotten all of the manners that Regina taught him, and nearly choked when he tried to swallow. "'S good," he muttered and then took a sip of ginger ale while his eyes watered. "Happy anniversary. I know it's a school night and everything, but Tootles and Curly said I could stay with them tonight." Ever since Neverland, he'd become friends with the two lost boys who had been his unwilling captors. Ariel and Eric, who moved in down the street from the Swan Mills Family, had adopted the two orphans. "I could really use the sleep…" He didn't tell them why he'd been having trouble sleeping, but from the look he gave them, it was pretty obvious; he was sure all of the neighbors could hear his moms when they were going at it. He wondered if they were oblivious to the stares they got in the morning when they went out to get the mail.

"Fine, you can go. But remember, it's a school night. You're not to be up past eleven." Regina missed the days when Henry was a deep-sleeper and naïve as to what went on between his two parents. Now that he was a young man, he knew about certain aspects of his mothers' relationship. With a frown pulling at her lips, she served Emma a plate full of turkey, fresh vegetables, and potatoes.

For a brief second, Emma envied her son, and how he got away with stuffing his face like a greedy little chipmunk. Instead Emma tried to show restraint, and made the effort to sit up straight without her arms resting on the table. "Regina this is amazing…" Her words were a low rumble as she watched Regina scoop food onto her plate. Henry's not so subtle request to stay elsewhere on their anniversary caused a blush to crawl up her neck like a rash. Instinctively she dipped her head and refused to make eye contact with her son or wife, and was intent to pretend the remark hadn't been heard. Thankfully Regina stepped in, and handed off the plate, so Emma did the only respectable thing she could do and ate.

"So, is it true that you turned mom into a man because you want to have another baby?" Henry asked. "Belle and Ruby were talking at the diner. I might have overheard their conversation…"

Much like her son, Emma snagged a forkful of pasta, then shoveled in a piece of turkey, which lodged in her throat when Henry blurted a question she truly hadn't been prepared for. Any semblance of elegance was tarnished as Emma coughed roughly into her palm and nervously licked her lips. "Look, kid, it was an old book with pretty intense spells, we don't know for sure why I turned into… This and I'm going to skin Ruby and burn down the library but…" Emma wiped her mouth with a napkin and prayed to whatever deity would listen that Regina didn't get mad at her for trying to be assertive, and simply grabbed the proverbial bull by the horns. "Yeah, we uh, we're trying for another kid. We're not trying to replace you, Henry, I just want you to know that. In fact we think you'd make an excellent brother. What do you think?"

"I'm cool with it, as long as you promise that you're going to stick together and work through your issues as a family." Henry glanced coolly at Regina and wiped his face on a napkin, then folded his hands in front of him. "Also, I think you should go see Archie. Both of you. By yourselves, or together if you want. I'm pretty excited to be a big brother, but I know there's something else going on between you right now. I don't want to be moving house to house with a kid in diapers in a couple of years. Not to mention, college is just around the corner for me... which means I won't even be here to teach the kid how to deal with the two of you." His plate was already empty, and he gulped down the rest of his ginger ale. "I'm going to take some pie to go..." Without being asked, he took his dish to the sink and rinsed it, then placed it in the washer. On his way out, he kissed Regina on the cheek and gave Emma an awkward hug. "Love you."

"We appreciate your input, kid, now get out of here and have fun with your friends." Emma whispered into Henry's ear as they hugged, which felt weird in her form and she could sense her son had the same experience as he patted her back and then rushed off. "We love you too!"

Regina slipped her hand under the table, sought out Emma's knee, and held on. "I think we did a good job with him," she whispered. "Don't you?"

Emma flashed a proud smile towards Regina as she felt the woman's hand on her knee and she nodded softly. "Yeah, you're right. He's a good kid, and he'll be a good man too." Her smile turned a little coy as she returned to her meal. After a few delicious bites Emma felt compelled to announce, "Seriously, you're hands down the best cook ever. I don't even care if you tell my mom."

"Your mother is aware I'm a better cook than her," Regina snorted cockily. "She still thinks I lured you with food and sex."

"Well you did. Can you blame her?" Emma smirked and began to relax; she reclined slightly to stretch out her long legs and reached for her drink to sip at. "I fixed your wallpaper." She said around a mouthful of turkey and potatoes, "No more colors, just nice black and white forest." The poor instructions left behind were totally forgotten about as she grinned at Regina, content that she'd done well, even if she said so herself. "So…" Emma took another sip then picked up her fork again, "I'd have changed into something nice, but I wasn't allowed upstairs. I hope you don't mind." It was a teasing remark before Emma resumed enjoying her meal.

"Perhaps that was part of my plan," Regina softly lilted. "You know how I love your uniform." She took a sip of red wine and then placed her glass aside, next to her untouched food. As soon as she heard the door snick shut behind Henry, she rose from her seat and sat in Emma's lap. She slipped out of her heels and lifted her legs, curling them beneath her as she took the fork from Emma and began feeding her wife.

"Oh yeah? Good thing I left on my badge, huh." Emma's cocky smirk faltered the second Regina invaded her space, and by the time she'd settled on her lap to feed her, Emma was fairly certain she might in fact be asleep at her desk.

Emma had never felt comfortable with someone feeding her before, until Regina had coaxed her into it. At first she'd felt silly, when they'd been dating, but now she reveled in these moments and the closeness they shared. Emma's thoughts drifted to their first anniversary, and how she'd panicked over trying to find the perfect gift, before inevitably making it herself. A scrapbook, that contained every little piece of their journey together as a couple. From pictures of their dates to cinema tickets, to lipstick stained napkins and fallen leaves. It had taken hours to put together, and she'd been so proud of the end result.

For their first anniversary, Regina had given Emma several gifts, but she upheld the rule and tradition about giving a paper present. Among her things, she had found one of the novels she read when she was younger, about a girl who goes on adventures and finds true love; it was a leather-bound volume with old parchment pages and a gold detail of a horse on the cover.

This year, the tradition called for a present made of cotton, and since Regina had no heirloom to offer Emma, she purchased something new. She reached for a bag and placed it in her lap for Emma to open. "One of your gifts," she explained.

Emma quirked a golden eyebrow as Regina handed over the small bag and studied her wife's face before delving into the thing. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but what she got was a handful of the softest fabric, and when she pulled it free she discovered it was an beautiful little dragon, with two soft, multi colored wings and a tail. It was quite possibly the cutest thing she'd ever seen, and her smile was dazzling, "Regina…" She choked out, then crushed the poor stuffed dragon between them as she hugged Regina. "It's perfect. Our kid's going to love it." Emma whispered.

With eyes shining bright and full of happiness, Regina settled in against Emma and lazily stroked the little dragon's fur. "You really think so?" she asked, but she knew Emma meant it by the way Emma squeezed the stuffed animal between them and held onto her. "I have one other gift for you, but you can only have it after you finish your meal.. " She saw that Emma was nearly finished, and scooted off of Emma's lap. "It's our second anniversary, dear. Our cotton anniversary. But I don't wear cotton to bed." Her face scrunched wickedly as she left Emma with that thought and went into the living room.

Emma almost choked on her last mouthful of wine when Regina left her with something to think about, and as quickly as she could, she rinsed off her plate and followed her wife.

Regina left Emma on the couch with a plate full of cookies and pie and then went upstairs to change. When she returned, she wore a black silk nightgown that hardly covered her backside, and which pulled tight over her chest. "Do you like it?" she asked, sliding into the spot beside Emma.

Emma was on her second cookie when her true love walked back in, and this time she did actually choke. "Y-I-uhuh. Mmh." Emma stated as eloquently as a cave man while she followed the woman with her gaze and then actively tried to stop. Like wasn't a strong enough word, clearly. In a strategic move, she settled the plate on her lap and swallowed thickly when Regina claimed the spot next to her.

"I was thinking we could watch a movie or listen to some music," Regina suggested. "I want to feel as connected as we did last year."

"That sounds great," Emma softly agreed. "What kind of movie, one of those romantic ones you pretend to hate but secretly love?" A movie felt safer, if she had an excuse to look at the television, it increased her ability to behave.

Regina seized one of Emma's muscular arms and pulled it around her shoulders, then turned on the television. "Now why would I subject you to that? You loathe romantic movies - although I do recall that one time when I came home to find you watching Moulin Rouge with a box of tissues in your lap, and a bowl of popcorn at your side..."

Emma let her hand clasp around the woman's forearm, before her fingers walked their way down to entwine with the Regina's. "Not all romantic movies, just, most of them. And hey, I distinctly recall us agreeing that we would never mention that, ever."

Regina teasingly scrunched her nose and settled on a horror movie, even though it was her least favorite genre. As a young adult, she might have watched such films for the thrill of it, but some of the plot lines did genuinely frighten her. With all of the lights off in the living room, she began to feel ill at ease less than fifteen minutes into the movie and pressed herself closer to Emma. "This is dull and predictable," she said aloud, but shut her eyes during the more terrifying scenes.

The creepy music filtered through the living room and Emma was riveted to the spot as she watched the slasher flick. "You wanna watch something else?" She would have reached for the remote had it not been on the other side of Regina, but she did tighten her arm protectively around Regina. It was hard to ever believe she'd been The Evil Queen, especially when she tried to hide against Emma. Admittedly, the sheriff was beyond thrilled - not only did she get to cuddle with her wife, but she got to feel needed, and that, in a roundabout way, made her feel strong. "You can look now. The scary part is over."

Regina smacked her true love on the arm and flashed a moody glance at the television screen. "I'm not frightened. I was merely shutting my eyes because I'm bored," she replied, but she jumped in reflex when the killer appeared and repeatedly plunged a knife into his victim. She flinched with every motion of the blade and by the end of it, had all but crawled into Emma's lap. Her pulse was hammering rapidly in her neck, and her breathing became ragged from the panic that filled her chest. "You lied," she grumbled. "Did you know that the killer was going to do that?" In spite of her anger, she found it impossible to extricate herself from Emma, because in the end, her fear won out over her rage. She stole a glance at the screen, exhaling in a sigh of relief when she saw that the credits were rolling, although she didn't budge or remove herself from Emma's lap; she only held on tighter. "Carry me to bed," she demanded. "And check to make sure the front door is locked before you head upstairs... "

The rich laughter that burst from Emma was quickly followed by a wheezed, "I honestly had no idea, but that was priceless." Emma wrapped her arms around Regina and reclined into the seat, her right hand rubbed soothingly against Regina's arm as Emma pressed her cheek against Regina's to whisper, "And totally worth it." She'd never really understood why guys took girls to horror movies, mostly because she'd never been the type to cling onto them in fear. It had only been when she'd started to see Regina that she understood the appeal. Oh, she'd missed this more than she'd thought. Regina's demand amused Emma, but since Regina had sat through the entire movie, carrying her to bed was by far a great trade off. Plus, it totally fed into the desire to remain seen as strong. "I think I can handle that, Madam Mayor." Emma husked softly, and gathered Regina into her arms the same way she'd carried her over the threshold when they'd gotten married. There was no rush as she walked then to the door, and after she checked, and double-checked the door, the sheriff made her way slowly up the stairs and down the hallway.

Regina sulked in silence as Emma did as she asked, but once they were within their master bedroom, she refused to relinquish the death grip she had on Emma. She wouldn't turn off the lamp on the bedside table after they were comfortable in bed. "I suggest you find a way to relax me, dear, or we may have to postpone our plans to make a baby until tomorrow night." She dropped her head to Emma's chest, but finally let go of her true love, allowing the sheriff leave to take a shower and get ready for the night.

Once Regina was settled and less spooked, and Emma showered, she walked back out with a towel wrapped around her waist and sat at the dressing table to clip her toe nails. Then she paused to frown at her reflection, then straightened up and tensed to see what her muscles looked like.

"You're more smug as a man," Regina noted. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? You think you're tough." While Emma took care of any nighttime needs, Regina sat nearby and watched with undisguised fascination for a moment before glancing away. "I'll... have to find a way to get revenge."

"Tonight you are to keep your hands to yourself until I say you can touch me. Understood?" With a glint of mischief in her eye, she returned to the bed and began folding down the blankets. She sank down on the mattress and leaned back against the pillows, then adjusted the strap on her silk nightgown. "Tell me what you like most about having your way with me in this form."

Emma's green eyes searched Regina's face and she swallowed thickly. Suddenly she didn't feel so confident anymore. Regina's tone made it clear that the rules she was setting forth wouldn't be tested, and the look to accompany it made Emma feel restless. She took a step forward, but then Regina demanded she tell her something that left Emma feeling incredibly vulnerable, especially because she was standing in a towel and the light from the lamp made it impossible for her to hide her blush. The sheriff nervously licked her lips and self-consciously gripped the towel resting on her hips. "It… It's…" Jesus, she could actually feel her face burning as she tried to vocalize the truth. With effort, she made herself make eye contact with Regina and tried again, albeit in a hushed nervous whisper. "Feeling you around me, getting to feel you so deep-uh." Emma cleared her throat and tried to stand still. "Having my hands free to touch you…"

With one finger crooked in a come hither gesture, Regina beckoned Emma closer to the bed and took hold of the towel that kept the sheriff's lower half hidden from view. She knelt in front of Emma, looking up into clear green eyes as she gently pushed the towel away and let it fall to the floor. Both of her hands splayed across Emma's muscular chest, and she planted light kisses over her true love's neck, leaving damp lip prints in her wake. "What... is something you'd like to try tonight? A fantasy you haven't yet experienced with me..." She scratched Emma's skin without the intent to hurt, running her nails up and down across Emma's smooth torso and back. Her hand came to a stop on Emma's abdomen when she felt a hardening length straining against her thighs; she shifted and warmed her true love's sex with the silk between her legs, though she wasn't yet willing to offer skin on skin contact. "You can kiss me, but no touching... not until you tell me what's on your mind right now."

Emma wasn't entirely sure why the first thought that came into her mind was that particular thought and she was hit with another wave of shame. Actually, it was Regina's fault, really. For a terrible second, she almost believed her true love could read her mind as she asked about trying out new fantasies. Emma however, remained silent, and shivered under the tender brushing of palms across her skin. It almost tickled, but not quite. Regina's gentle nails left her skin tingling. "But Regina I…" The sensation of warm silk caused the Emma's eyes to roll slightly, and she leaned forward to steal a tentative, chaste kiss, as if afraid she'd be denied. Still, with the rules in place, Emma clenched her hands and held them by her sides. "I can't." She whispered against Regina's lips, "I can't say it…" It would turn her into every guy she'd ever been with, and she wasn't sure she could handle Regina's reaction, or rather, what the hell it would be.

Regina bent her elegant head in understanding, and drew Emma down to sit on the bed - it was her turn to stand, arms loosely wrapped around Emma's shoulders for a moment before she got to her knees on the carpet. She took Emma's large hand and brought it to rest in her tangled, dark hair, then nestled her face against her true love's lap. Her hot breath left goose bumps over Emma's toned legs, and her perfect lips parted to let Emma inside of her, into that warm place from which all of her husked sentiments of love poured forth, and her laughter and angry criticisms. All of the passion she put into the words she directed at Emma was put into the act of satisfying her true love. Her tongue and lips and the velvet soft enclosure of her cheeks surrounded all of Emma, pulling wetly at the part of Emma that hadn't existed before. As graceful as ever in the act of giving pleasure, she curled an arm around Emma and breathed carefully, giving herself over to Emma's desire and offering her throat fully.

Emma panicked even though her desire spiked, and her hands flailed in the air between them. It didn't strike Emma as odd that she paid respect to the rules; it wasn't the first time they'd used them. "Oh Regina no, you don't have to do that, I'm not even comfortable touching it! Really, you don't-" Emma's breath hitched and her long fingers curled to grip Regina's dark hair as her body tensed at the first toe curling sensation of moist warmth. Whatever protest she had died on her lips as she forced them together to quell the whimpered keening noise that erupted from within her chest. The textures were what got to her, the languid almost roll of Regina's tongue felt different as it caressed her compared to the almost silky feel of her cheeks or the slightly rippled grazing from the roof of her mouth. Emma's free hand gripped onto the side of the bed roughly until her knuckles whitened and she'd twisted the sheets; it took all of her willpower not to move as she dared to look down at Regina and a deep, rumbling moan escaped.

Emma held her breath when Regina wrapped her arm around her waist, and her free hand released the sheets to grip the back of her neck, strong fingers gripping her own hair as her jaw dropped in surprise. Between the visual of it, and the sheer pleasure of feeling it happen, Emma let out a startled groan of, "Fuuuuck!" that almost ended in a sob. Every cell in her body urged her to guide Regina's movements, begged her to move her hips, and Emma's fingers restlessly brushed through her true love's dark hair as she resisted with every fiber of her being. Pleasure was different in this form - it didn't radiate through her whole body, but condensed itself lower in her abdomen, a tightening pull that coiled like a spring. Emma's broad chest heaved with her labored breaths. She'd gotten used to that feeling, and what it meant. With an almost pained expression the sheriff whimpered, voice thick with arousal, "Regina… You should stop now…"

With the musky scent of Emma's arousal in her nostrils, and her mouth plunging forcefully and receding, Regina could only concentrate on relaxing her jaw and swallowing. Underneath her, Regina felt Emma's muscles tightening and the gentle bucking of Emma's pelvis, which reacted to her satin lips and insistent, relentless sucking. She heard the desperate groans and grunts that Emma made, along with Emma's pathetic request - but she seemed determined to see her experiment through. Her moan died at the back of her throat, blocked off by the thick obstruction that thrust forward in natural reflex as Emma experienced an uncontrollable release.

As the vibration resonated through her, Emma's eyes rolled back while her hips went forward, and her grip on Regina's dark hair tightened. The noise that left her was almost a guttural bark before Regina's name fell from her lips in a ragged whisper. Bliss swept over her in a calm haze, and her free hand clutched the edge of the bed for support as she slumped forward, breathing heavy.

Only when Emma stilled did Regina move away and sit back on her heels, wiping her mouth and keeping her gaze trained on the floor. Her cheeks were pink with the heat of exertion and her eyes soft, wide and for a brief moment, full of pain. She delighted in giving Emma pleasure, but her mind had slipped away from the intimate moment and into the past.

It took Emma a moment to blink Regina back into focus and when she caught sight of her gazing at the floor, she took it as shame. "Regina…" Emma waited for the woman to meet her gaze, and her heart almost broke at the look on her true love's face.

Regina refused to glance up, but listened to the sounds of Emma panting, recovering from the long sustained high; after her own breathing regulated, she climbed onto the bed and dropped her head to Emma's chest. "You can touch me now," she muttered. "I want your arms around me… "

Emma's strong arms pulled Regina against her the second Emma was allowed to touch, and she buried her face against the woman's neck to breathe in her scent. "I love you." She husked warmly against olive skin, and pressed wet, lingering kisses along Regina's pulse point. Emma nuzzled her way up the woman's throat to ghost her lips against her jaw, "Come here…"

Regina molded her tiny frame into her true love's torso, and her hair pooled over Emma's chest until Emma began to kiss down the column of her neck. She wove her fingers through Emma's and exhaled an urgent "I love you too," as big arms encircled her slender waist and pulled her closer. For a long while, she watched Emma, her skin prickling pleasurably as her true love delivered tender kisses against her bare shoulder. Nothing was rushed about their lovemaking, and she let herself become wrapped up and washed away by every simple touch. "Talk to me," she whispered. "Look into my eyes and tell me what you want to do with me..."

Emma tilted her head at Regina's soft whisper, and shifted so that they were lying side by side. Her hand moved feather light down Regina's arm, along her hip and upper thigh, before tracing slowly upwards as if memorizing every dip and curve of the woman's frame. She met Regina's gaze and took a moment just to search them before whispering back, "I want to kiss every inch of you…" She shifted to press herself against Regina, then lightly guided the smaller woman onto her back so her hand could slide across Regina's lower abdomen. When she continued, her hushed words were matched with her teasingly light touches. "I want to feel you swell and throb beneath my finger tips…" Emma's fingers tickled across the short dark hair that nestled at the apex of her true love's thighs, and she smiled when she felt the slight dewy slickness that clung to them without delving deeper. "I want to taste every moan as it leaves your lips, and breathe in every sigh…" The sheriff paused then, and though she never broke eye contact, she did lick the barely there traces of Regina's arousal off her fingertips.

It would take a while for Emma's energies to return, and with words alone, Regina hoped to make Emma rampant with need by the time she was ready. "Did you like feeling my mouth on you? What else did you imagine us doing?"

Emma wet her lips nervously and fought not to look away as she whispered, "Yes." Like was an understatement, and Emma realized they both knew that as her face turned ruddy. Her hand returned to Regina's side, and she traced invisible patterns softly over her skin. "Mmm, you should answer that one first. What did you imagine us doing?"

Regina's breath caught in throat as Emma's fingers left her skin tingling and Emma continued to lick the beading moistures of arousal from her thumb. "Just... this. Taking our time for once, lying next to each other... appreciating one another." She draped her leg over Emma's side and stared into the deep green pools that were staring back at her attentively.

The smile that graced Emma's lips was soft, warm, with just the faintest hint of sadness. In the months apart, she'd regretted not appreciating their life together more. She'd never thought she hadn't at the time, but she was certain she could have relished these moments more.

Regina's nose twitched a bit naughtily and she lifted an eyebrow, with a coy, vixen smile. "That's not all. I may also have a few lewd fantasies involving some different positioning... " She might have laughed, but the weight of the moment between them caused her to take the matter more seriously than she intended. Her small foot moved up and down Emma's calf, and she rolled over to lie on top of Emma, lifting a hand to touch Emma's chin as she stretched for a kiss.

Emma gave a slight, barely restrained hum of approval at her true love's desires, and intended on giving everything she wanted. "You can't say that and not tell me. Share these positions." The sheriff demanded, her tone deliberately gruff and warm. Emma couldn't help her grin as Regina moved fluidly to cover her with her body, and her arms instinctively wove around the woman to clutch her closer as they kissed. It was slow, with teasing nips and soothing licks, until Emma pushed her tongue past Regina's lips; then it became more languid with a gradual heat to it as her hands stroked the length of Regina's back.

Regina grinned into the kiss, as her tongue mingled with Emma's and her eyelashes grew heavy, betraying her need. "I want you inside of me, Emma," she quietly admitted, glancing away. "All of you. I.. want to feel our bodies move together.." She rolled her hips forward to improve the friction of their lower bodies, and her thighs opened without much effort, granting access to Emma. Her back tensed as she felt the tip of Emma's hard cock drive into her, and she clenched her legs shut simply for the enjoyment of denying Emma. "Uh uh," she whispered, tapping her finger against Emma's lips. "Not yet." She knew Emma would protest, but she pulled away from their tangle of limbs and sat upright. "I want to be able to feel how powerful you are… take me up against the wall, or have me from behind while I'm on my hands and knees. But you must exercise restraint, and keep yourself from finishing until we're looking into each other's eyes…" As soon as she had made her proposal, she put a hand on one hip and waited for Emma to make the next move.

Emma groaned in defeat as Regina withdrew from her, but a playful smile tugged at her lips as she sat up to look at her wife. "You're going to kill me." Emma shifted onto her knees with the intent to lift Regina to the far wall, but then the rules were given, and she faltered. They'd be looking at each other in that position, so Emma swiftly changed her mind and grinned wolfishly. "It'd be a bad idea to make a joke about the mounted police, huh?" Even as her amused words rumbled out, she reached for Regina and pulled her closer to steal a kiss. It was gentle, the way the sheriff guided Regina onto her hands and knees before her, and her large hands roamed across olive skin as if she needed the contact just to breathe. From thighs to shoulders, Emma stroked and kissed, tasting the faintly sweetness of the woman's skin as she mapped the muscles beneath with her fingers.

"By all means, make as many jokes as you like, sheriff. But your uniform won't be the only thing that's blue if you continue…" In spite of her threat, Regina licked her lips as Emma showed off.

"Are you ready?" Emma husked quietly, her chest pressed against Regina's shoulder blades while two fingers parted her lover to dip into the slick warmth concealed within.

Regina allowed Emma to take the lead in positioning her and removing the scant covering from her body. "Do I feel wet enough for you?" she breathed, stealing a glance at Emma as the sheriff pushed her fingers in deeper.

Emma grazed her teeth along Regina's neck and slipped her fingers inside slowly, caressing Regina's inner walls more than thrusting, before she took her hand back to smear her true love's arousal over herself. The last thing Emma wanted to do was carelessly hurt her. Emma straightened up to position herself carefully, one large hand covered Regina's hip for leverage as she pushed through tight, warm, muscle and the groan of satisfaction that left her echoed around the room.

Regina's spine curled from the delicious ache of being entered and a soft keening moan clawed its way out of her throat at their complete union. She eased herself into Emma, until their bodies crashed together and the quick stroke of her lover inside of her sent pleasant shudders up her back. "Mmmm," she purred, and reached for Emma's hands, pulling them to her waist.

In her momentarily dazed state, it was easy for Regina to move Emma's hands where she wanted them, and the new position evoked something positively animalistic within her. Emma's fingers gripped her true love's waist firmly as she began slow, full thrusts, but it felt so exquisitely different this way. A delicious shudder ran through Emma as she picked up the pace, forcing herself harder and deeper as the wet click of arousal and smacking of skin filled the air to accompany her throaty disbelieving groan of, "Regina, you're so fucking tight…" It was possibly one of the crudest things she could have uttered in that moment, but the sheriff wasn't really consciously aware that she'd said it all. Emma's right hand snaked around Regina's waist to flatten across her stomach, then slid downwards, her long fingers parting Regina's slick folds as they searched for the swollen little bundle of nerves she enjoyed playing with so much.

If not for Emma's arms secured at her waist, Regina would have fallen forward from Emma's long, vigorous thrusts. Her cheeks were flushed and pink, but she forced her legs further apart to accommodate Emma's thickness, which was opening her tiny body; her red hot, slippery folds clung to Emma, but then gave way, granting Emma with a snug space to burrow. "… Uhhgg, you're in so deep," she whimpered, feeling Emma's insistent pumping in her lower belly. As Emma began rolling a thumb over the pulsing, sensitive bud between her thighs, her insides tensed delightfully and she gave a low, wild moan. She was so tight around Emma that it would be painful for Emma to resist release, but she slowed herself and swung her arm around to grab one of her true love's hips, bringing their movement to a halt. Spinning around, she kissed Emma on the mouth. "Make me yours," she whispered in an impassioned, but young sounding voice.

Emma could have groaned in frustration, but took she a moment to catch her breath. The love Emma had for Regina meant she'd do anything for her, and with how young her true love sounded, innocent almost, she wanted to protect her. Have her. Keep her. Forever. It came with a possessiveness she hadn't been prepared for. Emma gave a low growl in the back of her throat and forced herself to pull out of Regina; it was the sweetest form of torture she'd ever willingly submitted herself to. Emma's green eyes were wild, the pupils lust blown and the look on her face was intense. "I will." She vowed fiercely, "But first you're going to come undone for me." In the back of her mind the word restraint echoed. She'd show Regina she could do it, she'd make her proud, Emma silently promised, then moaned in delight as she pushed two fingers into the velvety liquid heat of Regina's twitching muscles. "You're close…" Emma husked in excitement, fingers curling to rub with each thrust as she brought her thumb up to circle and glide relentlessly over Regina's most sensitive area. Emma watched, captivated by the sight of Regina hungrily gripping her.

With her head canted to one side, Regina watched in a haze of lust as Emma pumped two fingers inside of her; she lifted herself to make them slide in deeper, moaning as the tips rubbed the spot that most needed their touch. Her chest heaved as, without pride, she grabbed Emma's hand and forcefully buried Emma's fingers in her greedy core as she came.

When Regina finally stilled, the sheriff pulled her against her broad chest and enveloped her in her strong arms. She peppered butterfly kisses all over Regina's face, and nuzzled at her sweat soaked skin. Once she was sure Regina had came down from her high, Emma slid her hands under her thighs to pick her up, and got off the bed fluidly. "I believe there's a wall with your name on it." Emma rumbled gruffly, and confidently strode across the room to back Regina against it. Though Emma made no attempt to enter the woman as she held her there, content to trap her hard length between their warm bodies, as she brought her mouth to her true love's ear to whisper, "You want me to come inside you, don't you?" Emma moaned, her tone like gravel and honey.

"First I want you to be thorough. Make me sore," Regina husked. "You're big for me, Emma…and I bet you like that… the way that it's almost too much…" Her sex was already raw and tender from Emma's handling of her, but she spread herself for Emma and groaned in complaint at the delay.

There was a feral undercurrent to their behavior as they each vocalized their desires. The sharp sting of Regina's nips cut through Emma's haze of lust; the flash of pain like ice to Emma's heated skin, before it too transcended to an aching, throbbing burn that fueled her on and threatened to consume her. Emma rubbed her face against Regina's neck, her shoulders, her breasts, kissing and biting as she went with a barely contained rumble of need as Regina spoke. "I do…" The sheriff all but growled out, teeth grazing against her true love's ear as she whispered wickedly, "I do like that… But I like feeling you lose control around me even more…" With Regina offering herself so desperately, an almost primal sense of urgency flooded Emma. Emma shifted just enough to be able to thrust herself forcefully into her lover; each hard rock of her hips increasingly got faster as she clung onto Regina, and her mouth latched onto the woman's throat hungrily as she hissed, "Claim me…" As much as Emma wanted Regina, she wanted to belong to Regina just as much.

Regina locked her legs around Emma's backside and broke skin with her short nails as Emma's mouth swept over a nipple. "Emma," she gustily whimpered.

Her guttural, open-mouthed groan was silenced only when their lips came together and she pushed her tongue against Emma's with fervor, but her jaw trembled when Emma set a fast pace, and she let her head drop forward onto her true love's chest. With her moisture bathing Emma's thighs, and Emma completely enveloped in her silken heat, she pressed their foreheads together and stared into unchanged, green eyes. "You are mine," she quietly declared. "My true love." Her body seemed to affirm it, as her inner walls clenched impossibly tight around Emma.

Emma answered her true love's plea the only way she could, her large hands squeezed the firm flesh they held onto and pulled her closer with every forward roll of her hips. "Mine." Emma reiterated with a low growl, breathing heavily as she locked her gaze with Regina's and watched as the woman lost herself. Emma always found her wife beautiful, but in those precious seconds when Regina was so raw and unabashed, she was breathtaking. Much like the sensation of her warm, wet muscles, clenching vice-like around her, making every thrust difficult. Painful, almost, a delicious sort of torture that she couldn't deny herself. Emma dropped her head to Regina's shoulder to rumble out fiercely, "I want you to be able to feel where I've been all day tomorrow."

Regina whined softly as she rode out the orgasm, clinging to Emma as she bucked but held on, wanting to intensify Emma's pleasure. "Come inside of me…"

Though she was on the edge, Emma still waited for those breathy words of permission before succumbing to the release they'd both been waiting for, and she had one thing on her mind. The wish she said she'd make. Emma's hips practically slammed into Regina while Emma's upper body pinned her to the wall. There was nothing eloquent in the sheriff's pleasurable groan of, "Fuck, Regina!" or elegant in the way she jerked against her, but her mind and her magic were entirely different. The windows in the room all burst open, the lights flickered, and the power line outside sparked, but all Emma noticed as she kissed and nuzzled Regina's skin was the pale golden light. "You're glowing..." Emma whispered in awe, and exhaustedly raised her head to look at her wife, and watched as the magic dimmed and vanished, as if absorbed by Regina.

Loose, ruffled hair hung in front of her face, but when Regina swept her bangs aside, she saw the tiny light flickering over her. She smiled softly and kissed Emma, shutting her eyes as the warmth of magic enveloped her. "I love you," she whispered, and placed Emma's rough palm on her stomach, above the place where their baby would grow. Her body felt damp with perspiration when she put both feet on the floor again, and her muscles ached with every step she took as she blindly headed for the bathroom.

She demanded Emma join her for a shower, and then curled up under the crisp bed covers with her true love, sleeping half on her side and draped over her wife.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Regina woke up coiled around Emma. A week passed by quickly, and every day was the same. She expected Emma would return to her true form; however, when she blinked and glanced over at Emma, her true love was still a man.

Regina made no effort to get out of bed, but she was up before the sun and turned off the alarm; she watched the clock closely, and stroked Emma's hair gently to rouse the sheriff from a deep sleep. "You'll be late for work," she whispered.

Emma made soft muffled sounds against her pillow as she awakened, a smile on her face the second she blinked Regina into focus. "Mmm. Morning..." She whispered gruffly, and just like that, the brief second of joy was extinguished as reality sunk in. It had happened again. In that sleepy middle ground of just waking up, she'd forgotten she was still stuck as a man. The sound of her voice made her wince, but she pretended it was the way she'd been sleeping as she forced herself up and out of bed. The smile she offered Regina was warm, loving, before she walked into the bathroom to get washed.

Emma was getting used to the ritual of having a cold shower before her normal hot one. Evidently her anatomy found it funny to wake up every morning before she did, and it was one on a list of many things that were getting to her. Sure she shrugged it off and laughed about it because it wasn't like she'd be a man forever. Except… With each passing day, Emma began to fear just that. What if she never turned back? She couldn't live the rest of her life like this. Although a raise in pay would be great it really didn't trump getting her body back. Every spell she'd tried the past week didn't work, and some had backfired completely. So that was why, this morning, as she stood under the chilled spray of water, her palms splayed against the tiles, she wept in the safety of the sounds filling the room.

Regina stood outside the doorway to the master bath without being noticed; her fingers were curled around the knob, and she stared unseeingly down at the floorboards as all of her focus was on the faint sound of sobbing. She knew it would only make matters worse if Emma caught her eavesdropping, so she went back to bed, put on her reading glasses and picked up the novel she kept on the night table.

Twenty minutes later, Emma was clean-shaven and sporting a deceptively happy grin as she made her way to the closet in her towel. "So are you going to work today or are you staying at home?" The sheriff slipped into her work uniform and turned around to quirk an eyebrow at Regina as her fingers fastened her shirt buttons. "Because we could grab lunch at the diner later if you wanted." Emma's hands did their customary check, belt, badge, cuffs, gun, and she let out a sigh. "You want a cup of coffee before I have to run?"

Regina ruffled her brow and frowned; if she hadn't discovered Emma crying, she wouldn't have been able to see through the sheriff's attempts to pretend like nothing was wrong. "Why don't you call David and see if he can cover for you?" she suggested, as she reached forward with both hands to take the gun from Emma's holster. She held the firearm awkwardly and gave it back to Emma when she realized she didn't know how to unload it. "I'm still not feeling well, and we have a meeting with Dr. Hopper this afternoon. I thought it might be a good idea if we talked beforehand…"

"I'll make you pancakes for breakfast," she added, to sweeten her proposal.

"Too last minute." Emma said easily, and watched, amused, as Regina handed her gun back. Emma put it into her holster after checking to make sure the safety was still on. "But I haven't forgotten about our appointment. Between Snow and the kid, I think I've had three reminders every day this week." The sheriff grabbed her wallet and her cell phone, and caught sight of the time. "Pancakes sound amazing, but I've got to go." She rumbled softly, and strode over to the bed to steal a lingering kiss. "You better rest today." Emma whispered against Regina's lips, then stood up and lightly stroked her wife's cheek. "I'll make a deal with you. I'll take off an hour before our appointment and come home. We can talk and then I'll drive us there and bring you back. Okay?"

Emma didn't have time to wait; she grimaced in apology before rushing out of the room and down the stairs.

Regina grasped nothing but air when she reached for Emma and her wife stepped out of her range. "I - fine... but - "

Emma was gone, and Regina she slipped out of bed to follow, but the front door clicked shut behind the sheriff and she could only watch from the window as the bug backed down the driveway. If not for a twisting pain in her stomach and a bout of magic induced sickness that sent her running for the bathroom, she would have driven down to Emma's office to surprise Emma with the pancakes she had offered to make.

From her place on the tiled floor of the bathroom, Regina dialed the diner's number and ordered breakfast to be sent to the sheriff's station.

Emma was sitting at her desk, staring intently at the fallen tree currently blocking the jail cells. The veins on her neck strained under her skin, and several seconds later, that fallen tree morphed back into the empty desk in front of her. "Okay…" Emma breathed out while she cracked her knuckles, "Let's see if this transformation thing works on me."

Ruby popped into the station with Regina's breakfast order, but she put down the bag she was holding and watched from afar while Emma concentrated.

Three times. Three god damn times Emma tried to turn back and each time she felt like her bones were on the verge of breaking. Sweat made her shirt stick to her body in patches, her head throbbed and her hands were shaking. Emma was livid with herself. In a fit of frustration, the sheriff had turned the stupid fucking desk back into a tree. Then she noticed Ruby. With a slow, deep breath, Emma forced herself to bury her emotions and turned to grin at Ruby.

"Still can't change back?" Ruby could practically smell Emma's desperation and crossed her arms as she took in the sight of her distraught friend. "Regina ordered you a big breakfast... maybe the fuel will help?"

"Just messing around with the new stuff I learned," Emma hastily explained. "Figured I should practice on other, non-living things first." Her gaze sought out the bag Ruby carried and the slightest smile caught the corners of her mouth. "Regina ordered me breakfast?" Little things often felt like the world to a woman who'd spent the most of her life still feeling like an orphan. "Remind me to pick up flowers later." Emma said offhandedly, and relocated herself back into her seat to please the werewolf. "We have our first appointment with Archie later but she's still feeling a little worse for the wear."

"Seems like you both are," Ruby pointed out. "I've seen you in some pretty stressful situations over the years. When you came back from Neverland, you didn't even look this bad. You're totally freaking out right now because you think you're going to be stuck like that forever." She absently handed over the bag of styrofoam containers, which held pancakes and bacon, yellow fluffy eggs, hash browns and buttery toast. Then she perched on one of the low, metal framed office chairs and glanced down at the fallen tree before deciding to use it as a footrest. "Why don't you go see the Blue Fairy? She might be a self-serving, shady ass bitch, but she's also all-powerful. Either that, or wait for Rumple to give you answers. Don't beat yourself up like this."

"Everything's fine. I've got it under control." The idea of The Blue Fairy set Emma's teeth on edge, and Rumple so far had been of little help. No, she would have to change herself back, although Ruby's concern did remind her of something. That well in the forest that August had taken her to, and that she had used as a portal when returning from the enchanted forest. Emma neglected her food in favor of grabbing her phone and typing a quick message to her wife. _Remember the well that returns things that are lost, do you think it would work on changing me back or fixing your issues with magic? Maybe we should head up there before we see Archie._

Ruby eyed the stack of unfinished paperwork on Emma's desk and frowned, realizing how preoccupied Emma must be to ignore all of her work related responsibilities. "Well, good luck this afternoon," she said, referring to the appointment with Archie. She knew about the counseling session - David, Snow and Henry were planning to eat at the diner and watch Archie's office while the session was taking place, to ensure neither Emma nor Regina would cut out early. "You sure Regina's not just faking sick to get out of the appointment? I know you're both kind of being forced into it..."

Emma opened the container of food and absently poked at it. Honestly, it looked and smelled great, but her appetite just wasn't there. She'd keep it for later, though. The subtle accusation that Regina might be pretending to be ill ruffled Emma, who shot a glare towards her friend. "Hey, she's not faking anything, and it was Regina who reminded me this morning about the appointment."

As Emma mentioned Regina, her phone buzzed with a message from her wife. _Don't you think I would have suggested that already if I thought it would work? Less TV, more practicing. I will see you later._

"I wasn't accusing her of lying," Ruby argued. "I just know the two of you and that it wasn't your decision to see Archie." She shrugged and watched Emma pick at her breakfast; in all of their years as friends, she hadn't seen Emma too despondent to eat, except for the week following Regina's announcement that she wanted a divorce.

Emma grimaced slightly, "Sorry, Ruby. I know you wouldn't accuse her." Not now, at least. During the separation her friend had been equally supportive of Emma wanting to fix her marriage as she had been suspicious of Regina. However, Ruby had made it a point to say that if Emma still trusted Regina, then so did she, even if they were in the dark about what had went wrong.

"It's cool," Ruby insisted. "Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Try to take it easy, okay? I get that you hate being a man, but it would be worse to be a dead man."

"I'll stop by later to let you know how it goes," Emma promised as Ruby headed out the door. Then she checked her text, and sighed. _Yeah, you're probably right. Didn't really want to drink from that thing again anyway._ Emma slumped in her seat and grabbed the nearest stack of paperwork. Given that she was at work, she might as well start doing some.

Four hours went by, and Emma's hand finally gave into a cramp she'd knew had been brewing from all the scrawling she'd done, but at least all of the reports for the past week were finally finished. Impulsively, she tried once more to use the spell she'd mastered on herself, and once again her body tensed in protest, her muscles tightened and her bones ached. The room blurred for a second, and Emma groaned at the pressure she felt in her skull before she heaved out a sigh and stopped. "Why can't I do this? I should be able to do this!" It was childish, of course, how she snatched up her stapler and hurled it against the wall, but her frustration was getting the better of her. Emma gave the breakfast container a longing look, but stood up and grabbed her jacket instead as her stomach gurgled in protest. Silently she told herself she'd eat later, but as she poured herself a stale cup of coffee before she left, something plinked into it. Emma frowned as another plink hit the dark liquid, then another, and she sniffed then coughed before realizing her nose was bleeding. She abandoned her coffee, pinched her nose and hurried to her desk to grab a tissue.

Later that afternoon, Emma opened the front door of the mansion with a bright smile, a little potted flower cradled in one arm and no lingering sign that she'd been bleeding at all. "Regina, I'm home, our appointment's in an hour!"

Regina did not so much as stir at the sound of Emma's voice. Her lengthened separation from Emma, combined with the effects of telling another lie by text, had brought her fever and sickness back with a vengeance. She spent the better part of her afternoon retching into a wastepaper bin when her legs became too weak to carry her back and forth to the bathroom. Around noon, she drifted into a dreamless sleep that was a welcome escape from emptying her stomach, but her raging fever made her cheeks burn and her breathing heavy.

Regina felt better when she woke; she heard Emma's clunky footfalls when the sheriff stepped into the living room. As Emma came near, she stretched her arms out and flung them around her Emma's shoulders. "Tell me what's been bothering you today," she rasped imploringly. "You've had a haunted look in those green eyes of yours."

Emma grinned warmly at Regina and let the woman pull her over to sit down. The question caught her off guard, and she faltered slightly before shaking her head. "Just feeling a bit like a failure." Emma left it open for interpretation; after all, they had no way of knowing if her wish had come true. Emma wasn't stupid; she could see the bucket next to the couch, and felt the heat of Regina's skin. Regina was ill enough without worrying about her failed attempts at shifting back to her normal form.

Regina noticed the plant tucked under Emma's arm and accepted the gift with a big smile, taking a moment to appreciate the flowers before setting it aside on the coffee table. Her smile shattered at the thought that she didn't deserve the unexpected surprise, and blood pounded through the forked vein in her forehead. "You're wrong; you are not a failure," she stated firmly. "You do nothing but clean up after me..." She hung her head in self-disgust and winced as Emma kissed her warm cheek; she wondered how she could have allowed Emma to reach this level of defeat. "Your idea about the well was a good one," she admitted. "I think you should try it."

"We'll see, it's not that important right now." Emma shrugged lightly, her concern about Regina and anxiety about their session with Archie felt more pressing than a dirty old well in a forest. Honestly, she'd rather not think about what kind of things were in it.

"I need to get dressed," Regina sighed, glancing down at her outfit; she looked like a different woman, in one of Emma's oversized man shirts. 

The sheriff chuckled at the sigh from Regina, one golden eyebrow lifted as her gaze swept over the woman's chosen attire. "Yes, get dressed, but feel free to walk around the house like that any time you want." Like hell would she complain about seeing the woman in her shirts.

Regina couldn't even muster the energy to roll her eyes. "I'll have to hurry. We mustn't keep the cricket waiting. I hear he has a date later tonight, with Chris Kee, Mulan's lucky cricket..." 

"Seriously?" Emma laughed over Archie's date, and blurted without thinking, "I wonder if they'll be chirping tonight." Emma got to her feet then offered Regina her hand to help get her up.

Regina lifted her chin and numbly took Emma's hand. "They have apparently been 'chirping' for weeks, according to Ruby. I must say - I'm shocked by Dr. Hopper's behavior. 'Chirping' before dating. It's quite out of character."

"Good for him." Emma chuckled, though her grin faltered as she heard Regina's opinion, and her face scrunched up slightly. "You go change, I'll make us some coffee, okay?" Her hand lingered on her wife's arm, squeezed lightly, before Emma walked off towards the kitchen.

Regina took comfort in Emma's lingering touch, and once Emma disappeared with the promise of brewing a pot of coffee, she headed for the stairs.

Dressing took longer than usual, due to the extra effort it required. She chose a form fitting black dress and a matching suit jacket, along with a pair of black, heeled boots. Before hurrying downstairs, she opened the drawer by her bedside and located the two delicate vials, which were filled with clear liquid. The clicking of her shoes preceded her into the kitchen, and she tucked the vials up her sleeve as she moved around the countertop. She would have poured the potions into Emma's coffee right then, if fear hadn't brought her to a complete, quavering standstill. "Will you drive, or shall I?"

Emma hid her smile at the sight of Regina behind her mug of coffee, and finished it off in two large gulps. "I'll drive." Emma stated cheerfully, and twirled her keys. "I've decided, whatever we talk about in there, if it's great or if it sucked, we're going to the diner for pancakes straight after." It was said in that kind of confident way Emma often declared things, as if whatever troubles faced them, pancakes would make it better.

Once Regina had finished her coffee, Emma grabbed her own jacket and slung it over her shoulders; she didn't bother zipping it up as she ushered Regina outside. The drive was mere minutes, and the anxiety they felt seemed to magnify in such a small confined space until it threatened to choke them; so Emma opened her window. Then they were there, nervously standing outside the door, wide eyed as they looked at each other. "Pancakes," Emma said with a nod, and then knocked on the door before either of them suggested they leave.

Regina's forehead broke out in a cold perspiration and she was wringing her hands with some regularity by the time Dr. Hopper appeared. She dreaded the questions he would ask, and the way he'd try to put their troubles into perspective; more often than not, his observations were spot-on, and she feared the worst for their first session.

Dr. Hopper greeted them casually in a tweed vest and his large, round glasses that made him seem even more bug-like. She took a seat on the far end of the couch and stared into the crackling fire that the cricket had started in the hearth.

With a gentle smile, Dr. Hopper drew up a chair across from the couple and invited them to make themselves comfortable. "New couch," he added. "I like this one better than the last."

Regina did not bother to dignify his carefully worded remark with one of her own. They both knew what happened to his last couch: death by fireball, after her last attempt to seek out his counseling services.

Emma had no idea why Archie had purchased a new couch, but she did agree, she liked it more when she sat down on the plush surface and sank into it pleasantly. Her legs splayed in the natural stance as Emma rested her forearms on her thighs. Some things, it seemed, never changed.

Archie watched the pair closely, took in the obvious anxiety, and the way Emma subtly shifted so that her leg touched the Regina's. Body language, he had learned, was just as important as all the things said, and unsaid. The smile he offered them was gentle as he lifted a large note pad and took a pen into his hand. "Now…" He said, as he crossed his leg and balanced the pad against the arm of his chair, "How can I help you?"

Emma immediately turned to look at Regina, bemused, then focused on Archie. "Aren't you supposed to tell us how you can help?" The sheriff blurted with her usual lack of tact. "I mean, everyone else thinks we need to be here, and yeah maybe we should have before, but we're working on stuff now." Emma's large hand blindly moved to find Regina's, and clasped it tightly.

Silence lingered as Archie watched them, then he nodded softly. When he spoke his voice was delicate, coaxing almost as he leaned forward slightly. "Clearly you two have been, ah, reconnecting as of late and that's fantastic progress. However I'd rather we start at the beginning, and work our way forward to this point in time. Why don't we explore where things went wrong, previously?"

Emma frowned slightly, and shifted uncomfortably as she shrugged. "We know where we went wrong. Can't we skip that part?"

Archie's classic, genial smile grew wide at Emma's suggestion and he wiped his glasses on a cloth he kept close by for that purpose. "If you want. We can do whatever makes you most comfortable. Tell me where you would like to begin."

Regina, for her part, was staring intently into the fire, as if wondering how to make it burn hotter; her eyes flashed darkly at Dr. Hopper's proposal and it appeared as though she had no intention of participating, until her mouth opened and she softly explained, "Henry wanted us to come. We're here for our son."

"Right," Archie quietly replied, using a modulated tone that had been known to put Regina and Emma at ease. "Henry tells me that you've been trying to have another child. Why don't we begin there? Had you been planning for this before your separation?"

Emma squirmed and brought one large hand up to her face. Of course the kid never thought to keep that to himself. Jesus, of all the things she'd thought they'd talk about, having another baby hadn't been one of them. Frankly it felt incredibly awkward to be sitting there across from the man, while being a man. The knowledge of their personal activities filled the space in between.

"No," Emma stated quickly, because they hadn't been planning it. Hell, that whole topic was complicated, and Emma was starting to twitch her gaze towards the door. "But we are trying. Why? What's that got to do with anything?"

Archie wasn't put off with the blunt way Emma questioned him; in all honesty he'd come to expect it from both of Henry's mothers, because he knew under it lurked vulnerability, not hate. "Well, is the desire for a child being used to mend the bond between you both, or are you mending the bond because you want a child? What do you think?"

Emma frowned down at the rug her booted feet restlessly tapped upon, and heaved out a sigh. They both wanted the kid, but that didn't mean they weren't working on fixing things between them. "We're not having a kid to try and fix things. It's not some kind of human glue." Why did she say that? Disgust washed over her features as she shook her head and muttered, "We're fixing things because we want to be together, and we want a stable environment for our kids."

Archie gave a soft nod, but before he shared his opinion on what had been said, he focused on Regina to quietly ask, "And what do you think, Regina?"

Regina swallowed hard and rolled her wet eyes away from the fire, towards Hopper and then towards the window, which was frosted over with snowflakes.

"Shortly after our anniversary last year, I found out that I was pregnant," she admitted in a gravelly voice. "Rumple… confirmed it, and also confirmed my worst fears and suspicions - that the pregnancy could have unforeseen and devastating consequences. Children begotten of magic are known to be dangerous. They aren't like children who are simply born with magical gifts. They are usually seers, disturbed outcasts, or sorcerers of the worst kind. I've never heard of a magical birth that did not result in destruction. So, I made a choice."

"I terminated the pregnancy on my own. My body, my decision," Regina stated with conviction. "It should have been as simple as that. But I didn't stop to think about whether or not I wanted the child. I didn't think about the child at all. All I saw was the looming threat." She hardly registered the weight of Emma's hand clasping her own, or how Dr. Hopper was looking at her in a pitying, understanding way that maddened her. "I didn't think that the child…would be just that – innocent. I left Emma in the dark, and when I started to regret what I had done, I pushed her away. And then to make matters worse, I lied to her."

The surprise of Regina opening up was short lived due to the new information she shared, and Emma's wide green eyes locked onto the woman as her lips parted in disbelief. "You never told me children born of magic turn out like that," she whispered. Emma's head tipped back and her breath hitched slightly as she muttered, "You only said you had to believe that any child we had together would be good." Emma frowned; she wasn't angry, just suspicious. "What do you mean you lied to me, is this the lie I know about?" There had been several over the months, but with the way Regina appeared to keep things to herself, Emma honestly wasn't sure if she knew about it or not.

Regina sensed Archie's gaze boring into her, and she heard Emma's quiet, confused questions, but she kept looking straight ahead. "I want this child," she whispered with certainty. "Not as a replacement, and not because I think he or she will be the key to saving my marriage. The baby will be an embodiment of my love for Emma, but not the solution to all of our problems."

"I'm afraid of what might happen when the child grows up," Regina reluctantly added, "But we raised Henry, and so I have to believe that we'll know how to handle whatever challenges come our way."

She disentangled herself from Emma and went to stand by the fire, where she was warmer and didn't have to watch Dr. Hopper's shifting expression.

Emma sat bewildered, waiting for Regina to acknowledge her, but that moment didn't come.

Dr. Hopper cleared his throat, because in all of his sessions with Regina, he'd never had an easy time communicating with her. He was stunned by the sudden change in the woman he thought he'd known so well, but he also suspected that Regina wouldn't be so forthcoming with all of the details of her relationship with Emma, unless there was another layer of complication she was trying to avoid. It was a tactic he recognized from their previous discussions, that when she seemed to be confiding the most in him, it was born out of a desperate need to conceal some more troubling concern. Given the magnitude of what Regina had just divulged, he was deeply worried and put on high alert by the mayor's behavior. "I'm sorry," he breathed out. "I was just taking a moment to reflect on all that you said. It… seems, that in spite of all you've been through and the loss you are currently mourning, you both have a healthy outlook about bringing a second child into your lives."

He picked up on Emma's discomfort and body language – Emma looked like she wanted to retreat, and if ever there came a time for her to learn Regina's 'poofing' spell, he would bet his services would be a great teaching aide to make that possible.

"That said," Archie sighed, "you have a lot of important work to do as a couple. Ultimately I think your difficulties come down to a matter of trust. It has not been easy for you to trust one another, and I want to ask you both to consider why that might be. You've been in life or death situations where you've had to completely depend on your partner. You've raised a polite and respectable young man together. And you've gone from being enemies to close friends. Now you're sharing your lives with each other. Why, after overcoming all of these obstacles, is trust still an issue? Emma, I'd like you to go first."

Emma sighed. On one hand, Regina opening up proved to the sheriff that she truly wanted to mend their broken marriage; on the other, it meant it was her turn to talk. With Regina standing away from her, Emma shifted uncomfortably where she sat and chewed her lips as she thought. "I know what you're saying, and yeah it's true, I trust Regina with my life. I know she trusts me with hers, but that's… That's not what you're asking, is it?"

Archie didn't say anything as he tipped his head, allowing Emma to work through her own thought process. The conclusions she'd came up with herself would be better than any he tried to placate her with.

Long minutes passed before Emma cleared her throat and dared vocalize what ran through her mind. "I love Regina with everything I am, and I do trust her, more than anyone else in my life but I think… I think, because of how we were raised, the person we struggle to trust the most is ourselves." The sheriff wet her lips and kept her gaze trained on Pongo, who helpfully pounced onto the couch to half sprawl across her lap. Emma smiled at the animal, and gently scratched behind his ears. "She knows I'd do anything for her, but trusting that, when your mind tries to tell you that you can't trust anyone? I think we're blocking ourselves. I know I have hang-ups over being an orphan, the things of my past. I know Regina has her own demons that belong in the past, but how do you… How do you get rid of them, when they're just ghosts in your own mind? You know? I want Regina to be able to talk to me, and know it that whatever it is, it won't stop me from loving her. I want to be able to say whatever's on my mind and not convince myself out of it because some part of me fears that she'll look at me the way all those foster families did. Just see this broken, hollow little girl that they want to toss aside because there will always be someone better, and I don't mean I think she'd ever do that but in my mind… Fear isn't always rational."

Regina could no longer stand the heat from the fire, but when she returned to the couch, Pongo occupied her place; she stared the Dalmatian down for a long moment, until deciding that there was room enough for the both of them. She sat down next to the dog, watching him paw the air and nuzzle into her. There had been times when she was left alone in Archie's office with Pongo, and she gave his canine companion a nice long belly rub, but in the presence of Emma and Archie, she only scratched behind the dog's ears. Only when Emma began to talk about trust did she bristle over Emma's assumptions. "In my case, the past has absolutely nothing to do with it," she throatily insisted, though it was another lie. "I trust you, Emma, but I lied to protect you from a harsher reality. I knew that kicking you out of our home would hurt you, but also that it would hurt far less than the truth."

Emma was left reeling from the hard-hitting words; she jerked back and the sudden movement caused Pongo to retreat back to his padded bed. "Look I didn't mean to speak for you but I think it's obvious that kicking me out hurt just as much as what you felt you couldn't tell me," she breathed out shakily. Those months were torture."

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like an unwanted orphan," Regina whispered. "From now on, I'll do my best to allay your fears, and to make you comfortable enough to confide in me…"

"And will you confide in her, Regina?" Archie unhelpfully interrupted. She gave him a menacing look, but all he did was smile unthreateningly and wipe at his glasses again. "It seems like you lied for what you consider noble reasons, but now you know that those lies hurt Emma. She's telling you that she already worries about the possibility of you rejecting her for being honest about how she feels. I'm guessing it's harder, Emma, when Regina deliberately avoids telling the truth? Maybe it makes you feel like rejection is imminent, because without that open communication, you're left to assume the worst--"

"Then perhaps she shouldn't make assumptions," Regina argued.

"Assumptions are terrible," Archie agreed. "But isn't that what you do, when you conclude that Emma won't be able to handle the truth? You're making an assumption about how Emma will respond to you."

Emma listened to Archie with an increasing frown deepening across her forehead. She wanted to agree with the man and point out that Regina had avoided the actual question, but Regina cut in first.

Regina stiffened and crooked her head to the side, nostrils flaring as she stared down at the carpeting. "I think I'm finished with today's session," she growled, and abruptly vanished in a cloud of purple smoke.

Archie's eyes softened as he looked to Emma, who no doubt thought the session would have a very different end. "Maybe you'd like to talk about your childhood? Your time in foster care. It doesn't have to be today, but I think discussing those experiences might help you understand some of the struggles you're having in your adult life."

Emma slumped forward, pressing her hand against her forehead, before she rubbed her palm across her short hair and stood up. "Yeah, I don't think so, Archie… Sorry for wasting your time." There were hints of defeat lacing the sheriff's tone, and she shook her head before heading towards the door. Only, as her hand reached for the handle, she faltered. Before Regina had taken her back, she'd been making some pretty steady progress on working on herself, so why should she stop now? Without turning around, Emma quietly stated, "If you're free this time tomorrow…" That was all she managed to say before her throat closed, so she pushed her way through the door and left.

Regina wasn't in the car, and frankly that didn't surprise Emma. The silence weighed heavy on her shoulders as she drove, and the emotions she felt were quietly brewing under the surface. Why the hell had Regina just vanished like that? The way Regina snapped at her had hurt, and felt slightly humiliating, since it was done in such a way that it was like being put in her place in front of Archie. Emma might be a woman stuck in a man's body, but she sure as hell wasn't a damn child. She drove past the diner and decided she couldn't stomach pancakes, nor did she want to be bothered by anyone. So the sheriff returned to work.

The sight of the fallen tree pissed her off, and she turned it immediately back into the desk it was supposed to be. In the back of her mind a tally list was being made. Can't fix your marriage. Can't fix yourself. Can't get Regina to open up. Can't stop your parents from interfering. Can't even switch yourself back. You're not a savior. You're a joke, and everyone in town is laughing. Emma grabbed the empty vase on her desk and hurled it against the wall with enough force that it shattered brilliantly, but barely dented her rising anger.

By the time five o'clock arrived, and David showed up for his shift, the sheriff had broken the spare desk twice, and used magic to return it back to normal without so much as a scratch. Nobody had witnessed her melt down, and even if they had, right then she didn't care. "Slow day, as usual," Emma muttered by way of greeting, and left before her father could ask how things were.

Emma left her car where it was and headed down the street to the diner. If Regina had wanted to talk, she'd have called the station, but hours of silence had been clear enough for Emma. Without so much as scanning the crowd, Emma situated herself on one the seats at the counter, and flagged Ruby down. "Double scotch," she muttered, grateful that the diner was too busy for the woman to stand around and chat.

Ruby raised her eyebrows at her friend, but grabbed the bottle of scotch and filled a glass to the brim. "You want to talk about it?" she asked, although she would take bets that Emma's bad mood was linked to the afternoon therapy session. "Regina was in here earlier. She sat in your usual booth for half an hour. I figured she was waiting for you." She pushed the scotch across the counter to Emma and then gestured at a family of three in the corner. "Have to take a few orders, but I'll be back."

Emma knocked back half her glass of scotch in two large gulps, and let it scorch down to her stomach before she breathed again.

As Ruby bustled off, the door opened and Chris Kee stepped inside, rubbing his gloved hands together. He wore smart, professional clothes, but when he spotted the fresh cookies behind Granny's counter, his eyes lit up childishly and he wandered over to the counter. "Chocolate chip, please," he told Granny, who wrapped his treat in wax paper and handed it over. He paid at the register, and was on the verge of leaving when he glanced down and saw Emma. "Hey," he said, his voice spiking in shock. "Uh, Sheriff Swan, it's you, right? You look different, but still somehow the same. Anyway, I've been meaning to talk to you. I should have come by your house. I'm really sorry about the near-accident we had months ago. I swear, I didn't even see you running across the street. It was pretty dark, and I was distracted by the commotion outside of Gold's shop. Are you okay?"

To be fair, Emma hadn't spent much time with Chris Kee, so when he started talking, initially she took it that he had her mixed up with someone else. Though she did nod to say that she was, in fact, the sheriff. "I'm fine, but I think you have me confused with someone else." Emma offered him a polite smile and downed the rest of her scotch. Her careful fingertips pushed it across the counter but she shook her head at Granny when the older woman offered a refill and opened her wallet instead to slap a few bills down that would more than cover the drink. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she added, when his expression reflected the puzzlement she herself felt.

Chris frowned in bewilderment and sat down on the stool next to Emma's to chew his chocolate chip cookie. "You don't remember? I veered off to the side of the road and blew out a tire. You stopped to talk to me..." He pulled out his smart phone and flipped through his pictures until he found one of the ruined tires on his car. "I mean, you were in a rush... but... look. Maybe this will spark your memory?"

Ruby wandered back over with a tray full of dishes, which she popped into the kitchen before hurrying back to Emma. She grinned at Chris and leaned over to the counter to get a look at his cell phone. "Pictures of Archie?" she asked.

Chris laughed shyly and gave Ruby the phone so that she could take a look at his vehicle damage. "Nah, just some photos of my car from the night I nearly ran the savior down. When I'm behind the wheel of my Cadillac, I'm more dangerous than an ogre. But I manage to eek by on sheer luck."

"Yeah, I remember that," Ruby sighed. "That was the night you and Regina had that big fight, Em. Gold was worried enough to call your mom and Dad. They called me and I helped track you down."

Emma shook her head, frowning as Chris sat down next to her. What the hell was he talking about? Emma searched her brain and came up blank. However, as she paused to really look at the pictures, the strangest wave of dejá vú hit her. Then a flash of an image in her mind, a blurred snippet of the Cadillac, bright headlights, then nothing. Emma's stomach lurched and her large hands grasped the counter as she sucked in a breath. What the fuck had that been?

Shaken, the sheriff's attention snapped back to Ruby, and her face conveyed the complete confusion she felt. "You remember this?" Emma asked, exasperated, then blinked a few times as she held her hands up. "Whoa back up, what the hell are you talking about? I never had a fight with Regina in the middle of the street, and why the hell would Gold ever be worried if we were fighting?" Emma snorted at the thought of Ruby tracking her down, and moved to stand up. "Whatever joke this is, it isn't---"

Emma swayed then went rigid as if struck by some kind of invisible force. Other images flashed through her mind, out of order and confusing. Chris standing outside his car. Gold across the street. The gates to the mansion. Gold and Regina a few feet away. The Rabbit Hole. Then nothing. Emma struggled to breathe as she blinked Ruby and Chris back into focus. Emma felt sick, her blood boiled but she was shivering, and a cold sweat had broken out across her skin. "I-I need to…"

Emma wasn't entirely sure what she needed to do, but she sure as hell shot out of the diner like a bullet. Emma took off running, her long fingers tugged at the collar of her shirt to rip open the buttons. Why the fuck couldn't she breathe? Breathe, breathe, just breathe. Flickers of memory gave her a haunted guide as ghosts of past events played out in her mind. Emma ran across the street, and the memory of Chris narrowly avoiding her flourished to life. She ran to where she vaguely remembered Chris and his flustered apologies. Another memory hit, the reason why she'd been running, Gold and Regina… On and on, brief snippets flooded her mind as she raced around town retracing her footsteps, until she couldn't run any longer, and threw up outside Gold's shop.

The curb underneath Emma's feet was splattered with yellow vomit that stank of alcohol, and the sight of it brought on a flashback of Regina sprawled out on the floor of her crypt.

The mayor was lying on her back with her legs splayed awkwardly, stockings soaked through with a dark spot of blood. Regina's hand was coated red and she was shaking, but she used all of her strength to pull away when Emma raced to her and reached for her, bending at her side.

Gold appeared in a puff of pink smoke and knelt beside Regina, palms radiating a bright light, while his face revealed all of his concern and frustration. "Why did you do this?" he asked, both amazed and disturbed by Regina's rash choice. "There was no guarantee that the child would turn out to be a monster! You needn't worry about the Black Fairy… she is gone. You owe her no debts."

Regina weakly lifted her head, eyes gushing tears as she slowly stretched out her fingers to touch Emma's wrist. "It's because I separated you from your parents," she muttered. "I took a child, so I must give one. An old fairy law, and a condition of the curse..."

"I can never have a child," Regina sobbed. "I can't! I can't…"

Rumple eased the queen's physical discomfort, but he knew the woman's pain was emotional. "Take her home," he told Emma. "I'll explain all to you in the morning, but right now, get her home and into bed. I'm sorry about your child, if you can call it that…"

The next memory was clearer, and happened in the cold winter morning light. Rumple sat across the counter from Emma and instructed her to take a seat. "A key ingredient of the curse was provided by The Black Fairy, who had an interest in corrupting powerful children that would eventually grow into adults committed to serving her. As payment for this ingredient, I did the fairy's bidding and brought her vulnerable souls… your Uncle James included. The Black Fairy had a particular interest in you, long before you even took your first breaths. She wanted you - dead or alive. I promised you to her, but I had a certain knowledge she lacked. I was sure you'd get away, because I absorbed the magical energies of the fairy's most powerful seer. Yet it seems that the Black fairy had a failsafe in place – to cast the dark curse, Regina needed to end your life. Not only because you were to grow up to undo the curse, but also because the fairy required it. It so happens that Regina didn't arrive in time to kill you, but you were sent away to this land, an environment where you lost touch with your magic. So, you are not dead, but you are in some ways as helpless as a child while you're learning to harness all of your gifts. I believe you were a threat to the Black Fairy, and she aided me not only because she wanted my assistance in procuring corruptible souls, but because she wanted you out of her hair. As for Regina, well… in separating you from your family, she cursed her own unborn children. Fairies always demand such payment. Taking a child means giving one in return. That is the rule."

Rumple's face flickered like a mirage, and in the flash of memory, Emma was suddenly lying in bed propped up against two pillows. Henry held out a mug of hot chocolate with steam wafting off of the top, even though the drink felt colder against Emma's lips than it ought to be. "Mom wanted me to bring this to you. Will you tell me what's going on? It's been days since you two talked. I'm really worried."

Henry sank down on the bed next to her, but before Emma replied to him, he slipped out of focus and the entire room went dark. This time, when her memories shifted, it was Regina next to Emma in bed, and Emma couldn't recall why they'd been fighting. Emma's arm was wrapped snugly around her wife, but Regina flinched away from all of her tender advances and gasped when she felt Emma's hand on her backside. "Not tonight," she whispered. "Please, Emma."

Regina's hushed words were soft, sorrowful.

Then a new memory struck like a flash of lightning, splitting the sky and making everything clear. Regina was fighting Emma, both of her fists raised to strike while Emma tried to grab and restrain her. "I won't calm down!" Regina shouted with what she seemed to think was conviction, although every word was a choked sob. "It's true – I don't want you to touch me! You – you – it's your fault! You got me pregnant, Emma. With magic. You can't remember, because I took your memories…and If I have to, I'll take them again."

All at once, the memories that Regina stole settled back into Emma's mind, and she returned to the present, where she was hunched over in front of Gold's shop.

"Emma?"


	10. Chapter 10

Rumple stood at Emma's side, his hand on the small of her back; she looked much smaller than he remembered, wearing men's clothing. "Emma, come on inside with me." He guided Emma into the pawnshop and into the back room, where he helped her into an armchair. "Belle, please bring a cup of tea… "

Belle took one look at Emma and scrambled for the teapot, which was already full and waiting. She poured a cup of tea, put in a cube of sugar and offered it to Emma.

Though Emma was awake she felt stuck in a dream as Rumple helped her to a seat and Belle gently pushed a warm cup of tea into her hands. Emma breathed, and blinked, but did nothing else as she stared at the table in front of her. It was safe to say she hadn't realized her own transformation back into a woman, either, as shock clouded her senses. She remembered… She remembered everything. Regina's sobs, and how she pulled away from her touch, the blood. Thick, wet droplets on the floor, on Regina, so dark… That was when she backed out of the crypt, away from the sights, the sounds, and the coppery smell of crimson.

Ruby had found her, hours later, wandering through the forest in the dead of night. No flashlight, no conscious destination in mind - where she was going didn't matter, so long as it was away…

Emma hadn't talked to Ruby as she led her back to the road and drove her home. In fact, Emma hadn't spoken the entire weekend, except the brief moments when her son demanded her attention. Even then, it was only a few words, before she retreated back to the guest bedroom where she'd taken up temporary residence.

She'd needed time to think. To process the fact that there could be some seriously real danger out there that wanted her dead, and nobody, not even her wife had bothered to tell her. And she'd gotten Regina pregnant and just when she found out, that pure sense of unrestrained joy was ripped apart by her wife. Emma hadn't even realized she wanted another child until she knew she was about to have one, and to lose it in the same day felt devastating. Though even through all that, she still let herself worry over what would happen if they did have a kid in the future, because she wanted one. She knew that now, despite Regina saying she couldn't just because that stupid fucking fairy wanted it. Or her. What if it came after Henry instead? Fuck!

She was the savior, though; she could protect her family. She would protect her family. So why hadn't Regina told her any of this? Why had she kept her in the dark about the dangers they faced, and the potential for children, and just, fuck, why couldn't she talk to her?

She'd just needed time to work through it in her head. Except, she didn't get the time, did she? The sheriff could forgive the fights, she could forgive being banished from her home, the whole dealings with the divorce, even the fact that Regina had lied to her - but this? Messing with her memories? Her brain? "I have to go." Emma said absently, her light tone completely at odds with how abruptly she got to her feet. The tea spilled down her shirt as she passed the cup off to Belle.

Then the most surprising thing happened. She vanished in a cloud of bright light.

Emma's white glow slashed the darkness like a sword cutting an opening in a black dress.

Startled, Regina bolted upright in bed and stared at Emma with wide, frightened eyes. She had only seen Emma look this way once before, on the day that the curse ended; she remembered Emma seizing her and shoving her into a closet at the hospital, and how she had been covered in bruises shaped like Emma's rough hands. Hurts that she knew she deserved.

She didn't shrink away from Emma, even though she expected a fight that would come to blows - only this time it appeared that Emma had powerful magic to use against her. "Your magic," she stuttered out, but that was all she could say before losing her nerve.

Emma was in no mood for congratulations, and Regina faltered when Emma closed in on the bed. "I'm sorry," she squeaked out in desperation. "I prepared the potion for myself, but I used it on you! I thought... When you didn't speak to me for days, I thought you would take our son and leave. I needed you. At any cost, I needed you."

"That's just the thing Regina, you didn't use it, you got our son to give me it!" The windows shattered and exploded outwards, the blankets on the bed whipped away in a fierce wind, and Emma grabbed Regina by the arms and swung her out of bed. "OUR SON!" Emma screamed, and there was no doubt in her mind that the boy had no idea what had been put in the cocoa. Her pale hands scrambled to grab onto Regina as rage worked through her veins like venom, poisoning the rational side of her while her left hand snaked viciously around the smaller woman's right wrist. "You needed me so much you THREW ME OUT!" The lights within the house flickered, the cables outside swung and sparked, and Emma forced Regina hard against the wall with her right forearm across her throat. Their faces were inches apart as Emma shrieked, eyes wild and teeth bared, "I was working it out! The lies, the danger, the pregnancy, your actions - I was this close to understanding it all, to forgiving you for everything. EVERYTHING!" Emma spat out, pushing against Regina, her hand tightening vice like around her wrist.

"But you couldn't do it, could you? Could you?! You lied to me for weeks, you kept part of the curse a secret FOR YEARS, and you couldn't give me three fucking days!" Emma swung herself away from Regina to pace the bedroom floor, her arms swinging erratically in anger as she yelled, "You know, no matter what the monsters of my past took from me, I could at least sleep at night knowing they'd never get to violate my mind, and then you raped it. Twice! Because you fucked up didn't you, when you were blaming me for everything in your office! MY WIFE!"

The lights up and down the block began to flicker on and off. House by house, they blinked along with the street lights, like a desperate S.O.S.

Emma noticed nothing as she fought the tears that stung her angry eyes and snarled out, "Were you ever going to tell me? We were trying for another kid! At any point did you never stop to think how wrong that is? What was the plan, keep my memories until I'm on my death bed?" Emma's white face slowly began to redden due to the trickle of blood that began to run from her nose, yet as she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth, she didn't seem to notice or care. Her dark, angry eyes only saw Regina.

"Do you even understand what you've done?" Emma shouted, her throat raw from the volume of it, "How am I ever meant to trust my own mind again, Regina? How am I meant to trust anything? Anyone?" Emma's tone was hysterical as she marched towards Regina, both hands grabbed the front of her shirt to shake the woman violently, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I'd have stood by you through anything, anything, and you'd rather alter my mind than talk to me!"

Emma let go of Regina to once again pace, her head whipping to the side as if she couldn't comprehend why this was happening. "I gave you everything!" She screeched, the taste of copper on her lips, "You were the one person, the one person I could always trust, my true love!" Emma hissed scornfully.

Regina let her head fall back against the wall in defeat and her solemn but runny eyes bravely locked with Emma's – she owed it to Emma not to look away in the face of all of the horrible but true accusations.

She endured the thrashing Emma gave her without complaint, although her wrist twisted the wrong way and throbbed painfully. As Emma took hold of her and shook her forcefully, Regina's lip quivered and she pressed a hand over her mouth to quiet a sob.

"I thought I was protecting you by erasing that traumatic memory," Regina quietly argued. "Taking a great burden off your shoulders by removing that gruesome image of me. You couldn't even deal with it when it was happening! You left me there alone with Rumple and wandered off into the woods! You had no trouble accepting the gift I gave you before, when I replaced all of your memories and you went off to live in New York for a year. But that time I acted with your consent. I didn't realize that this was different or wrong until I started to process everything myself. I was grieving and you were completely oblivious. I tried to give your memories back to you several times, but whenever I came close to doing it, I remembered how you stared at me the night that I ended the pregnancy. You always looked at me with such adoration. But when you found me on the floor in a pool of blood, you didn't see me lying there. You saw Her."

Regina wrapped her arms in front of her and stayed against the wall, lest Emma decide to grab her again. "The vials containing your memories are in the nightstand, along with a letter I planned to give you. I came back here and wrote it after our session." With a straining deep breath, she set off across the room to open the drawer. She left the items she mentioned in plain sight, on top of the mattress. Then she fixed her ragged appearance, pulling down her shirt, which became tangled and rumpled from grappling with Emma.

"My love," the letter began, "It is time I returned these to you. I took them without asking, but please know that I had all of your best interests at heart when I relieved you of these memories. I wanted to shelter you from a painful truth, but I came to realize there is no greater violation of your trust. I am truly sorry…"

Regina reached out to take the paper before Emma could read further. "Tell me what to do," she begged. "Please, I'll do anything… whatever it takes to fix this."

Emma's anger was wet, and it leaked from her eyes as much as her nose. Sticky crimson smeared pale fingers that trembled as the woman struggled to breathe. The magic that resonated within Emma grew to affect the next block; car alarms, garden sprinklers, and garage doors all went nuts. The sheriff's magic was as unstable as her current emotions.

Emma loathed the fact that her hand was shaking as she lifted the letter to read. Her face betrayed her mixed emotions by softening, and her chin wobbled slightly as she sucked in a ragged breath. Silent tears spilled thickly from her eyes and she backed away when Regina reached for the paper. It floated back to the bed as Emma threw her arms up just to bring them roughly down against her own thighs like a child caught in the throes of a tantrum. A wounded, angry snarl clawed its way up her throat and forced its way out of her mouth.

"You'll do anything?" Emma's mind was racing, the inside of her skull throbbed and she felt slightly dizzy from the pressure. "Is that why you were messing around with that book, you know the one that turned me into a man for weeks!" Emma's accusatory tone was livid as she realized the implications. "That was the morning you opened up to me... " Emma froze for a second, then curled her hands into fists, her skin looking waxy and pale. "What were you going to do Regina, wipe my memory a third time?"

One by one the streetlights up and down the street popped and shattered like twinkling, dying, confetti.

"No!" Regina cried. "I was looking for a way to save our child. It's not possible to raise the dead, but a life lost before it's even begun is a bit different." She tipped her head down to peer at her feet and avoid the infuriated look of disgust on Emma's face. "I hoped there was a magical way to undo my mistake, so that you might be able to forgive me some day, but all I did was make matters worse."

Her grievous eyes followed Emma, watching Emma's every violent and passionate move. With her arms tucked tightly around herself, she waited for Emma to come to a stop before stepping in and taking gentle hold of Emma's arm. "Let me see your nose," she requested, and cautiously pinched the bridge of it with her fingertips. "It's bleeding."

Regina rested her other hand on her side and then shifted it to the place where she had plunged her fist inside to rip out the life budding within her. She glanced down suddenly, overtaken by the sensation of blood painting her fingers and a small, pulsing heartbeat that thump, thump thumped wildly as if it was afraid.

She blinked and realized that it was blood that leaked from Emma's nose on her fingertips, and that the frightened heartbeat she felt was her own. Her lashes fluttered over her damp eyes as she gravitated closer to Emma and drew in a shuddery breath. "I won't argue with you. What I did was despicable, and I fully admit I was in the wrong, regardless of my original intentions. I was unnecessarily cruel to you and I pushed you away instead of taking the responsibility for my own actions." She licked her lips and her dangling earrings swung as she flicked her gaze away.

"I'll give you whatever you want. If you want revenge, take it. If you want a divorce, I'll sign the papers tomorrow... "

Though Emma remained silent, it said more than she wanted to say when she stilled momentarily for Regina's gentle fingers to pinch her nose. Right then she was beyond furious with her wife, but Goddamn it, she still fucking loved her, and that? Messed with her head even more. Emma's green eyes narrowed menacingly as Regina offered up the idea of revenge, and even as she took half a step closer, Emma knew she wouldn't. She couldn't. There would be some kind of sick pleasure in throwing the divorce back at her wife, but she couldn't decide if that was what she wanted, or if she'd be doing it out of spite.

"Urgh!" The throaty groan threatened to tear her vocal cords as Emma threw her hands in the air and shouted, "You're unbelievable! I can't even - This is - I…" Emma sputtered, completely infuriated as she walked in a circle then yanked the bedroom door open. Though she spun to point at Regina, her lips forming a tight white line as her chest heaved. "If you ever use magic on me again without my consent…" She couldn't find the words to finish the sentence, but the threat alone was enough. Wherever she'd been about to go was delayed as she marched back into the room to stuff her sock clad feet into her old boots.

Then she about turned and stormed out of the bedroom, her feet thundering down the stairs. The front door slammed shut so viciously it shook the glass in the side panels but then there was a shriek in the garden. Followed by loud cursing, and the very distinct sound of a branch snapping.

Emma stood, panting, at the foot of the tree that had attacked her, a thick branch crackled and burned at her feet, orange embers swirled in the breeze. The glow from her hands was the only light outside on the whole block. "I'm not taking any more of this shit!" Emma screamed at the tree, which appeared to cower now that it had a limb less.

Regina stood at the window while Emma destroyed her precious tree, but she made no attempt to come to its rescue, even as a thick branch burned and shriveled. She observed Emma's rampage until she was certain Emma's teeth were chattering from the cold. Only then did she descend the stairs to find Emma's warm coat and take it out to her. She wrapped herself in a thick wool coat and scarf, and went into the kitchen to brew coffee, which she put into a thermos before heading outside.

"I see you started a fire to keep yourself warm," she remarked. "But I thought you'd appreciate your coat and a hot beverage." She squinted to make out Emma's expression in the pitch dark. The glowing embers from the tree did little to provide them with light, even when they stood huddled close to one another. "Go on," she stated, holding out the coffee. "There's nothing in it that will affect you, aside from the caffeine." She couldn't help her choice of words, and cringed as she handed over the thermos and the insulated jacket.

Emma turned slowly to glare at Regina in the darkness. The almost jovial quip did nothing but fan the flames of Emma's anger and her hands coiled tightly around the flask and her jacket respectively, though she made no move to use either. Instead she stood there, under the barely there presence of the moon, and watched the flames slowly shrink and die like the last of her trust and hope. For the first time since she'd fallen in love with Regina, she felt the empty void that had taken root inside her during the years she'd spent in foster care.

The snow crunched underneath Regina's feet, which were covered by slippers with hard soled bottoms. She treaded across the yard and settled herself down on Henry's old swing, which was frosted over with ice. Leaning her cheek against the suspension ropes, she sat for a while, gazing up at the sliver of moon and the sprinkle of stars. Her mouth was swollen from crying and her wrist ached where Emma squeezed too hard.

She eased up from the swing and started into the house after a moment of silence passed between them. "I'll move my things into the guest bedroom," she quietly told Emma. "Unless you'd prefer for me to stay at the inn tonight."

It wasn't until Regina spoke that Emma snapped out of it, and when she moved it was almost predatory as she made her way back into the house.

"No." The word was like a bark as Emma stopped in front of Regina. Emma's eyebrows formed an aggravated line as she hissed quietly, "You're not going anywhere. Not the inn, not the guest room. You'll sleep in our bed, surrounded by our scents, and our things, and I'll sleep in the guest room." Why should she be the one stuck in their room with all of that? It would be simple enough to let Regina retreat to the inn but why? Emma's magic had taken out half the damn streetlights, it was icy, and in Regina's current state if she drove the chances are she'd crash, or freeze to death if she walked.

Emma tried to convince herself the only reason she cared was because she didn't want Regina's death on her hands. Emma tossed her jacket in the closet and left the thermos of coffee on the first available cabinet as she made her way upstairs. The numbness of being outside for so long had dampened her rage and her magic appeared to have calmed. Either that, or she'd weakened herself considerably and had yet to feel the ramifications in her current state. The sheriff's body guided her into the spare room, where all she did was stand in the dark in an attempt not to fall apart.

Regina poured the still hot coffee into the kitchen sink, long after Emma retreated for the guest bedroom. She plodded up the stairs and put her hand against the door separating her from Emma, but dared not turn the knob and risk further stoking Emma's anger. In the quiet confines of her bedroom, she picked up her cell phone and read a few messages from Henry.

"How'd the session go? Are u and mom ok? Happy u 2 are working on it. Snow is making me go 2 bed now but will txt in the AM."

Regina put the phone on the night table and then curled up on her side, clutching Emma's pillow. She fell asleep some time in the early morning hours, when the pillow was soaked through with her tears. She didn't budge when the alarm went off, or when she heard Henry's heavy footfalls on the stairs.

"Hey, I just needed to grab my bio textbook before school," Henry said by way of greeting, as he stepped into his mothers' bedroom. "Forgot to take it last night. David's giving me a ride. Where's Mom?"

Regina smiled for her son's sake and lightly placed two fingers under his chin, as was her habit. "We had a difficult first session with Dr. Hopper. She's asleep in the guest bedroom. Can I make you some breakfast before you go?"

"Grandma made waffles," Henry replied. "What do you mean, you had a difficult first session? Are you fighting again?"

"I think the fight is over," Regina assured him. "Now we just have to find a way to move forward. We both love you. I hope you have a good day at school. Don't be late."

Henry seemed skeptical, but he accepted her explanation for the time being and raced off to get into David's truck.

Regina glided down the hallway to the guest bedroom, where she sank down and hugged her knees outside the door.

She fell asleep, but Emma never emerged from the guest room to find her. Hours later, she picked herself up and returned to the isolation of her bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

A week went by slowly. The shift in Emma was gradual. The numbness seeped into her until she required it to function. For the first day she only left her room twice, to use the bathroom covertly. She didn't sleep. Didn't even try, as she stood at the open window and let the chilled air sweep around her.

The second day, Emma ventured into the kitchen for a glass of water, and barely registered Regina's presence as she robotically hydrated herself. Then it was back to her room. It had been three days since she'd last eaten and the clawing hunger let her know she was awake. This wasn't a dream; it was her reality.

On the third day she sat cross-legged on a chair in the kitchen, and ate a slice of dry toast as snow fell outside. It swayed through the air hypnotically. Emma sat there for hours without realizing it. Then darkness cloaked the room and she became aware of the wetness of her face. Silent tears left salty trails down her cheeks, and she drifted back to the guest room to sit on her bed for another sleepless night.

The fourth day when Emma made her way into the kitchen she wore only a tank top and a pair of boxers that looked more like shorts on her small frame. She hadn't even bothered to put on pajamas, and her hair was positively ratty from running her fingers through it. Her bare feet carried her slowly towards the sink while Regina stood awkwardly near the coffee machine. Tired green eyes seemed almost hollow, until they landed on Regina's right wrist, and the darkening, purple bruise made her eyes fill with unshed tears. Emma said nothing as she finished her drink and washed the glass. Then she paused next to Regina. The smaller woman flinched when Emma reached for her, and a stab of self loathing worked through Emma as her fingers lightly curled around her wife's wrist. Emma's palm tingled, warmed, and a soft golden light flashed then vanished beneath her hand. Emma paused only to look at the woman's healed wrist, then returned to her room without a word.

Friday, she forced herself into a shower, and clean clothes, and made the effort to make a sandwich, even though the idea of eating turned her stomach. She wouldn't allow herself to fall apart. So she made a choice, and thought of the things Henry had requested that night they'd had dinner on their two-year anniversary.

Emma's face was blank as she slid a knife diagonally through her sandwich. Though she turned when Regina entered the room behind her. Her fingers curled around one half of the sandwich, while her other hand lifted the plate, and as she walked out of the kitchen she pushed it gently into Regina's hands. It wasn't words, it wasn't forgiveness, but it was something.

Saturday marked the day that she couldn't face being in the mansion any longer. So at the crack of dawn she'd dressed for work, her eyes as dark as the shadows in the room. Exhaustion didn't look good on her. The intent hadn't been to wake Regina as she clipped on her holster and badge, but she noticed Regina shift in bed, and knew she was being watched. "I'm going to work." Emma had whispered, her voice scratchy from lack of use. Outside, she'd put on a brave face, and let Ruby assume her lack of sleep was from all the 'kinky shit' she and Regina must have been doing. She'd smiled, and talked, and acted as if her world wasn't shaken to pieces. Then she returned home for her ritual night of sitting alone in silence.

Sunday, Emma had risen from bed with a groan; her body protested her every move but she couldn't stand the sight of the guest room any longer. She dressed slowly as birds chirped outside her window, and stumbled down stairs and into the garden. For almost an hour Emma stood there. Staring at the tree and the blackened limb she'd hacked off with magic, she wondered if she was doing the same thing to herself. Regina wasn't a limb, but it felt like she'd lost part of herself all the same. With what little energy she had, Emma used her magic to reattach the branch, and watched as its blackened outer shell crumbled for new bark to take over. The tree gave a slight shudder, then awkwardly brought the branch over to pat Emma on the back. It sent Emma staggering to the side, but she understood, and pressed her palm against its trunk.

Emma woke on Monday morning feeling sick, but she had nothing in her stomach. Whether she liked it or not, she thought of Regina, and wondered if the woman had been eating at all the past week. Emma tried to tell herself she didn't care as she dressed for work. She told herself again when she walked down the stairs. Yet her feet betrayed her by walking into the kitchen to find Regina, and her tongue pushed six words out of her mouth before she could swallow them. "I'm going to make dinner tonight." Emma pressed her lips together, then retreated out of the house. Emma spent two hours at her desk, where she filled out one report and broke a dozen pencils through sheer accidental force. That was when she decided she couldn't take it any longer. Emma grabbed her jacket and made her way into Gold's Pawnshop.

"Gold? Gold! I know you're in here, you're always in here. I need-" Emma's breath hitched and her arms lifted to slap uselessly against her sides.

"Miss Swan, I've been expecting you." Rumple's soft words were given as he waved Emma forward. Ever since she'd vanished that day he'd been perplexed.

When she caught sight of the man behind the counter, the look of concern on his face threw her, but Emma rushed towards him as if he held all the answers. "Tell me you have some kind of spell or potion or magic that can protect your mind from being tampered with. You have that, right? It's a thing? It has to be a thing. I don't want to make any deals either - I just want my mind to be mine and never have to worry that someone can take parts of it away or mess it up." Emma's face was pleading - the dark circles around her eyes coupled with the waxy, pale sheen of her face gave her a haunted look.

"Ah, yes, it is a thing," Rumple replied with a wave of his hand. "This one is on me." He went to his cabinet of elixirs to locate the mixing powder for a potion. While his back was turned and he labored over crushing an herb red as garnet, he quietly muttered, "I am sorry for what happened between you and Regina. Truth be told, I blame myself for spooking her into taking such drastic actions. I would have liked to be a grandfather again, and I do think Regina would have liked to mother a child by you, but knowing the risks, she must have believed she didn't have a choice. Her way of dealing with grief has never been rational. I encouraged her to be honest with you, but I shouldn't have looked the other way while she robbed you of your memories..."

He spun around and put a jar of ruby red elixir down in front of her. "This doesn't begin to make up for it, but it is a small start. It might look like fruit punch, but there's nothing fruity about it. It does pack a certain punch, though. Wait until you're home and settled before you drink it."

Rumple's honesty startled Emma. If anything could show the severity of the situation, it was the man being serious, and his apology was heartfelt. "We'd been trying," Emma blurted out, then sucked her lower lip into her mouth as her booted feet shifted awkwardly. "For weeks when I was… Before I changed back, we'd been trying for another kid." Before she remembered everything. Before she knew the risks. Yet, the voice in the back of Emma's head stated she'd have tried even knowing the risks. It wasn't just that Regina had lied to her - it was that she'd violated her mind. Emma tried to pull herself together as Gold turned to look at her, and her hand went to the vial instinctively as it was offered over. Despite its color, the vial felt cold in her hand, and she clutched it tightly before slipping it into her jacket pocket. "Thanks…" Emma whispered, though whether it was for the potion or his remorse was anyone's guess.

Emma didn't return to work, but she made sure any calls that came through would be forwarded to her cell phone. Instead she went grocery shopping. The illusion of everything being normal had to be maintained, even if it meant spending seventy-four dollars on a bunch of food with a smile on her face. Emma arrived home a few hours later, after mindlessly driving around town to clear her mind.

The groceries were fine, in spite of her detour. She'd mastered a spell Regina had taught her on one of their dates. They'd snuck off during one summer's evening for a picnic, after stopping by Granny's to thieve a tub of ice cream, and Regina had put a spell on it to keep it chilled. Emma had been delighted by the magic, and Regina had positively glowed with pride when Emma had begged her to show her how to do it.

Emma made two trips to the car to gather all the bags, and set them around the kitchen counters. She shrugged out of her jacket and hung it carefully over the back of a chair as she began to unpack. Occasionally she paused to look at something, as if she hadn't even realized she'd bought it, before slipping it into a cupboard, or placing it in the fridge or freezer. The clawing sensation of her stomach made her feel nauseous, and even though she'd literally just bought everything, she felt stumped at what to make for dinner. Something with meat, she decided.

As if sensing the other woman's presence, the hairs on the back of Emma's neck stood on end and she cleared her throat as she glanced sideways at Regina. "What do you want for dinner?" Another six words, Emma noted, but her tone at least had been neutral. Void of hostility, anger and pain, but it also lacked the usual warmth and playfulness. She was trying, to the best of her ability. "I'm ravenous." Emma supplied quietly, then waved with one hand towards the shelves and fridge. "Went grocery shopping." It was an invitation to look, to choose something. Not exactly an olive branch but Emma figured a meal was as good a start as any.

Regina's cashmere sweater hung from her small frame, even though the sleeves were folded back over her wrists and she wore layers underneath. Her cheekbones were sharper, and all of the expressive light that used to fill her eyes was gone. She no longer strode confidently around her own home, but instead took meek steps forward and sat down in a chair at the kitchen table. Boxes of cereal and pasta covered the surfaces in front of her, along with all of Henry and Emma's favorite snacks. She reached for a box of cookies and unsealed the top of the packaging, then began eating like someone who was starved. Typically, she never indulged the way that Emma did, but her body was craving sugar.

"Chocolate cake," she breathed out, practically moaning as she bit into a chocolate chip cookie. "And grilled cheese."

It was rare that she would agree to eat grilled cheese for dinner, although she knew that Emma always considered it a comfort meal. She wondered if missing Emma had caused her to acquire a taste for Emma's favorite foods.

"Yes." Emma husked quietly. Regina's choices had her stomach literally growling, but she faltered slightly as she put everything away and then shook her head. "No." Emma whispered, then added, "Yes, to the cake but grilled cheese... that's not dinner. I want…" Then she froze, as if an idea had finally hit her, and she launched herself into action.

The flour, eggs, butter, milk, sugar and cocoa powder - everything she needed was soon in a large bowl and Emma mixed it up furiously. The speed that she worked at probably surprised Regina; it certainly surprised the sheriff, but starvation could do that to a person. Her frenzied movements around the kitchen as she gathered things and cleaned off counters only stopped when she poured the mixture into the biggest tin they had, and slid it into the pre-heated oven. Emma set the timer, and then released a sigh. "It takes the longest to cook." She explained while she wiped the sweat from her pale face and smeared flour across her cheek.

With a clear idea of what she wanted to make, Emma grabbed the heavy skillet and put it on a high heat while she grabbed the ground beef, onions, and two different kinds of cheese from the fridge. Emma got to work by slicing half the onion, the rest she diced finely and mixed into the ground beef, along with pepper and pinch of salt. Emma tore the meat into four, large chunks and then washed her hands. On the way back, she paused, faltered next to Regina, then brought her a glass of milk. Emma told herself it was because she was thirsty herself, and took a sip as if to prove it before returning to her task.

Emma made easy work of the sharp cheddar and pepper jack she'd picked up, and cut a few good, thick squares off. Absently, she popped one into her mouth to chew, then offered one to Regina before she convinced herself not to. Emma tore the chunks of meat in half, and flattened each out so there were eight in total. Then she tossed the sliced onions into the pan and let them sizzle and soften as she methodically pushed the cheese mixture into the center of four meat patties. Carefully, Emma topped them off with the remaining meat, and reshaped them in her palms before tossing all four burgers into the skillet. The sound as they hit the pan was almost as good as the scents that filled the air, and Emma almost smiled.

Her pale fingers snagged the bag of burger buns she'd tossed into the cupboard, then she was back at the fridge, half inside the damn thing as she pulled out lettuce, tomatoes, bell peppers and spinach. She cut one half of the tomato into thick slices while she diced the remaining ends. The lettuce was shredded, and the bell peppers cut into chunks; she tossed it together in a bowl with the spinach then drizzled it with some of that fancy salad dressing Regina had. Emma set the bowl in the middle of the kitchen island, flipped the burgers, and sliced the burger buns, which she then toasted. In a matter of minutes, she'd assembled the four burgers, complete with lettuce and tomato, and placed two on each plate she grabbed. "Not quite grilled cheese." She said with a shrug, then snagged the jar of mayonnaise and the bottle of ketchup before planting herself on her seat. She'd forgotten forks but with a flick of her wrist they were on the plates.

Emma almost scalded herself from taking a bite of her burger. The molten cheese oozed out the middle and dripped down to land on the bun, narrowly avoiding her chin, but she didn't even care.

Regina licked her lips in anticipation as she brought her own burger closer to her watering mouth, and when her teeth sank into the pepper jack and cheddar, she made a purring noise that was reserved for the times when she and Emma were in bed. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she chewed slowly, savoring the mixture of the flavors that mingled on her tongue. "Emma," she cried. "This is delicious. I take back every insult and rude remark I ever made about your cooking. There may be nothing left for Henry when he gets home."

Truth be told, Emma had never been happier to be back in her own body when she heard the noises that erupted from Regina. Emma shifted in her chair, one hand reflexively going to her crotch to adjust herself out of habit before she realized nothing was there. "Thank you," Emma mumbled, mildly flustered as she watched Regina, and proceeded to eat the rest of her meal just to hide the fact that she was thrilled by the compliments. Ridiculous as the whole situation might be, she still craved that kind of praise; she still wanted Regina to desire her. She just didn't trust her. How could she, after what she'd done?

Still, Emma couldn't help need for Regina to… Hell, fight for her, for their marriage, but it seemed all the fight had gone from the woman and somehow, that disappointed Emma. Even at their worst, she'd fought for her true love, and now the tables had turned, would Regina do the same? Emma contemplated this as she sat in the kitchen, belly full and as content as she could possibly be given the circumstances.

With every bite, Regina let out a soft sound that conveyed her utter delight. She had to pace herself, and though she eyed a second burger greedily, she found that her stomach was full once she finished the first. The smell of the chocolate cake wafted into the air and a cruel wave of nausea hit her, as if to remind her that she didn't deserve Emma's kindness. She kept Emma company while Emma ate voraciously, and then scooted away with the dinner plates and a promise to do the dishes.

Halfway through scrubbing the cheese off of a pan, Regina lowered her gloved hands and leaned back into the countertop. "I think your cake is ready," she called, if only as an excuse to get Emma on her feet. She thought she might faint, and if she did, she wanted Emma nearby. Fortunately the moment of lightheadedness passed, and she was able to hand Emma the oven mitts with a small smile on her face. "Thank you for making dinner."

Emma got to her feet when Regina called out to her, and took the mitts with a hushed, "Thanks." The cake looked better this time around, not lopsided like Henry's, and Emma set it out on a cooling rack as she grabbed the tub of frosting to slather on it. Sure, she should have waited until the cake had cooled, but she wanted it to melt, to create a gooey kind of chocolate mess. She cut two large slices and scooped a serving of ice cream onto the plates. "Dessert." Emma stated softly, and handed one over to Regina. Then she snagged the vial of Gold's potion from her jacket pocket and wandered into the living room to sink heavily into the couch.

Regina ventured after Emma and chose to sit down beside Emma, determined to test how long the woman would tolerate her presence. She began eating her slice of cake and much to her surprise, was able to not only taste it, but to finish the entire piece. Then she set her sights on Emma's dessert, and daringly leaned over to steal a forkful.

Emma hadn't expected Regina to follow her, yet, if she were honest with herself, she had wanted it. So when the woman settled down close to her, Emma relaxed back and took her first bite of cake. It was warm and sugary and perfect for the icy cold winter day. Emma let the sweetness linger in her mouth before eating more, and quietly told herself it was the proper meal she'd just had that left her feeling comforted, and not Regina's presence. Emma knew it was a complete lie, a fact that got emphasized when Regina moved closer to steal a piece of her treat. For the first time in a week, Emma felt the flicker of a genuine smile tug at her lips.

With a playful scrunch of her nose, Regina cleaned her fork and placed the utensil back on her plate, which she had left on the coffee table. Then she tucked her legs underneath her and pulled a blanket over her lap.

Henry came running into the house, spotted his moms on the couch and stopped only to give them each a kiss on the cheek. "Sorry, got a lot of homework," he hurriedly explained, and dashed off to the kitchen to grab dinner. He wrapped his burger in a napkin and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before racing upstairs.

The sight of her son startled Emma. The fact that the both of his parents appeared to be sitting happily together was all he needed to know everything was okay, and the sheriff felt her heart break at deceiving him. She wanted to provide him with a stable, loving, family. A solid unit that wouldn't crumble. Yet it had crumbled, and she was standing in the foundations trying to work out how to rebuild it all. If it could even be put back together. Emma had to believe it could; she wanted it too badly to give up. Fuck, all those months she'd tried to win Regina back, she wasn't about to give up on them now. Even if their relationship was strained.

"He's going to talk to a girl," Regina sighed. "I overheard them chatting on the phone last night. He was being very charming, but I hope he's behaving. He's learned a lot from you..." Boldly, she pushed her cold feet under Emma's leg, where they normally resided in the winters when they were watching television or curled up on the sofa. She slipped into an easy silence while Emma ate what little remained of her dessert, never noticing the jar of potion that Emma kept close by.

"What girl?" Emma spat out a little more incredulously than she'd wanted. The topic of Henry, as always, would forever be a source of common ground. No matter what happened between them, they would always be there for their son. Emma narrowed her eyes at Regina suspiciously and murmured, "What do you mean he's learned a lot from me? A lot of what exactly?" It wasn't said maliciously, in fact, it was perhaps the closest she'd come to sounding like her usual, somewhat playful self.

Her careful fingers pushed the vial into her front pocket so she wouldn't forget it as Regina situated her feet under Emma's warm leg. If Emma hadn't craved the contact, she might have stood up. Instead, she took her time and finished off the rest of her cake. She pushed her plate onto the table and reclined with the kind of sigh that only ever came after eating far too much. "Urgh. I bet I could have ate that and another helping without feeling like this if I were still a guy." Impulsively, her right hand lifted to rub along her jaw, and when all she touched was smooth skin she relaxed. She never thought she'd need to get used to being in her own body again.

"Her name is Sarah and she's a year older than Henry." Regina propped herself against a pillow and drew the plush throw blanket up to her chin. She placed her hand on her stomach and huffed at the uncomfortable sensation of being too full. "I never intended to violate Henry's privacy, but when I went to say goodnight, he was in the middle of a conversation so I stood in the hall and listened for a little while. It seems that she used to bully Henry, but he found ways of getting even. They've recently become close friends. Sound familiar? He takes after you in that he's very forward and very smooth with girls. He's also a teenage boy, and… well, you have certain things in common with teenage boys. You spend a lot of time thinking about food and sex. Of course I can't be sure what Henry was discussing with Sarah, but I have concerns."

Her feet were icy cold, but the heat of Emma's body soon warmed her toes and she was able to relax. "I think it's time you had a talk with him about girls. I've had my own chats with him, but it's different coming from you… especially given that you now have experience being a man."

Emma shifted on the couch, a subtle movement that meant Regina could push her feet further under her leg. It wasn't that she needed the contact… She just wanted it. Though Emma was pissed off at her wife, she still wanted to be around her; she just happened to hate her at the same time. "Wha-" Emma sputtered, and turned to look incredulously at Regina. "I do not spend a lot of time thinking about food and sex," Emma stated dryly, then looked away as she licked her lips nervously. Well, maybe she did, but that was so beside the point. Her son was potentially about to start dating. "What do you mean you have concerns, what kind of concerns? Is this girl trouble?" No, she doubted Sarah was up to anything - only an idiot would try that with the former Evil Queen and current Sheriff's son.

Emma shifted uncomfortably. The idea of having 'the sex talk' with Henry was bad enough, but even more so considering Regina pointed out why she should be the one to do it. "Regina…" The tone was half whine, half warning. "I'm not comfortable sitting him down to talk about all the changes and urges he's going to go through, I mean for fuck's sake, you touched it more than I did!"

Regina gave her immature wife a black look and then rolled her eyes. "He already knows about all of that, dear. He's sixteen years old. Why do you think I put parental controls on his computer? He'd never get his homework done, because he'd be too busy looking at… well, what do you think he'd be looking at?" As soon as Emma began to fidget, she removed her feet from underneath the woman's legs and sat upright. "I want you talk to him about how he should be treating his dates and about what activities are and are not appropriate at his age. Let me put this in perspective for you. He's two years younger than you were when you gave birth to him. At the very least you can tell our son what it means to be respectful of women on dates."

With an emphatic gesture of the wrist and a meaningful, downward glance, Regina added, "And for the record, you seemed to know exactly what to do with it."

Emma bristled when Regina pointedly looked at the apex of her thighs. Even in her anger, Emma's ego preened, but she shook her head when she realized it.

Regina's snide remark about perspective ruffled the sheriff, who in turn snorted back, "I get it, I'm the teen mom statistic. I'll just walk in there and tell him not to make the same mistake I did. Except, he was the result, and without him this whole town would still be cursed, and I'd be somewhere else."

Honestly, Emma just didn't want to think about her son and sex in the same category. It felt like only yesterday he'd shown up at her door, half his size, and pleading for her to come home with him. "You know, last I checked, you also know how to respect women on dates, so-..."

No.

Emma stopped mid sentence and stared hard at the woman sharing the couch with her. "No," she whispered. "Actually you know nothing about respecting women. You don't respect anyone. You never have." The vial in Emma's pocket was evidence enough of that. Her stomach turned at the sickening thought. She shoved back the blankets and wrenched herself away from Regina.

With one hand pressed against her mouth, she sprinted up the stairs to the bathroom, stopping only when she had to fall to her knees in front of the shiny porcelain.

Regina gaped after Emma and then followed at a delayed pace, hovering in the doorway of the bathroom with an uncertain frown on her face. She approached cautiously when Emma began to heave, and gathered up Emma's gold curls to prevent them from getting covered in vomit.

With affection, Regina soothingly rubbed Emma's back until the woman grew still, then shifted onto the floor to sit next to her. "I'm sorry," she whimpered out. "Please believe me."

Her voice struck a girlish, high note and then broke with her sorrowful pleading. "I convinced myself that altering your mind was the only way to fix the situation, and that it was best for both of us, but ultimately... what I did was selfish. I wanted to be free of the pain. I didn't want anyone to know about what happened. I just... wanted the event erased from my life." She sighed and reached for a wad of toilet paper, which she used to clean Emma's mouth. When she moved to get Emma a glass of water to rinse the taste out, she also turned off the lights in the bathroom. Only when she tasted the salt in her mouth did she realize she was crying.

"You, Emma, are the only one... who has ever stood by me, who has seemed to implicitly understand my motivations, behaviors, and my pain." Her hand shook as she held it out to Emma, afraid to touch but desperately wanting to feel connected to her wife.

"I was almost a mother once," she blurted out. "I mean, before Henry... before coming to this land. When I was about three months along, I unexpectedly took ill and I lost the baby. It disappointed... everyone, and I was punished severely for it. I had even fewer freedoms than I did at the beginning of my awful marriage." She pressed her lips together and folded her arms over her upper body. "He… stopped making any attempt to speak to me after that, and instead resorted to reading my diary when he wanted to get into my head. Your silence… reminded me of that, and I felt trapped again, with no way out. But in the end, what I did made you my prisoner. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Emma. Because I did something to you that can never be forgiven. I ruined any sense of safety you ever felt with me, and I destroyed… our happiness."

Now that her retching had stopped, Emma slumped back against the wall, away from Regina despite the way her hands reached for the glass of water. She spat the first two mouthfuls down the toilet, and flushed it as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. Emma wanted to believe her wife, but how could she? The entire situation felt absurd, and as she listened, her breaths became slightly erratic to match her heartbeat. The tentative touch of Regina's fingertips against her arm sparked a wave of anger within Emma, and she jerked out of Regina's reach to coil herself against the cold porcelain of the toilet. The sudden honesty from Regina involving her past pressed heavily on Emma's shoulders. It took her a moment to realize she felt sorry for Regina, and another to realize she shouldn't be feeling like that at all. The fact that Regina considered herself trapped only added fuel to fire burning in Emma's veins. Slow, steady fingers tightened around the glass subconsciously until it finally shattered in her hand as Emma hissed quietly, "Shut up!"

Blood, water and broken glass trickled from between her fingers, but the sheriff clenched her hand into a fist as she tried to breathe, the physical pain barely registering. "All these years you've had the chance to talk to me. To open up to me. The majority of the past year it's all I've asked from you and you wait until now to say all that? How about before you took my memories, huh? How about all those times I stood up for you?" Emma's voice was low, quiet, and dangerously calm. "The worst part is you knew what this would do to me. To us. Yet you still did it. Didn't even try to talk to me, didn't even mention how you felt, didn't care how I felt trying to work through it all. No… It was all about you, because what you need, what you want, well that's more important than our family. More important than me, and more important than Henry."

The thought of her son gave Emma enough energy to get up, and she leaned heavily against the sink before she opened her hand to let the remaining shards of glass fall away. In the dark, she rinsed her hand, then grabbed a small towel to wrap around it before she turned to face Regina again. "I love you." Emma stated, the warring emotions that swirled inside her raged, but as she took a step closer it became clear which one was winning. "But right now, I hate you. What you did to me makes me sick. It's the worst thing imaginable. You're meant to be my wife, not my enemy. I guess you're happier being both." Emma's left hand slipped into her pocket, and in the darkness of the room, the small vial and its ruby contents glowed like the hearts Regina had gotten so adept at ripping out. "I got this from Gold today." Emma husked quietly, and raised it up so that it dangled in front of their faces. Emma wasn't looking at it though; her dark gaze was fixed on Regina's face as she breathed out, "This stops anyone from being able to alter or fuck with my mind ever again." It represented clearly how much Emma no longer trusted Regina, and she took a moment to let that sink in for Regina.

"Our son is home, and as far as he knows we're working on our marriage." There was no nervousness in Emma as she said what had to be said, just cold fury that made her nauseous. "That means I need to sleep next to you so he can continue being a happy, functioning, sixteen year old because he will never find out what you did. What you used him to do? He'd never forgive it, and I won't put him through that." Emma sucked in a slow, deep breath and resisted the urge to grind her teeth as she spat out quietly, "As far as anyone else is concerned, we're fine, we're fixing the issues in our relationship, so in front of our son and the town? We're playing happy family. But don't for one second think you're forgiven."

Before she could talk herself out of it, Emma popped the top off the vial and swallowed the contents in one gulp. It tasted disgusting, and slightly slimy as it rolled across her tongue and down her throat, and it took her a second to make sure she wouldn't throw up again before she left the bathroom to walk over to the bed. She felt funny, and Rumple's words echoed in her mind about it packing a punch.

Regina clenched her jaw and forced herself to swallow, though her eyes burned with tears that swept across her cheek in the silence.

She left the bathroom only after washing her face and gently patting her damp skin with a towel. As she exited, she was like a restored painting, with fresh clean lines, instead of runny, damaged ones that revealed her age. She conducted herself with aplomb and elegance, floating across the carpet to sit at her mirrored vanity, where she could observe Emma without having to interact face on.

"You are the king of the castle," Regina whispered, with a touch of affliction in her voice. "I will be your devoted and obedient wife. Anything you want is yours, on the condition that you continue going to our joint sessions with Archie. I would also appreciate it if you would make time for me each week, to give us a fresh starting point. If you decline, then I will wait for you to accept, and if you never do, I have only one request. When you wish to silence me, please ask nicely."

She saw that Emma drank the jar of potion, and a flicker of worry passed through her eyes; she had only ever witnessed one person drinking the concoction and she had responded badly to the potent mix. "There's anger thorn in that," she gestured. "And you are already angry." She was frightened to sleep in the same bed with Emma, given that her wife already gazed upon her with loathing and now had more cause to give into natural instinct. But another part of her felt determined to provoke Emma, to reap a more painful punishment.

Emma gazed down at the towel wrapped around her hand, and squeezed it just to feel the stinging pain as she sat heavily on the bed. It momentarily quelled the roiling anger that seemed to pulse through her veins, and Emma shook her head. What the fuck was in that potion? Emma's gaze snapped to Regina as the woman spoke, and she frowned at Regina's reflection in the mirror before hanging her head. Her hand tightened around the towel until she hissed under her breath and saw specks of red staining the stark white. "I don't want to be king of the castle." Emma muttered quietly, and got to her feet. "You're not a slave, Regina, or a prisoner. If you want the divorce tell me."

Though at the mention of seeing Archie, Emma paused, and swayed slightly where she stood. Her skin was flush and the faintest sheen of sweat had broken out across her skin. In an attempt to control herself, she stuffed her hands into her jeans pockets. The tension along her arms and shoulders said they were clenched. Emma sucked in a slow breath and shut her eyes at the added detail of what ingredient was kicking into her system. She would have laughed, had she not felt like she was falling apart at the seams with no knowledge of how to stitch herself back up. "Don't do that, I don't want you to be obedient, I don't want to control you." The fire that burned within Regina, that passion and zeal for life, that refused to bend for anyone no matter how much they tried to break her. That was possibly one of the things that Emma loved the most about her. Even now, at their worst, Emma didn't want to see it extinguished.

Regina kept her head down as she went to the closet to change for bed. She undid the buttons on her blouse slowly, and then took off her pants. Her fingers brushed over the dark and neutral colored cloths in her wardrobe, until they fell on a soft silk nightgown Emma favored on her. The nightgown hung above the thigh and showed off every part of her that Emma once loved. She slid the gown easily over her head and paired it with a light robe to keep herself from freezing. When she risked a glance in Emma's direction, Emma looked dangerously on edge.

Flashes of memory hit Emma out of nowhere, events she'd worked so hard on burying in her mind, moments through her childhood when she'd been so afraid, and then later so furious. Emma shook her head again, snorted roughly like a displeased animal, and opened her eyes to blink the room back into focus. She wasn't a kid anymore. It took her a moment to remember that as she stood shaking, then another as she gathered her thoughts. "I'll go to the sessions if you don't just vanish on me in the middle of them, if you want to leave then we'll leave but not like that." Emma made her way towards the door but stopped as she reached it, aware that Regina was changing, and equally startled and saddened as she was aroused and angry to see the choice of nightgown she'd slipped into. "Write down what days and times and I'll be there..." She whispered, or at least tried to; it came out as a raspy growl, and the veins in her neck seemed to strain. It actually hurt to restrain the intense spike of rage, but Emma knew it was the potion and desperately clung to the fact that it would end. Hopefully before she did something she'd regret.

Emma shut the bedroom door behind her quietly, and nearly fell down the stairs when her son snuck up behind her with a cheerful, "Hey mom can I go out for a while? Just grabbing a milkshake with a friend. You can call Ruby. We'll be at the diner."

Emma glanced at her watch and then at her son. The excitement on his face was enough for her to put two and two together, and she hummed low in her throat. "I don't see why not. It's only a little after six. You got any homework?" She asked softly, and belatedly realized the sight of her son had a calming effect on her.

"Nope, I did it already." Henry beamed as he walked down stairs with his mom, and chuckled lightly before she had the chance to say anything else. "I know I know, be back before nine, it's a school night, and yes, I have my phone and will call if I need you guys."

"Smart ass." Emma affectionately stated, and wrapped one arm around his shoulders to pull him into a hug. "Listen before you go I uh…" Emma felt awkward already as she guided her bewildered son away from the stairs to stand in the foyer. "I wanted to talk to you about a few things… It's important."

Henry's smile slid from his face and his posture went from good to slumped in under a second. "You're still getting the divorce, aren't you? What happened? You were eating cake together…"

Emma's heart felt like it had been squeezed and she shook her head quickly and made an effort to maintain eye contact. "What? No! Henry, we're not getting a divorce. We're going to continue seeing Archie, and your mom is uh… Well she thinks it would be a good idea for us to spend some time together, just the two of us, and... I agree. Kid, it's going to take time to repair the damage that's been done, and sometimes it's going to be hard and painful, but we're not giving up on each other, or this family." It wasn't a lie. If anyone could pull the truth from Emma, it was their son. Yet it was strange to hear herself say that with conviction when she hadn't previously allowed herself to even think it.

"Okay, well good, I'm kinda looking forward to having a brother or sister. I've been thinking about all the cool stuff I can teach them." Henry's smile returned and the genuine way his eyes lit up at the thought of having a sibling almost reduced Emma to tears.

"Speaking of kids…" Emma began, then licked her lips nervously, "I'm going to level with you. I know what it's like being a teenager, and all the, well the desires that go with it and it's natural, to want to do stuff but always make sure you use prote-"

"Argh, stop! Mom already gave me the talk like two years ago. I know all about puberty and… Stuff," Henry sputtered after a moment of panic.

Emma cringed, and shuffled her feet as she cleared her throat. "Good, that's covered, but there's other stuff you need to know too. Like…" Fuck, how did she talk about consent, without it just veering back into the awkward sex talk they narrowly avoided? Emma faltered for a second before spotting Henry's phone currently clutched in his hand. "Let's say your phone dies, and you ask to use a friend's, say it's a girl, to send me a text. That's fine, because you asked and she said yes. But... If you start looking through her inbox you're violating her trust."

Henry's features scrunched up as he looked at his mom, then his shoulders lifted in a bewildered shrug as he stuttered, "But why would that be a big deal? She wouldn't have given me her phone if there was something bad on it."

"Oh yeah?" Emma arched her eyebrows and held her son's gaze. Little things like that, while unintentionally invasive, were things she wanted him to be aware of. "Think of it this way. You bring her over to study, you take a break and start browsing youtube, then I call you down to start a load of laundry. While you're down here, she starts to browse your bookmarks and internet history…"

Henry's eyes widened, his face reddened and he tensed before sputtering, "But she wouldn't do that!"

"That right there, what you're feeling?" Emma pointed to her son, no hint of humor in her tone as she stressed softly, "Remember that. Nobody wants to feel like they're being violated, in any sort of way. So don't be that guy."

Henry fell silent for a moment and his gaze went to his shoes as he thought about it. Then he nodded to himself, sucked in a deep breath, and looked at his mom again. "We're not just talking about texts are we?"

Emma's slight smile was all the answer he needed, but she tipped her head to the side and continued on. "You're a great kid Henry, but it's easy to get caught up in a moment, so try to remember that just because someone doesn't say no, they aren't saying yes either. I don't just mean with intimacy... It applies to every aspect of a relationship. If you're not sure, ask. Be respectful, and never, ever do something you don't want to do. If they don't respect that, they aren't the kind of people you want in your life."

Henry fell silent as he listened, but seemed to take on board the gravity of Emma's words. He nodded to say he understood, but cracked a slight grin. "Hey mom? Not as awkward as I thought it would be."

Emma managed a small, though sincere chuckle, and she moved as if to walk away before halting in her tracks. Emma spun around and announced quietly, "That reminds me, the socks you think you're hiding in the laundry basket? We know they exist. Think outside the box kid, you got whole shower to yourself down the hall, or buy some tissues, so we never have to find them again." Then she clapped her hand against his shoulder and smirked. "Awkward enough?"

"I…" was all Henry managed to croak, his face beet red, before his mouth snapped shut and he felt like dying.

"Have fun with your friend." Emma said breezily, and gently pushed her son towards the door. "And remember to be back before nine!"

As Henry skittered off, Regina made her presence known by clearing her throat and placing a small hand cautiously on Emma's bicep, as if she feared the woman's skin might sizzle and burn her if she maintained contact for too long. "Thank you for talking to Henry," she whispered in a voice thick with emotion. "He needs your guidance now more than ever." How could she give her son a lecture about consent, when she'd never learned any boundaries herself? Emma, on the other hand, could ensure that Henry never followed her example.

Regina's eyes were darker than rain puddles as she caressed Emma's cheek with the feather light finger pad of her thumb. "You are everything I want our son to grow up to be," she breathed, lowering her arm and taking a step back. She appeared at a loss as to what to do with her hands, and her face was a mask of concentration as she stared down at them. Her magic was flowing through her like cold liquid fed into her veins by a tube, and she rubbed at her wrists as if there was an invisible line attached to her.

"I took away your choices," Regina choked out, "And then I thought you must want to take that power back from me. What else can I offer you, except for total control? But that's not… how relationships are supposed to be." Her eyebrows were scrunched together as she reasoned aloud, looking both troubled and hopeful as she placed her hand on Emma's back.

The gentle touch startled Emma, and she turned to face Regina with a perplexed expression on her face. Now that Henry was gone she could feel it again, that pulsing surge that threatened to take over. It was frightening, the intensity, and the sight of Regina only seemed to amplify it. Emma pressed her lips together, and nodded to say she accepted the thanks even as she stuffed her left hand into her pocket and clenched her right one around the towel stained with her blood. The ghost like touch and gentle truths that spilled from the smaller woman weren't something Emma expected, and perhaps due to that, they hit her harder.

Emma didn't trust herself to talk, and so she bit her lip and listened as her true love expressed her thoughts on why she'd said what she had. In a roundabout way it made perfect sense, and the more Emma considered it, the more she understood why. Prior to their relationship, that had been the only kinds Regina had ever known. That realization only served to make her blood boil, because it pissed her off to think of people controlling Regina, dominating the woman's life and treating her like a puppet. "You're right, but you need to get away from me." It wasn't a threat; it was a frightened statement, because as volatile as she felt she didn't want to hurt Regina, despite the way the potion tried to take hold. "Why would they add that stupid thorn?" She growled under her breath, and even that sent rage through her system. "Fuck!"

"Emma," Regina exhaled softly. The name sounded somehow wet on her tongue. "I can feel the anger radiating off you…" She touched Emma's chest with the flat of her hand as she stared into green eyes that were darkened by expanding pupils and barely restrained rage. "Let me help you."

The gentle pressure of Regina's hand against her chest snapped Emma's focus back to her, and she searched the woman's gaze for any clue as to what she meant. "I don't want to hurt you." Emma blurted, a deep scowl on her face as she shook her head, her whole body tensing as tried to control herself from lashing out. It would be easy to trash the place; the idea of it was almost pleasurable. She blinked rapidly and released a shaky breath, the scowl transformed into an almost pathetic look that flickered into life as she husked, "I don't know what to do, I feel like I could start a riot." It wouldn't be hard, in a town where angry mobs were easy to round up. The idea of fighting seemed to thrill her, and when she caught herself smiling she squeezed the towel again until pain flared up her arm. "Regina…" Emma whispered, "Please…"

"No. Don't give into those feelings. It will be okay. Just… come with me," Regina quietly insisted, and ushered Emma up the stairs into their bedroom in her gentle, nurturing way. She folded down the blankets on the bed and adjusted the lighting in the room to half its intensity. "Take your shoes off and lie down in bed. I'll be right back." With her instructions given, she hurried into the bathroom to collect wads of soft cotton, alcohol and soothing antiseptic cream. "I see what you're doing to your injured hand," she neutrally pointed out, and then carefully took up Emma's fingers to clean out the cut and bandage her palm properly. "That's better, isn't it?"

When she finished, Regina tied a piece of cool cloth around the wrappings, and then seated herself beside Emma. "I know that stung, and I'm sure you feel you're on the verge of lashing out, but I need you to listen to my voice right now." She arranged a pillow over her legs, and then encouraged Emma to lie across her lap. Her fingers delicately mapped the sloping bones in Emma's shoulders, running in soothing circles and loops, like whimsical calligraphy on a storybook page. "It's only me, Emma. The woman who loves you. That's all I am right now, and I want to take care of you," she murmured. "Close your eyes, but see me. Hear me. We're in a place where your heart can be at peace… It doesn't need to beat this fast. There's nowhere you need to run, and no one to fight right now. This is your home, but if your mind feels like wandering, I have some place I'd like to take you…"

"We're in a place with rolling green hills. It's a pasture, and there's a stream close by. If you quiet yourself… you'll hear the children sitting by the water, telling stories. They're getting some fresh air. The air is crisp and easy to breathe. Take a deep breath now." She coaxed a breath out of Emma, and traced small flowers up and down the woman's spine. "If you glance out at the distance, you'll see a row of small houses where lights come on in the evening gloom, glittering like lightning bugs. But it isn't dark here yet. The sun still touches the grass where we're standing. The people who live out here never start wars, and no harm ever comes to them. They're simple people, who spend their days baking bread, raising horses and gathering daisies. They sing their babies to sleep… and it's the same lullaby every night, soft as the wind, serene as the trickling river. Their little ones never cry because they know they're safe. You are safe, too."

Ever so gingerly, Regina swept the curls away from Emma's face and smoothed them with care. "If we pay a penny to the baker, he'll give us sweet rolls, and the farmer will give us fresh cream. There's a place in his hayloft where we can hide and take a nap, and when we wake up, we can take the stone path through the tailor's garden, where there are so many butterflies that they cover every blossom. They're so beautiful that it doesn't matter that you can't see the flowers themselves..."

Two teardrops hit Regina's lips, and she tasted them along with the words of her bedtime story, but she continued on.

"There's a woman named Marska who lives in a thatch house and puts pine needles by her fireside. She's quiet, but quite friendly to children. She lives alone, but she isn't lonely. The family that lives next door calls her 'Mama Marshka.' That family raises ducks. The ducks fly away every winter, but they always return when it's springtime, and that's the best time of all." With tenderness, she pulled the blanket around her wife and continued to stroke the plane of the woman's back. "Shh, Emma. Keep your eyes closed. Let yourself go exploring…."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a proper forewarning, the next chapter of this story will be rated a hard M/NC-17.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Hate!sex ahead, but also tender sex. Notes: SQ is endgame.

It had been easier for Emma to grind her teeth than speak as she followed Regina into their room and sat down on the bed. She had no reaction as Regina nursed her wound, even though the pain raced up her arm as it was cleaned. Instead she had just stared blankly at the wall and fought the urge to destroy everything around her. Her body felt like a cage and something awful was determined to break free. The idea of punching Gold the next time she saw him made her momentarily smile. She could blame the anger on him; after all he gave her the potion, but somewhere deep down she knew better. It only emphasized an anger that had already been burning within her. A fire that Regina had sparked to life, and now it threatened to consume Emma.

At first when Emma leaned rigidly across her wife's thighs, Regina's words had caressed her as much as the fingers on her back. Like ice melting, the sheriff's muscles relented gradually from their tension, little by little. With every shared detail, Emma's mind created a picture, and she found herself breathing deeper. Calming. She pictured the faces of children, bakers, and the landscape. She thought of her time in the Enchanted Forest and how everyone lived there, and then she frowned. All the things Regina had just said floated through her mind again and she tensed.

This was wrong.

Regina was wrong, and it pissed her off. The slight calm she'd previously felt was gone in the blink of an eye and every touch and soft word from Regina was tainted with it. With a slight grunt, Emma recoiled from Regina and loathed the way her body missed the contact. She got to her feet, requiring distance immediately as she spun to glare at Regina. "I don't want to explore! What are you doing, walking me through your childhood? You couldn't have taken the time to share any of that when we were happy?" Emma spat out incredulously.

"Jesus, you have me lying there and you're telling me you're the woman who loves me and that I'm safe, and you're saying it like it's real!" Emma's face contorted in emotion as she balled her fists up, because some small part of her had almost been ready to believe it and she hated herself for that. "I'm not safe!" She shouted as she raised her hands to wave around the room. "This, all of this! Is your fault! This mess, our marriage, my mind… How can you sit there and tell me you love me when you could do that?" Emma shook her head, her lips forming a tight white line for a second. "I'm not safe from you, and I can't trust you, because no matter what the only person you ever think about first is yourself. You don't like something so you find a way to control it or change it so that it ends up suiting you…"

Emma paused, her breathing slightly erratic, and straightened to her full height to give Regina the most disgusted look she could. "Turns out I'm not an exception either. Why would I be?" She laughed, but it was unhinged and hollow, "I'm only your wife." With a sharp shake of her head, Emma ran her fingers through her tangled blonde hair and snapped, "Your plan was stupid. I don't need your help." Emma grabbed her wallet and keys and turned to snarl, "I need you to stay the hell away from me."

Regina kept quiet and listened soberly; her emotions were already unstable, and Emma's outright dismissal of her attempts to share a bittersweet memory left her disoriented. She bent her head, and a cynical laugh escaped from her, which only further antagonized Emma.

That made her smirk as she strode within reaching distance to stroke Emma's cheek softly. "You belong to me," she whispered poisonously. "You aren't going anywhere. I could rip out your heart and control you, but the fact of the matter is that I never needed it to have power over you, Emma. I am your weakness." Her eyes were mirrors, empty glass that reflected only the darkness in the room.

Regina blinked, and in an instant, she was sitting back on the bed, staring down at her violently shaky hands. Her lips were curled in a dangerous smile and she saw her hands twist all on their own, as if she was breaking the neck of a small animal.

She heard herself gasp quietly, and gaped up at Emma in horror, unaware of the unshed tears in her eyes. It had been a long time since she last experienced a disturbing fantasy and it made her fear that her anger and pain would take over and turn the waking nightmare into a reality.

Still, Regina couldn't let Emma leave the house in a magically induced rage. She composed herself long enough to get up and take the keys from her wife's hand. "I'll let you have the keys back in the morning, after you've slept off the anger thorn," she sternly insisted. "Until then, the guest bedroom is waiting for you."

"What the hell?" Emma sputtered, outraged as Regina took away her keys and mentioned the guest room. Whatever patience Emma had been clinging onto snapped and she turned to stride into Regina's space with a dark look of determination. "You think taking my keys will stop me from driving my car?" She sneered scornfully. "I stole the damn thing! I don't need the keys. Keep them for all I care." With a derisive snort, Emma spun away from Regina and headed towards the door, which she slammed behind her with such force it shook on its hinges.

It was only when she was stomping halfway down the stairs that she let out a growl and turned around. Seconds later, Emma burst through the bedroom door again to add, "And stop treating me a damn child, Regina! Have you completely forgotten that our son is out? Why would I ever go to sleep this early in the evening? You know what, even if I did it's my choice because I'm an adult and you can't treat me like a kid!" Emma stopped just short of pressing her face against Regina's as she glowered, "I won't let you."

Regina couldn't stifle the laugh that rose from her throat as Emma approached her again to resume their argument; she haughtily flicked her gaze down over Emma, giving the furious woman a critical once over. "My mistake," she mockingly intoned. You're behaving so responsibly right now."

With a roll of her eyes, Regina retreated down the stairs and into the solitude of her study. She didn't trust herself around Emma given how the determined they were to goad each other on, but she expected to be pursued.

Emma seethed at the insult but before her mind could string together a coherent sentence, Regina had left the room. "You're one talk about responsibility…" She hissed under her breath as she pivoted and stalked after her wife. Anger bubbled and frothed inside Emma, heating her blood as it raced through her veins.

Regina sat down behind her desk, using it as a barrier between her and the woman who stomped after her. "I thought you didn't want to be around me," she husked. "But here you are. You don't want to run away, Emma. You want to fight, and the anger thorn is the perfect excuse. Come at me and let's be done with this."

"First of all you took my keys, so if anyone doesn't want me to go anywhere, it's you." Emma stepped closer to splay her hands against the desk just so she could lean down to stare into Regina's eyes as she mocked her. "Come at you? Have you been watching Youtube videos again to try and understand the language the kids are using these days?" The smirk she flashed was purely for show. If Regina wanted to get under her skin, she could damn well get under hers in return.

"No," Regina curtly replied. "Why would I need to do that? I live in a household with a teenage boy, and occasionally I feel as though I'm the single parent of two children." She moodily pressed her lips together, behaving not unlike a petulant girl herself as she circled around Emma. With her head held high, she struck a dignified pose and leveled Emma with her penetrating glare. "I made some awful mistakes, but this is exactly why I feel I can't tell you anything."

The remark about being a child evoked a disinterested eye roll from Emma. "You can tell me anything but you always choose the easy way out. You stole my memories to make things easier on yourself and then you resented me for not knowing any better." She clenched her teeth, causing the muscles of her jaw to jump as she exhaled a breath through her nose and stared her wife down. "How exhilarating it must be to be you, doing as you please to anyone you want. Cora would be so proud."

Regina swept her fingers over the mahogany surface of her desk and pointedly ignored Emma's crack about her mother. "You know, I often wonder what the outcome would have been if I hadn't taken your memories," she hissed. "Would it have mattered? When I finally told you about what I had done, you said we should concentrate on moving forward…"

"Don't," Emma growled in warning as Regina brought up the pregnancy she'd terminated.

"You didn't tell me how you felt about the baby," Regina bitterly went on, eyes flashing darkly as she stared Emma down. "You didn't seem to feel anything at all. You said we'd work through what happened together, but your only coping mechanisms are to run away or fight."

The accusation of not feeling anything actually drew the breath from Emma's lungs, and for a fraction of a second, her face reflected how deeply that hurt. With her next breath in, Emma's anger reached boiling point and her expression hardened as she yelled, "You wanna know how I feel? I feel like that stupid seventeen year old that fell in love then got set up to go to prison, only this time my mind was my prison, and the kid I never knew about until it was too late is gone. I feel like you ripped out my heart because you would rather do all of that than just talk to me!"

Emma's rage was wet and it stung her eyes as salt water dripped down her cheeks. Yet her voice was cold and firm even as her chin trembled. "I feel like something inside of me is dying and it's your fault. I thought you changed. Turns out I was right. You're nothing like the woman I first met." Emma's eyes trailed down her wife and slowly back up as she composed herself enough to sneer, "She was a manipulator and a liar, but at least she wasn't a coward."

Regina could have turned Emma to cinder with the smoldering, hateful glare she cast in her wife's direction; she clenched her fingers at the knuckles and struck Emma across the face hard enough to make blood gush from the woman's insolent mouth. All of her self-constraint was gone and she went for Emma's hair, but her hands only took hold of Emma's leather jacket, and then she started to beat her small fists against her wife's chest. She ripped at Emma's clothes and skin destructively, communicating her own feelings by thrashing and knocking Emma back into her bookshelf.

In hindsight, Emma should have seen the punch coming. After all, she'd watched that same exact look cross Regina's face all those years ago before she lashed out in a graveyard. The impact was as strong now as it was then and the force caused Emma to stagger slightly. The taste of blood filled her mouth and she growled as Regina poured her fury down on her in the form of fists. There were no words spoken as Emma grabbed for Regina's hands, no remorse in the way she pushed her wife roughly backwards and watched her collide ass first into her desk. Only anger and pain as she wiped the back of her hand against her split lip and looked at the shredded mess of her shirt. Emma shrugged out of her jacket before it got ruined and dropped it over a chair, then she directed a look towards Regina that said quite clearly, bring it.

Regina hung back to get her bearings and to calm herself down, but Emma's arrogance provoked her; she rushed at her wife, although she was flustered by how unshakable and solid Emma seemed. She felt Emma's hands fall to her hips to hold her in place, but she continued to hammer her small fists into Emma until her wife stopped her by force. Her eyes sought out Emma's and then she boldly reached out to grip the woman by the belt, giving the long leather strap a firm pull.

With a hypnotically slow movement, Regina licked her bottom lip and took a step closer to Emma, pressing her wife back towards the couch. She undid the buckle on Emma's belt and forced her jeans to the floor, and then her mouth was on Emma's and she could taste the blood she drew and the salt from her own tears. She swallowed Emma's confused groan as she stuck her hand down the front of Emma's panties and slid her index and middle fingers up and down over the stiff, swollen nub between the woman's legs.

The way Emma's body reacted to the contact pissed Emma off even more and she crushed her lips painfully against Regina's with a snarl. It wasn't a kiss so much as a declaration of war and she signed it with a vicious bite to her wife's lower lip. The coppery tang of Regina's blood fueled her on and suddenly her hands were pushing Regina away. Emma sneered, using her tall frame to back Regina into the desk so that her hands could snare the bottom of the woman's nightgown, fashionably split up the side. She took her frustration out on the material, ripping it like wings off a butterfly to leave the material fluttering to the ground, ruined, like their marriage. Before Regina had the chance to shout at her, Emma's hand slid roughly down the woman's torso, scratching her short nails against sensitive skin before her fingers delved beneath panties and into the slippery heat that lurked within. "I should have known hurting me gets you wet." Emma growled out, her eyes watching Regina's face as she pushed two fingers deeply into her.

Regina bucked in desperation to get the upper hand, but she was too stunned by Emma's fast maneuver to overpower the stronger woman. Emma's fingers rhythmically plunged in and out of her at a bruising, harsh pace and her ass hit the desk behind her every time Emma entered her. She grated her teeth together, unwilling to give Emma the satisfaction of hearing her cry out in pleasure. "And you're turned on by the thought of retaliation," she rasped in accusation. "This is how you want me to atone for my mistakes – by bending me over a desk."

Her pussy was clenching and sucking at Emma's fingers, leaving the woman's hand glistening with the proof of her arousal. She grabbed Emma by the wrist to slow the furious motion of Emma's onslaught. Her lower lips were already pink and sensitive, but she couldn't stop the incessant thrusting of Emma's middle and ring fingers. Her insides began to ache wonderfully, and she loosened her hold on Emma to let her wife continue, finally surrendering to a moan and pushing the sound out of her throat provocatively. "Does this make you feel strong, dear? Do you like being in charge and rough with me? It's a shame you can't feel this the way you did when you were a man. And you must have a cramp in your hand. You aren't in very deep…"

The sudden insult stilled Emma's movements and her features hardened as she took her hand back to gruffly state, "You know Regina, all I hear is how desperately you want me to fuck you." The adrenaline flowing through her veins left her buzzing but she didn't smile as her hands grabbed Regina by the waist. With a forceful twist, she spun her wife around and pushed her forward. The sharp sound of Regina's hands hitting the desk as she bent over to steady herself evoked laughter as Emma pushed her panties down. "I guess after getting it so regularly for weeks, the sudden end to it must have sucked." She whispered, though her remarks were no more stinging than her hand as she smacked her full palm against the voluptuous right cheek of Regina's ass. Christ, maybe her wife was right, because despite her anger, excitement and arousal spiked at the sight of her hand print glowing pink. Emma smoothed her palm against it soothingly only to squeeze roughly the next second.

Sensing the power struggle to come, Emma brought her left hand to her open belt and pulled the strip of leather free. With a quick tug, she pulled one end through the buckle and snared both of Regina's hands with it. The rest of it Emma coiled around her hand as she leaned over to press her lips against her wife's ear to his wickedly, "You're such a fan of restraints, Regina, I wouldn't want to let you down." Really, Emma couldn't stop the way she smirked, or how she stepped back to close her eyes as a familiar tingle ran through her system and settled at the apex of her thighs. Without hesitation she pressed her new, hard, length between Regina's legs and sighed as she rubbed herself against Regina's slippery folds. "Say it." Emma smugly demanded, making no attempt to enter her wife whatsoever.

Regina arched her spine and thrashed against the bindings that refused to come undone, even with the help of a spell; she cursed under her breath, and bit back a low moan as Emma stood in position behind her and spanked her. She felt Emma's thighs strain and press insistently against her, and the thick, rounded head of the woman's cock nest into the opening of her sex. "Put your cock inside of me," she grunted resentfully, raising her ass in the air simply to taunt Emma. "You want this as much as I do. It took you weeks to figure out how to turn yourself back into a woman, but only five seconds to get a magical hard-on for me. You want to come in my pussy. I bet you won't last…"

She balled her fists and yanked once more at her tethers, but after another unsuccessful attempt to get free, she only rocked backwards into Emma, spearing herself on the immense length of Emma's cock. "Doesn't that feel good?" she mockingly asked. "Don't I feel good around your cock? It must drive you insane, Emma. As much as you hate me right now, you love this."

Every word out of Regina's mouth fanned the flames of Emma's anger, especially because they were true. Feeling the need to retaliate, Emma struck Regina's bare ass cheek then squeezed the reddening flesh as she growled out, "I'm not the one dripping. Your pussy is practically clenching with need already," while her right hand came down once again in a punishing smack against Regina's ass. The sting of pain echoed up Emma's arm but she shook it off to snatch Regina's panties around her knees. With a swift tug the expensive fabric ripped and she balled it up in her palm, but then Regina bucked, and the sudden, glorious sensation of warm, wet muscles clasping her thick length left Emma gasping. She rocked forward without thinking, plunging every inch of herself inside her wife as a moan erupted from her throat.

It was Regina's taunting remarks that brought Emma back to reality, and she repaid the favor by yanking hard on the belt to pull Regina's ass backwards into her roughly. "You can't take all the credit Regina. I can feel you gripping me like you can't handle me ever leaving." Emma raked her nails over the vivid handprint she'd left across her wife's backside, then her hand snaked around Regina's hip to delve between her legs. Long fingers slid and teased the hard little bundle of nerves once she found it, and Emma whispered with a smirk, "Looks like these lips tell more truth than yours. At least your pussy lets me know what it needs, and judging by how easy you can take all of my cock, you need it bad."

Regina rolled her hips forward in time with Emma's pounding strokes, and listened to the wet smacking sounds of her satisfied pussy, the carnal articulations of all she wanted. "Oh god yes," she moaned, if only to distract Emma while she focused all of her magical energy on breaking through her leather cuffs. As soon as her hands were free, she stretched her arm out behind her back and pulled Emma closer, until their bodies were perfectly tangled – only then did she give her wife a rough push, knocking the woman off her balance. She shakily got to her feet and shoved Emma around the desk and down into her chair. Her eyes devoured the sight of Emma's stiff cock before she lowered herself into the woman's lap. "Obviously you aren't such a good listener or observer when it comes to me or my 'pussy'," she scoffed. "You should have seen that coming. "

"The only thing I'm interested in seeing coming Regina, is you." Emma spat out in anger as she stumbled over her jeans and cracked her knee against the desk. It didn't surprise her that Regina used that moment of unbalance to her advantage. By the time Emma realized that she'd been flung into a chair, Regina had already staked her claim in her lap and the woman's satisfying warmth latched around her again.

Regina lifted herself up and down to take Emma's cock, watching her sex stretch with every sinking motion. "Not yet," she husked. Lazily, she undid the buttons on Emma's shirt, but then savagely swiped her tongue over Emma's pulse point and bit down. "Tell me what you need, Emma," she whispered against Emma's earlobe. "Do you need me to ride you?" Tantalizingly, she put her breasts in Emma's face and began to bounce, feeling Emma's hot, rigid flesh slapping into her.

Emma wasn't proud of the noise she made as her wife pressed her breasts into her face and rode her hard. Emma's hands involuntarily pulled Regina closer, and for a split second she forgot they were fighting. The vicious bite broke the spell and the following taunts only hardened Emma's resolve as she snarled back, "I need you to stop enjoying the sound of your own voice so much." With a twisted, self-satisfied smirk, Emma forced Regina's ruined panties between her lips and then held her palm across her mouth to ensure silence for a gratifying moment.

Regina flared her nostrils and jerked her head in anger, but Emma only dropped her hands to her wife's ass and dug her fingers roughly into the fleshy globes. Without warning she stood up, and in three swift paces, carried Regina to the window and slammed her back against it. "How does it feel Regina?" The sheriff pressed her forehead against her wife's and pinned her in place while her hips began a fast, strong pace. "To have the person who hates you the most fuck you the best? I bet it gets under your skin just how fucking wet you are for me."

Regina spat the panties out of her mouth as soon as Emma had her in position against the glass, and her whole body shook from Emma's vigorous pistoning motion in and out of her. Her eyes silently conveyed her displeasure, how much she despised being at Emma's mercy, but her pussy cared very little about Emma's barbs and sided with Emma on the matter. As the slick muscles deep inside of her tensed blissfully, she held onto Emma and let out a ragged moan, punctuated by a soft cry of "put me down."

She had pointed out that Emma hated her earlier, but it hurt to hear Emma echo the words back at her in such an intimate moment and with such conviction. Blood rushed to her face and she stumbled as Emma set her on her feet.

Out of reflex, Regina grabbed onto Emma's arm and then in a glance communicated how much she loved her wife and how heartbroken Emma's remark made her feel. She stared down at her useless hands, and then stepped into Emma until her mouth was close enough to share the heat with Emma's; she breathed in every exhale, until her lips tenderly sought the refuge of her wife's, asking for forgiveness with the soft kiss.

Blindly, Regina moved backwards, and took Emma's hand, leading her down to the rug on the floor and urging the taller woman to lie down on top of her. She pressed a kiss under Emma's ear and ran her hands gently up to her true love's shoulders. "Please don't hate me," she whispered. "I love you."

The outrage Emma expected to receive never came and the confusion was written all over her stunned face as Regina kissed her. It intensified as she let herself be guided down to the rug, and her eyes searched her wife's dark, sorrowful eyes for any hint of deceit. Emma couldn't find any trace of a lie, and some part of her resented Regina for ending the game. For forcing her to face a truth she'd tried to pretend wasn't real. How could someone love you and do such horrible things? Yet deep down, Emma knew why. Regina lived the only way she knew how. The way she'd been forced to live, before ultimately taking power for herself. The very fact that she understood that caused Emma to falter. It hit her quite suddenly that she was capable of forgiving Regina - the trouble was, Emma wasn't quite there yet.

Unable to say the words back, Emma conveyed her feelings through her actions instead. She held Regina's gaze as she slid down Regina's body to stretch out between her parted thighs. While her previous treatment of her wife had been punishing, Emma's hands as they coaxed Regina's knees up were positively gentle. Strong hands slid down to cup her wife's backside and she maintained eye contact as she lowered her mouth to kiss Regina's wet folds. For a long moment, Emma only breathed against Regina's pussy, feeling the heat radiate off of it, before she opened her mouth and slid her tongue soothingly between the woman's slick lips. Then her hands gripped a little more firmly, a squeeze of encouragement almost, as the tip of her tongue lavished the sensitive swollen bundle of nerves that made her wife's feet twitch.

Regina raised herself on weak elbows to watch in rapt awe as Emma stroked her tongue over her inflamed sex with affection and care; she stretched out her hand and lovingly dipped her fingers into Emma's hair, caressing the gold curls in appreciation. Her ribcage lifted and fell rapidly and she dropped her head back, lying flat as Emma's soft attentions stoked her inner warmth. A tear zigzagged down her cheek and into her gasping mouth, as she was overwhelmed by the sudden difference in her emotions. She craned her neck to one side, and stared down at Emma, her true love, as she connected their hands. "Emma," she breathed serenely, on the cusp of release. "Emma." She repeated the woman's name over and over again, while rolling her pelvis responsively to every perfect flick of Emma's tongue. "Emma, Emma, oh Emma…"

The sound of her name being called so breathlessly as Emma lapped at Regina, combined with the gentle fingers nestled in her blonde hair, diffused the anger inside the sheriff until all she was left with was raw desire and need. Oh, she didn't forgive her wife, but she still loved her even if it hurt. The taste of Regina's arousal would forever be something Emma relished, and when her lover's hips lifted and her muscles locked, Emma wrapped her lips around Regina and held on as she suckled to draw the woman's pleasure out.

Regina's moan caught in her throat as a pleasant spasm hit, which made her quiet and peaceful; she stayed still for a long time, then moved to lie beside Emma and drag the woman's arm around her.

She kissed Emma again, tasting herself from her lover's generous lips, then settled back into her wife. Placing her hand on Emma's, palm to palm, she whispered, "I'm going to make love to you… "

When Regina slid down to meet her with a kiss, Emma didn't hesitate from pushing her tongue between the woman's lips, sharing her taste with a low moan because fuck, even when they fought that was still so hot. But the declaration of Regina's intentions startled Emma. There was no denying she wanted it as her fingers filled the spaces between Regina's. It wasn't trust, but it was relinquishing some semblance of control and she wondered if she could give it up. With a heavy breath, Emma took her hands back and sat up. After a brief moment, she let her gaze land on Regina's, and removed her ruined shirt and the tank top beneath it. "Okay," she stated with a firm calmness.

Regina's defensive aggression was gone, and her touches were reverent and worshipful; she started by smoothing her skilled hands down Emma's taut stomach, lightly dragging her nails in spiraling patterns. She laved the underside of Emma's neck in kisses and raised goose bumps over her true love's exposed skin. As she tickled along the inside of Emma's thigh, her magic rushed out of her and returned Emma's anatomy to its original state.

Flexing her wrist, Regina positioned her hand in between Emma's legs. Her fingers pads grazed over her lover's delicate enclosure that was swollen from arousal and seeking the long, good rub she had to offer. She swept her thumb over the area, gliding around the periphery of the responsive nerves until her palm was damp with Emma's moisture. Her fingers roamed lower and she pushed the tip of her forefinger into Emma, up to the first knuckle.

Emma's mouth opened in silent need. It had been almost a year since Regina had touched her like this. Had been inside of her, had been at one with her, and it overwhelmed Emma with a flood of emotion she hadn't been prepared for. Memories of how happy they had been swam in her mind.

Regina sensed that Emma needed her reassurance, and she praised Emma with a tender kiss as soon as her fingers were slotted deeply inside Emma. "Good girl," she whispered.

Emma sucked in a choked breath as her wife whispered the two simple words against her lips. "Yours," she whispered shakily, and rather than fight her desires she gave in and let herself drown in them.

There was something equally freeing as there was frightening about how Emma's body splayed for Regina, though her arms snared Regina in needy abandon as her hips began to rock into her wife's hand, forcing her fingers in deeper. The scent of sex clung to the air and the sheriff let out a small, soft moan and pressed herself against the woman who had betrayed her. The woman who loved her most. The woman she couldn't live without. Emma's teeth sought out Regina's shoulder as she clung onto Regina, allowing her wife to take control as much as she needed it to be taken from her.

Regina crooked her fingers inside of Emma in a come hither motion, which made her true love's muscles clutch at her and slickened her adept hands. With short, quicker strokes over Emma's bud of sensitive nerves, and slower, thorough thrusts of her fingers, Regina saw to it that her wife relaxed and gave into the pleasure. She encouraged Emma to lift her hips, and guided Emma's ankles further apart. "That's it," she hummed approvingly. "Take my fingers deep inside of you. Let me make you mine."

She kept her lips close to Emma's ear, and flattened her small frame against Emma's, letting the woman hold onto her. "You're going to be good for me," she purred. "You feel so whole like this, don't you Emma? I'm in love with you, and I love doing this to you… "

She swayed with Emma and drove her fingers into her lover until she felt resistance. "Right there," she murmured, listening to Emma whimper at the sensation. "You need this. Shh, shh. Come for me."

Emma's emotions swirled inside her creating a perfect storm as Regina's words echoed in her mind. Emma's hands restlessly clawed and clutched at Regina's back as she experienced not only the intense hurt of her wife's careless actions that brought them so close to destroying each other, but also the surge of love and undeniable need that she wanted her. Wanted her as a wife. Wanted her to fix everything. Emma craved to express it, yet all she managed was to sink her teeth into Regina's shoulder hard, stifling the choked moan and sob as the woman whispered truths into her ear.

The moment Regina's fingers pushed deeper into her was the moment Emma fell back against the rug. Her hips thrust upwards and the muscles of her legs and ass clenched and tightened as pleasure seized her so completely. She gave Regina everything she had, and opened her mouth to cry out as her orgasm hit her like a bolt of lightening. Colors sparked behind her closed eyes and she shook against the smaller woman for a long moment before sinking to the floor with a stuttered gasp. Tears stung Emma's eyes and blurred her vision as she blinked Regina back into focus.

Emma felt incredibly vulnerable. Raw and exposed under Regina's dark gaze, and in the haze of her bliss, the armor she'd tried to lock her heart in shattered, and Emma finally couldn't hold it in any longer. Thick droplets slid down her cheeks as Emma began to sob. Everything was so fucked up. How did it get this so fucked up? Why couldn't Regina just hate her? Why was she still in love with Regina? Why couldn't everything just be simple for once? It was in that second she knew, without a doubt, that she wouldn't leave Regina, and that only made her ache all the more. "Am I really that bad that you can't talk to me?" Emma managed shakily, and then rolled onto her side, immediately looking for her clothes because they created a false sense of safety and protection.

"No," Regina breathed. "It's… just that my problems were never solved by talking. In fact, talking has always gotten me into more trouble." She squinted thoughtfully, and fixed her lips together while glancing away; she'd knew she'd have to act cautiously since Emma was feeling guarded and she didn't want the moment between them to end. "My mother never let me have my own opinions. She always told me how I was supposed to feel. If I opened my mouth to say I didn't agree, I was punished for it." Her shoulders were drawn inward, and she ran her hands up and down her arms as though chilled. "But I've learned it doesn't matter what anyone says. It's more important what they do. I made the wrong choice when it came to our child, and what I did to you afterwards is… well, unforgivable. I not only took your memories, but when the guilt became too much for me to handle, I made you think you were to blame for the problems in our marriage. But it was never your fault." Two tears caught in her lashes and then hit her cheek.

"Even now, I can't sit here and explain to you why I made those choices," Regina whispered hoarsely. "I've tried… so hard to become like you, to make the decisions I always thought you would make, but when it came to us, I failed. I panicked and I did what I've always done—I ruined everything I ever dreamed of having." She sniffled and shook her head, then tucked her knees into her chest.

"You know, during your first month in Storybrooke, you said something to me that's always remained in the back of my mind. You told me to take a good look in the mirror. What I never told you is that I spent years and years doing just that, trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I still don't have an answer, but… whenever I've thought I was doing good, the end result was always the same. My 'good' is never good enough. Not for my mother, not for that despicable man that I was forced to marry, not for Snow White, or anyone I ever tried to make love me. The only time I've ever truly felt like I was good enough was with you and Henry, and now, that… feeling is gone. I don't deserve you." Regina hung her head, silenced by a sudden spasming sob in her throat; she handed Emma the rest of her clothes and then withdrew.

The torment Emma felt didn't lessen as she listened to Regina. Every word that spilled from the woman's mouth only begged Emma to ask why. Why couldn't her wife trust her? Hadn't she proved time and again that she'd be there for her? Hadn't she stood up for her even when they hadn't been friends let alone lovers? At every opportunity, Emma made sure she had Regina's back, and it felt as if Regina valued that less than all the things of her past. Fuck, Emma had worked hard at repairing the damage from her own past; it hadn't been easy to start the relationship. Hell, it hadn't been easy to admit she wanted them to be a family, yet she still proposed. During the course of their relationship, even when she felt like running, Emma had remained in Storybrooke. It wasn't good enough though, was it? Not when Regina saw fit to throw it in her face every time they had a disagreement that she was prone to running off. Jesus, she'd said so half an hour ago before they'd fucked all over the study.

By the time Emma had tugged on her clothes and fixed her shirt with magic given the tears and missing buttons, Regina was on her way out the door. "Wait." Emma called after her, pale fingers securing her repaired belt as she walked out of the room to find Regina. Alright, so she didn't exactly feel like cuddling and curling up in post orgasmic bliss, because reality had shattered that illusion the moment her pleasure had ended, but it felt wrong to leave things the way they were.

"Look, I know you're expecting me to brush off what you say and I get it okay. The past few times you've tried to open up I've shut you down but it's not because I don't want to know these things, Regina. It's because…" Emma paused to run her fingers through her hair and took a step towards Regina, momentarily distracted by the sensation her tight jeans created against her. She cleared her throat and shrugged with a heavy sigh. "Honestly, you have bad timing. You wait until I'm either pissed off or we're in the middle of arguing and it makes me feel like crap. How am I supposed to listen to all of that when I'm so angry at you? I can't, so..." Emma's lips tugged down at the sides and she stuck her hands into her back pockets.

It felt odd, standing apart after all they had just done. "I…" Emma's mind filled with the image of Regina bent over her desk, ass in the air, bound, with that red hand print so vivid against her wife's olive skin. The surge of arousal it had caused at the time had surprised her, but then again, so had the feeling of power.

With a shake of her head, Emma tried to clear her thoughts to continue. "We need to talk. Rationally, not like…" Emma's hand lifted to wave aimlessly behind her, "That. I mean I'm all for rough sex but uh, it should be planned first with… Rules and-..." Fuck, what was she even saying? Emma cringed and brought one hand up to rub her face as she groaned. "Whatever, that's not important. Can we just give each other space for a few hours, to think and calm down, and then tonight we can actually sit down and just… Talk?"

Regina took a sharp breath and shook her head tearfully. Her naked shoulders shuddered and she shrank into the solid door of the study, holding onto it since holding onto Emma was out of the question. "No," she whispered. "Not tonight. It's not that I don't want to talk, but I think we should wait until tomorrow when Henry is at school. We have an appointment with Dr. Hopper in the morning. I cleared my schedule for the day. Hopefully you can do the same." She stretched out her hand, softly touched Emma on the back, and then fled from the room in a hurry, before her wife could see her chin tremble or hear her quiet crying. As fast as her feet could carry her, she went to bathroom and stood in front of the mirrored vanity cabinet; she sniffed sorrowfully and ripped the cap off a bottle of prescribed sleeping pills. Her fingers shook as she emptied two of the tablets into her hand and swallowed them down with water. She wouldn't allow herself to indulge in self-loathing, pity, or even more destructive emotions; she needed to be unconscious, and drowsiness was already overtaking her. Shivering, she went to the wardrobe and chose a more practical pajama set, with a satin button up shirt and matching bottoms. She put herself to bed, even though the clock on the nightstand told her it was only half past seven; she stared at the red numbers until she heard the door swing open and shut downstairs, and Henry's noisy footfalls as he went down the hall to his bedroom. She waited for Emma to join her, and found herself thinking of her wife's protective arms wrapped snugly around her waist; she listened to the familiar sounds of the house, the churnings of the heater and the soft huff of the vents, hoping that the next sound would be Emma ascending the staircase and coming to bed.

But then the front door opened and swung shut.

Regina pushed herself up from bed just in time to watch as Emma's bug crawled down the driveway. She pressed her palm against the window, and glared at her shadowy reflection in the glass – at the cavernous spaces where her eyes should be, and the slashed lip that got that way because it never did what it was told to do.

_Don't talk back to me._

__She should have done what Emma asked. She should have talked. But would it have made the difference?_ _


	13. Chapter 13

Despite fixing her clothes, in her haste to get out of the house meant Emma forgot to wash her face. Her green eyes widened slightly as she parked her bug outside The Rabbit Hole and eyed herself in the rearview mirror. No wonder her jaw ached. Regina's fist had left a big dark purple and blue welt, and the corner of her lip had split disastrously well. Tentatively she prodded it with the tip of her tongue and hissed. Well, at least it had stopped bleeding, but the dried crimson smeared across her chin and cheek wasn't helping her appearance any. Quick fingers pulled out the pack of wet wipes she kept in the glove box. After one too many bear claws resulted in her steering wheel getting sticky, she'd taken to keeping a pack in her car at all times. Gently, Emma cleaned her face, and as she raised her chin up to inspect herself she noticed the claw marks down her neck. They vanished beneath her shirt collar. Angry, sharp, red lines that only seemed emphasized by her pale complexion. A gift, it seemed, from Regina's fury.

Fuck it, she wanted a drink, and she could just magic herself back home anyway, now that she could do that. With her mind made up, Emma got out of her car and entered the rather dingy establishment. The upside was she felt comfortable in the shoddy place. The downside was, regardless of where she went, everyone knew her. So with her head held high, aware that she was attracting glances simply by existing, Emma made her way to the bar and claimed a seat for herself. She could relax when the only thing that faced her was rows of bottles instead of curious faces. The guy behind the bar slung a dirty rag over his soiled shirt and leaned towards her, "What'll it be Sheriff?"

Emma glanced behind him. How trashed did she want to be? Black out or comfortably numb? No, fuck, she couldn't get that inebriated, they had couples therapy in the morning. "Uh, glass of scotch and beer." Emma muttered absently, while she snagged her cell phone to shoot off a quick text to her dad about switching shifts with her and driving her bug back to the mansion since she was at The Rabbit Hole. Before her drinks arrived, he'd already messaged back saying it wouldn't be a problem.

From across the bar, Winnie quirked an eyebrow at Emma, at the sheriff's untidy appearance and at the woman's choice of poison. She put down the pool stick she had been holding, winked at her friends Nora and Elene, and then slinked up beside the unsuspecting savior. "You look like you've had a rough night." Confidently, she sank onto the stool next to Emma and let her eyes dig into the dark marks on the sheriff's neck, as if imagining what damage her own claws could do to a person's skin. She caught herself before she smiled and gave Emma the softest, sympathetic look she could manage. "I didn't come over here to flirt, if that's what you're thinking. My ex and I decided to work it out. One day I hope I'll be able to get her to take the stick out of her ass... that is, metaphorically speaking. In the bedroom, she's very open to dabbling. " She smirked and tapped her hand on the bar top as a sign that she wanted a drink. "So how are you and Regina doing? I see you're a woman again. Definitely prefer you as a woman. You've got nice tits." Before Emma could reprimand her, she threw down a few bills to cover Emma's drink and playfully nudged her in the side. "Relax. I'll lay off, alright? I just came here to drink. Have a drink with me, and listen to me complain about my relationship. It'll make you feel better about yours."

Emma had just raised the glass of scotch up to her lips when Winnie slinked over and settled beside her. With a weary sigh, Emma muttered, "It just keeps getting better." Then downed the amber liquid without so much as flinching. Honestly, she quite liked the taste, it had grown on her over the years but what she enjoyed most of all was the burn as it scorched its way down to her stomach. Emma slid her empty glass towards the bartender for a refill even as she snagged up her pint of beer, because fuck, out of everyone that could have been here, of course it was Winnie. Emma turned slightly to eye the redhead and quirked an eyebrow at the new relationship development. "Congratulations." Emma even managed to smile despite the way her mind raced. What lunatic would take her back? No wait, that wasn't fair, Winnie was a little bat-shit for sure but she wasn't awful.

Then again, with the sudden crass remark about her cleavage, Emma decided she'd been right the first time. Even if she did subtly look down at herself to establish yeah, she wasn't so bad. "Well, as much as it pains me to admit, not the first time I've heard that. Usually from guys. Usually when they're standing in groups across the street." Emma wasn't even sorry as she lumped Winnie into the cat-calling asshole gang, but she sure did grin as she chugged her beer. It had nothing to do with thirst. "My relationship's fine." Emma countered, but fuck, Winnie had already ordered for her, and now she had two more glasses of scotch and another beer. Well, five drinks wasn't that bad, and if Emma was honest with herself, she'd have probably gotten them herself anyway. Emma released a resigned sigh and flicked her gaze towards the clock on the wall. It wasn't even eight o'clock yet. "But if you wanna talk about yours, I'm all ears."

"Fabulous." Winnie banged her hands on the bar top again as if performing a drumroll, and then greedily swallowed the shots the bartender set down in front of her. "My ex and current girlfriend is a closeted mega bitch," she laughed heartily. "But we've been together forever, the sex is out of this world, and I've had the time to look around and see what's out there. I'm not going to find better." She reached for Emma's beer glass and let her hand linger after she pushed it closer to Emma. "Honestly, no one has ever gone down on me the way she does."

With a smug grin, she began to pick through the bowl of pretzels in front of her, occasionally popping one into her mouth if it was extra salty. "How about you?" she asked offhandedly. "I know you're not going to tell me about your sex life, but I love to speculate. I bet the sex is good with the Mayor. She wears those 'fuck me' heels all of the time, and the two of you constantly undress each other with your eyes. Leaves very little to the perverted imagination."

"Sorry," Winnie sheepishly continued, "Back to me, and my issues. My girlfriend won't allow me to sleep over when her roommates are around. Every time I visit her place, I have to sneak into her room and leave quietly after we're done."

"I-..." Emma faltered, because holy fuck did Winnie over share everything. How the hell was she meant to respond to that? "That's uh, well, as long as both of you are happy I guess…" It was on the tip of Emma's tongue to ask who this girl was, but given she was in the closet it would be in poor taste to find out. Wouldn't it? Regardless of mild curiosity, Emma had no intentions of getting mixed up in gossip, so she was happy to leave Winnie's love interest as a mystery. Though the quip about oral sex did indeed evoke a blush from Emma, who now had the recent memories of going down on Regina. Emma's tongue slid across her lower lip at the thought of tasting her wife, and then she shook her head and quickly finished off her first beer in three large gulps.

Just in time for Winnie to slide another her way. "Thanks." Emma stated casually, then did a double take as the redhead asked about her sex life. "I'm sure there was a compliment in there somewhere." She stated dryly, though she squinted at Winnie as if to assess the level of bullshit, or rather, work out just why she was so interested in her sex life. Emma took a sip of beer, then another, because the first left a weird taste in her mouth. "So are you this interested in everyone's sex life, or just me and the Mayors? I mean my wife's." Why the hell had she just called Regina 'the Mayor'? She'd hardly called her that since they'd been married unless they were teasing one another, and quite often, that was when they were alone…

Winnie smiled vixenishly and shrugged as she coiled one of her fingers through a wispy strand of her light red hair. "It's just a little girl talk," she chuckled. "I always talk to my friends about their sex lives. I guess it's different with you, though. Your best friend is also your mother. You don't have many friends." She paused to drink when Emma did, and then frowned as she shoved her empty shot glasses away.

Emma bristled at the conclusion Winnie drew and felt the need to promptly cut in with, "Hey, I have friends! And my best friend isn't my mom, it's R-... Irrelevant. It's Irrelevant." Emma sighed and glanced down at her pint. Times like these really made her miss Elsa. Well, at least they could talk via mirror magic, though it had been a few weeks. The idea of opening up to Winnie was as appealing as taking a pickaxe to the face, so Emma bought herself some time by downing the beer and glancing at the clock. "I thought we were talking about you?" she asked. "Tell me, why doesn't your girlfriend just spend time at your place?" She gave the redhead a curious look and drank some more before she shrugged and added offhandedly, "Saves you both the trouble of sneaking around her roommates. Would probably make things easier for you both."

"If you knew my girlfriend, you'd understand why it's hard to get her to go out," Winnie sulkily explained. "She doesn't want to be seen with me in public. She visits occasionally, but she's paranoid that someone's going to find out about us." Agilely, she got to her feet and leaned over the bar top to help herself to the liquor. "Anyway," she purred breezily, "Enough about her. I've dished enough. Are you ready to tell me why you're sitting here, or do I have to get you sloppy drunk to get you to open up? I mean, it's been twenty minutes. You should totally be into sharing by now. We've bonded."

"Not much to say, and honestly, after you propositioned us at the fair?" Emma gave Winnie a look that said she needed to take a step back then added seriously, "Regina wouldn't take too kindly to you asking stuff about our relationship. Sexual or otherwise. You're lucky she didn't do anything more than hurl a fireball at you." The thought of Winnie rolling about in the snow evoked a slight chuckle before Emma could quell it, and she licked her lips and tried to compose herself despite wincing as she irritated the healing wound there. "As appealing as sloppy drunk is, I need to get home soon." Emma emphasized this by knocking back the remaining two shots of scotch. She slapped her palm against the counter then pulled her wallet out to pay. Somewhere in her mind, she knew drinking too fast was a bad idea, but if it meant getting away from Winnie, she'd rather be drunk.

Winnie batted her eyelashes thoughtfully and nodded in understanding. "Get home safely," she sang. "I'd offer to be your designated driver, but given all you just said, I don't think Regina would be too happy if I suddenly showed up on your doorstep. I can call you a taxi, though." She tugged her cell phone out of her jean pants and began dialing the number of the only local cab service.

"Nah, I'm fine, but thanks." Emma muttered with a wave of her hand and pushed open the thick doors to step into the cold night. The bite of chilled air set her lungs blazing, but as she walked down the street she began to feel the effects of the alcohol she'd consumed. The ache in her jaw lessened, her body warmed even in such freezing temperatures, and her mind found some semblance of peace. At least, she was no longer fixated on what hurt or angered her. No, as Emma walked down the street, she found herself grinning up at the stars instead of scowling at them accusingly.

Though, as she stumbled over her own foot and began laughing, she realized perhaps walking wasn't the greatest of plans either. Halfway home, Emma looked around the street and shrugged before closing her eyes and mimicked her wife by throwing her hands into the air dramatically. There was no purple cloud for Emma, just a pure white light that wrapped her up and took her with it. Emma opened her eyes a second later and let out a delighted hiss of, "Yes!" She'd done it, successfully, with no fuck ups. Emma stood in the foyer of the mansion and grinned stupidly. Though she squinted to try and focus as she bent over to remove her boots, one clattered loudly and the other refused to come off. Emma tugged harder, and tumbled sideways into the coat rack as it came free. "Shhhh! Shh! Quiet." Emma instructed the inanimate objects, her hands held up as if silencing a group of people.

In an attempt to make as little noise as possible, Emma took to the stairs like a cat burglar in one of those old cartoons she'd used to love as a kid. She tiptoed all the way up the stairs, except for the last one, which she kicked, and sent herself shoulder first into the wall with a muffled cry of, "Son of a bitch!" Thankfully, the cabinet nearby gave her leverage and she straightened up with a bit of a smirk when she caught sight of the flowers in the vase. On impulse, she plucked one out and twirled it between her fingers as she made her way down the hall and into their bedroom.

Emma woke without so much as a memory of how she got home, or a hangover. The sheets were barely covering her, and she stumbled, bleary eyed, into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, she walked back out in a cloud of steam, freshly showered with minty fresh breath, and proceeded to get dressed. A brief glance towards the bed was all she needed to know Regina was awake. Despite the covers and the fact that Regina's back was to her, Emma knew the difference between her wife's relaxed sleeping form, and the tense posture Regina held when trying to pretend she was. Honestly, it worked in her favor, because right then she didn't feel like she could face Regina. Not after yesterday, and what had transpired in the study. Vivid, blooded scratches down her chest left her ashamed, and she covered them quickly by buttoning up her shirt.

"I'm going to make Henry breakfast." Emma stated to the silent room as she zipped up her boots. "Our appointment is in an hour, and I want coffee and a bear claw at Granny's before we go."

Without waiting to be acknowledged, Emma left their bedroom and shut the door quietly behind her. Henry's door was still closed as she made her way down the hall, but rather than knock, she went for the stairs and straight to the kitchen. The easy ritual of moving around, cooking eggs and pancakes, helped to keep her thoughts at bay. There was a calmness to her movements that had seemed to be lacking over the past few days, and for a few minutes, nothing else existed for her. No troubled marriage, no parents the same age, no magic, nothing. Just the bright, cold morning light and herself.

Until the scent of breakfast invoked Henry to appear, his booted feet stomping into the kitchen with all the grace of a running bull. Truly, he was his mother's son. "You made chocolate chip pancakes? What happened, did you get lai-uh, late shift at the station?" Henry's rumpled half tucked in shirt and squinting eyes said quite clearly that he was still half asleep, and from the shade of his mortified face, hoping that his mother hadn't heard him.

Emma turned to quirk an eyebrow at her son. Oh, she'd heard.

Though before she had the chance to pounce on it, Henry beat her by pointing accusingly at her, "Your face."

The tip of Emma's tongue probed her bruised, split lip and she sighed. "Kid, it's not what you think." Hopefully the sight of his full plate would distract him, but even as she sat it in front of him she knew it was useless.

Henry continued to stare at her; then, with a shrug, he turned his attention to the pancakes he'd raced down to get. "I know." He mumbled around a mouthful, melted chocolate coating his lips as he shoveled another piece into his mouth. "I saw."

Emma 's split second relief shattered as she gaped at her son, "You saw? What do you mean you saw?" No. He couldn't have witnessed them, he'd gone out. Unless he'd come back…

Oblivious to his biological mother's imminent heart attack, Henry scoffed, "Yeah, what did you do, get drunk and trip taking your boots off last night?" His grin turned wicked as he laughed, "Surprised mom didn't make you sleep on the couch, you totally fell into the cabinet upstairs. No wonder you busted your lip."

"I-" Emma faltered, she hated to lie to her son, but what was going on between her and Regina had to stay between them. She forced herself to crack a smile and shrugged lightly, "You know it's bad manners to sass someone who just made your favorite breakfast?"

"You know it sets a bad example to get wasted when you have an impressionable teen?" Henry's smirk rivaled Regina's as he scooped up eggs and chewed them smugly.

With a sly grin of her own, Emma leaned her hip against the kitchen counter and crossed her arms. "That's some serious talk, almost like you forget who gives you an allowance…"

Henry's smirk dropped along with his jaw, before he caught himself and spluttered, "I wasn't saying anything!"

"Uh huh, that's what I thought." Emma laughed, then tousled her son's hair. "Ten minutes to get your jacket and bag or you'll miss the bus, so eat up."

Once he'd finished, and he'd given her a hug before rushing out the door, Emma washed up then sat down to wait for Regina.

With stiff and short steps, Regina came into the kitchen; she expected to feel riled after Emma's late night disappearance, but what she actually felt was much different. Her red-rimmed eyes flicked towards Emma, but she found it difficult to speak around the lump in her throat. She gathered her arms around her, attempting to soothe herself, but even that calming little habit did nothing for her.

Regina's legs carried her to Emma, and she ran her fingertips gently across Emma's collar; she didn't hold onto the taller woman, but she stood close and let her head find the spot that her hand ultimately vacated, on Emma's chest. "Hey," she muttered, and her eyebrows were stitched tightly together, as if she was confused by her own overture. "I wasn't sure you were coming back last night." She took a sideways stride towards the coffee pot, full of uncertainty over whether or not she'd be able to handle Emma's reaction to her.

"Hey." The greeting sounded like it had stuck in Emma's throat, and she swallowed thickly as Regina confessed a worry that hadn't even entered her own mind. The silence that followed was registered only by how hard her pulse seemed to beat, and Emma had to wonder how the woman could still make her palms sweat from sheer proximity.

Even though she didn't want any coffee, Regina emptied all that remained into her usual mug, and then stared down into the blackened brew. She didn't bother to add sugar or cream, although the bitterness of the drink immediately affronted her taste buds and her upset stomach.

Relenting, Regina snatched up a teaspoon from the silverware drawer and added two dashes of sugar to her cup. She turned and leaned heavily back into the countertop, regretting her choice as soon as her rear came into contact with the wood. Still, she endured the sting it caused and nursed her morning coffee while stealing glances at Emma. She wanted so badly to say the right thing; she parted her lips in anticipation of it, her heart clenching in the fear she might get it wrong yet again. "I'm sorry we fought," she finally exhaled. "I'm sorry I instigated it." She set down her coffee mug and reached out again, her fingers barely touching Emma's arm. "What happened between us terrifies me. Hurting each other…"

Her clarity deserted her, and Regina could only gaze down at the floor between them and think of the many times she'd hurt others and been hurt in kind. "We- shouldn't hurt each other."

She'd invited the pain, and even believed she needed it to relieve her of her guilt; instead, she was miserable and disgusted by her own treatment of Emma. "I wanted to talk afterwards," she whispered. "But I think we both need to feel safe for any good to come of it, and first we need to work on re-building our trust. I haven't been doing that. Over the past few weeks, I've allowed you to express your anger, while I've tiptoed around you, or I've stoked your rage. And… all you wanted was this…" She grabbed Emma's hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "Wasn't it? All you wanted was for me to look you in the eye, and tell you that I am not going to let you go, Emma. You mean everything to me, and I am going to make this right, because the thought of losing you is unbearable, in spite of the months I spent convincing you otherwise. We've already lost… a little part of you, a little part of us. To be honest, I can't stop thinking about her. I will never stop thinking of her. I'll never have peace because of it – because of what I did to her, and what I did to you. But I want you to have peace. I want you to feel safe again, and to know that you are loved. Please give me the chance to show you that I do love you, even though I'm undeserving – even though there are parts of me that are detestable…"

"I'm sorry too." Emma finally whispered, her green eyes sad as they met Regina's. She couldn't take it back, some of the cruel things she'd slung at her wife had unfortunately been true, and they both knew it. Truth spilled from Regina's lips, the tone gentle, but it was the tentative grip of her hand that had Emma blinking back tears. Hearing it out loud, being acknowledged, left her feeling vulnerable, and she wasn't entirely sure how to deal with that when she could still feel Regina's nails biting into her skin. Reminding her of how she'd treated her wife in turn. Emma's stomach lurched and she squeezed Regina's hand. "I don't want that either. We can't go back to slamming each other into things." Natural instinct kicked in as Emma took her hand back and hooked her thumbs into her back pockets. She sniffed and gathered her composure just to smirk lightly and shrug. "Well, not in anger anyway." Sarcasm had always been a trusty shield to Emma, and she would wield it as long as she could.

The weight of the conversation smothered Emma, the usual impulse to flee left her feeling itchy, but how long could she keep on running from their problems? At the very least, Regina was actively making an effort now, and the correct response wasn't running out the door. So Emma sucked in a deep breath, gazed at the wall, and then at her wife. "I haven't exactly been making it easy to talk to me." Her blonde hair bounced as she rocked back on her heels. "It's hard, Regina." Emma's voice was a quiet, small, as she met the woman's dark eyes. "Just being around you, seeing you everyday. Wanting to see you everyday. I feel like I'm at war with myself because one half of me lights up when you're near me, and the other half darkens. It's like being two people at the same time, the one that wants to just feel your arms around me, and the other that wants to push you away." After a long pause Emma's pained expression turned more perplexed as she shook her head that. "But I want to try to fix this, so, if our appointment goes well maybe…" Emma shrugged lightly, trying to dispel the conflicted feelings roiling within her gut. "I dunno, we could go see a movie or something tonight." It was said casually, or at least, as casually as Emma could manage, which wasn't much at all given her sudden avoidance of eye contact.

Regina stood numbly beside Emma, her eyes fixated on a point on the floor; she clutched her arms close to her body, desperate for a comfort she might never feel again. "A movie would be nice," she murmured, but she needed so much more than a night spent together, attempting to concentrate on a film that would make conversation unlikely. She caught her reflection in the side of the toaster—disheartened, pathetic, and helpless.

Her chin pushed outward as Regina resisted crying and stood up straighter. "We'd better get going if you want to stop at Granny's. I also need to run by the convent this morning before we go see Archie. I have to talk to the Mother Superior about the government funding she's requested for repairs. With everything that's been going on, I'd forgotten all about it." She shuffled off to get her coat and then waited for Emma in the car.

The entire drive to the diner, Emma concentrated on the road and barely glanced at her wife. Only when Regina ran out to get their coffee did Emma release a deep breath and glance after the woman. It was strange, the almost lack of reaction she'd gotten back at the house about seeing a movie. Emma frowned and tightened her hands on the wheel. In her own mind, the offer to see something had been a rather tentative step towards Regina's request to spend time together. Emma already felt anxious about it, and the storm clouds above that darkened the town gave her the oddest sensation of deja vu. It had been a day like this that she'd first plucked up the courage to ask Regina to the movies. Their first date, without either of them stating it in fear that the other hadn't taken it that way. Hell, the entire movie had been one tense blur, until their fingers had brushed together around the sides of the soda cup.

Regina returned balancing two take away cups of coffee and a bag that held a bear claw for Emma and her usual egg whites, although she found the smell of the eggs unappetizing as she unwrapped the foil around that covered them.

Emma was pulled out of her memory with a gasp as Regina slid back into the car. Distracted with her own thoughts, the sheriff barely remembered in time that they were going to the convent, and the abrupt way she stomped on the brake was enough to startle even herself. Coffee sloshed into her lap and she hissed, "Shit." She spat, then turned to look at Regina with an apologetic cringe as she changed course. "Forgot you wanted to make a stop first."

Regina's stomach tossed, and she threw a critical glance at Emma. "If you continue to drive this way, I am going to be sick in your car. And you have enough mystery stains on the upholstery as is…" She tried breathing in through her nose and exhaling slowly, but in the end, could only lay her head back on the seat and groan. "I need you to pull over."

With a shake of her head, Emma nestled her coffee between her thighs and turned down the road to let her wife out.

Regina threw up on the rows of petunias that the Blue Fairy enchanted to survive the harsh Maine winters; surely the flowers would be impervious to a little vomit.

The sound of Regina heaving turned Emma's own stomach, but not enough to keep her from snagging a piece of her pastry to chew on. In the distance she watched the clouds darken and roll across the sky.

"Hey, you okay over there?" Emma was about to swing her door open when she caught sight of the Convent.

"I'm fine," Regina snapped irritably. "Thanks for your concern." Her nausea struck her as different from the illness she experienced as a result of her magic overdose, but she didn't want to consider what that might mean. She drew in a deep breath through her nostrils and shut her stinging eyes, imagining what it would be like if she and Emma weren't at odds. Perhaps she would have ranked higher on Emma's priorities, and her wife would have put the bear claw aside to hold her hair or soothingly rub her back.

The past was always destined to repeat itself, or so it seemed; Emma hardly noticed, or thought nothing of these first signs of morning sickness.

Emma frowned as she squinted at the building. "When did the Convent get gargoyles?" The question was bemused as Regina settled herself back in her seat, and Emma took off at a much slower speed. As much as she hated to admit Regina was right, there were enough stains in her bug.

Regina buckled her seatbelt and reached for a stack of napkins she'd gotten at the diner. She wiped furiously at her mouth and only then registered what was occupying Emma's full attention.

There were moments in Emma's life where she could almost feel time slowing to a stop. The majority of which, she'd realise later, occupied her stay in Storybrooke. Though she heard Regina, was aware of the woman in her peripheral vision, Emma had frozen in place. The storm clouds stopped rolling across the sky, tree branches bent and swayed slowly in the wind, and then as one every gargoyle turned its attention to her . Wide green eyes stared unblinkingly at the winged beasts while her hands tightened around the wheel. "Regina." Emma hushed under her breath, unable to look away from the sight of the creatures leaning forward menacingly atop the building. Stone crumbled beneath curling claws as a flash of lightning split the sky. "Hold on."

Regina stared at the row of gargoyles and frowned when they blinked back at her and began ripping shingles from the convent's roof. "Ugh, The Blue Fairy might have mentioned that in her report."

Emma revved the engine and shoved the gear stick into reverse, the screech of tires was soon drowned out by the cry of protest as the beasts leapt into the air, taking part of the Convent roof with them. "Where the hell did they come from?" Emma yelled over the noise, her hand quick on the gear stick as she swung the car around and pressed her foot heavily onto the gas pedal. The car shot forward at an alarming speed, pushing them back into their seats as Emma checked the mirrors. "Call my parents, we don't know if there's more in town."

The coffee between her thighs was soon tossed out the window after it spilled down her legs, utterly forgotten. In her haste to turn down the next street, she narrowly avoided hitting an oncoming car; the blare of their horn didn't even register with Emma. She ducked down to glance in the mirror, mumbling under her breath before announcing breathlessly, "I count eight, what the hell do we do? Can't stop, can't drive back to town, can only go…" A light bulb all but went off over Emma's head as she slapped her hand against the wheel. "The town line, it worked with the Chernabo-"

Metal screeched and buckled as a tree trunk bounced against the hood, shattering the back window and taking off a wing mirror. Emma's hands yanked the car sideways in reflex, the car skidded slightly against the road but she managed to keep it steady as she swung her head to gaze out her shattered window. "Wha-!" Emma sputtered, horrified, albeit slightly impressed. "They're working as a team to throw trees !" The ones at the back appeared to be working to snap off what they could, while the others passed them along so that the front two could hurl them like darts. "We need to get off the road!" Though Emma would never, ever, ever , admit that Regina's remark about her bug being a metal coffin was true, she couldn't help but start to feel it.

"What is it with your family and winged creatures?" Regina growled. "Your mother has an unnatural obsession with winged creatures and now winged creatures have an unnatural obsession with you..- " The swerving of the car stifled any further remarks as Regina was hit by another wave of nausea. She bit her tongue and flattened herself against her seat, picturing how the windshield might look covered in a splatter of her vomit.

If the unexpected assault from the gargoyles wasn't enough, the light misty drizzle outside turned into a downpour. Raindrops hit the car all at once, and the stone fist of a gargoyle smashed through the driver's window, reaching for Emma and soaking them both in the process. Emma lost control of wheel and wrestled with the gargoyle in her lap, while Regina focused all of her magic on slowing the car - but the Bug barreled onward into the trees.

At the sacrifice of the car, she reached out and touched Emma's shoulder, enveloping Emma in a cloud of her purple energy. She clung to Emma, holding her tightly in a way she hadn't since before the complete destruction of their marriage. Panting and disheveled, they both reappeared in the forest, far enough from the car to get a head start on the monsters that were chasing them. "Wait," she complained, as Emma quickly withdrew and began to move. "I can't run. Gold's cabin isn't too far away. Let's go there, call your parents, and figure out a plan."

Emma's booted feet carried her forward a few steps, blood and blonde hair stuck to her face and she stumbled left, then turned wildly towards the right, disorientated as she caught her breath. Regina's voice gave her something to focus on as she stilled herself. In the distance, the shrieks of the gargoyles carried in the wind, and Emma bristled as she caught Regina's arm to guide her in front. "As long as we keep moving we should be fine." It wasn't the best plan but it would get them out of the storm and that was enough for now. "Watch your feet, it's slippery with the rain." That was an understatement. The wind whipped branches into their faces, the dirt beneath their feet became thick mud, all the leaves and twigs covering it sure as hell didn't help either.

With one hand on Regina's lower back, Emma urged the woman forward while she kept her gaze on the trees behind them. "They're getting closer." She muttered worriedly, watching as trees shook in the distance with violent force. It chilled her to realize they were actively looking for them. "New plan." Emma blurted as branches began to be tossed in the air like confetti. The cabin was just in front of them and the sheriff ushered Regina towards the door and pushed it open. "You call my parents, I'll lead them away from here."

"Absolutely not," Regina spat.

On Regina's protest, Emma shook her head, "You said it yourself, I'm like a magnet for these things, so if they really are after me I'm not going to stay here so they can attack you too. Get help, find out what the hell they are, and call me the second you know how to get rid of them, until then…" Emma trailed off as she looked at her wife, and for a split second her gaze dropped to Regina's abdomen, and then quick as a flash she'd slammed the door shut and set up a protection spell around the perimeter. Just in case they didn't follow her after all.

"Hey!" Emma yelled, waving her arms in the air as she took off running towards the chaos approaching. "I'm right here!"

In hindsight, perhaps she could have taken a moment to think, but when the surrounding forest suddenly went still and quiet, she could at least appreciate that she'd gotten their attention. Emma took off through the trees and heavy rain, and the resounding snapping of branches picked up as they chased her. Too big to fly through them, they took to the air once again to try and find her.

Regina weakly pounded her fist against the sealed door, distressed by her inability to get a word in edgewise before Emma hurried off. She objected to Emma's plan on the grounds that it involved Emma going solo when they were always so much stronger together – but she didn't miss the meaningful way Emma glanced at her stomach, and that caused her to falter long enough for her reckless wife to rush into the middle of danger.

In spite of Emma's clear directives, Regina lifted her hand to counteract the spell, but the barrier gave a gentle push back that hit her like a soft wave of air. All she could do was stand at the window and watch as the gargoyles descended on Emma with grasping claws. She grabbed for the phone and called Rumple for answers; then she dialed Snow and Charming, who assured her that none of the beasts had made their way into town yet.

"Someone must have summoned them," Rumple concluded, "And clearly Miss Swan is the target. Must you always phone me so that I can tell you the obvious? Gargoyles are made of stone, so they can't be beaten by ordinary magical means. Yes, yes, you'll find your fireballs to be quite useless against them. I've never faced one before, but I have heard stories about how they kill their prey. They behead their enemies, and create a new member of their kind with it. That's why the gargoyle faces are so gruesome and strange. It's their mating ritual, you might say - "

Regina clutched the phone tightly in her hand, until her knuckles went white and she blew through Emma's magical entrapment with a blast of magic that taxed her. "Emma!" she screamed into the empty clearing.

"Shit!" Emma hissed under her breath, feet sliding through the muck that clung to her boots as she grasped the nearest tree to bounce herself off of before claws took her face off. Fuck, where was she going? In the darkness of the storm, the forest became thick with shadows, and she realized with a jolt that she was playing the most dangerous game of hide and seek in her entire life. With a sharp turn, Emma pushed her hands in front of her and sent a blast of shimmering white magic into the air. It struck the nearest three and sent them spinning backwards through the air to collide into the two behind them, but with a sickening lurch of her stomach she noticed that was all it did. "Why aren't you dying!" Emma screamed into the howling wind. The resulting roar she got back chilled her to the bone, and had she not turned that very second to continue running, she'd have been knocked off her feet by the branch hurled at her.

Instead, she threw herself to the left and narrowly avoided falling on her ass as she jumped a few rocks and squelched back to the ground. Emma's soaked hair clung to her face, cold rain stinging her eyes as the wind splattered it against her, but even with her blurred vision she refused to slow down. The only thing that made her falter was the cry from Regina. That froze her in her tracks, and she turned to gasp breathlessly, "Regina?" A number of horrible things flashed through Emma's mind and suddenly the idea of running towards the Gargolyes didn't seem nearly as frightening as one of them hurting her wife. The sheriff flung herself through the trees as fast as her legs would take her as she screamed back, "Regina!"

Branches slapped against her as if silently trying to urge her to turn back and maybe if she had she wouldn't have found herself face to face with one of the grotesque stone creatures. It loomed above her with a look of scorn on its face, its black eyes glinting unblinkingly down at her with what she imagined was perverse glee. Emma raised her hands but before she could blast it with magic, the thing had uprooted the nearest tree with one clawed paw. Emma instinctively hit the ground before her spine was snapped like a twig beneath it. Her face thumped into the mud as she rolled away but she wasn't fast enough and her right leg got trapped beneath the trunk. The rough bark shredded her jeans as she tried frantically to pull herself free. "No, no!" She yelled, more furious than afraid as she watched them circle the air above, only to swoop down, arms outstretched to snare her.

"Get off me!" Emma shrieked, horrified at being snatched up. She was carried into the air, literally kicking and screaming. What ensued left her feeling like a rag doll, as they took turns throwing her back and forth to one another in the sky. Emma's eyes could barely focus as sky and trees blurred yet she swung her hands wildly, hoping that her magic would hit one of them. The sky was ablaze with her struggles to get free. Even if she did, she'd surely die from the fall, if she didn't from their rough handling. Images of Regina flashed within her mind, and she shut her eyes and did the only thing she could think of.

A brilliant white light filled the sky like a bolt of lightening, and suddenly Emma wasn't there anymore. The plan had been to poof herself back to the cabin, but given that she was hurtling through the air, she should have known better. Emma made it to the cabin alright. With a sickening thud, she landed on the roof with a resounding bang before rolling off it to land heavily on the thick muck with a deep, pained, groan. "Argh, fuck." She grunted. Every inch of her ached as she pushed herself up and got onto unsteady legs. "Regina." She breathed, her words strained as she tried to straighten, "Are you okay?"

The sheer fright of almost losing Emma left Regina deadly silent, and then suddenly she gasped for air as if an invisible hand had been pressing down on her windpipe. "Don't you ever do that again!" she shouted menacingly, her eyebrows knitting together in disapproval. She would have been intimidating, but her anger lasted no longer than a moment. Tears splashed down her cheek faster than raindrops and she held onto Emma, hiding her face in the hollow of her wife's neck. Her emotions were sending erratic pulses of magic through her veins, and short-circuiting like broken strands of lights inside of her. "You've been doing this since the day I met you – boldly rushing headlong into danger, and never once backing down. But I need you to come inside now and have some patience. Don't try to argue with me. You're hurt, and this storm isn't letting up. We'll deal with the gargoyles together, and as soon as they're gone, we have to work on defeating our other demons, Emma." She settled a shaking hand against Emma's fast beating heart. "It's important. Not only for us, but I also think I –"

A piercing screech from the tree line cut Regina off, but Emma's glowing magic surrounded her, moving them mere feet but into the safety of the cabin. The darkness had prevented her from taking notice of the extent of Emma's injuries, but as soon as her eyes swept down to Emma's bleeding leg in the dim light, her mouth fell open in shock. "How are you walking on that?" She ushered Emma to the sofa, and then peeked out the window to monitor the advancement of the gargoyles; she was disturbed to see them sitting around the small cottage, their flinty eyes gleaming.

"Magic." Emma muttered distractedly as she wiped mud off her face. She looked like she'd bathed in the muck, it clung and dripped thickly to the floor. Honestly, magic had nothing to do with it, but how could she explain that the idea of losing Regina numbed the pain when she could barely understand it herself? On the way to the couch, Emma snagged a bottle of scotch from the mantle and twisted the cap off.

"It seems like they're holding off the attack," Regina muttered distractedly, and then rushed back to Emma.

"Yeah, and the question is why. What the hell do they want?" Emma tipped her head back to take a large gulp of the amber liquid, and then nearly choked when she felt Regina's hands on her belt. That was the funny thing with attraction, even in the worst of times, a simple touch, a single look, could arouse the senses fleetingly, regardless of how inappropriate it may be at the time.

"Your pants need to come off." From the knee down to the shin, Emma's jeans were wet with blood. Regina wasted no time in undoing Emma's belt and gingerly easing down the fabric, until she knelt in front of Emma. Her worry registered on her face, but she glanced away to spare Emma, and went to find the first aid kit. "I should be able to relieve you of some of the pain, but the wound will also need to heal the old fashioned way." She raised both of her hands over Emma's mangled leg until a soothing heat emanated from her palms and into Emma. When she finished, she applied antiseptic to the injury and wrapped it with thick cotton bandaging.

Emma's nostrils flared as she glanced down at Regina on her knees, her pupils dilated, and she capped the bottle of scotch and turned her attention to the windows to shake it off. Perhaps it was best that she was distracted; it stopped her from realizing how badly she was actually injured.

The sheriff grit her teeth together as Regina tended her wound, the odd hiss of pain given as she busied herself by peeling out of her filthy, torn, red leather jacket. "Damn it." She growled. "I'm going to turn them to dust." The gentle touch to her thigh brought Emma's attention back to Regina, and she held the woman's gaze, felt the weight of it until her heart felt like it was being squeezed. "Thank you." Emma wet her lips and kicked off her ruined jeans and dirty boots with complete disregard for Gold's property. Pale fingers already plucking at the buttons of her equally ruined shirt, which she quickly used to wipe her face and clean off as much as possible before she tossed it aside. Screw it - he could clean up the mess for once.

"I'm glad you're alright." Emma confessed, albeit with her back to Regina as she limped around in nothing but her underwear and tank top to raid Gold's cabinets. "When I heard you shout for me…" Emma trailed off quietly, but the tension across her shoulders and back said everything. For a moment she fell silent, struggled to take a breath, but she cleared her throat and cast her gaze towards Regina. "You think this place can withstand whatever they bring?" Emma asked, unwilling to let her guard down as she pulled on a pair of dark pants and a blue shirt. It should have felt weirder to be wearing Gold's clothes, but the guy at least had taste, and she didn't look that bad in them.

Regina re-directed her eyes to give Emma some privacy, and took a seat in the low armchair by the window. "I think we can withstand their onslaught. This cabin, however, may not be left standing. But I don't much care what happens to Gold's property." It seemed Emma had a similar disregard for Gold's things, and she thought of her mentor with contempt as she observed the strange, stone monsters. "I gave him a call, by the way. He told me that gargoyles behead their victims and he's going to attempt brewing a potion that will subdue them. From my own studies, I recall that gargoyles can only come to life at Dawn, or the time of Awakening – they're one of many nightmare creatures that can spend centuries in deep sleep. The Dream sustains them, while also trapping them—the same as it does with a person affected by a sleeping curse."  
Regina's teeth began to chatter, in spite of the stubborn way she ground them together, and she begrudgingly changed out of her damp clothes. She sneered at Gold's tailored dress shirts, and instead slipped into a pale blue robe that belonged to Belle. "Your parents are consulting with the Blue Fairy and the rest of their War Council is keeping guard over the town, but when we spoke, there had been no sightings. Henry is safe at the diner with Granny, Ruby, and his new girlfriend…" Sulkily, she slipped her cold hands into the pockets of the robe and returned to her place at the window. The gargoyles were motionless, and if not for the constant blinking of their eyes, she might have been convinced they were sleeping again. "I think our best course of action is to stay put and see what happens. They seem…almost satisfied."

"Or they're plotting the best way to chop off our heads. That's…. pretty horrifying…" Emma's lips pressed into a tense line as she frowned. "I mean, kinda fascinating, but yeah, definitely horrifying. How the hell do you remember all this stuff?" It was said with honest curiosity, the things Regina knew could fill books, and it was all kept in her mind. Half the time Emma couldn't remember where she'd put things, let alone such vast information. Then again, she hadn't spent her entire adult life learning about magic. A moment of silence passed only for Emma to blurt, "So, are sleeping curses made from them, or are they under one themselves?" Well it wasn't like they'd be going anywhere soon, and she'd rather know as much about the winged beasts trying to kill her to work out some sort of plan.

Emma gathered up Regina's wet clothes and brought them towards the unlit fire. She raised her hand, palm up, but all she managed to produce was a pathetic wisp of flame like a birthday candle before it flickered out. With a sigh, she went into the kitchen and snagged a box of matches from one of the drawers and tore a page off the calendar stuck on the wall. She scrunched it into a ball and twisted the end into a point, which she lit and stuck in between the wood already there. "But I don't get it." The words were a pained sigh as Emma stood back up and draped Regina's sodden clothes over it to dry them. "If they woke up it means someone did it, right? So why are they after me? This isn't an accident like spilling a vial in Gold's shop or blowing onto the wrong book, this was done with intent. So who would do that in town, why target me? What the hell did I do?"

Regina fiddled with the loose belt on Belle's robe and tied it tighter, simply to occupy her nervous hands. "I'm not an expert on gargoyles, but after Henry fell under my sleeping curse, I made an effort to learn more about the Dream itself. Sleeping curses put their victims into a burning prison within the Dream lives there, except the entrapped. The Dream is the gargoyles' natural habitat, but they live within the ever-changing landscape of the Dream, where the possibilities are endless. It's the one place where even non-magical beings can use magic. Many have tried to harness the magic of the Dream, but it won't bend to just anyone's will. I'm not sure who or why someone is after you this time, but our list of suspects should be a short one. The person responsible must have magic."

Distracted, and with a furrow of worry in her brow, Regina paced the floor.

With a critical look over her shoulder at Emma, Regina pointed at the couch in front of her. "Sit down. If you don't, the bleeding and the pain will only get worse. I'll get you whatever you need."

The only problem was that she had different ideas about what Emma needed – Regina took the scotch away and replaced it with a cup of hot tea, and although Emma requested the chips in Gold's pantry, she instead brought her wife a sliced apple.

Though it was in her to be difficult, Emma relinquished when Regina insisted she sat down, but she scowled when she was given sliced apple and tea like a child. "Seriously? I get that I shouldn't be drinking but I've just survived being tossed around like confetti, and we're trapped inside a cabin in the woods, which is basically the clichéd plot of most slasher movies so the way I see it, chips are hardly the worst thing for me right now." Emma set the fruit aside, and hobbled back into the kitchen with the cup of tea. Honestly, after the whole thing with Jefferson, she could barely drink the stuff. Emma rummaged through the cupboards and presses, and grinned as she searched the fridge. "I guess Gold was planning on bringing Belle here for a few days." Emma called out, then held up a pack of steaks and a tub of strawberries. "Such a shame that we're stuck here until he makes… Whatever." Emma looked positively wicked as she vanished into the kitchen again. "There's a can of whipped cream and I found cinnamon, I bet he has that expensive cocoa…" The sound of pots and pans clanging said clearly that given the circumstances, Emma was enjoying the moment for all it was worth.

Regina brooded in front of the fireplace until she heard Emma foraging and went into the kitchen.

Her expressive eyes showed all of her hesitation as she spotted the steaks in Emma's hands and the strawberries that were a dessert best served in bed. "I'm glad you have your priorities in order," she huffed, but obligingly slipped into an apron and took the wax paper wrapped meat from Emma. "Must you always do the exact opposite of what I tell you to do? You shouldn't be walking around on that leg. I want it elevated."

Emma rolled her eyes as Regina took over, but she didn't go far, and limped her way towards the counter. With a slight hop up, she settled herself on the counter and gave Regina a look that said 'there, I'm sitting,' and she fired back rather smugly, "Hey there's nothing wrong with my priorities. You said to have patience and wait, and I don't know about you but I could eat, which by the way will give us the energy we need to do whatever the hell we need to do when Gold gets back to us and after all the shit he's put us through over the years the least he can do is give us a damn meal."

Emma watched Regina move around in a robe and apron and let her mind drift to when that sight had been an acceptable time to run her hands over the woman as she cooked. Had their marriage been as strong as it once was, Emma would have delighted in the chance to feel the warmth of her wife beneath the only things she wore. A large part of her still wanted too, and she hated how easy it was to forget that she'd been betrayed. How brief moments could make her remember such wonderful times and the memories that went with them, just to snap back to reality. They had so much crap to work through, but resenting Regina would only serve to hurt them both, and she was so fucking tired of hurting, her physical injuries included.

"Besides, if you'd brought me the chips instead of the apple, I wouldn't have been looking around in the first place, so really, this is as much your doing as it is mine." The tone was deliberately sly. Emma's uninjured leg moved just enough for her to lightly tap the heel of her boot against the cabinet as she quirked a golden eyebrow at Regina. They could be stuck here for hours. Perhaps all night, and it was barely nearing noon. It would be incredibly unwise to rile up Regina, and yet the idea of winding her up just a little was enough to make the corners of Emma's lips to twitch. "If ever there was an opportunity to snoop around, this would be it." Emma paused long enough to let Regina run the idea around in her head, and like a mischievous teen she added, "I wonder what they keep in the bedside drawers."

"Knowing Belle, nothing more exciting than an encyclopedia," Regina husked. "Honestly, I'm not the slightest bit interested in what goes on between Rumpel and Belle. There are very few things I find more appalling than the thought of their private life." She scrunched her nose crankily and began seasoning the steak with a touch of salt. It might have tasted better if she had been able to grill the meat, but with the downpour and the threat of gargoyles, she could only use the stovetop. As she neared Emma, she realized the heat of the stove was mild compared to the heat she felt radiating from her wife. Emma's eyes burned through her and roamed down to her ass, and she had the sudden compulsion to guide Emma's hands to where they clearly wanted to be. Regina grated her teeth together and concentrated on cooking the food instead. "Go ahead and satisfy your curiosity," she muttered, if only to ease the fast growing sexual tension between them. It would be too irresponsible to initiate any form of intimacy after what happened the previous evening, but the longer they stood close together, the more her willpower wavered. "In fact, why don't you go lie down and take a nap?"

The remark about taking a nap evoked a frown from Emma, and she continued to watch Regina with her brow furrowed, evidently bemused. "Why would I do that when the steak is three minutes from being ready?" She'd chalk it up to adrenaline later, when she looked back at it, but right now in the moment, all Emma could see was Regina swallow thickly, her cheeks rosy, before she turned her attention elsewhere, and that was when she realized Regina might be struggling as much as she was. It was the strangest thing, to want to do things that came naturally, that would no doubt ease the hurt in some small way and bring them closer, and yet actively deny one another the comfort of it because it seemed inappropriate after what had happened between them. So how did you go about mending bridges? Regina acknowledged her wrongdoings and Emma acknowledged that even with her heart broken she could almost, almost, see why her wife had done it. Yet it was difficult to let go of the anger. To ignore the fire that flared up inside her whenever she thought of how happy they'd been and how quickly Regina had made choices without her, for her, and about her.

"If it's too hot in the kitchen, Regina, why don't you go check on your clothes by the fire and I'll finish up in here." It wasn't a snarky remark so much as a curiously soft suggestion. Between the two of them, Emma had always been the one far more prone to becoming flustered. All it took was a look from Regina, a deliberate sway of the woman's hips, a blouse button straining just so, just enough to grab her attention and relocate it to her wife's breasts or the shapely curve of her ass when she bent over with the intent to tease. To see Regina displaying the same reactions she knew so well from experience flipped a switch inside her, and Emma decided quite suddenly that she didn't want to put distance between them. No. She wanted to see what would happen if she stayed.

Without care to the consequences, Emma slid off the counter where she'd been happily watching Regina actively try to ignore her, and planted herself in the seat next to the table. Which she then slung her leg upon because after all, hadn't Regina said she wanted it elevated? Emma reclined in the chair at an angle so that her right arm could rest across the back of it. The posture was confident, the slight quirk of her lips was cocky, but the look in her eye was aroused interest. The tables it seemed, had been turned slightly, and it felt good to feel desired no matter how much Regina tried to conceal it.

Regina never backed down when challenged, but Emma's self-assured behavior got under her skin. She made a quick grab for utensils and plates, and in a calculated move, leaned over Emma to put out two place settings. Her silk robe lifted when she stretched across her wife, giving Emma a glimpse of her bare bottom. "Now why would I need you to do that when the steaks are done?" she belatedly replied. "I'm rather in my element here." The kitchen had always been her domain in their household, and she preferred to use the cooking as a distraction from her deliberately unbearable wife. Confrontation, too, was her domain – it was what Regina understood and what came naturally to her, but she knew she would have to make concessions if they were ever to heal from the damage she'd caused. She stuck a serving fork into one of the filets of meat and placed the steak onto a plate in front of Emma. "It would be easy to forget ourselves now, wouldn't it? I know what you're thinking about, but I am not going to sleep with you just because you nearly died this morning. We're going to be level-headed and responsible about our relationship for once."

There was no response to what Regina said as she served up lunch and took a seat. Emma merely watched her with a quirked eyebrow, the corners of her mouth tugging downwards as she nodded slightly. Regina said it with a confidence she obviously didn't feel, and the way Emma kept her curious gaze on her let Regina know she could see right through her. Carefully, the Sheriff lowered her leg from the table and reached for the knife at the side of her plate. She sliced through the meat like it was butter, the insides a rich red that changed to a deep pink before dark brown of where it had been seared to perfection. The colors reminded her of leaves changing in the fall, and she savored the first bite as if it could be her last. "Just because I think something doesn't mean I'm going to act on it." Emma's green eyes locked with Regina's across the table, she tilted her head slightly and shrugged. "I'm attracted to you Regina, I always have been." The words were soft but given as fact, as if the idea of dancing around and playing games about it would be a waste of time. "I always will be, and as much as I enjoy the memories of how you felt clenched around my fingers and the way you writhed wetly under my tongue when we were happy, doesn't mean I'm ready or willing to experience it any time soon."

Regina sat across from Emma, her look undeniably irritable as she laid a napkin in her lap and put a dash of salt on her meat. "Good. After lunch you can call your mother for an update." Nothing could ruin her libido like Mary Margaret, and if necessary, she'd resort to stronger measures to ensure she and Emma didn't act foolishly. "The gargoyles could knock down the door at any moment, and we don't want to be caught defenseless."

Regina tried not to consider how she was already defenseless. One, disarming glance from Emma took away her whole sense of security and the idea that she had complete control over the situation. "I want forgiveness," she whispered. "True forgiveness. And I know I have to earn it, but until I do, I don't want to make other mistakes." She shoved back her plate, leaving it to Emma as she stood up and retreated into the living room.

The mention of Gargolyes didn't much faze Emma. With everything going on between the two of them what was a little threat to her life? This was Storybrooke. She'd always be 'The Savior' regardless of what her home life was like, and honestly, if she wasn't at the risk of being snuffed out every few months then it would probably be the sign of an apocalypse. "About that," She said around another mouthful of steak, "Since they're after me, there's no reason for you to stay here and risk them bursting through the door. You can poof yourself back to town and find out if Gold is any closer to concocting the potion to get rid of them." Emma wasn't entirely sure if it was what she had said that caused Regina to forego lunch and retreat to the living room, or if it had been her own whispered confession about seeking forgiveness. Either way, she didn't try to stop the woman for going, nor did she take the untouched food on her plate. Instead, she sat there and quietly finished her meal.

The tentative peace they'd conjured between them could snap at any moment, which was why Emma situated herself in the kitchen for over an hour. She put plastic wrap over Regina's meal, and washed her own plate and utensils before going ahead with the hot cocoa. Emma sipped it from her perch on the counter, her stolid expression reflected the back at her in the window, but she was looking beyond it, monitoring the winged beasts that sat around the cabin. They sensed her eyes on them, because as one they all turned to blink at the kitchen window. "What are you waiting for?" She whispered under her breath, disrupting the steam as it rose up and swirled from her mug. It was the silence that left her feeling uneasy.

With her mug cradled in her palms, she made her way slowly into the living room, and took in a relieved breath as she caught sight of Regina sleeping. Sure, she'd said the woman could go; the fact that she was here put her in unnecessary danger, but the idea of Regina actually being gone had sucked the air from her lungs. One step forward was one creak of floorboards too many, and she froze as Regina's eyes opened.

It physically pained Emma to walk by the couch where Regina sat comfortably, and settled in the seat across from her, elbows resting on her thighs as she clutched the mug tightly in her hands. Whatever was to come, she knew she had to be clear headed. Calm. Focused on what was said over the ever-present desire to seek comfort and closeness from Regina.

"We need to talk," Regina quietly announced. "Or, rather, I need to talk. I don't know where to begin, so by all means, stop me if you have questions or feel I've left something out." She flexed her fingers nervously, cleared her throat and let her runny eyes skip from place to place. "I want to tell you about the day I found out I was pregnant." She shifted underneath the quilt that was wrapped over her, and stared down at the stitched patches, wondering if their marriage could be sewn and put back together from the pieces. "I'd been having nightmares about you for weeks. So many of them involved you leaving. In one of the dreams, you were… the King. You locked me away in a dark tower by the sea and rode off on your horse. I flung myself into the waves. That morning, I woke up in a cold sweat from a night terror, I made breakfast for Henry, and then I realized I felt ill. I called you, but you were unreachable that morning, thanks to someone's domestic dispute. Gold is the last person I wanted to turn to, but who else could speak to about a possible pregnancy resulting from magic?"

Emma knew it wasn't particularly fair, the way she met Regina's eyes with a look that all but pleaded for Regina to make it all better, yet she couldn't control it. Her actions, her words, no matter how angry or defensive she was, her eyes would always betray how she felt. How could she not have known Regina had been suffering from nightmares? She slept by Regina's side, often with her wife in her arms. How could she not feel the thrash of it? See the sleeplessness in the morning? It struck her like lightning that the reason she'd never known was because Regina had gone out of her way to keep it from her, and the realization stung.

Emma's eyes closed, her lips parted as she breathed, and she fought to keep the image of her herself as a tyrant out of her mind. It didn't work. She envisioned herself as cruel and ruthless, then her mind filled with the image of Regina throwing herself to a watery grave just to escape her. It chilled her so thoroughly that she gulped at the cocoa, cream stuck to her top lip and nose and she shook her head as if trying to dislodge the thoughts. "Okay." Emma breathed, consciously making an effort to absorb the information as best she could without allowing it to upset her or dictate how she reacted. She had to approach it rationally, and after longing for the truth and communication, it was on her to handle it now. This was what she wanted, and flying off the handle wouldn't help either of them. "Okay." Emma repeated a little firmer, a nod of her head given as she met Regina's gaze. "These nightmares, the pregnancy, your fears about The Black Fairy - I get that they were all intertwined for you. That's why you pushed me away, right? Because you were being tormented by horrible dreams, so you…" Emma wet her lips, shifted slightly and released a shaky breath. "So you acted first, just in case it happened. Better to push me away first than to have me leave like in your nightmares. And with the…" Emma couldn't bring herself to say what they both knew she was about to; her watery gaze shifted towards the fire as she sniffed and tried to comprehend her wife's reckless actions.

"Our child," Regina emphasized, not sparing herself or Emma from the harsh reality of what she'd so hastily done. "Yes, but that's over simplifying it. I was afraid you would leave, but that wasn't the only reason I acted impulsively. Magic comes with a price, and what will we have to pay for bringing a child into this world through our magic? Gold had answers to that question, and I listened to him. The cost seemed too high. I wasn't going to risk you or Henry for anyone else, and at that moment in time, I thought I'd have to choose."

Emma tried to face the mention of their child like a boxer taking a punch to the face. She squared her jaw, yet still flinched. Teeth snapped together because the residual anger felt better than the stab of pain it evoked. Growing up as an orphan, Emma had spent countless years of her life imagining what her life could have been like with the right family, with her own family, and now she felt the pull of it again. What would their lives be like right now if Regina hadn't made all the decisions without her? Would they be in the mansion safe from the storm, having lunch and tickling a tiny tummy? Would she be the one feeding the kid, or would she be watching Regina or Henry so it, with a look of sheer pride and love? Hard choices had been made, and though Emma didn't want to pay attention to the voice in the back of her mind; it still whispered about Regina being a Queen, alone to rule a kingdom. A Queen who went to dark measures to try and right a wrong that had happened, who was used to making rash deals and bargains all alone for the majority of her life. Emma wasn't trying to justify her wife's actions, but she was starting to see the bigger picture and why they had occurred. Fear did the strangest things to people.

"Magic might come with a price but so do our actions, so do our lives, Regina. It's called consequences and we all face them every day just for existing." There was no venom in her words, just a soft kind of pleading that was emphasized by the way she leaned forward into Regina's touch. Emma's eyes closed briefly as her wife brushed back her hair, and she released a slow breath as she looked at Regina. "The thing is, we're a team. We're supposed to face them together. It's how we handle anything life throws at us. It's how we get through this." The sheriff motioned with her free hand towards the window, and the creatures lurking outside the cabin, however she squeezed Regina's hand as if to say that she meant beyond the immediate danger they found themselves in.

Remaining an arm's length away from Emma was difficult, when all Regina wanted to do was soothe Emma and clean the younger woman's splotchy face. She tightened her grip on Emma's hand and reached out to push back a lock of hair that stuck to Emma's cheek. "I'm worried that what Gold warned me about can still affect us."

"Magic might come with a price but so do our actions, so do our lives, Regina. It's called consequences and we all face them every day just for existing." There was no venom in her words, just a soft kind of pleading that was emphasized by the way she leaned forward into Regina's touch. Emma's eyes closed briefly as her wife brushed back her hair, and she released a slow breath as she looked at Regina. "The thing is, we're a team. We're supposed to face them together. It's how we handle anything life throws at us. It's how we get through this." The sheriff motioned with her free hand towards the window, and the creatures lurking outside the cabin, however she squeezed Regina's hand as if to say that she meant beyond the immediate danger they found themselves in.

"The fairy books speak of a dark age of magic." Regina stated somberly. "Until recently, I was convinced those stories were referencing my own curse, but now I'm not so sure. There is one story in particular that talks about the joining of two magical forces preceding the shift in the balance. What if the stories were talking about us, and the Dark Age is yet to come? The Black Fairy once coveted the power of the Dream. What if she released the gargoyles? I don't think we should tell anyone about my theories – we'd be in danger if she knew we were onto her. It's better to appear ignorant and investigate this matter quietly, but if you want to take a different approach, I'll follow your lead." She put her hand over Emma's callused one, locking their fingers weakly together.

"So you think this is some sort of prophecy?" Emma asked, her words hushed as she frowned at the creatures outside. "Look, if living here has taught me anything, it's that all of this magical prophecy crap is always written by someone with an agenda to either control the outcome of something or to fear people into making it happen. I'd say the dark age was you all living in the Enchanted Forest with ogre wars and no plumbing or electricity. Who's to say this Black Fairy didn't write all this in the first place to manipulate people and get what she wants? Say she did release the gargoyles, that means she's here, and if she's here, that means we can catch her and we can stop her."

The tentativeness of Regina resonated within Emma, and she knew that if any moves were to be made to get closer it would need start with her. Emma set her mug of cocoa down by the fire and moved from the chair to sit next to Regina on the couch, their legs brushing together as she sat down. "I think you're right." Emma announced quietly, her gaze shifting to the gargoyles outside. "It's better to keep this speculation between us than to have anyone else know what we think. If The Black Fairy really is here, and these things are under her command, our best defense is playing ignorance." Emma wet her lips and reached out to squeeze Regina's thigh. As much as she hurt inside, seeing Regina upset would always tug at her heart, and perhaps if they were to truly mend things between them, compassion was a good place to start.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Dark themes involving Regina's past marriage to Leopold.

"We have to stay put," Regina announced, as she clicked the button on her phone to silence Rumple, whose unhelpful suggestions left her feeling aggravated. She and Emma had taken a break that afternoon to focus on their conference call with the Charmings and Rumple.

As usual, the group planning session provided them with nothing more than a basic course of action that she could have figured out all on her own. It used to be a source of relief to have others to depend on, but no one had any constructive ideas about how to banish or defeat the gargoyles. Until Rumple prepared the potion, she and Emma would have to share the cramped, one bedroom cabin and that gave them no excuse to postpone the discussion they'd begun.

Emma pushed her pale fingers against her temples, but will alone was not sufficient in ceasing the throb that had begun to pound mercilessly. The fact that they'd spent all day, quite literally, on and off their phones with everyone to come up with not even the inclination of a plan beyond waiting was frustrating. There were only so many hours Emma could sit around doing nothing before she felt the constraint of her surroundings. Just like she'd felt when she first got into town, and couldn't seem to leave. It felt suffocating. Even the walls were starting to feel like they were pushing in on her, confining her. It brought back memories of prison, of restless nights that made her skin itch until the thought of clawing it off was better than just taking it. What she wouldn't give to open a window and feel the breeze on her face. The air in the cabin was dry and still, and Regina's nervous energy only made it worse.

Regina never envisioned opening up to Emma under such circumstances, but she put on a stiff upper lip in spite of how her eyes wet eyes gave away her distress with a single, sweeping glance at her wife. "Let's use this time wisely."

As her internal struggle began to reach its peak and threatened to spill out in subtle signs of a cold sweat and the ever-increasing short breaths she took, Emma struggled to concentrate.

They tried sitting at opposite ends of the couch, within reach but not quite in the same space, like magnets repelling each other. Regina held in her breath and let it out all at once, then took Emma by the arm and prodded her wife out of the tense position. "This isn't working," she huffed. "Come with me."

The colorful dusk of evening calmed Regina, but she shut the blinds against the oncoming twilight and led Emma to the bedroom in the back of the cabin.

A protest almost slipped past Emma's lips in hiss, and agitation burned brightly within her eyes when Regina gave her a gentle shove onto the bed. But Emma's anger was ephemeral and seeped away as her eyes adjusted to the shadows. There was a comfort to the darkness that the harsh light couldn't grant her and it was only when she succumbed to it that she could almost breathe again.

"No light," Regina whispered. "Not for this."

The heaviness of the conversation to come weighed down on her, and Emma found herself flat on her back without so much as the intention to even lie down. Regina's words pressed down on her even before they were uttered; this instinctual feeling of knowing what this would be about. Emma had never been so grateful for the safety of darkness in all her life, and she'd had plenty of occasions when she'd hidden, growing up. The smallest part of her wanted to speak up, to utter "no" before it was too late, but she knew it was a weakness. A momentary flare of tightening panic entered her chest because she knew, without a doubt, that the horrors her mind had conjured were about to be confirmed. There would be no more hiding from the truths of Regina's past. From the truths of her own bloodline.

Regina was like one of those stacking dolls, one inside the next, with so many different faces and emotions painted on; she let herself experience each hurt, until the smallest part of her was exposed. The atmosphere in the bedroom was restrictive, and too intimate for their situation, yet precisely what was needed. "I… think we should discuss something I've refused to talk to you about in the past," she muttered, the words tasting dry in her mouth. "My first marriage. In a lot of ways, it set precedents for this one that I never expected or considered until now."

Regina pressed a pillow against her chest and took the spot on the opposite side of the bed. "I was eighteen years old when I went to live in your grandfather's castle," she muttered. "I never wanted to marry him, but I had some respect for the man. He did everything for Snow and actually wanted what was best for her… whereas my father stood aside while my mother got what she wanted."

Emma's saliva turned sour on her tongue and she had no choice but to choke it down. There was so much she despised about The Enchanted forest that she'd kept to herself. The idea that someone so young could be given to someone else against her will was disgusting. Regina had been no older than she'd been when she'd had Henry, and even in this world Emma had known she wasn't ready to raise or look after a child, let alone learn to raise someone else's while a kingdom looked on, forever sizing her up for failure, comparing her to someone she couldn't possibly replace. Though in the past Regina never said it outright, Emma could read between the lines. Someone so old, picking someone so young under the guise of a motherly figure for the daughter nearly her own age was sickening. Emma's stomach twisted violently. Regina was young enough to be his daughter. The thought of Regina, so vulnerable and young having to lie there under someone old enough to be her grandfather disturbed Emma all the more because the bastard was her grandfather. In a land of kings where men answered to nobody but themselves and their greed knew no bounds, the desperation Regina must have felt to escape it…

"Your grandfather didn't lay a hand on me during our first year of marriage," Regina stated quietly, as she stared off at a shapeless shadow on the wall. "He came to me on the night of the wedding, but I was so afraid and angry that I cried. He avoided me after that and went away to visit other kingdoms with Snow. It wasn't until a year later, when a rumor spread about my virtue, that his behavior changed." She stuck out her chin as a teardrop fell from her cheek, and she lifted her hand quickly to catch it.

"He told me at nineteen years of age, I was a woman with a woman's needs. He would see to it that those needs were met. So much of that relationship was about control. He sent me to my room like a child when I misbehaved. That's how he wanted everyone in the kingdom to view me—as a little girl he could easily reprimand. He ensured that his people would hate me, and yet I wanted his approval. I wanted everyone to like me, but it became obvious to me that I was nothing in his eyes. He… never looked at me and made me feel human."

Her throat constricted, but she forced herself to swallow and put on a brave face.

"I was somehow less to him, and that is what I did to you." Her voice sounded hollow, but then it was full and deeply grief stricken. "I treated you as less than human – something to be used, silenced, reduced to a state of total ignorance… cut off from the truth. I did the same to Graham, when I forced him to stay with me. I made him an object, a possession. At that time, I acted for different, selfish reasons. With you, I did it to protect myself. And at the end of it all…. killing our child, though I carried it out in a blind panic, was the most callous and self-destructive thing I've ever done. I feared what would happen with our child, yes, but I also wanted complete control over that situation, too – if I was the one to take her life, and ruin our relationship, it was somehow better than waiting for outside forces to take away everything I loved yet again." Her voice was strained and high, and all of the stress lines in her face began to appear from resisting the urge to cry. "I feel… sorry for you, Emma – that you truly love me. I tried so hard to destroy that – to damage what we have beyond repair. Sometimes I feel like I am dangling over a cliff, and you're just… hanging onto me. It would be easier to just let go, but you won't."

"Please," Regina whispered, clutching the pillow tightly. "Don't ever let go. I need you."

Emma listened, barely breathing; though she couldn't justify all of Regina's actions, she couldn't deny what had it happened to her, either. The chances of anyone taking the same dark path were highly likely. In another world, with different rules, what wouldn't Emma do to escape her fate? It saddened her to realize that the selfishness of her grandfather had been passed so effortlessly to Snow, who had saw fit to send her newborn daughter through a tree into a land she knew nothing of with only blind faith that one day Emma would return to save them . No matter how Snow tried to paint it as saving her from the curse, the truth was she'd sent Emma off to save her own ass, but it was only now as she lay in the darkness with her pulse thumping through her veins that she had ever felt truly thankful for it. For Regina actually casting the Dark Curse, because without it, Emma would have been married off to someone too, and her life very well could have been Regina's. "Don't feel sorry for me." The words cracked and stuck in her throat, hardly above a broken whisper as they fought to be heard around the lump in Emma's throat. Her watery eyes slowly leaked to soak into the pillowcase as she stared unblinkingly at the shadows on the ceiling. "I never let her talk about him." Emma exhaled quietly - it wasn't breathy so much as a wheeze. An injured, ghostly sound as Emma's mind whirled. "All these years, I never wanted to hear anything she said, anything good, because all I could think of was Henry's book. Even before the curse broke, the story that involved him turned my stomach. Back then I just saw it as a male fantasy. The old dude gets the beautiful young girl, the misogynistic storytelling trope at its best." The sound of the pillow case rumpling was the only tell that Emma had shaken her head in disgust at herself for being so fucking naïve. The expression on her face was as dark as the forest outside. Had it not been for the brief flickering light of the moon between the trees, the room would have been pitch black. "Then magic was real and I was fighting dragons and I let myself get swept up in it because it was so much easier to bury all that disturbed me under the pretext of fairytale crap. Then things began to change. We began to change. We never spoke about your past with him. It became this thing we couldn't mention, even though we both knew we were thinking about it, neither of us could show we acknowledged it. Like the ghost in the room that followed us around."

Emma wet her lips in an effort to try and collect her thoughts. The slightest twitch of her arm granted the barest brushing of her knuckles against Regina's hand. "Loving you with everything I've got isn't a weakness or a burden, Regina." Emma whispered breathless before she sniffed, and for the first time since they'd lain down together, she turned her head to look at woman cloaked in shadows. She tried to find her wife's gaze in the darkness, then held it for a long moment before continuing. "Neither of us are perfect. We're flawed, damaged people with our own weird proclivities, but it's because of what we've gone through that we connect in ways nobody else would understand. I spent almost my entire life resenting my biological parents for giving me away, and even when I found them I still felt like that. Now I realize how lucky I am to have been sent to this world, and if it hadn't been for you, I never would have. Funny how that works, the savior being saved from the life she'd have been forced into by the very person her parents wanted her to save them from…" Emma paused and tried to shrug, but it didn't quite happen since she was on her back. "I'm not going to let go of you, Regina, but you gotta want to hold on just as much. I need you to hold on." She stressed, her fingers finally curling around Regina's to squeeze tightly.

Regina gulped hard on air, suppressing the sob in her chest as her tears ran freely like two dark streaks of dripping paint. She scooted over and wrapped herself into Emma, blankets and all. "Show me how," she whispered fiercely. "I'll do anything for you." Her face was against Emma's and her eyes flashed hotly with determination and then simmered down into soft pleading. She tasted salt on her lips as she kissed Emma and settled into her wife.

The moon winked through the drawn curtain and the gargoyles began a low grumbling, but Regina felt too tired to move and check on the beasts. Her eyelids were heavy and before she could explain her exhaustion, Regina went limp, though her body jerked twice in resistance to the sudden drowsiness.

She concentrated on the warmth of Emma's body next to hers, but the reassuring presence was pulled away from her in the hazy suspension of sleep…

Regina stood in her office and stared down at her desk, where official town documents were laid out alongside her divorce papers. Her inbox was replaced by a hat that belonged to Henry as an infant, with tiny teddy bear ears that had made her son look so precious. She grabbed for the hat, but it was warm liquid on her fingertips.

Blood-hers and her unborn daughter's-coated the lines across her palm, but the sound of a horse snorting and pawing at the ground distracted her from what she felt.

The room was not her office at all, though she still wore her smart business suit with a skirt and heels and she wasn't sure where she was or where she was going.

Saddling the horse took work, but she accomplished it by discarding her suit. She rode into the afternoon sun, and her skirt helpfully changed to an old pair of Emma's jeans that she'd slid into once or twice after they'd first slept together.

Her hair grew spontaneously. She didn't experience it happening, but the familiar weight of it was unmistakable and the way all of her glorious dark curls flew out behind her in the breeze made her grin and laugh in surprise.

The hilltop around her was dotted with vibrant wildflowers, and she recognized Emma standing below the tree where she met him—only no, Emma was not a he.

Emma was not Daniel, and Daniel wasn't Emma, but her heart certainly pounded for Emma in the same way that it did for her first love—all eagerness and excitement rushed through her as she slipped from the saddle and leapt into Emma's arms.

They were back in her office, but Emma still clutched a bouquet of the bright summer flowers and Regina still had to reach on tiptoes as they kissed. She shed her dress easily—when she had put that on? Wasn't she wearing pants?—and let Emma lift her onto the desk.

Emma's mouth was everywhere—against her ear and on her neck, intoxicating and quick, and Regina could feel the shape of Emma's smugness, the way Emma's grin spread out over her skin.

"I love you," she spat out impulsively, and Emma stumbled back, startled by Regina's hasty confession.

They stared at each other distrustingly—Regina with her brow broodingly furrowed, and Emma blank faced and unsure.

Then the rustle of trees around them made Regina forget her momentary discomfort.

The wallpaper came to life then and expanded outward, into the Enchanted Forest.

An overgrown thicket of roses and thorns gave way to the deserted courtyard of the summer palace.

At first glance, the castle was crumbling in places and the untended garden sprawled out all around. The ravages of time wore away the ring of stone that used to circle Regina's apple tree, but when she paused to remember the one spot that was her own, her abandoned home returned to all its former glory.

Without thinking, she strode forward to the gate and went by the guards, along the familiar corridors and into her bedroom.

The sound of an upset little girl drew her to the floor length looking glass, and for a moment, she saw a young Emma sitting inside, but out of reach and defenseless. Emma cradled an injured arm and curled in on herself, whimpering "someone help me."

The longer Regina stared at the mirror, the more the young face changed. It was suddenly still and calm and unmistakably hers - then turbulent again, like water broken on the surface by rocks.

She cried fitfully, whispering to the mirror, "Come back, mother. I'll be good this time. I promise. I'll do whatever you say."

She clutched her mother's spell book and traced her finger over the dark red heart on the ornate cover.

"I can't sleep. Please, mama. Please. I have no one... Don't leave me here—"

"Who are you talking to, wife? Your own reflection? Perhaps your conscience?"

Regina glanced over to see a thick-soled boot on the floor, and her eyes slowly lifted to look up at the King. He removed his rings from his hands and the heavy crown from his head. No doubt that he had been entertaining guests with ale and mutton in the banquet hall, but he never drank much. All of his decisions were made with a sober and sound mind.

"Some day perhaps you will understand that what I do is always for your good and mine. I cannot have anyone in our land doubting your purity, least of all our Snow. It wouldn't do for Snow to overhear the tales of your indiscretions. Snow admires you, and you must set an example for her. How else will she learn to be benevolent and selfless, as all great wives and queens should be? It is the role that women have fulfilled since the beginning of time-the role of mother. You are a beautiful young woman, and I know you once had loving heart. But I fear it grows wicked. It is necessary to correct that wickedness. Come now, wife. I ask you to show me your love and loyalty now. Lie down in bed a while. Let me love you as all men love their wives. Let me give you the gift of motherhood - the gift of my seed in your belly."

Regina pleaded silently with the mirror, and her big wet eyes conveyed all her desperation.

Cora's flickering impression appeared in the polished glass and with a lordly, triumphant grin, watched as the King led Regina to the bed and took off her daughter's nightgown.

"Bend and kneel upon the bed," the king instructed, with his hands falling easily to Regina's hips and bare backside.

Regina placed her palms flat on the mattress and looked away from the unbearable sight of her mother.

"You remind me of your mother sometimes. She, too, had a wild spirit, but a kindly heart. That is why I took you for my wife. I know that women of your kind have an eagerness about them when it comes to the intimate sport. You are eager, aren't you? Look how you raise your backside for me, so that I can provide what is lacking between your legs. My little wife - though I am an old man, I will make you fat and full with child yet. What woman does not want a child? You will be happy when you hold our son in your arms. Then you will have something to be proud of, won't you? Yes, I will give you a son, and then my people will have a reason to love you."

Regina could only grunt as Leopold took his position and began short thrusts. She moved with him, by momentum alone and not by choice-all of her life she was pushed along by someone else's momentum, either her mother's or husband's, and she was like nothing more that a scattered flower blown away by the storms of other people. Her body was so small and no part of her could counteract the force of it. She cried "no" to herself; she had swallowed down the pathetic sob of "no" more often in the last month than she took her meals, but "no" kept coming back up like the stomach sickness.

She had no desire to be anyone's role model, and it was bad enough that Snow clung to her day after day, incessantly demanding her attention. What would it be like with a screaming, wailing child, who would grow inside of her? Would her body ever be her own? First it belonged to her mother to dress and to punish, and now it belonged to her husband. Would her son be next in line? And would anyone in all the lands truly love or appreciate her just because she produced a son?

Regina wanted to be loved. It was all she had ever wanted for as long as she could remember.

But was what the king described actually love, and if it was, why did she want to refuse it?

She was beginning to want power more than she wanted love.

Love would keep her in this spot, underneath a man she loathed. Power would let her go free.

She sensed someone peering down at her—someone who was gentle.

Graham was not far away, holding open the white curtain that hung around Regina's canopy bed.

Leopold no longer stood behind her.

A pack of wolves were sprawled out on the floor, as if her bedroom was their den. Only one wolf remained awake, whimpering softly and licking her wounds. A sheep strode into the room and nudged the wolf, lying down beside it to offer the injured animal comfort.

Graham settled down beside Regina and ran his hand over her smooth back.

"There are only wolves and sheep in the world," Regina muttered. "And you're nothing but a sheep." She sounded critical of him, but she realized that was why she chose Graham-he lived among the wolves and protected them. She was a wolf in need of protection.

"Graham," she said. "I've done something awful. How do I make it right?"

"You need to start by leaving this room, Regina," Graham told her. "You were prisoner here for many years. We both were. I don't want to see you back again." His curls hung unevenly and in his solemn eyes.

Graham clasped her hand and helped her out of bed; they went to the door together and into the daylight. When Regina glanced back, she noticed that the door was red and that she stood on her front porch in Storybrooke.

"The unfortunate thing about being a wolf, metaphorically speaking, is that you feel you must turn others into wolves. Don't turn Emma into a wolf."

"Where is she?" Regina asked, remembering the girl in the mirror, who was cuddled up on a dingy carpet. "Where is Emma?"

"She's here," Graham gestured. "She's waiting for you." He led the way down the lane, where purple flowers raised their heads to observe them curiously. The path to the graveyard was littered with fallen pinecones, and glittery snow, although the leaves on the trees were thick and springtime green.

"Graham, thank you," Regina whispered, placing her hand over his and leaning in to kiss his scratchy cheek. "Please, please forgive me. For what I did to you. I'm so sorry-"

"Apologies mean nothing to the dead," laughed a familiar voice. She recognized the harsh trill, but couldn't match a face to go with it. Her instincts pushed her forward, but her mind lost the thought she had been piecing together.

Regina swung open the door to her mausoleum and went inside the cool, dark space. She found Emma sitting on the stone floor, with her red jacket and a duffel bag.

Not knowing what to do, Regina bent down and began to unpack Emma's bag. "What's in here?" she muttered. "What are you hiding from me?"

"I'm not hiding anything." Emma stated, her voice barely a whisper as she watched the contents of the bag being pulled free.

A deck of cards scattered across the cold stone floor as Regina dropped them, except they weren't cards at all, they were pictures. Each one part of something much bigger; a jigsaw of sorts, completely out of order.

Loose change scattered like thick raindrops splashing, the sound hauntingly clear even as some rolled off and into the darkness beyond, glinting in warning as if they were the eyes of something stalking them. One gold star of authority landed with a thump and Emma reached for it before Regina's fingers had the chance to snatch it up.

"Hey, that's mine." She said with conviction, and stood up to clip the badge onto her pants. Where it should have said Sheriff, the title Savior had been carved into the metal, and her gun was now a sword strapped to her hip.

Regina stuck out her bottom lip in confusion as she dug through Emma's possessions. "But where is it?" she asked in alarm, although she couldn't identify what "it" was or why she thought Emma would be concealing it from her. She located the object at the bottom of Emma's bag - balled up white yarn, with bright purple ribbon and a name embroidered in cursive lettering.

With her head bent, she held Emma's baby blanket to her chest and then sat in the spot where she found her wife. "I thought you were going to leave and take it away." Regina wasn't quite sure that "it" referred to the blanket, but she struggled to name that elusive, sought after thing she wanted. Her thoughts were muddled, lacking all clarity as she reached out to Emma and touched the woman's knee. A low rumbling was providing an obstruction to clear headedness, but the source of the noise seemed far off.

Emma groaned as her bleary eyes opened. One hand reached blindly for her cell phone on the nightstand before it vibrated it's way off the damn thing. Fumbling as she blinked up at the bright screen, Emma answered with a gruff, "Hello?"

"Finally!" Mary Margaret shrieked, "I've been calling you for the past five minutes, I thought-" A huff of breath was released down the line, "I'm just glad you're alright. Rumple said he should have the potion ready soon, we just wanted to let you know so you can get ready."

Emma winced at the shrillness of her mother's voice and awkwardly sat up. Her brow furrowed as she tried to grasp what was being said but her mind was still foggy from sleep. "Ready for what?"

"Well…" Mary Margaret sighed, her tone conveying her hesitance.

The sound of the phone being grabbed crackled down the line before Rumple's voice rang out dryly, "With the beasts surrounding you, it would be unwise for any of us to venture out there, and without a car you would be stranded, so it's up to you dearie."

Annoyance and frustration bubbled up within Emma and she climbed off the bed to slap at the wall in hopes of hitting the light switch. "Seriously?" She spat, "You want us to run through the forest, at night, and all the way back into town with those things chasing us and expect us not to die?" Emma shook her head in disbelief before insisting incredulously, "You're crazy."

"That's another thing you share with your parents," Rumple drawled slowly, as if talking to an imbecile. "you all have rather thick skulls."

"Hey!" Emma yelled, her jaw snapping shut in anger.

"Magic, Miss Swan. Use it to get to the Sheriff's station, and we'll be waiting."

"Oh." Fuck, right, she could do that now. Emma grimaced and released a heavy breath, "Why there and not your shop?"

"Because if those things are indeed following you, I don't want my things being destroyed."

Regina pushed her ruffled hair away from her face. He restless nap hadn't exactly primed her for a fight, but she rose easily from the bed and peeked through the window at the gargoyles. One of the stone creatures crouched below the sill, grinding out an unpleasant song. "If we get this done before midnight, I'll buy you a drink at Granny's," she offered, turning to look back at Emma.

"If we get this done before midnight, I'll let you buy me the whole bottle." Emma mumbled under her breath, wincing at the pain in her bandaged leg. With perplexed curiosity to see what caught Regina's attention, she peered over the woman's shoulder and curled her lip in disgust at the gargoyle. "Great, one of them's a peeping Tom."

"Concentrate," Regina demanded. She took Emma's hand as if she planned to dance with her, but instead their magic danced, flowing through the air on visible currents. They felt weightless, and all at once too heavy as their feet hit the floor at the Sheriff station.

Mary Margaret practically leapt forward to hug her daughter, while Rumple handed the potion over to Regina.

Regina accepted the vial and eyed it skeptically. "This isn't what we discussed," she murmured.

"It is much better at solving your particular problem," Rumple argued, with his fingers steepled contemplatively. "There are no unfortunate side effects. Emma, if the gargoyles are indeed chasing you, drinking this will obliterate them. If it's not you they're after, then it may strengthen the beasts' resolve to capture and convert their prey. But that will only give us more information."

"More information?" Regina snorted derisively. "Sure, we'll know who their target is after they rip her head off."

The back and forth between Rumple and her wife had Emma frowning, and she stepped between them both as she tried to wrap her mind around the discussion. "Hold on…" Emma murmured, giving Rumple a skeptical glance before turning to face Regina, "Back in the forest, they were definitely after me, they never came near the cabin at all until I was inside it. So…" Emma shrugged lightly, carefully taking the vial from Regina's hand. "While I get why you're concerned, I think the safest bet is they're after me, right? And Rumple said there's no side effects to this, so what's the harm in trying? It's better than standing around arguing about it when we all know those things aren't going to take long to get here."

Mind made up, Emma uncapped the vial and gave a nervous look towards her parents, hoping that their blind faith in 'good always winning' hadn't clouded her judgment and left her stupid. With her head tipped back, Emma let the liquid pool within her mouth, and swallowed it over in one gulp.

An earthshaking roar sent the vial flying into shards, along with the glass from the windows as the gargoyles crumbled into dust where they waited. Regina pulled Emma down behind a desk and protectively held onto her until the wind stopped. She stayed crouched until she saw Rumple get to his feet.

Mary Margaret clutched at her arm, which was covered in a bright ribbon of blood.

"That seemed almost too easy," Regina frowned. She rubbed her hands nervously and picked her way across the mess on the floor.

"I'll have you know that I spent hours slaving away on that potion," Rumple sniffed. He let his fingers hover above Mary Margaret's wound until the skin began to heal, then he gestured for Emma to come forward and began to repair the damage on her leg.

Regina bent down to examine the dirt left by the gargoyles, but thought better of touching it. She instead swept the dust away with her magic and into the trash bin.

David did the honors of taking out the garbage, while Regina rolled up her sleeves and did her best to set the rest of the office back in order.

"So, disaster averted, once again," Mary Margaret chirped, with a cheesy grin.

"I will celebrate by having a night cap and going to bed," Rumple grumbled, sneering in displeasure, in spite of their success. "Let's try to have a quiet week, shall we?"

Rumple strolled out of the station just as David entered, with Ruby and Henry and half the town, who had been cooped up since earlier that day.

Henry stepped forward to question them both and make sure they were unhurt. Regina hardly got a word in edgewise to Emma until much later that night.

They had gone to the diner for drinks and food, and spent an hour on the couch with Henry. Regina zoned out midway through a movie, but blinked back to awareness when Henry leaned down to kiss her cheek and say goodnight. She glanced sidelong at Emma, and then shifted over into Henry's vacant spot. "Are you up for some pillow talk?"

Though Emma had sat quietly through the whole movie, she hadn't been watching it. Lost entirely in her own thoughts about everything that had happened over the course of the day. Gargoyle madness aside, the lingering strangeness from when she'd been so abruptly awakened still left her uneasy. Frown lines deepened across her forehead as she tried to recall the dream, but nothing came back to her. Her hand clutched at a long forgotten beer idly, but as Regina shifted closer, she instinctively sipped it.

"Whatever that potion was, it left a bitter aftertaste." Emma muttered through a sigh, then shrugged, because hell if that was the worst of it she had nothing to complain about. Casually she turned to look at her wife, at the woman that had been through hell, and in turn caused Emma hell. There was so much to say, to talk about, but looking at the weary features and tired, hopeful, shining eyes blinking back at her, all Emma could bring herself to say was, "After the day we just had I think we can handle a little pillow talk, sure."

Everything Regina had shared back in the cabin had been heavy, and it weighed down Emma's shoulders, despite how much she tried to square them. Getting to her feet, she set her beer down on the nearest table then held her hand out to help Regina onto her feet. At the puzzled look from Regina, Emma added with a slight shrug, "The way I see it, it only counts as pillow talk if we're talking amongst pillows." With what she'd hoped was a soft grin, though in reality was more of a tentative gesture, Emma made her way upstairs and into the master bedroom.

Once inside, however, there was no bold displays of removing clothing or even the fire of defiance. Emma sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her boots off, along with her socks, then situated herself on what had naturally become her side of the bed after the first few times they'd slept together all those years ago. The room had changed so much, and yet really, not at all. Funny how that worked. "So, I don't know about you, but I'm almost looking forward to seeing Archie tomorrow." Emma laughed softly, waiting for Regina to get comfortable. "At least the damage to the town was minimum, for once."

Regina folded back the sheets cautiously and slid into place beside Emma.

The tension between them had fluctuated again, and although Regina wanted to lie down and put her head on Emma's chest, she fluffed her pillow instead and tucked it under her neck. "Are you alright?" she asked softly. "You seem… a bit out of sorts this evening. More so than usual after a near death experience."

Regina rested her hand against Emma's back and fleetingly caught her wife's eyes. "It is fortunate we don't have to worry about doing a lot of clean up," she agreed. "We have enough work to do between the two of us. Speaking of which… "

She hesitated, and then boldly shifted over in bed, to the spot she truly wanted to occupy—she nestled into Emma and lifted her chin to lock lips with her wife. "Thank you for listening earlier."

"I'm fine." Emma said absently, running her thumb across her badge methodically. perhaps it was the way the light hit it, or the shadow of her finger, but for a second she swore it said something other than Sheriff. "Just tired." She added, slapping the gold star atop the bedside cabinet. "I imagine you are too."

The mention of work had Emma nodding, though there was no quick witted quip to defuse the pressure of such a truthful statement. Only the soft warmth of Regina's hand, keeping her steady, anchoring her to the moment. "Hm?" Emma hummed quietly, turning just in time to watch her wife close the distance between them.

One golden eyebrow raised in question, though nothing left her lips except a soft exhale of breath before the delicate caress of Regina's mouth against hers. It was soft and unexpected, something Regina was giving to her rather than taking from her, and just as quickly as it had begun, it was over, leaving behind the ghostly sensation of warmth that rapidly vanished until it was nothing but a memory. "Thank you for sharing." Emma whispered back, her curious green eyes searching Regina's features as if she'd only met her today.

Regina's hand mapped the contours of Emma's back, traveling the same path over and over until her eyelids drooped in fatigue. She sought the spot on Emma's neck where her wife applied cologne and breathed in deeply; she was immensely grateful for the relief the light scent provided, and the way her whole body relaxed when she was near Emma. "Kissing you…is like looking at the stars." It left her full of wonder.

"Shh, sleep." Emma whispered softly, her hand slowly stroking along the length of her wife's arm until she felt the shift of weight, the slightly increased pressure against her side. Warm, even, puffs of breath ghosted against her neck and she knew, without a doubt, that Regina had managed to drift into slumber. Emma stayed perfectly still for an entire half hour, ensuring Regina would sleep soundly, before shifting carefully to free herself.

Her fingers trailed across her badge on the nightstand while her eyes glanced towards her gun, but neither were picked up as she stepped, barefooted, into the hallway. No sound was made as she walked from room to room, checking windows and glancing into the large gardens.

Logically, of course, Emma knew that the Gargoyles were gone, but that didn't remove the heavy unease she felt running through her veins. Fueling her from room to room and back again, until the first crack of light began at the horizon and streaked the night sky with the promise of a new day. Restless and exhausted, Emma finally slipped out of her clothes, and under the sheets to join her wife in sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Emma felt like her eyes had just closed when her phone blared to life, rattling irritably on the nightstand as if possessed by all the alarm clocks she’d destroyed through the years. The sigh she exhaled was heavy, but not as heavy as her limbs felt as she forced herself up with a groan to snatch the damn thing up before it woke Regina. At least one of them should have the luxury of sleep.

“This is unacceptable.” Snapped a sharp voice down the line, before Emma had the chance to utter a word. “Something has to be done immediately.”

“Who is this?” Emma rasped in annoyance. “Do you know what time it is?” Her bloodshot eyes sought out the clock on Regina’s nightstand to confirm her horrible suspicion. Six forty-seven.

“Time for morning prayer, Sheriff Swan. Or at least it was two minutes ago, before the rafters of our roof collapsed and almost took us out with it.” The Blue Fairy’s clipped response held no humor but was tainted by her sour expression.

“Maybe that’s a sign it’s too early,” Emma muttered under her breath, then snorted to herself.

“You find Nova’s concussion amusing, do you?” The quiet hiss of accusation would have made a lesser person recoil. “Had the plank of wood not hit her in the head, I could have lost an eye.”

Of course it wasn’t wise to antagonize the fairy, however, Emma’s impulse control had a short fuse when she was sleep deprived and the woman was shrieking all over her last nerve. “Thank god that didn’t happen.” She scoffed, and carried on as Blue sputtered indignantly down the line. “I’ll call David and have him stop over to get everything fixed up. It’ll be about a half hour, okay? Just stay clear of the area and get everyone away from the wreckage before someone else gets hurt.”

“I didn’t call the deputy and certainly don’t expect him without the Sheriff in tow.” Blue fired back just as quickly.

Emma cringed. Of all the people who would make life difficult, she should have realized it would be the fairy she often, though privately, thought had a wand stuck up her--

“This is your job, and I expect you to be here with him to fix the damage before anyone else is harmed. Unless the people you swore to protect in this town mean nothing to you.”

“I can’t join him. I have a prior commitment that’s just as important.” Emma’s tone was mildly victorious, until she realized she was gloating about therapy with Archie. Their appointment was at eight.

“I see, so the title of Sheriff is simply a decoration to your name. Well, if you aren’t able to properly fulfill your duties perhaps it’s time the town held another election.” This time, it was Blue who smirked, and the stretch of silence after her words only emphasized her smugness.

“Bitch.” Emma whispered, her golden eyebrows furrowed in aggravation.

“Excuse me?” Came the disbelieving tone through her cell.

”Which,” Emma quickly stressed, “Would only further delay the repairs to your building and cost more taxpayers’ money. So unless you want to be having your services and morning prayers with a sunroof, and let’s face it -- with the weather in Maine, not many people would bother to show up even if you were handing out complimentary umbrellas, how about I just get dressed and come straight over?”

“That’s all I wanted.” Huffed out Blue, who sounded less than thrilled that the Sheriff had called her bluff, and hung up before Emma had the chance to say anything else.  
“Yeah you’re welcome.” Emma spat out at the dial tone and slid her phone back onto the cabinet before the temptation to throw it became overpowering. It wasn’t even seven yet and already her body was stiff with tension. It carried across her shoulders and down her back, muscles tightening painfully, making it difficult to hang her head. Today was off to a great start, she thought bitterly.

Regina let out a low groan of grievance and squinted over at Emma. As an early riser and the town’s mayor, she was accustomed to dealing with problems first thing in the morning, but her body complained at every slight movement. “It’s a good thing Nova didn’t have any brains to start with,” she gruffly remarked. “Or that plank might have done some real damage. Do you want me to come with you?” She glanced down towards the edge of the bed, as if determining how to get herself onto her feet. Her entire being resisted the idea of getting up and trekking across town in the rain to repair a roof. Still, her guilt was a powerful motivator and she sat upright, reaching for her wristwatch and jewelry.

Emma’s lips curved into a wry smile. “Nova’s not so bad.” She twisted slightly to take in the barely awake state of Regina and tried to ignore the pang in her heart that compelled her to reach out and brush the woman’s dark hair back. “Blue on the other hand.” She rolled her eyes and forced herself to stand up. It was treacherous, being caught in a tug-of-war with her rivaling emotions. Especially first thing in the morning. Regina always did look unguarded in the moments when she first woke.

“Normally I’d say sure, but I don’t think we should miss another appointment.” Emma’s face contorted as she realized the words coming out of her mouth, then shook her head as she stumbled towards the dresser to grab fresh, clean clothes. “Besides, we only have one car between us, and I can get David to pick me up in the cruiser. We’re just fixing a roof, how long can it take?”

Regina felt dizzy, nauseous and altogether unprepared for hours of physical or magical labor, followed by a tense therapy session with Archie. She stared down at the cream colored carpet and ran her hand over her chest, where she could feel sickness rising. “Just give me a few minutes,” she whispered, and crossed the bedroom as fast as her legs could manage, closing the door firmly behind her. 

The sound of the bathroom door shutting wasn’t much of an answer, but Emma didn’t have time to worry about hurt feelings when she had to call her father to inform him of the lovely morning they’d be sharing. His response was as thrilled as Emma’s, but his tone was much more understanding than hers had been with Blue. In the middle of tugging on her jeans, Emma glanced at the clock and sighed. A little past seven. Time was slipping through her fingers in her sluggish haze.  
“Regina?” She called through the door, splaying one hand against it. “I’m going to give Tillman a call, and get him to bring my car back to his garage for repair.” Shit, which reminded her. “After I’m done with the convent I better get the trees out of the road that those Gargoyles threw at us before someone crashes. I’ll get David and some others to help, and with any luck I’ll make it to our appointment.”

After a bout of dry heaving that brought up nothing but acid, Regina didn’t have the strength to argue. Wary about coming off as too dismissive or casual, she let the door swing open and pretended to rummage through the cabinet. She brushed her teeth, washed her face and spared a glance at Emma. “Just text me if you’re going to be late.” 

Emma gave a tentative nod, silently agreeing that she’d get in touch with Regina should things take longer than she hoped. 

Regina doubted Emma would make it to the appointment at all, but she could withstand an hour of one-on-one with Dr. Hopper. “You’d better hurry,” she urged. “I’m sure David will be here any minute.”

With added speed, Emma then went about stuffing her sock clad feet into boots.

Regina went back into their room under the pretense of making the bed, but she ended up standing over the mattress and waiting for Emma to leave. At the beginning of their marriage, she kissed Emma goodbye every morning before work, but now all she could do was stare helplessly or keep her head down. “I’ll see you later,” she whispered, and reached out to brush her fingertips over one of Emma’s arms. The small gesture made her worry that Emma would falter or turn away. 

The barely there touch to Emma’s arm could have been left at just that, but the residual and undeniable sadness from Regina made her pause on her way towards the bedroom door. Without allowing herself to over think her actions, Emma turned quickly to press a chaste kiss to Regina’s cheek, while her fingers ghosted across the woman’s hip, deliberate but unsure all the same. “I’ll let you know if I’m going to be late.” She whispered, and then vanished out the room before her emotions got the better of her.

On the way out the door, Emma had to stop herself from snatching up her jacket. The ruined red leather hung awkwardly and she winced at the sight of it. Her armor looked exactly how she felt inside, and she cast her gaze towards her scuffed boots before tearing herself away and out the door. This time, she took care to at least shut it without rattling the hinges.

Wind and rain pelted her, soaking her shirt in the brief moment it took to climb into the passenger side of the cruiser. She rolled her eyes at David’s disapproving look, but accepted the Sheriff’s jacket he’d slung into the backseat just in case. Evidently he knew his daughter well, though neither of them mentioned it. 

David sipped coffee from one of the thermoses that Snow filled for him. “Tastes weird,” he explained, handing one to Emma as she came in out of the rain and buckled her seat belt. “I hope the birds and the squirrels didn’t make it. The last time that happened, I found feathers in my cup.”

“Yeah… I’ll pass.” Emma stated with wide eyes as her hand pushed the flask of coffee back towards her father. “With everything else going on this morning, I don’t think a side of bird flu is going to help.”

“Could be worse,” David laughed. “Your mother could have been Cinderella. I’d hate to see what her mice would do with a Keurig. Not all of them have human forms.” He gave his daughter a sidelong glance, one that was careful and cursory enough, but inquisitive and assessing. 

“Seriously?” Emma’s incredulous look said it all as she buckled up and turned to gaze out the window. “Have I told you lately how glad I am that I never grew up in the Enchanted Forest?” It was bad enough she caught Snow chatting with the birds in the park, but to live with it growing up? In hindsight, being an orphan had its silver linings.

David chuckled in amusement at Emma’s horror, but his face fell as he glanced out the window. The private moment grief for the woman who sat beside him didn’t last long, because he knew it would make Emma uncomfortable, but he did look at his daughter more closely when he turned back to her. “Did you get any rest last night?” He asked offhandedly, and steered the cruiser out of the mansion’s driveway. 

The serious, albeit casual way her father changed the subject could have ruffled Emma the wrong way, but given how tired she truly was, she just didn’t have the energy to start the day off with defensiveness. At least not towards him. “Honestly, I’d just gone to bed and barely shut my eyes for a few minutes before Blue called.” Though Emma’s posture was rigid, she rolled her shoulders and glanced towards David, supplying quietly, “Couldn’t shake the feeling that something was watching me. Ended up patrolling the house until dawn.”

David’s eyebrows rose sharply in worry, but he knew better than to probe deeper or make suggestions when Emma was confiding in him. “Let’s get this done and over with so you can go home and rest.” 

Purposefully taking a detour, David swung through town to pick up Ruby, who promised to help with any spur of the moment crises caused by the gargoyles’ attack.

Ruby hurried out to the car and slid into the backseat. “I’m sorry, but can’t the fairies fix their own damn roof?” she asked. “They have the greatest magic in all the realms, but they can’t swing a hammer?”

Emma cracked her first real smile at Ruby when her friend climbed into the car bearing gifts and a piece of her mind. “Tell me about it, how old is Blue and she hasn’t even bothered to learn basic DIY?” That being said, Emma knew better than to ask why Blue couldn’t just wave a wand and fix it. Over the years all attempts at getting that sort of help were met with the same dead end response. Fairy dust was finite, especially in Storybrooke, and every bit was precious. “What I don’t understand is why they get to control the dust. If it’s so special and rare we should have it locked away at the station or something, not left with a bunch of nuns.”

“The Blue Fairy likes to ‘conserve’ her magical resources,” David explained, although his tone reflected how he felt about that. “In her defense, she’s been complaining about the roof for some time. I believe the mayor’s office was handling the paperwork on the repairs.”

Ruby leaned forward and passed a paper bag with croissants and danish to Emma. “Speaking of the mayor, where is she this morning? Weren’t you two supposed to see Archie?”

Eager fingers plucked the offered bag from Ruby’s hand and rummaged through it for the bear claw she knew was lurking in there somewhere. 

“Our appointment is at eight.” Emma slurred around a mouthful of sweet pastry. Crumbs stuck to her lips and flaked across her sodden shirt to stick in patches. “It shouldn’t take that long to secure the roof.” Emma lifted her hand to wiggle her fingers, a reference to magic as she took another bite of her breakfast. “Don’t suppose you brought coffee? David thinks ours was made with a little help from our feathered friends and I for one, am not drinking it.”

Ruby offered up a styrofoam cup of diner coffee and then stretched languidly across the backseat. “I stopped trusting Snow long ago when it came to food preparation. She tried to feed me raw meat once, and I’m practically a vegetarian in my human form. There’s a good reason Mary Margaret became a teacher in this land and not a chef.”

“You’d better not say that to Snow’s face,” David chuckled. “She’s convinced she’s a great homemaker.” He coughed around his next mouthful of Snow’s coffee and then reached for the cup that Ruby held out on cue. 

“You take after your mom,” Ruby smirked at Emma. “But don’t worry – I showed her a few things in the kitchen and I can show you, too. When are we going to start with the cooking lessons again? Are we still doing that?” 

With a disgusted crinkle of her nose, Emma listened to the tales of her mother’s cooking, but that soon dissolved to outrage as she turned, slack jawed, to glare at Ruby. “I’m not as bad her!” The almost condescending smile she got in return coupled with David patting her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture didn’t ease the growing tension. “I’m not!” Emma sputtered, red faced as Ruby snorted. The humiliation stung like a slap and she huffed out a breath, “And not that I need it, but yes,” Emma grudgingly bit out. “Still at the community hall twice a week, right?”

It hadn’t been easy asking for pointers, especially when the whole town had been whispering about her marriage and the fact that she no longer lived at the mansion all those months ago, but Ruby had surprised her by sticking up posters and handing out leaflets in the diner about starting a free cooking class. When Emma saw people signing up, her friend had winked and murmured that she didn’t have to feel alone, because not everyone was great in the kitchen. She tried to remind herself that as she got sassed by Ruby. 

David drove up the path to the convent and shut off the car. He appeared hesitant to get out, but after a moment of surveying the damage, Blue swept down on them in outrage.

“You’re late!” Blue huffed, wide eyed and rampaging. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot until all three exited the car. “I told you it was an emergency. ” 

Emma narrowed her eyes at the encroaching Blue Fairy and then gaped at the state of the roof. “What the hell happened?” It looked worse than it did yesterday, that was for damn sure.

Nova sat on a transportable cot alongside three other fairies, who all seemed startled, but dutifully held up an umbrella to protect their injured friend from the rain. The pink fairy looked practically green, her pale complexion waxy and her eyes watery. From the way she pressed her lips together and the puffing of her cheeks, it was clear Nova could vomit any second.

All of the fairies were piously dressed in black frocks, except for Tink, who was standing apart from the rest, wrapped in a bright green towel. 

An ambulance roared onto the scene, and medics came to collect Nova. Other cars were pulling up behind the ambulance, filled with curious onlookers who wanted to help. The sight of so many faces would have startled Emma had she not been used to the town and its ability to rally forces for the dreariest of causes.

“What’s going on?” Belle asked as she sprang from Rumple’s car. 

Rumple followed with less vigor, looking as disgruntled as ever. 

Two of the seven dwarves wandered up to inspect the roof. Marco and August arrived, followed by Sean and Ashley with Alexandra in tow. Cars kept arriving and unloading volunteers or rubberneckers. 

“Utter chaos,” Rumple spat in disgust and sneered up at the gaping hole in the shingles. “The Blue Fairy cries help, and the whole town rushes to do her bidding. Why is she so beloved? She’s done more harm than the lot of us.”

Though Emma would never admit it, she rather enjoyed Rumple’s penchant for saying what was on his mind regardless of how blunt it may be. Which was why, as he stepped towards her, she smirked and muttered covertly, “You can say that again.”

“I was in the shower,” Tink helpfully chimed in, “But I heard one of the other girls say that the Blue Fairy was working some magic this morning and that’s why the roof came crashing down. There’s a hint of fairy dust in the air, anyway.”

Winnie strolled up across the lawn, carelessly stepping on flowers and munching on a bagel. She glanced around at all of the scattered fairies in the rain and shot a smirk in Emma’s direction. “There’s a joke here somewhere about prudes and getting wet.” 

Tink caught Emma’s attention, but just as her eyebrows rose with surprise at the allegation of magic, Winnie walked over along with the two dwarves and damn it, if her comment didn’t make Emma smirk. The look she got from Belle, however, meant it was short lived and Emma shook her head as if clearing away her thoughts.  
“Why were you doing magic when you called us to come and fix it?” Emma inquired, leaning into Blue’s personal space just to prove that she wasn’t intimidated by the fairy. She scrutinized her with narrowed green eyes, looking for any hint of deceit.

“Given that out of all the places in town those beasts chose our roof to perch on, I wanted to put up wards so that in future, when whatever magical catastrophe hits, it won’t be residing on my property.” The Blue Fairy snapped, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Emma grimaced slightly. The sharp tone, in many ways, reminded her of her first encounters with Regina. The only difference was she enjoyed that challenging tone from the mayor, and thankfully there was no hint of sexual tension from the fairy. The idea of which almost made Emma lose her appetite for her bear claw. “Right.” She finally drawled, and side eyed Rumple before motioning with her head to urge them along. “We better get to it then.”

While Emma worked up a sweat across town, Regina stepped out of a hot shower and began to dress for her appointment with Archie. She put on a white blouse, black suit pants and the belt that she wore loosened by a notch in the days before Rumple confirmed she was pregnant. At the time, she blamed Henry and Emma for her sudden weight gain, because both ate like growing teenage boys and their bad habits rubbed off on her. Afterwards, she avoided the belt for months and pushed it away in the back of the drawer. 

Regina tightened the belt to prove to herself that her stomach troubles as of late were nothing more than that, although it was much too early for her to show any growth in her waist line. 

As she went down the stairs and fixed her hair in the hall mirror, she noticed Emma’s red jacket and the deep rips in the leather. She paused over the jacket, and then tucked it over her arm. Her fingertips burned with energy as they kissed over the fabric, making it as good as new. 

On her way out the door, she took the jacket with her. She planned to give it to Emma after the session, since she knew how her wife hated to be without it. But when she arrived at Dr. Hopper’s office, she didn’t see Emma’s car and hadn’t received a text message explaining the lateness. 

Regina went inside by herself, clutching the red jacket as a substitute for Emma.

“Emma had to deal with a disaster this morning,” Regina explained, although she addressed the excuse to Pongo instead of Archie. “I’m sure she’ll be joining us soon.”

The Dalmatian came to greet her first, and she bent down to stroke behind his ears to avoid Archie’s scrutiny over the fact that she’d shown up alone. 

With a soft smile of understanding, Archie stepped aside and waited for Regina to enter. Regina’s defensiveness was nothing new to him and he could sense the vulnerability that came off of the former Evil Queen like an aura that clung to her frame. Even if she hadn’t been carrying Emma’s leather jacket, he’d have noticed the vulnerability. “Ah, yes, I heard all about the trouble with the Gargoyles. I imagine there’s much to be done around town.” He shut the door and waved his towards the couch, “Please. Make yourself comfortable.”

The sincerity in Archie’s voice as he took his seat might have seemed naïve. After all, when had Regina ever felt comfortable in his office? But he never lost hope that it could happen. He waited a moment before picking up his notebook and pen, giving Regina time that he knew from experience she needed. Neither of them mentioned this little ritual, but he found it best to respect it, and wait for eye contact before so much as asking anything.

When Regina finally sat down and looked at him, he smiled tentatively and adjusted his glasses. “How have things been between you both?” He asked softly, his tone soothing as he relaxed into his chair. “Have you noticed any improvement? Previously you were both very closed off to one another. Emotions were very high. Do you feel that things have calmed down a little?”

Regina placed the red jacket over her lap and fussed with the little silver buttons on the collar. “Maybe a little,” she muttered. “We have been talking. But there’s still that ever-present wall between us.” 

Swallowing, Regina let her eyes skip from the fireplace to each of the drawings and paintings. “Sometimes, she glances over to my side of the wall. She looks at me with pity. When she reaches out, it’s for my sake more than her own. But I’ll come right out and say it. I don’t think being with me is healthy for her. She won’t leave me, and I don’t want her to go, but sometimes I wonder if she’s afraid…. especially after learning what I am capable of. We have been talking, but whatever I say, it’s not enough. Nothing I do is enough.” 

Silence lingered as Archie absorbed the information given to him. His attention to what was said, and ultimately to what wasn’t, was precisely the qualities that helped him help others over the years. “Talking is the first step to correcting things.” His somber voice quietly insisted. “I sense however, you’re not entirely pleased with the progress being made but-” There was a pause as Archie smiled, the slightest tilt of his head given in order to catch Regina’s eyes. “We both know healing takes time. It’s easier to point out the negatives. However, today I think we ought to focus on the positives. You say Emma reaches out to you with pity, and while that may be true, you have to remember that Emma is attempting to reach out to you. If she were afraid of you Regina, or truly didn’t wish to work things out, I feel that she’d have said something already. I can’t speak for Emma, of course, but based on the woman who stormed into my office all those years ago and, quite honestly, your life, do you really believe she’d ever stay anywhere she didn’t want to just to appease the person who she feels has hurt her?”

“Of course not,” Regina snapped indignantly. “But she isn’t thinking of herself. All of those years ago, she only challenged me for Henry. Now she’s thinking of Henry, and me, and the possible new life that we created together. She’s sacrificed herself plenty of times to save me.” She sucked on her bottom lip and jostled her leg anxiously—two nervous habits she learned to resist in her childhood, although they occasionally surfaced again when she felt particularly on edge.

Archie’s open expression was somewhat puzzled. “Perhaps at first she challenged you for Henry, but ultimately she was the first person to stand up for you, who challenged others to see you the way she’d always seen you, as simply Regina. Have you considered that she might very well be thinking not only of you, Henry, and any future children, but also of herself? Before this all happened you two were very happy together. Do you feel as if you no longer can be?”

“I don’t know,” Regina admitted, fraught with worry and spiraling out-of-control emotions. “I told her about my past yesterday. I thought it would help, but she seemed to be walking on eggshells around me this morning and she’s not here right now. Granted, the town emergency takes precedence over the emergencies in our marriage. We can’t neglect our duties. But it must be a relief to be dealing with someone else’s problems instead of mine today.” 

The soft sounds of Archie’s pen on paper filled the quiet room for a few brief seconds before he cleared his throat and set the notepad aside. Regina’s past was, and would always be, a very sensitive subject. So it was with care that he listened to her every word and nodded gently in encouragement. “Might I suggest approaching it from a new angle, so to speak... If it had been the other way around, and Emma had opened up about things in her past, would you not be gentle with her the next morning?”

Regina fidgeted as Archie came up with explanations for Emma’s behavior and asked questions that made her feel cornered. She assumed she had to answer him eventually, but she brooded in silent consideration until his calm, yet crisp voice shook her out of it. “Emma never shares anything about her past,” she snapped. “But, yes, of course, I would be gentle.” She softened herself, glancing down at the heap of red leather in her arms. 

“Would it make a difference if she did?” Archie inquired curiously. Not everyone that sat on his couch over the years had the ability to talk about their inner workings, or the things that had happened in their lives. Some people functioned fine like that, they knew who they were, others, often struggled silently. Whether Emma could, or would, share those parts of herself with Regina was truly none of his business, but he couldn’t help but wonder if Regina wanted to know because she felt it would help Emma, or because she thought it was owed to her after sharing pieces of her own past.

Regina scrunched her brows together and glowered at the floor instead of Archie. “I think it would help if Emma confided in anyone,” she grumpily explained. “She doesn’t have any friends, apart from her mother and Ruby. There’s no one she can trust. She no longer trusts me.” She folded Emma’s jacket neatly and set it aside. Putting down the leather coat made panic rise through her chest, and her throat tightened in reflex. 

“Are we done for today?” she asked hopefully.

Archie motioned to the clock on the wall. “You still have fifty minutes left. If you would like to reschedule for later we can do that, or, we can continue. Either way it’s fine with me.”

The hands on the wall clock pointed downward in a lopsided frown, positioned at 8:20 AM. “We have forty minutes,” Regina sniffed out, correcting him. “And I’d much rather get this over with now. Why don’t you tell me what else we need to discuss? I am sure you have a list of topics written on that notepad of yours.” She had the childish impulse to snatch the notepad right out of his hands, but she tucked her hands under her legs. 

“Do you feel that, perhaps, you’re projecting some of your own feelings onto Emma?” The question was soft as Archie steepled his fingers and gauged Regina’s reaction. Clearly he wasn’t about to end the session anytime soon, but he didn’t lose focus by stating so, or by being baited into changing topics. “You seem angry with her for not leaving you, and yet, angry that she hasn’t yet forgiven you. It’s natural to have conflicting emotions, but why do you think you feel this way?”

Regina realized she couldn’t censor herself if she wanted her therapy session to be effective, but she hated when Archie pointed out her contradictions. In spite of the increasing amount of time she spent in self-reflection, she’d avoided thinking of her anger, because she didn’t feel as though she deserved to be angry at all. She should be groveling and patient with Emma, but each day left her afraid and uncertain, and she only knew how to deal with it through outright aggression or meek withdrawal.  
“I don’t know where I stand with her,” Regina finally exhaled. “For most of my life, I’ve known what to expect from people. Very few have shown me mercy. And I would rather endure a harsh punishment than feel so unsure about the future. I intentionally provoked her the night before last. We fought. Not just with words…” 

Regina self-consciously touched her wrist, fixed her hair and tried to ignore Archie’s attempt to catch her eyes again. “I hurt her, and she hurt me.” She stuck out her jaw and tilted her head as she barely mouthed the words, “We slept together. It was violent. It never should have happened.”

Archie’s pen stopped mid word as it scribbled across his pad, and his eyes followed Regina from over the rims of his glasses as she stood and walked to the window. There were countless platitudes dancing within his mind, but he kept his tongue still. Regina was acknowledging that what had happened wasn’t the healthiest reactions for either of them to express, and that, more than anything, was important. “And she feels the same way about it?” Despite the sheriff not being there, Archie still wanted to understand the situation as best he could.

Wetting her dry lips, Regina positioned herself by the windows where the red blinds were drawn open just enough to see the street below.  
She pushed out her chin in a quietly oppositional way, and stared at her black reflection in the windowpane. Her face belonged to no one she recognized, until she looked more closely at the tiny worry wrinkles and sad brown eyes that shined so brightly when they brimmed with fresh tears. “Yes, and no,” she replied in a hush. “We both derived a certain pleasure from it. I wanted her to lash out and challenge me, but I provoked her to dangerous extremes and she responded in kind by adding her own fuel to the fire. I know she regards the incident as a mistake, but it’s one she was bound to make. She hates me as much as she loves me right now, and I think she needed to express all of that in a physical way…”

Her hand slipped into her pocket and she glanced down at her cell phone again, but rather than text Emma to complain about the lateness, she simply tucked the device away, deeper in her pocket. She needed a tissue, but she refused to budge from her place at the window or give Archie any opportunity to see her cry.“ I haven’t discussed this matter with Emma, so what I say to you now does not leave this room.” 

“Of course I wouldn’t share confidential matters.” The earnest way Archie spoke was emphasized by the way he set the notepad aside and left his pen on top of it. Whatever Regina was going to share, he made sure she had his full attention.

Regina sniffled quietly at the first warning signs of tears and stared far down at the tire marks left on the rainy roads as cars passed by, none of them even resembling Emma’s cruiser. “I’ve been having nightmares recently. I’ve dreamt about Graham, and what I deprived him of – both his free will and his life. I keep finding myself in places I haven’t seen in over thirty years. I dream about my mother, and the King, and everything I’ve worked so hard to forget. Sometimes I even feel as though I’m under a curse. It’s been ongoing for years, but there was only one other time when it was this bad. When Emma first came into town, I had nightmares about her tying me to a tree and ending my life with her sword. That why was I immediately baked a poison apple tart and gave it to her.” 

“I see…” It was clear from Archie’s dazed tone he was still comprehending the new information. He took a moment by cleaning his glasses, then pushed them back onto his nose to gaze at Regina. “And have these nightmares always been a constant, or do they come and go in times of stress?” It was a common occurrence, but one he wasn’t entirely sure applied here. From her rigid posture and the way she stared out the window, Archie could have sworn Regina was afraid. “Do you think your dreams could be influencing your actions again?”

Emma’s absence and the anxiety-filled therapy session were all taking their toll on Regina, and her lip curled back in rage. “You’re the expert,” she snapped at Archie. “Aren’t you supposed to know the answer to that?”

She swung around on him and fixed the cricket with an intimidating stare. “None of this is helping me. It’s only making everything worse. And tell me, what is the point of couples’ therapy if Emma isn’t here? Where is she?” 

\------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you out of your mind?” Emma screamed, her face red and her hair a golden mess of tugs and wood splinters.

“Take it easy.” David cautioned quietly, raising his hand up as if it would deter the oncoming confrontation.

“I told you I tried to place a protection spell.” Blue stated coolly, her face giving away nothing as she stared back at Emma, unfazed by her anger.

“What part of that explains why the spell just blew apart the wood I needed to fix it?” Emma’s booted feet carried her towards the fairy with every snarled word until she was standing in front of the woman. Her nostrils flared and her eyes were wild as she snapped, “I could have died!”

Blue sniffed and flicked her gaze towards the new damage before she sighed out, “It means you can’t use magic on it. I thought you’d have learned that by now.” Blue’s judgmental gaze slid to David, “You know how dangerous it is for someone to have such magic without the knowledge to control all of her gifts.”

“Hey!” Emma all but barked in her own defense, “We’re not all fairies here. Some of us can combine our magic with others. Maybe you should learn about that.”

“Uh, Emma…” Ruby tentatively called from the side. “Maybe ask why all of our phones aren’t working.”

Emma froze for a second. She’d set an alarm earlier to remind her to about the therapy appointment. Panic washed over her and in a mad scramble, she dug her phone out of her pocket only to be greeted by a black screen. “Come on…” She hissed, but it refused to turn back on. This time she glared at the fairy, intent on blaming her for all the trouble. “What happened to our phones?”

“Obviously some sort of magical shockwave.” Blue stated slowly.

Emma’s features shifted as she grimaced, “What the hell is that?”

Blue blinked as if Emma’s lack of understanding baffled her, and then dully explained, “It’s the result of you not following my simple and very explicit instructions.”

David climbed up a ladder to the rafters and continued manually hammering the shingles back into place. “For now, we’ve got it handled,” he insisted. “Emma, there’s another toolbox in the cruiser. Can you grab it for me?” 

Ruby looked like she was on the verge of jumping in, and then sprang forward, placing her hand on Emma’s shoulder and guiding her away from Blue. 

Winnie also came over to see what the commotion was all about and followed Emma towards the cruiser. “Hey, don’t worry about Blue,” she frowned and wiped her hands on her jeans. “She likes to be all high and mighty because she’s the head Fairy. But the only wand that power-tripping bitch needs is one that vibrates.” 

Emma slammed the trunk of the cruiser with force, but it didn’t help relieve her pent up frustration. She released a heavy breath and clenched her hand around the toolbox handle. Rather than comment on the remarks no doubt made to make her feel better, Emma shook her head and held out her free hand. “Let me see your phone.”  
When Winnie appeared to hesitate, the sheriff released a huff of breath and motioned towards the building in need of serious repair. It felt like the progress they’d made had been erased, and Emma was in no mood to mess around. 

“Thanks.” Emma muttered when the phone was handed over. Golden eyebrows came together in an angry frown when she read the time. Emma typed in her wife’s number and hit the call button. It rang, but the sudden sound of sizzling next to her ear was all the warning she got before Winnie’s phone flat lined like the rest of them. “Why did this have to happen today?" Emma moaned under her breath, then handed Winnie back her phone. “David can handle this.” Emma said, more to herself than anyone next to her, and marched back inside with the toolbox and called up to him, “I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”

Before he had the chance to react, Emma turned to walk away, only to be blocked by Ruby.

“Hey, hold up,” Ruby pleaded. “Talk to me, Em. Why are you letting Blue get on your last nerve? Normally nothing gets under your skin this easily.” She hung onto Emma’s shoulder, both to soothe and keep Emma from overreacting. 

Emma let out a guttural, throaty noise of pure anger, but it wasn’t directed to Ruby, who guided her back towards the cruiser and out of the way. “From the second Blue called me today she’s been dancing all over my last nerve.” With a glare towards the building, Emma snarled, “Do you know when I tried to get David to come down instead of me she threatened to start a new campaign for a vote on town Sheriff?”

Instinctively Emma's hand went to her belt. Pale fingers curled around the gold star until the metal bit into her palm enough to hurt. “I’m half an hour late for my appointment with Regina, all our phones are out, and I swore I’d text her if I couldn’t make it.” Emma kicked the front tire of the cruiser before she turned her back to her friend in an attempt to calm down. “You know, just once, I’d like something to go right for a damn change.”

Ruby crinkled her nose and went to grab a bottle of water for Emma. She hoisted herself up on the back of the cruiser and swung her legs. “Just take a moment to breathe,” she advised. “Regina knows what you’re facing with when it comes to Blue. She’s going to understand why you couldn’t text. We’ll deal with that issue in a sec, but first come sit down and dish. If you’re not making it to therapy today, what’s better than talking to your best friend?”

“Talking to someone who has a clue?” Winnie smirked saucily and placed a hand on her hip. “I mean no offense, but how many stable relationships have you been in? My ex and I were together for three hundred years, and we disagree on just about everything.”

With a shake of her head, Emma reluctantly heeded Ruby’s advice and sat next to her friend on the car. Her lips parted, but before any sound escaped, Winnie joined in the conversation and Emma squinted at her in disbelief. “You’ve been on and off with her for three hundred years? You know what, I’m not even surprised anymore. The other week an old guy in the park said he was in his hundreds, then offered to tell me his secret if I rubbed his feet.”

Using the tips of her fingers, Emma pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. “I thought you two were back together, but you just said ex?” Emma paused, then side eyed Ruby. “What makes you think I need any advice anyway?” To say she was skeptical was an understatement, but Emma kept that to herself as she looked between the two women.

Ruby lounged against the car as if she was sunning. “Your mother, for one. You’re all Snow talks about lately. Plus you looked dejected when you picked me up this morning for our little outing. Normally you seem empowered and ready to go when someone calls for your help, and Regina is always at your side. The fact that keeping the therapy appointment was more important than a town problem speaks volumes.”

Winnie shrugged and squeezed herself in between Emma and Ruby on the car, then gestured at the bottle of water in Emma’s hand. “You should use your magic to turn that into liquor,” she remarked. “I bet you could use a drink for this conversation.” 

It irked Emma when Winnie wiggled into a spot she hadn’t been invited too, and yet she didn’t really care as much as she probably should have, because she moved slightly to accommodate her, as did Ruby, with a weary sigh. What was that saying, about misery loving company? Emma wondered if it applied even as her hands twisted around the bottle in temptation. With a huff of breath, she passed off the bottle of water and tried to clear her head.

Winnie twirled the long strings on her sweatshirt and stared back at the convent roof, watching the work in progress. “Here’s my personal take on relationships. No matter what, being close to anyone is going to be difficult maintain because people are liars. Everyone is hiding something, and sometimes they’re even hiding things from themselves. For the last hundred years or so, I stayed with my ex solely because she’s a piece of hot ass. I just ignore everything she says and it all works out. But you’re definitely one of those people who needs a deeper, meaningful connection, aren’t you? So I guess you and Regina need to try being honest as much as possible. I mean, let it all out. Scream and yell. You’ll feel better afterwards. Or, you could always have a rational conversation. But usually when people are coolheaded, they watch what they say. I always listen to what people have to say when they’re angry, because that’s when all of their bullshit resentments come out.”

“I can’t believe they let you teach kids,” Ruby muttered. 

“It’s great working with kids,” Winnie insisted. “It’s really easy to convince them to do stuff. I can get them to do anything for a gold star or a lollipop. Like, what adult is actually going to do anything for a sticker?” She glanced sideways down at Emma and leaned back on one elbow. “But let’s not change the subject. How are things between you and Regina?” 

Emma’s limbs felt heavy and her eyes stung, but she refused to let it affect her. After all, it wasn’t the first time she was running on empty and it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last. “Look, everyone in town knows we’re going through shit. It’s not a secret that we’re trying to work on our marriage, or that we’re not getting divorced when that was all Regina had talked about for months. A little collapsed roof doesn’t seem that important when it comes to salvaging my family.”

It would have been easier if Winnie hadn’t decide to offer up her wisdom. It turned out a hell of a lot bleaker than Emma had expected, and her face twisted into a grimace. “Is this your idea of a pep talk?”

The sheriff quietly acknowledged that the first part was true. Everybody was a liar to some extent. Some entirely more than others. However she ignored the question about needing a deeper connection because whether she liked it or not, it was true. “Yeah well, we’ve already done the anger and screaming. I don’t think that’s the answer to anything.” Emma’s jaw tightened as she clenched her teeth. What they’d done left her conflicted and ashamed. Regina had provoked her, sure, but she could have walked away. She could have chosen not to participate or react. Instead, Emma had retaliated and attacked in kind, and it might have left them a little more broken.  
“We’re doing better now.” Emma muttered irritably. Even to her own ears it sounded like a lie. “We’re…fine.” She struggled to articulate how she felt, in part because she didn’t want to say anything at all. “It’s complicated.” She finally stated.

“That either means you’re feeling guilty about something and sleeping on the couch, or you’re getting laid but haven’t fixed anything between you,” Winnie interpreted. “Going to guess the latter, because you don’t really seem like the type to go without. So, here’s what you have to do… Go home and put your arms around her. It’s as simple as that.”

“First of all,” Emma turned to look at Winnie, utterly scandalized, “My sex life is nobody's business but my own and second, what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Not the type to go without? What the hell kind of implication was that? If she wasn’t so defensive she might have said that was rich coming from a woman who talked about her sex life every two seconds.

Winnie slid off the trunk of the car and rolled her eyes at Emma. “Someone is a bit touchy,” she sniffed, unaffected by Emma's reactive outburst. “Maybe my assumption was way off about you getting laid.” 

Emma turned to glare at the redhead. “Someone’s obviously forgotten that time when my wife set her on fire.” Honestly, sometimes she didn’t know what to think of the woman’s crass comments. No wonder her relationship was constantly on the rocks. Not that Emma could talk since hers was pretty much in the same condition.

Ruby shifted around so she had a better view of Emma. She smirked to herself over Emma’s comments, but she chose not to engage Winnie further. “What have you both been doing to work through your issues, other than seeing Archie?” she asked Emma. 

With her mind made up to ignore Winnie, Emma leaned forward slightly to look at Ruby and consider her friend’s question. “Regina and I have started talking, and…” Emma's face went blank as she tried to think of anything else they’d actually really tried. Then her eyebrows formed a perplexed line as she uttered, “So far that’s it. I mean, if it hadn’t been for the gargoyles we were going to go see a movie.”

“A movie is a good start,” Ruby said uncertainly. “Apart from chasing down magical baddies, the two of you don’t get out much. You should take her out tonight.”

Uncomfortable with discussing such things next to Winnie, Emma replied easily, “Not tonight. I’m already exhausted.” She squeezed Ruby’s arm in a way that said she’d talk about it later.

Ruby crossed her arms and turned her back to the construction on the roof. “Well, why don’t you let me drop you off at Archie’s and then I’ll come back for your Dad? We’ll figure out some excuse so you can bail.”

“That sounds great, Ruby.” Emma sighed out gratefully, and tossed Ruby the car keys. Without another glance towards Winnie, the sheriff slid into the passenger side and reclined against the seat. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Ruby hopped into the cruiser and hardly waited until Winnie stepped towards the curb before flooring the gas and backing away from the convent. “So what’s really going on with you and Regina? I’m honestly surprised you came out to help today. Why didn’t you just tell David you needed to go see Archie? You know he probably could have figured out what to do on his own, right? Don’t take Blue’s threats seriously.” 

Emma sagged slightly. She could afford to drop the act and lose some of her armor with Ruby as her only witness. “I tried to get out of it. That’s when she threw it in my face that she could start a campaign for a vote on who gets to be sheriff.” The disgust stuck to Emma’s tongue as she seethed, but she had no choice to swallow it down. “I don’t even know where to start with what’s going on between me and Regina” Even if she wanted to explain, she couldn’t. Nobody could ever know that Regina had taken her memories. As much as she was angry, Emma knew if people found out, it would hurt Regina more than anything, and she didn’t want that. They would deal with it alone, the way they should. It was their business.

Ruby peered in the rearview mirror and then hesitantly broached a subject she seemed worried about discussing. “Are you avoiding your session on purpose?” she asked. “I know it’s been difficult for you to talk to Archie about all of your personal stuff.”

“I’m not avoiding it.” Emma huffed out defensively, her fingers picking pieces of splintered wood off herself with irritation. For a long moment she said nothing, and went so far as to fold her arms across her chest and look out the side window. “I’m not. I just might not exactly feel entirely bad for missing some of it. I didn’t miss it intentionally, I really thought I could just, you know, poof the roof back together, pick us up some coffee and head over.” Emma ground her teeth together and frowned as she shifted in her seat.

“I think Regina is looking for something, like this one thing that’s going to fix everything, and she can’t work out what it is. Which is frustrating her. I frustrate her. I’m not acting how she thinks I should act, or in a way she knows how to handle. But the thing is it’s not like that. There isn’t one big magical fix. I don’t know how to put things back together -- not the way I think she wants anyway. It’s like, she hurt me, and I can’t forgive her, but I love her, and want to be with her. But at the same time I kind of want to not see her face, but I also want to have her in my arms and lean over in the morning and cop a feel as she makes breakfast.” Emma’s face scrunched as she turned to look at Ruby. 

Ruby seemed daunted by Emma’s contradictory feelings and her mouth hung open for a moment at her friend’s honesty. “Wow,” she breathed out. “Okay, Em. Here are my thoughts. If you love Regina, eventually you’re going to have to forgive her. Maybe there isn’t a way to fix whatever happened between you. There’s no way to go back and change it. But you can start over. What you need to think about is: did she learn from her mistake? Is she still treating you like something she scraped off her designer, overpriced shoes?” 

Did Regina learn from her mistake? It was such a simple question, and yet Emma fell into silence as she repeated it in her mind like a mantra. It felt too easy to answer, and that perplexed Emma. But if she was being honest, that’s what it really came down to. Regina had done many terrible things in their marriage, most of which Emma had put up with in the past year. That was the problem, wasn’t it? As much as it had tortured Emma to be pushed and pulled and cast out of her home, she hadn’t been the only one hurting. Fear could get the best of anyone. Make them react in troubling, even extreme ways.

Quietly, Emma thought of every sad look that her wife had directed her way. Every small, tentative gesture to bridge the increasing gap between them now that she’d finally, finally, told the truth of everything that had happened. She shook her head, clearing away the noise of arguments and screaming voices until all that echoed within her was what she’d known for a while. Regina showed remorse. The reason Regina was looking for some magical moment to fix everything was because she’d never experienced someone encountering the worst of her, and still wanting to be with her, and if there wasn’t this one thing that could fix it all, then she expected it to fall apart.

“You know, all this time, I’ve been thinking of how she locked me out of our home, her heart, and how miserable that made me.” Emma’s voice was barely a whisper, and she turned to look at Ruby somberly. “And I’m only now just realizing I’m doing the same damn thing to her.” There was no mirthless laugh or sad sigh, only a slow nod as she sucked in a deep breath and looked at the passing buildings as Ruby slowed down and parked shortly after. “Well, I didn’t need to see Archie today. I just needed to lean on you a little.” Emma’s smile was genuine, if not a little bittersweet as she stepped out of the cruiser. “If I don’t see you later, I’ll see you tomorrow. And Ruby?” Emma paused, ducked her head down to look at her friend, and whispered, “Thanks.”

Then the sheriff turned on her heel to jog up the stairs to Archie’s office. She knocked twice as she pushed her way inside and stated as she entered, “Magical shockwave knocked out everyone's phones. I got here as soon as I could.”

Regina's dejected, slumping shoulders lifted perceptibly when Emma came into the office. She opened her balled fists without being consciously aware of it, and cast her mournful eyes between Archie and Emma. "We were just concluding the session," she stated, in spite of the five minutes left on the clock and the unfinished exercise she and Archie were engaged in. Snagging Emma's leather jacket in her fingers, she dangled it out to her wife and then went to grab her own overcoat. "You mentioned something about a magical shockwave?" she asked, carefully schooling her features to conceal that she was upset by Emma's delayed arrival. She positioned herself between Emma and Archie, lest the two begin to talk and further extend her discomfort and the already lengthy therapy appointment. 

The energy that Emma carried in her slender frame radiated out of her like a living, breathing force. Something inside her had changed, and it reflected in her green eyes, no longer stormy and dull; they held an intensity as she looked straight at Regina and waited for the woman to meet her gaze. “I’m sorry I missed our session. Turns out the roof didn’t just start to collapse on its own. Blue tried to put a protection spell on the building, and it started the whole thing off. Then I get there, and I tried to use magic to put things back together, and…” Maybe it was best to leave out the danger, but the sheriff still motioned to herself and the debris that stuck to her and messed up her hair. “Let’s just say the Blue Fairy’s magic doesn't like to play with others. So all the construction is being done by hand and when I realized our phones were out…” Emma pulled hers from her pocket and handed it to Regina. “I got Ruby to drive me here. Because the town, it’s always going to have problems. There’s always going to be some disaster happening, and there are more than enough people to take care of it. This is more important. You’re more important.”

Emma wet her lips in a moment of nervousness, then finally looked at Archie. “We’ll be at the next appointment, but right now, I need to talk to my wife.” The sheriff glanced at Regina, then headed back into the hallway, hoping the woman would follow her.

Regina treaded cautiously and shut the door behind her, though she was drawn in by the change she witnessed in Emma. She took the initiative and crossed the distance between them, looping both arms around Emma’s waist and laying her head on her wife’s chest. “What do you want to talk about?” she hoarsely asked, fearing the worst but also hoping against all odds for the best. She picked pieces of plaster and dirt off of Emma’s shoulders and out of long strands of blonde hair. 

Emma’s hand instinctively found Regina’s hip while the other brushed back the woman’s dark hair to cup her cheek. For a long moment Emma didn’t speak - she just stood there, feeling Regina pressed against her, breathing in the scents that clung to her wife. 

“We need time together.” The sheriff finally whispered, “Not in the mansion. No family. No baggage. No Storybrooke where everyone’s watching.” Emma pulled back just enough to look at Regina. Pale fingers settled under her wife’s chin ensuring they looked into one another's eyes. “Come with me for today?” It was a lot to ask, she knew that, but she didn’t want to talk about where they were going. It was still forming in her mind though her heart guided her.

Regina held still, afraid to let go of Emma or destroy their brief chance to be close. “Yes,” she whispered. “Of course.” She swallowed audibly, and hard lines of tension appeared along her forehead as she finally stepped back and went out into the parking lot. She took the keys for the Mercedes from her purse and handed them off to Emma.

Once in the car, her face lost all expression, but she slipped a hand onto Emma’s knee for reassurance. The simple touch gave her peace of mind – not only did Emma allow the affectionate gesture, but also seemed receptive to it. “I assume our destination is a surprise?” she asked softly.

“Yeah.” Emma breathed out softly. Her hand found Regina’s to splay across it as they made their way out of Storybrooke. With a slight tingle of magic, she sorted her appearance as the town line came into view. Once out of town, the sheriff had Regina call Mary Margaret to make sure Henry could spend the night there, but other than that the car ride was silent. Save the radio. They listened for hours as Emma drove through towns. Her decisive turns saying clearly that she knew where she was going. By the time they stopped, it was mid afternoon, and they sat in the parking lot of what looked like a small fairground. People wandered happily towards the attractions. The cloudy sky was grey and despite herself, Emma smiled at the familiarity. “We’re here.”

Slipping out of the car, Emma waited for Regina to do the same before locking the car. She stuffed the keys into her jeans pocket and motioned with a nod of her head to where they were going. They wandered through the crowd for a few minutes, taking in the sights as Emma got her bearings. “Ingrid took me to a place like this.” Her tone was soft with hints of wistfulness. The sheriff took in a slow, deep breath, and tipped her head to look at the booths. Hands exchanging tickets, money being swapped for cand floss and corndogs. The scents and sounds had never changed over the years. “I saw envelopes in her bag, and automatically thought she was sending me back to the orphanage.” Emma spoke as they walked around the fair, passing rides she’d loved and games she still wanted to play. “I confronted her immediately. Everyone sent me back, so why wouldn’t she? I thought that she was only being nice to soften the blow.” Golden eyebrows came together in a pained frown as she shook her head, blonde hair swaying in the breeze. “Turns out she had filled out the forms to adopted me. She didn’t want to just foster me, she wanted us to be a family. A proper family.”

Salt water gave Emma’s eyes a pink telltale tinge and her voice stuck slightly as she smiled wryly. “I couldn’t believe it. It was everything I’d ever wanted, to have a home, a family. We hugged. I’d never felt so happy before.” Emma shrugged slightly, her shoulder bumping against Regina’s as she turned to look at her. “Then a few days later at night on our way home she pulled me into the middle of the road to face an oncoming car because she thought that if I felt in danger, I’d use magic to save myself.” Emma laughed, then she sighed. “I ran away, and thought she was crazy. It made sense to me in a twisted way, that the only person who wanted me was a lunatic. Then I met her in Storybrooke, in a damn ice cream shop, and she hadn’t aged one bit.”

Emma folded her arms across her chest and held onto the fabric of her shirt as she turned to face Regina. “You know the rest. She stole my memories, and I got them back years later. After I knew about magic. Moments before she got sucked up into her own magical vortex to save the town she’d just jeopardized, and I remember feeling like my whole world was being ripped apart at the seams all over again. I couldn’t explain it to anyone, because she wasn’t my mother, she wasn’t a friend, but when I remembered it all, I remembered that I’d loved her. How do you mourn for the life you could have had, or the woman who had always known who you were, and acknowledged you were different but still wanted you? Yeah, the way she went about things was messed up, and she stole my memories, but someone had stolen hers, and she became who she was because of that. She didn’t hate her sister for it, she was just grateful for getting to know the truth. It freed her, as much as not knowing inevitably killed her.”

Silent tears dripped from Emma’s lashes and slid down her cheeks, and though she grimaced and sniffed, she continued. “I never thought I’d feel like that again, and then all of this happened.” Emma motioned between them, then forced herself to take a deep breath. The purpose of sharing this wasn't to get angry, and though she felt raw, she wouldn't let herself ruin what she was trying to accomplish. Feeling more composed, she took Regina’s hands in her own, looked her dead in the eye, and stated softly, “Regina, you’re an idiot. For thinking I couldn’t handle it. For thinking I couldn’t stand by you. For thinking I’d ever feel differently about you. For doing the most damage to our relationship and taking parts of me you had no right to ever touch, but most of all, for thinking that you need to find a magical fix that’ll solve everything. We can’t go back to how it was anymore than we could go back to being who we first were when I got to town. That doesn’t mean we’re going to fall apart or divorce. It just means we choose to start over, together.”

Regina's throat clamped up at Emma’s statement. She cried without making a sound. Her whole body shook with the force of her emotion and her tears tumbled freely into the beaten dust at her feet. She pressed herself into Emma and stared at the Ferris wheel that was lit up; the shooting colors of the ride were like the dreadful, opening eye of a beast awakening in the darkness.

Emma squeezed Regina’s hands in her own and wet her lips nervously. This was it, this was the moment they had needed to get everything out without hurting one another. The air shifted around them and Emma could almost sense the change taking place between them. 

“I never wanted to lie,” Regina throatily admitted. “I should have trusted you, because you’ve always had my back no matter the circumstances. I want to wake up every morning at your side for the rest of our lives, and send stupid text messages to each other throughout the day. I want you to come to my office for lunch, when we both know that we’ll spend the hour otherwise indisposed. And I want to surprise you with the dinners you love, and plan holidays with you, even though I have the worst in-laws imaginable and they’re always invited.” She sniffled and nodded, but let the moment last until the noise of the fairgrounds became too much to ignore.

“Yeah.” Emma agreed as her arms wrapped around Regina. “You should have trusted me.” She got her wife’s gaze and held it, the corners of her mouth tugged upwards into a sad, yet hopeful smile. “But you’ve learned that lesson and won’t be repeating it.” It wasn’t a question so much as an acknowledgement. Emma could see the toll it had taken on Regina. The strong, brave woman might have been hard to see if anyone else were looking, but Emma still saw her, in her vulnerability and sadness, Regina was braver than the best of them. It wasn’t weak to admit how wrong you’d been, or to apologize for it, but Regina didn’t just say the words, she felt them. It was written all over her face. 

“We’ve screamed about it. We’ve talked about it. We’ve worked out why it happened.” Emma stroked her thumbs under Regina’s eyes to wipe away the tears, and used the sleeve of her shirt to dry her own face. “Now we just gotta learn to move on from it, because we’ve faced some pretty terrifying shit through the years and losing you, losing us - it tops the list.”

Emma squeezed Regina’s hand, then slipped her fingers between her wife’s as they walked together through the crowd. Bruised but not broken, they'd survive this and come out stronger together. Emma chose to believe it, and she'd tear anyone that dared say differently apart.


	16. Chapter 16

“Do I need to be worried about making a mess?” Henry asked casually as he leaned against the kitchen counter with his hip. His lanky frame almost matched his birth mother's, but the raised eyebrow and slight smirk was all Regina.

Emma surveyed the counter tops with the rest of the ingredients that had yet to be touched, then eyed her son with a calculating look. “Absolutely not.” She finally stated, then let out a deep breath. “You know what we’re doing, right kid?”

Henry rolled his eyes with all the sarcasm he could muster and sighed out, “Yeah mom, you only told me like thirty times when we went grocery shopping. French onion soup, roast beef, and those apple tarts you saw mom looking at on the Internet when you were snooping.”

Emma’s face scrunched up in offense as she spluttered, “I wasn’t snooping!” With a wince, she glanced towards the door. Her parents were floating around with Regina somewhere since it appeared to be tradition to show up early to dinner. 

“Yeah, so why were you sneaking around with your boots off?” Henry fired back with a mischievous grin, which turned somewhat bemused as he added, “And what was in that bag?”

If Emma hadn’t been so embarrassed at being caught in her plan to leave a certain _something_ around the house for Regina to find, she might have answered her son. Instead she turned her attention back to the counter and picked up a knife in an attempt to pointedly ignore his questioning. She was halfway through chopping her first onion when he shifted closer expectantly.

“Well?” Henry prompted, snagging the peeler to get started on the potatoes.

“Tampons.” Emma blurted, for no other reason than to get him off her back. It was a hell of a lot easier to explain than pregnancy tests.

After growing up in a household with two moms, Henry wasn’t the slightest bit intimidated by Emma’s lie. He waggled a brow and began to remove the skin from the golden potatoes. “Nice try,” he sniffed. “But if you want to keep a secret, that’s fine by me. I’ll just do some snooping of my own later.” With smug satisfaction, he continued with his clumsy peeling. 

“Hey if you want to play that game then go for it.” A sly smile tugged the corners of Emma’s lips upward as she turned to face her son. “I’m sure I’ll find a whole bunch of things in your room you wouldn’t want your mom knowing about. Imagine her face when I show her what you have inside that hollowed out text book you keep under your comics...”

It was by no means fair, but if Henry wasn’t going to let them have their own secrets, it meant his were up for grabs. Perhaps that would deter him for a few more weeks at least. Enough time for him to think of better hiding places. Still, Emma was confident enough in her own abilities that she’d find what he wanted to keep hidden regardless.

Their conversation was interrupted by Regina, who rushed into the kitchen, seized a bottle of Merlot, and rummaged through the drawer to find the corkscrew. “We need wine,” she explained. “Or rather, I need it.”

Mary Margaret appeared in the doorway. Her attention shifted from Regina to Emma, and she crept up to inspect the contents of the pots and pans that were arranged on the stovetop. “Oh, Emma, this looks lovely. But don’t forget to put on an apron, and Henry – let me show you how to properly peel a potato…”

Mary Margaret took the potato before Henry could offer up any resistance, but he managed to get it back again to demonstrate that he knew how to do it.

Regina filled her glass to the brim, and as an after thought poured two glasses for David and Mary Margaret. “Your mother is trying to convince me to join her book club,” she snorted under her breath. “The stories she reads are even more disgusting and happy than her own…” 

“That isn’t true,” Mary Margaret protested with her hand on her hip. “The stories we read are uplifting, and why shouldn’t they be? Right now we’re actually reading a self-help book. I brought you an extra copy.”

“Hey, we don’t need self help books.” Emma gently reminded her mother, then nodded to Henry in appreciation as the kid ushered Snow out of kitchen.

“Grams,” Henry sighed in frustration. “It’s your night off. Go hang out in the living room and we’ll come find you when everything’s ready.” He gave his grandmother a gentle push towards the door.

Regina grudgingly left the kitchen with Mary Margaret, if only to take the pressure off of Emma. 

“Be honest...” Emma whispered softly, cautiously glancing towards the door to ensure she wouldn’t be overheard, “Do I do stuff like that that drives you nuts?” Even after six years of being in his life, there was still a niggling panic in the back of Emma’s mind that she wasn’t raising Henry the best way she could, that she’d do something wrong or drive him away. Irrational though it may be.

Henry tossed a handful of diced potatoes into the pan with the roast beef. “All of the time,” he huffed sarcastically. “But maybe I’ll change my answer if you tell me what you were hiding from mom earlier.”

He moved by Emma and reached for ingredients on a top shelf, then swung a dishtowel over his shoulder. “For the record, I re-arranged my bedroom after you found my last two hiding spots. I’ve gotten much smarter about where I keep the candy stash and other contraband. You can’t blackmail me.”

Victoriously, he spooned up a mouthful of the dessert filling they’d use in the apple tarts.

If Emma had been expecting any other answer, it never showed on her face. With a roll of her green eyes, Emma snagged the dishcloth off Henry’s shoulder and lightly whipped it at his arm in retaliation.

“You eat any more of that and I’ll need to make another batch.” The tone, while playful, didn’t match with Emma’s eyes, which conveyed the worry over having to start over again. It was bad enough that this had been her idea, but to end up falling short on top of it all would just be the kind of icing on the cake that she was sure everyone would relish. After all, nobody, not even Henry, ever seemed enthusiastic to eat what she prepared.

A little while later, Regina peeked back into the kitchen and snuck inside to sit at the table. “Your mother thinks I’ve gone to the bathroom, but I’m going to hide out in here for a little while,” she confessed. “After all of these years, I’m afraid she’s defeated with me with talk of romance novels, recipes, and her hideous taste in home décor.”

Emma shared a look with her son as the former evil queen skulked into her own kitchen like an animal seeking shelter. Had she not been trying to concentrate on the damn onion soup, she would have laughed. Even at the risk of catching a fireball to the face. “You ever stop to think she’s not trying to defeat you, that she genuinely cares what you think, snark and all?” It was out of Emma’s mouth before she could stop herself, and her stunned silence lasted about three seconds before she shrugged and glanced at her wife. “Look, as much as you like to pretend how much you hate these family dinners, you don’t, and whether either of you want to admit it, you love each other.”

Regina rolled her eyes and as usual, clung to denial.

Emma smirked to herself as she skimmed the recipe for soup, but she was so caught up in her observations that she failed to notice she mixed up the quantities of flour and sugar, and so it was with a smile that she stirred in a tablespoon of sugar and merely a teaspoon of flour before adding the stock to the mix. “So, get back out there, tell her what you think of her cardigan, how you hate all her ideas, and let her criticize your fashion because even in Storybrooke you walk the line of dangerously sexy.”

Pausing once she felt satisfied in her stirring of the soup, Emma left it to simmer and quirked an eyebrow at Regina. “In other words Madam Mayor, suck it up, and go spend some time with our family.”

Regina winced vulnerably, but she put on a show of petulantly straightening up her shoulders and glowering for Henry’s benefit. “Are you sure you don’t require supervision?” she teased.

Sidling up to Emma, she cast scrutiny on the pot and leaned into her wife’s personal space, resting a hand gently on Emma's hip. If they didn't have company, she would have kissed Emma until all of the food burned. She'd woken up with an irresistible urge in the pit of her belly, but her mood passed quickly. The heat and the strong reek of onion made her face turn a pale shade of green and she hastily stepped back. “Nevermind,” she groused. “Carry on with what you’re doing. It seems like you’re quite capable…”

All evidence was to the contrary, but Regina’s sense of smell had grown acutely sensitive. Her breathing became shallow as she rushed into the living room, and away from the inconvenient reminder that she might be pregnant. Undeniable signs were beginning to present themselves, but she did her best to crush each suspicion and to ignore every discomfort.

In her distraction, Regina sped face-forward into Mary Margaret, who succeeded only in flailing stupidly instead of backing up. Regina glared reproachfully at Mary Margaret as the younger woman held onto her. 

“You need to learn to slow down,” Mary Margaret chided, but in that soft voice that always calmed Regina, much to her mortification.

Mary Margaret only smiled and stroked Regina’s arm tenderly until the former evil queen pulled away, unable to withstand the coddling.

“David is watching the game,” Mary Margaret noted. “I thought we could sit in your study and talk.”

“Whatever you prefer.” If it would make Emma happy, Regina would spend the afternoon with her mother. She owed it to Emma to restore all of the relationships she’d systematically destroyed, and in some perverse way she missed Snow’s company.

Regina followed Snow into the study, where a fire crackled and she noticed her throw blanket had been neatly arranged. She settled down on the leather sofa and let her eyes slip closed for a moment, completely unaware that Mary Margaret had shut the door. 

Mary Margaret sat down next to her, and Regina opened one eye to look at her.

“I’ve been looking forward to catching up with you,” Mary Margaret beamed. “Is there anything on your mind that you want to tell me about?”

“What?” Regina snapped out in surprise, although a brilliant thought occurred to her and she smiled in turn at her own cunning. “Actually, yes – there is. Emma and Henry were whispering about something in the kitchen earlier. I think they’re planning a surprise for us tonight.”

Mary Margaret’s face lit up, because she still loved secrets and surprises, even after all the trouble they caused. “I wonder what it is,” she considered. “I’m going to figure it out.”

“You go right ahead,” Regina encouraged. She yawned and allowed her head to loll back on the sofa. If Mary Margaret was preoccupied with meddling, Regina might be able to spend the afternoon resting. “Let me know what you uncover.”

Mary Margaret paced in front of the fireplace while Regina browsed through a catalogue and then dozed off unexpectedly.

Frowning, Mary Margaret covered Regina with the soft throw, and then plopped down to flip through Regina’s magazines. It didn’t last long. Bored of entertaining herself, Mary Margaret decided to snoop around by Regina’s desk. Most of the time she behaved like any over-involved mother-in-law, but some days she behaved like a child in Regina’s presence, especially in the moments they were alone together. 

With care not to awaken the slumbering woman, Mary Margaret eased herself into the leather chair behind the desk and pulled open the top drawer slowly. The contents were what she expected--a multitude of pens, paper clips, and notebooks. The second drawer contained a surprising stash of expensive chocolate, but when she opened the box to shake out a foiled square, all that landed in her palm was a pen.

No. Not a pen. With its plastic design and little blank face, Mary Margaret’s mouth dropped open when realization struck her like the lash of a whip. A high pitched noise clawed its way up her throat in surprise, but she stifled it just in time by biting her lips. A pregnancy test! Why the hell was it in there? Unless...

“Oh, Emma…” Mary Margaret breathed out, amused and surprised by her daughter's antics. Quickly, she slotted it back inside the box and shut the drawer quietly.

The urge to snoop further itched under her skin, but Mary Margaret couldn’t risk it, especially now that she knew her daughter shared her own suspicions. Of course she couldn’t just go to Emma, but she could tell David. They shared a heart; it was only fair they share everything else. Still, it was probably best to wait until they were home before blurting out the news. She joined him on the couch to watch the end of the game. Everything was fine until Regina emerged from the study with scruffy hair and slumped into a nearby chair.

Mary Margaret did a double take when she saw Regina, but beamed with happiness at the woman’s disgruntled appearance. “Did you sleep well?” she grinned. “Dinner is almost ready. You must be starving.”

“I’m not hungry,” Regina flippantly insisted. “But I suppose we’ll all have to eat second helpings, since Emma and Henry went to so much trouble. We’d better head into the dining room. Henry told me they’re ready.”

In the kitchen, Henry glanced back at Emma and flared his nostrils in growing impatience. 

“Wait, wait, you’re forgetting the spoons!” The warning was shrill as Emma felt panic rushing through her veins and fueling her forward. Henry stood with a tray holding four bowls of steaming soup, each topped with toasted bread and melty, gooey cheese. His look was that of every teenager entirely fed up with his parent’s fussing. 

“You could have just brought them in when you sit down with yours,” He remarked, his tone dry as he eyed his biological mother.

“I’ll have mine in a minute.” Emma lied, wiping down the countertops with a wet rag that she then used to wipe her sweaty forehead. “You washed the baby carrots, right?”

Henry rolled his eyes and walked out of the kitchen. Honestly, he didn’t understand what the big deal was, or why Emma was trying so hard. Then again, as he forced a smile onto his face and entered the dining room to see the three skeptical faces blinking back at him, he suddenly got it. “Soup is ready.” He grinned, hoping that his enthusiasm would rub off on his family.

David was the first to comment as Henry slid a bowl under his nose. “Hey, this looks delicious.” And why wouldn’t it? This was a man used to morning coffee garnished with bird feathers.

“Where’s Emma?” Chimed in Mary Margaret, her eyes twinkling as she grinned brightly. Her happiness had more to do with her little secret and less to do with the first course of the meal.

“She’s uh, just checking things in the oven, then she’ll be here.” It wasn’t that Henry felt he couldn’t lie -- it was just that he doubted Emma would be in any time soon. Hell, she probably hadn’t realized he even left.

It was true. In the kitchen, Emma had been mid sentence when she noticed Henry was gone, and she frantically tried to scrub the vegetables while she stirred the gravy. Not as easy as she’d imagined with no help. Especially when she tried to pull the roast from the oven with one gloved hand, and promptly burned the other by grabbing the meat before it slid out the tin when she tipped it sideways to get all the juices into the pot of gravy. Two roast potatoes made a break for it, but had she not accidentally stepped on one, and slid into the fridge at an alarming speed, she’d never have known.

“What the hell?” She groaned, managing to push the tin with the roast beef and potatoes onto the counter before she kicked off her boots with a frown.

Shit, she’d need to clean that up, but that would have to wait or the gravy would burn. Leaving the meat to rest, she hobbled back to the oven and stirred the thickening liquid with vigor while reaching blindly for the scrubbed baby carrots and washed asparagus. She stuck them in the pot of salted boiling water, along with a dishrag she’d left nearby and the knife she’d used to cut the apples up. It was by chance when she went to stir them that she saw her error, and disgusted, used the tongs to scoop the rag and the knife out before anyone walked in and saw them simmering away.

From the dining room she heard her mother calling out to her and cringed. “Emma, are you _coming_?”

“Not for months if Regina saw that,” She muttered under her breath, then yelled back, “I’ll be just a minute!”

Fortunately for Emma, Regina’s attention was directed elsewhere, at the bowl of soup that Henry put down in front of her. The smells that previously turned her stomach were now causing it to growl in hunger, and Regina stabbed at the gooey, cheese-covered bread with her spoon. With a soft purr of enjoyment, she ate through the crust and tried the soup underneath. The flavor made her cough and her eyes water, but she took another mouthful just to be sure it was inedible.

Mary Margaret tucked into the soup immediately, but after tasting it, moved her dish in front of David. “Please do this,” she whispered under her breath. “For our daughter.”

David put his napkin in his lap and froze up at Mary Margaret’s request, but he nodded grimly and began to eat his double portion of soup as if it was a heroic deed.

Regina’s lips pursed in contempt, but she forced herself to eat Emma’s strange soup.

Henry dragged his feet on the way back to the kitchen, but he rolled up his shirtsleeves when he spotted Emma. He tried to arrange the food on the silver platter that his moms once used for every holiday. “Just stay calm,” he cautioned. “You don’t want everyone to see you like this, do you? Everything looks great. Mary Margaret and David are really having a great time, and mom just said she’s never tasted a better soup. She finished the whole bowl.” He hoped Emma wouldn’t find out the truth of his white lies, but he sensed she needed reassurance. “Let’s just go sit down with our family and eat. We’ll come back and work on the dessert afterwards.”

Henry’s quiet encouragement gave Emma pause in her frantic arrangement of food onto one large tray, but then again, so did her reflection in the kitchen window. Her face was ruddy, her eyes looked wild and her hair, Christ -- it looked like she’d been dragged through a hedge backwards. “Yeah.” Emma muttered quietly, though it took her a minute to turn and face her son. “You grab the tray with the bowls of vegetables and I’ll bring in the roast, okay?”

Henry hesitated, and Emma wet her lips anxiously, but he gave a nod and plodded over to lift up the tray and vanished without another word. The second he was gone, Emma used magic to straighten out her appearance, and took an extra five seconds just to breathe. Why the hell had she ever thought this was a good idea? What was it? A way to showcase that she was at least trying to forgive Regina and move on? A way to prove to her parents that their marriage was on the mend without swapping the specific details of what had derailed it further? A chance to prove that she could be just as domestic and homey as the rest of them?

Whatever the reason, Emma didn’t have time to go over it in her head. With one last deep breath, she snagged up the carving knife, then clutched the tray of roast beef in her hands and walked into the dining room with a bright smile. “I hope everyone’s hungry because there’s a lot to go around.”

It would have been all too easy for Regina to improve the quality of the meal with a simple wave of her hand when Emma’s back was turned, but she would no longer use magic to deceive her wife. She squeezed Emma’s thigh as she sat down beside her, and then crinkled her nose in that telltale way that warned of mischief. “It looks delicious,” she smiled, and toyed with one earring as she sipped from a glass of apple juice. “Allow me to do the honors?”

Regina gestured for Emma to give her the knife, and began to carve the roast; her performance with a sharp blade was a somewhat menacing sight to behold, and she hoped that would encourage everyone to clean their plates. She gave Henry a quick nod, silently ensuring he’d follow along with her lead.

Henry sank down in his chair and started to heap big portions of vegetables on everyone’s plates, but he was more apologetic about it than his mother. 

The vegetables had at least been prepared correctly, and no one uttered a complaint as they began eating.

“The soup was delicious,” David said. He had singlehandedly disposed of the soup, so he figured he should be the one to compliment it. “Thank you for inviting us to dinner.”

David’s comment evoked a bright, though suspicious grin from Emma who immediately looked around the table at everyone’s expressions. “Thanks.” She shrugged slightly and shifted her chair closer to scoop up some roast potatoes and settle them on her plate.

Mary Margaret nodded along, although she couldn’t look her daughter in the eye and pretended it took all of her concentration to cut up her meat. “So, what’s new?” she asked. She carefully jabbed at the beef on her plate, while she tried to think of a tactful way to mention her second grand child. “It’s been a while since we had dinner together.” 

Emma had just finished pouring a liberal amount of gravy over everything on her plate when she heard Mary Margaret, and looked across with a bewildered expression. “Uh, not much. It hasn’t been that long, has it?” Emma’s face scrunched up in bemusement while her gaze flicked to Henry. “I mean, we had dinner just the other week with you guys.” She glanced sideways towards Regina, “Right?”

Mary Margaret frowned around a mouthful of roast beef and blinked rapidly to evade Emma’s questioning stare.

Regina narrowed her eyes, taking in every fidget and nervous behavior that indicated Mary Margaret had a big secret she was struggling to keep. “Indeed,” she drawled. “Is there something on your mind that you wanted to discuss with us?”

Mary Margaret gripped at her linen napkin and shook her head. “I’m just really happy for the two of you,” she sighed out. “It seems like you’re in a better place and everything is going back to the way it used to be.”

Regina took a quiet, hitching breath and gaped across the table at her family. She looked at each of them individually – the loving faces of the people who refused to abandon her after she cruelly berated them for months. “I’m sorry,” she whispered with an expressive squint of her eyes. Hunching in her seat, she stared down at her plate and considered the ruined trust between all of them. She’d spent a long time thinking about how everyone in town would react if they found out what she did to Emma and their child. Would Snow and David still come to family dinners if they knew? Would they even be able to look at her? Her shame and self-hatred made her fingers tremble, and she trapped her hands under her legs. “We are doing better than we were,” she agreed. “But I can never be forgiven for what I’ve done to all of you, and least of all for what I did to Emma. I don’t want to be forgiven for it--”

Everyone stared at her as she lifted her glass of red wine and held it against her lips. She skittishly glanced around and then watched Emma.

Mary Margaret wore a severe frown that brought out the wrinkles on her forehead. She appeared confused, and shifted uneasily in her chair. “We’re your family and we’ll stand by you no matter what,” she murmured passionately.

Henry touched the top of his mom’s shoulder and David reached out to pat Regina’s hand. She shrank from their loyalty and tenderness like a creature that recoiled from direct sunlight.

“I thought tonight should be a celebration,” Mary Margaret wistfully told them. She glimpsed the clear signs of Emma’s distress and focused back on her meal. “Your cooking has really come a long way, Emma. Did you use a recipe for the soup?”

The muscles along Emma’s back stiffened. Though her head refused to move, her eyes still found Regina. Every time she thought things might actually get better, something else happened and threw her off. Where the hell had that all come from? Earlier they’d almost joked in the kitchen and now… How could she respond to that? With a shake of her head, Emma allowed Mary Margaret to diffuse the situation and grimaced at the notion of a celebration.

Why was it that when she tried to host a dinner for the family it all turned into a train wreck? “I figured following a recipe would work out better than simply winging it.” Emma mumbled with a roll of her eyes. “Thank you for uh, enjoying it.” Were they even enjoying it? 

Emma’s gaze turned to her son and as if sensing her desperation for moral support, he smiled and turned towards David. 

“Hey Gramps,” Henry smirked, “when are you taking me to the woods to learn to hunt. Is it this weekend?” If anything would pull his mother out of her own head, and get everyone engaged, it would be that.

Sneaky bastard, Emma thought with a nostalgic smile as Regina’s eyes widened and Snow choked on her food.

David’s mouth twisted at the corners like a washcloth being wrung, “Hold on a minute.” He stated, as if preparing himself.

“This’ll be good.” Henry muttered covertly to Emma.

Emma flashed a lopsided grin towards her son and nodded in return, “Oh yeah.” she whispered.

“David has the hunting skill of Elmer Fudd,” Regina snapped, furious that this was up for discussion again. “All that he’s lacking is the stupid hat. Besides, I put a ban on hunting in our woods after the Merry Men critically wounded a pair of deer that are actually citizens.”

“I agree with Regina,” Mary Margaret hastened to add, and glanced over at her husband. “Why don’t you teach Henry about car upkeep? He’ll be driving soon.”

“Yeah right,” Henry snorted and poked his fork into his baked potato. “If mom gets her way, I’ll be driving a horse-drawn carriage to school until I move for college.”

“Carriages can be just as dangerous as cars,” Regina stated, as if the thought had crossed her mind once or twice. “Besides, you can’t drive until you get your learner’s permit.”

“About that,” Henry smirked and pulled his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans. He then whipped out his driver’s permit, and held it under his mothers’ noses while they checked out the tiny card. “I took matters into my own hands.”

As the conversation went back and forth between everyone except her, Emma relaxed and sat back to watch the chaos with a content smile. Now this she could handle. Normal bickering the way she was used to it. Nothing serious, nothing depressing, just a bunch of adults acting like children. It was on her mind to slip Henry a couple of bucks after the dinner was over.

Emma choked back a laugh when Henry brandished his card, more so because she could see just how damn smug he was in the face of Regina, and her throbbing forehead vein. “Okay kid, I’ll teach you twice a week after dinner when your chores are done.”

Henry’s face lit up but he schooled it into a mask of ambivalence to ask, “Seriously?”

“Sure kid, why not? You have the permit, I’m the Sheriff, and let’s face it, having you on the road isn’t nearly as bad as half the things that have happened in this town.” Emma shrugged easily and stretched her feet out under the table. “Probably safer you learn to drive anyway.”

Regina appeared to be relieved by Emma’s offer to teach Henry, though it was hard for her to accept their son’s independence. “I suppose it would be wise for you to begin practicing,” she conceded. 

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” David laughed, and rubbed at the stubble on his chin. “Because I was the one who took Henry to get his permit.”

Regina took David’s confession in stride, but for the rest of the evening, she enacted her silent revenge by serving him the least delectable helpings of Emma’s home cooking. He didn’t seem to notice.

“I’m not even surprised.” Emma laughed, and took in the sight of her son happy in his element at the center of attention. It made her realize how important family was to them both, and how in some ways she and Henry were so alike. Especially when it came to scheming to get what they wanted. Then again, that was a trait Regina cultivated in him -- after all, she’d raised him for ten years and he'd been smart enough to steal credit cards and find his way to Emma's front door.

In a moment of appreciation, Emma directed her gaze to Regina and waited for the woman to realize. When their eyes met, Emma smiled, and nodded towards their son. They might still fuck up their own relationship, but at least they got one thing right.

As the evening dwindled and plates were being shoved aside with the heavy sighs of full bellies, Emma excused herself from the table and took the dishes with her. It wasn’t often that she got to enjoy the fact that people ate what she’d cooked, and despite the topics bouncing around, and Regina and Mary Margaret’s penchant for blurting the weirdest of things, the evening had gone better than she’d first expected.

Quietly humming, Emma scraped off the plates and dropped them haphazardly into a basin of hot soapy water while she rummaged for a sponge.

After seeing David and Mary Margaret out to their car, and giving Henry some money to see a movie with his friends, Regina joined Emma in the kitchen. “I thought I would keep you company,” she mused, and twitched her lips into a tiny smile. She slid her hand over a platter of cookies that had been left on the counter and selected one to nibble while Emma worked.

With heat in her gaze, Regina licked her lips and brushed back a few stray strands of her hair. She stood a distance away and placed her hand on Emma’s chest, but then closed the short gap between them and kissed her wife on the mouth. “You were right,” she intoned. “I did miss this. Evenings like this.”

Even in the worst of times Regina had the ability to make Emma’s knees weak and speed up her pulse. The kiss was unexpected, but so was the way Emma reciprocated, hands falling to Regina’s waist, pulling her flush against herself, her tongue slipping past her wife’s plump red lips to taste the faint remains of chocolate from the cookie Regina had so thoroughly just enjoyed.

“Having a family dinner was a nice idea,” Regina whispered. 

Emma felt delirious and just a little light headed. “It was?” she murmured distractedly, then shook her head to re-focus herself, “I mean thanks, I was hoping it would go well.”

“Yes, but how about a little time alone, now that everyone’s gone?” Regina purred. 

“Really?” Emma husked, before realizing she was getting caught up in the moment. In Regina. 

Christ, when had her hand moved to the woman’s backside? Emma untangled herself from her wife just enough to breathe, to come up with an excuse to step back. Emma cracked a slight grin and motioned behind Regina. “There’s a pie in the oven. Better check on it, or it’ll burn.”

"Allow me." Regina flexed her fingers and slipped her hand into a protective mitt, then bent down to remove the pie from the oven. She moved around Emma, depositing the hot pie onto a silver rack. Like the pie, she needed to cool and the brief distraction cleared her head of the urge to unzip Emma’s pants.

Leaning over the counter, Regina studied the unused dessert plates and forks until her rapidly beating heart began to slow. She walked across the room to put the dishes away. But on her return, she abruptly shut the kitchen door and backed Emma towards the cabinet. She gasped at how fully her desire engulfed her, and how little she could do to ignore it. “I need you,” she softly growled. “Please, Emma.” 

The way the brunette stalked towards her, eyes dark with lust, and lips parted just enough to be considered predatory, left Emma with no doubt that she would cave. She knew she should be asking what had gotten into Regina, but by the time the thought fully formed, Regina was already getting inside of her.

Regina softly nuzzled the underside of Emma’s chin and grazed her wife’s skin with teeth and tongue, biting and sucking and imperiously leaving her mark. Her fingertip traced the jagged zipper on Emma’s pants and then she undid them with a quick flick of her wrist. Emma’s warm pussy lips parted so easily for her, and Regina took advantage of the arousal to push gently within. "I was thinking of doing this to you earlier when I came to check on you." 

A low, guttural moan clawed its way up Emma's throat to drip from her lips breathlessly. The warm, wet attention to her neck was nothing short of divine, but it was the sharp bite and almost vicious sucking of her skin that left her clutching Regina’s hips to steady herself. Her fingers slipped under the hem of Regina's shirt to grip, short nails scraping unintentionally against warm olive skin.

Emma’s eyes rolled back while her head fell forward with a stuttered gasp of, “Regina” as the woman's questing fingers slid so effortlessly inside her slick hole. Was it shock or arousal that had her so complacent? Later, Emma would wonder about it, but right now she didn’t give a fuck. All that mattered was the way Regina curled her fingers, the feel of her hungry mouth on her skin, insistent and greedy.

Regina was intoxicated by the scent of her wife, and drove her fingers in deep, feeling the slippery muscle inside of Emma pulsate and throb with each complete stroke. She stared at Emma the whole time, keeping the woman pinned with her consuming looks as much as her body. Her mouth opened and closed with Emma’s, and she stood tightly strung and straining for her wife’s pleasure.

Each time Emma’s hips bucked into her, Regina rocked faster until she could hear the quiet thump of her wife’s backside hitting the cabinet. She squeezed Emma’s ass with her hand and left white lines of force in her wake. “Let me fuck you harder,” she rumbled.

The soft sounds of Emma’s sopping pussy brought a darkly victorious grin to Regina’s lips. She held onto Emma as if staking ownership. “We belong to each other,” she husked. “Completely. I love you. I want to be the tremor in your body that shakes you, and the fire in your blood that makes you sweat…”

They shared every warm breath that Emma’s lungs forced out of her mouth; their lips so close to touching yet torturously out of reach. Regina’s eyes were ravenous, and if Emma were honest, she felt devoured in ways she’d forgotten were possible. Her jaw gave way to spasm, and she lost control of the way her mouth gaped with each spike of pleasure Regina stroked out of her.

It was kind of crazy, how the rest of the world faded away to leave her with only Regina in this moment. The wet sounds of her wife’s fingers plunging into her grasping slick body could only be described as obscene and yet Emma loved it. The noise of her undeniable arousal, the demanding thrusts as Regina took what was hers, and Emma's grasping needy muscles clenching uncontrollably. “More,” Emma suddenly growled. “Harder.” She rasped in agreement, her hips rocking faster with unabashed desire.

Everything Emma hadn’t been expecting from Regina was overtaking her. If anyone asked her to explain it, Emma wouldn’t have known how. 

Maybe her body had just been longing for the intimacy. Maybe she just craved to be wanted so thoroughly. Maybe she’d finally lost her damn mind and all her inhibitions with it. Whatever was going on, Emma Swan sank into it willingly, and every word from Regina’s mouth pulled her down further. A throaty rumble was all the warning she gave as her hands went to her wife’s shirt and ripped the fabric open. Buttons popped and scattered while Emma husked breathlessly, “I love you too.” Then her mouth was on warm olive skin, leaving wet kisses between slightly rough bites that she soothed with her tongue straight after. “Don’t stop talking.” It wasn’t a request so much as a lust filled command. Emma’s hands raked down Regina’s back to grab the woman’s backside with both hands, forcing her closer as if she couldn’t breathe without feeling her wife’s body pressed against her.

Regina shoved Emma into the counter top and ground her palm against the apex between her wife’s legs, even as she urged Emma into a sitting position. “But I must,” she groaned. “Because I am going to devour you.” She pushed apart Emma’s thighs and then bent down to brush her lips over Emma’s sex, exposing the twitching, prominent little pleasure point. Her mouth puckered around the tiny peak, and her tongue swept back and forth as her eyes rolled back in her head.

Regina guided Emma’s bucking hips against her face, and left soft kisses over Emma’s gripping, empty entrance before filling her wife up again with two crooked fingers. Her lips soothed the receptive hole and then returned to the bundle of nerves above it, flicking it with ever increasing speed. She put all of her passion and pent up fear into a hungry display of what she wanted from Emma.

She thrust her smooth tongue into Emma’s pussy and pushed it against the inner spot that most needed her touch. “Good,” she husked. “You are so good, aren’t you, Emma?” As Emma rode her face, Regina whispered her praises into Emma's warm core. “You are just perfect like this, when you give yourself to me, and so openly take in return.”

Time felt suspended as Emma tried to focus on what her wife was saying. Jeans hung limply around her ankles and her thighs parted expectantly to show her need. The cool air of the room only emphasized the pooling heat that coated her swollen lips and the second Regina’s mouth found her again, Emma’s head smacked lightly into the cabinet. There was no pain--only intense, unrelenting pleasure that made her hips buck and her hands curl against the counter top. An animalistic, breathy, groan escaped Emma, as she was lost entirely to the moment.

There was no hope in hell of being able to control herself, fuck, she could barely make her eyes open let alone focus. Regina’s fingers caressed her slick, warm muscles until she couldn’t remember what life without this had been like. Regina’s plump, puckered lips were everything she craved -- their soft embrace around her throbbing bundle of nerves almost evoked a sob from Emma. 

“Please…” Emma gasped, her hands finding Regina’s dark tresses to tangle fully in. Gripping tightly to pull her wife closer in desperation, to keep Regina’s mouth exactly where she needed it while her hips rocked of their own accord. “Please…” Heat flooded her veins, her muscles tensed exquisitely, and her breaths became labored. Emma strained to achieve the highest peak of pleasure she possibly could. “Please…” She was begging for release. For love. For their marriage to work. For the life she wanted. For the home she’d almost lost. “Please, please…” Emma whimpered, her chest heaving, her body almost convulsing; she was right there on the edge, she just needed a little more...

Regina’s devoted tongue swept over Emma as if in answer to every broken plea. She wanted to bring Emma relief, and simultaneously to prolong that gratifying torture. Cruelly, she decided to hold back, and roll her tongue in a half spiral, without touching the swollen peak that she craved. Her mouth negotiated with Emma’s body, and when her lips locked fully around that budding flesh, she was surrendering as much as she was taking control. She felt warm pleasure drip down Emma's thighs, and shared in her wife’s intoxicating relief, as the throes of fulfilled desire shook them both together.

Emma’s fingers curled and gripped Regina’s dark hair involuntarily, holding her wife to anchor herself while she trembled and shuddered. The release felt spiritual and all consuming. Every thought, every worry, every fear, dissolved and left her feeling boneless. Emma’s cry was throaty, raw, and uninhibited. Several ecstatic seconds of pure bliss washed through Emma and brought with it a sense of peace she’d been quietly longing for.

With her head nestled in Emma’s lap, Regina folded her legs under her and breathed. She held onto Emma and listened to Emma's rapid panting, and the silence of the kitchen that suddenly seemed too quiet without the rush of blood in her ears. “Emma?” she whispered. “We - ” She gulped, and sought Emma’s gaze, then reached to take her wife’s hands. “I mean… I’m - ”

“Huh?” Emma felt delightfully out of it as she blinked her wife slowly into focus. Her limbs felt heavy and unwilling to move. Every muscle felt relaxed and she tingled so deliciously. Even without Regina’s touch, Emma could still feel the throbbing pulse of her dying arousal like a second heartbeat. “Mmh.” Emma sighed softly, hearing the words but not quite registering them as she reached out to smooth down Regina’s tangled, messy hair. Red lipstick was smeared across her wife’s lips and Emma wanted more than anything to kiss the rest of it off.

When Regina stood up, Emma leaned forward and kissed her. Relishing the taste of herself and the intimacy of it all.

"I'm--" Regina murmured quietly against Emma's lips. The word pregnant resounded loudly in her mind, but she breathed out: "I'm going to take a shower. Join me?"


	17. Chapter 17

Despite having fallen asleep with her back to Regina, Emma awoke in the most rewarding of positions. Sunlight spilled across her face as she blinked the room into focus, and the warmth she felt wasn’t just from the blankets. Sometime during the night, Emma had wound up half on top of Regina. Well, two thirds really, given that her cheek was pressed snugly against her wife’s breast and her hand cupped the other. Which wasn’t so bad, considering her thigh was pressed between Regina’s thighs. Emma knew she should move, but she could feel how warm Regina was against her bare thigh, how squeezably soft her breast was under the silky feel of her nightgown, and she didn’t want to give that up.

Emma gave into her urges and nuzzled against her wife’s breast. “Regina?” She muttered, her palm caressing against the black fabric that concealed her wife. It had been a while since she’d woken up feeling like this, and she blamed yesterday for it. For letting Regina touch her like that. No. For needing Regina to touch her, as much as she didn’t want to admit it. Now here she was, gently rocking her hips against Regina’s thigh. “Regina, are you awake?” Emma whispered softly, ashamed by how wanton she was feeling yet unable to stop herself. Her lips pressed soft butterfly kisses along Regina’s jaw and up to her ear so she could murmur, “Please wake up…” 

Regina flinched awake and rumpled her brow in displeasure at the daylight. She squinted down at Emma, and the hand that was firmly grasping her breast no more delicately than if it was a water balloon. “Emma,” she gasped, her voice low and thick as honey. “What are you doing?”

Judging by the slippery arousal that coated the inside of her panties, she suspected Emma had been sleepily grinding into her for a while. “That feels--good,” she throatily admitted, and instantly regretted her honesty. 

Awkwardly, Regina withdrew from Emma and raked her fingers through her hair. “I need to shower,” she abruptly announced; the scent of sex still clung to her skin, and she unwittingly wet her lips at the memory of licking Emma and her wife returning the favor. They had never made it into the shower. Once they were in their bedroom, Regina had gone to her closet to get her pajamas, and noticed a pregnancy test in plain sight. She had found a second pregnancy test in her make-up cabinet, and it didn’t take her long to realize that Emma hid the tests everywhere she might look. While Emma was finishing with the clean up downstairs, Regina had stashed all of the pregnancy tests she could find in Henry’s bathroom cabinet. It was clear she would have to deal with Emma’s suspicions eventually, but she wasn’t prepared to have that discussion yet. She knew that her body felt different, but she allowed herself to doubt her judgments, and dared to entertain the thought that she might not be pregnant, after all. When Emma came back to the bedroom, they had become entangled in one another, and Regina forgot about it, along with her plan to shower. She used sex to avoid the truth, and this morning she felt guilty about it.

“Did you want to come with me?” Regina asked Emma with a frown, and stepped away towards the bathroom. 

In all honesty, Emma wasn’t entirely sure why she felt so needy. It was foolish of course - the pout that she wore when Regina pulled back, and Emma stopped it immediately. What the hell had gotten into her? Emma didn’t like it one bit, and yet, even as she loathed it, she heard herself murmur, “We could save water and time if we shower together…” Emma sat up and stretched, but it was on the sultry side and her hand moved of its own accord to trail lazily down her front. “I could wash your back.”

Regina came to an uncertain stop and her mouth hung open as she sought a way to decline, but she heard herself mutter “okay.”

She undressed with her back turned to Emma and placed her nightgown on the hook in the bathroom. It took far longer than she expected for the shower to heat up, but when steam clung to the glass walls of the stall, she stepped inside and glanced sharply at Emma. When she caught Emma’s stare of longing, she knew they were in for trouble, but still made an effort to reach for her luffa and body wash. She soaped up her stomach and arms, but then bent for Emma’s benefit to scrub her legs. With her lips pursed coyly, she handed off her luffa to Emma and straightened up so Emma could make good on her promise.

Emma felt the tension between them thicken like the rapidly steam filled air. She stood behind Regina under the hot spray of water and watched her wife with building desire. The sight of Regina bent over took Emma’s breath away and her lips parted as her eyes devoured the view. It stirred something within her that she hadn’t been expecting. As Regina passed the luffa her way, Emma clutched it tightly, and slathered it in thick drops of soap before she used it thoroughly on Regina’s back. It was akin to a soapy massage. Emma’s touch was firm and slow as she washed her wife, and as her hand lowered to the small of Regina’s back, her hand stilled. Bubbles lazily ran down olive skin and her green eyes followed them as they gathered at the groove above the Regina’s ass cheeks. 

Emma dropped the luffa as she watched the soap reach places she wanted to touch, and before she could think to stop herself, her hands were on Regina’s backside. She indulged by grabbing handfuls of her wife to squeeze as she rumbled softly. The movement spread Regina just enough for Emma to witness the bubbles slither between her cheeks, and that was when her hand moved. Emma slipped her fingers along the curve of one cheek so that her thumb could scoop up the soap. Then she rubbed it slowly, gently, against the tight, puckered hole that was usually concealed from her.

Regina stilled at the unexpected touch, and she grabbed Emma by the wrist just as the smooth pad of Emma's finger began circling around the ring of contracting muscle. She held onto Emma’s hand, although her strong grip loosened as her wife continued to massage and relax the tense hole between her cheeks. Beads of moisture clung to every inch of her skin, and she shut her eyes as she stepped forward under the shower head to lean against the wall. She placed both of her palms on the tile and allowed Emma to explore her, although the sensation of being fondled so intimately brought on mixed emotions. In part, it repulsed her and made her anxious – but it also seemed like a new way to share herself with Emma, and her heart beat wildly as she wondered if her wife could make that act feel good. 

Blood rushed to her head and pounded temples as she abruptly spun around and nestled her face into Emma’s shoulder. She pulled Emma’s hand to a resting place on her hip and slowly down onto her backside, where she directed her wife’s index finger back to the supple hole between her cheeks. “Gentle,” she whispered, letting Emma’s forefinger push into her up to the first knuckle.

Arousal rushed through Emma like a drug; her face was flushed and her hair wet. Emma let out a low groan as her wife guided her hand back and coaxed the tip of her finger inside her with one instruction, and she nodded to let her know she understood. Fascinated, Emma watched Regina’s face as she ever so slightly pulled her finger out, letting the bubbles fall around her before she pushed back in carefully. The slippery liquid aided her nicely, and she dared to continue, millimeter by slow millimeter until she was up to her second knuckle. Emma held still then to let Regina get accustomed to the sensation of being filled there, and only moved the tip of her finger as if beckoning the to come closer. She wasn’t sure which of them gasped first, but she chose then to claim Regina’s lips with her own in a heated, passionate kiss, feeling Regina’s tight hole clench and twitch around her as she slipped her tongue into her wife’s mouth.

With a sensual flutter of her eyelashes, Regina met Emma’s gaze as she groaned into her wife’s lips. “Are you enjoying this?” she softly panted. Her body offered some resistance to Emma’s stroking finger, although the penetration became smoother from the consistent motion. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” 

Emma’s toned thigh pushed hard against her pussy, and Regina began to rock herself against it. Emma’s muscular arms wrapped around her then and lifted her from her feet; she was straddling Emma’s leg, and it felt so good to ride Emma that way. She rubbed her pussy against Emma’s slick, soapy leg and moaned as her wife’s finger boldly sank deeper into her bottom. 

“Yes…” Emma admitted somewhat coyly. She waited until she had a good hold of Regina’s waist, and knew her wife wouldn’t fall off her thigh as she braced herself so her wife could grind against her, before murmuring, “I’m thinking about how I’ve missed having sex in the shower and how much I want you to come.” It wasn’t exactly romantic, but it was honest. Emma made sure the act itself was tender. She wrapped her arm around Regina and shifted. Emma’s large hand cupped and gripped Regina's right ass cheek to steady her as Emma raised her thigh into her pussy and stroked her inside with her finger. “I’m thinking…” Emma breathed softly and met the dark, curious eyes of her wife, “I want to try this again, if you like it.”

Regina concentrated on grinding herself down against Emma’s leg until pinpricks of light shot through her vision and she felt herself squeeze tight around Emma’s finger. She continued to rock her pelvis to make the sensation last, but as soon as the exhilarating peak ended, she pressed her face into Emma’s neck and weakly held on. Her legs slid down Emma’s sides and wrapped around Emma, while her arms draped around her wife’s strong shoulders. 

Regina acknowledged to herself that she was still using sex as a way to avoid communicating with her wife. She likely never would have allowed this form of experimentation if she wasn’t so desperate to distract Emma and keep her happy. 

Brief flashes of her life as a powerless queen and a murderous tyrant came to mind, and she had the impulse to cling to Emma’s neck and punish the woman for her blind foolishness at the same time. 

Instead, Regina schooled her features into a mask of poise and self-control and muttered, “I would like that—with one condition. We’ll take it slow.” She fleetingly kissed Emma, and then stepped out of the shower stall to wrap herself up in a towel. Out of the two of them, she normally took much longer to dress—but today she simply patted her skin dry and put on a V-neck sweater with black trousers. “I’m going to make breakfast for Henry and head into work. Meet me at my office around noon and we’ll do lunch?”

Regina didn’t wait for Emma’s answer, or stop to take in the sight of her wife's baffled face. She went downstairs and into the kitchen, where Henry was already munching on sugarcoated cereal. “Good morning, Henry.” She smiled a bit too brightly, and wondered if he would think she was trying too hard or hiding something again. Her conflicting emotions were always so apparent on her face.

"Mom," Henry began, clearing his throat. "Why are there like 30 pregnancy tests in my bathroom closet?" He would have asked Emma, since she was always the more obvious culprit, but he was afraid that asking her would only result in another uncomfortable sex talk.

“Oh, so now you look in there?” Regina huffed. “You’ve never once gone into that closet to get yourself fresh towels or toilet paper.” She was perplexed by how both Emma and Henry waited for these necessities to appear. Instead of grabbing a clean towel, Emma had once stood dripping on the bathmat for ten minutes while her skin air-dried. 

“What are they doing there?” Henry asked, as impatient as he was curious. At first, he thought Emma had left the tests for him as a reminder that he needed to be cautious and responsible or risk following in her footsteps as a young parent. Then Henry thought back to how his moms were acting. The part of a quiet conversation he’d overheard between his grandparents the night before was starting to make sense. 

“It seems your mother wants me to confirm that I’m pregnant thirty times. I don’t think my bladder will cooperate with her demands.” If Regina was being truthful, her bladder probably was capable of meeting Emma’s demands as of late. “It’s possible that you’re going to be a big brother, Henry.” She softly exhaled, and her eyes shined with unshed tears as she confessed some of her worries aloud to her son with surprising ease. 

Henry gave her a dimpled grin and came over to wrap his arm around her in a half hug. “Really?” he asked. “That's awesome. We should give the kid a cool name. Like Batman. That’s not any weirder than Grumpy or Tinkerbell.” 

“We’ll see,” Regina murmured with a dark twinkle in her eye. Then her face became solemn as she stroked her fingers through his hair. “For now this is just between us, alright? I’m not ready to tell Emma.”

Henry hesitated, as if full of doubts over lying to Emma. His eyebrows twitched together, and he began to shake his head. “You have to tell her,” he firmly stated. “You’re not keeping secrets from each other anymore. Remember?”

“I’m not keeping a secret,” Regina gently argued. She continued to hold onto Henry, because her son was nearly a man and never allowed her to coddle him much anymore. “I just need to make an appointment with the doctor and find out for sure. Doesn’t that make sense? Besides, I want to surprise her.”

Ever the skeptic, Henry squinted warily at her, but it was a good sign that he didn’t pull back from her hug. “Fine,” he shrugged, and picked up the cordless phone for her. “Go ahead and call the doctor. I’ll stall Emma if she comes downstairs.”

Daunted by her son’s cleverness, Regina could only take the phone and step aside to call. She scheduled a check-up without explaining any of her symptoms, but Henry seemed pleased that she followed through.

Regina was still clutching the phone when Emma barreled into the kitchen. “What would you like for breakfast?” she asked. Her wandering gaze fell on Emma’s clumsily done up buttons and she hurried to fix the shirt to dispel the tension in the air. 

Emma stepped back from Regina and her fussing fingers. “I’ll grab a coffee on the way to work.” She murmured, eyebrows drawn together as she tried to figure out what was going on. One minute they’d been wrapped around one another, and the next Regina had barely looked at her before rushing to the kitchen. Perhaps due to her own neediness, Emma had felt brushed off. It was a peculiar sensation, feeling vulnerable without truly understanding why. She buttoned up her own shirt, and she tucked it back inside her pants. “Who was on the phone?” Emma nodded towards the device, then quirked a brow as mother and son exchanged a look.

“I had to arrange an afternoon meeting.” Regina’s face changed rapidly – the breezy, casual smile she offered Emma only lasted so long, and she cringed under her wife’s suspicious gaze. She returned the phone to its proper place on the counter and went to kiss Henry before he left. 

“Alright kid, come on, I’ll drive you to school.” Emma’s hand landed on her son’s shoulder with a gentle slap, and he took it as his cue to head towards the door. Emma eyed her wife curiously for a second then added, “I’ll see you at your office for lunch,” before heading out to the cruiser. She still had to pick up her car at the garage.

Regina waited until all was quiet, and then reached for the phone to cancel her appointment. As she was about to dial, she put the phone back where it belonged, then darted through the house and out into the front yard to catch Emma. She ran down the concrete steps, but Emma and her determination were already gone.  


In the car, Henry flipped on the radio and leaned back in his seat.

“So are you really going to let me drive?” he asked. His enthusiasm emitted from him like the songs bursting from the squad car speakers.

Emma flicked her gaze towards him as her hands steered the wheel. The car turned smoothly and Emma gripped the shift stick. “Yeah kid. At your age I was-” _stealing cars_ “driving. You think I want to be picking you up and dropping you off for the rest of your life?” It was easy to slip the subject into something teasing, not as heavy as grand theft auto. Then again, in a lot of ways, he was like her… “Listen, at your age I did a lot of things I’m not proud of, and yeah I kept the bug but-”

“Mom I’m not gonna steal a car.” Henry cut her off with a snort, a smirk on his lips as he shook his head. “Although…” He drew the word out coyly, but kept his gaze toward the window. “This town is getting in the habit of being in yearly chaos. I mean, look at last week.... Maybe you could--”

Emma’s hand tightened around the shift stick, knuckles turning white as she grew suspicious of what her son was getting at. “No.” She stated flatly, her jaw tensing once the word was bitten off.

“You haven’t even heard the rest of what I was going to say!” Exasperated, Henry turned in his seat to look at his mother moodily.

“Let me guess, if the town’s in some kind of chaos you should really learn how to hotwire a car in case of an emergency.” It wasn’t a question. "No way, kid."

For the rest of the ride Henry sat silently, his lanky body slumped perfectly in a huff, until Emma pulled up at school; then and only then did he grunt before getting out to stomp his way into the building.

By the time Emma drove back to town and walked into the diner, her own feelings must have been written on her face because Ruby’s first words to her were, “I’ll make a stronger pot of coffee.”

Ruby came back with the promised cup of potent coffee, and hopped onto the stool next to Emma. “Drink up,” she demanded with a soft swat against the bar top. “Did the family dinner result in complete disaster? Or did someone already tell you that I signed you up to bake for the convent’s upcoming fundraiser? Word around here travels fast.”

Emma’s pale fingers coiled around the steaming cup of coffee and she breathed in the fumes as if the scent alone would fix everything. “Actually the family dinner went down pretty well.” She paused to take a sip of the sweet, strong coffee and almost choked on it when Ruby filled her in. “You did what? What am I supposed to bake?”

"Whatever you want. Granny already agreed that we'll be your first customers," Ruby eagerly added. 

“Oh, no. I just said we'll make a donation,” Granny graciously piped in, although she couldn’t hide her blatant aversion to the thought of baked goods made by Emma Swan. “Here's twenty dollars.” She slid a crisp bill across the counter and then went back to serving customers.

“Hey, I wonder if we could get people to pay you _not_ to bake.” Ruby’s face brightened with the thought of easy money.

Before Emma could even fully express her horror, she was slapped by two insults one right after the other. Suddenly her annoyance at being signed into a bake sale shifted to Ruby and her Granny, and probably everyone else in the damn town who thought she couldn’t cook. “You know, I think I’ll take this coffee to go. Gotta pick up my bug.”

Granted, it wasn’t a lie, but it was better than saying something she’d probably regret. Emma slipped her own money across the counter and waited for Ruby to pour her beverage into the cardboard cup.

“Here,” Ruby frowned and handed over the paper coffee cup with a guilty resignation. “The bake sale is going to help the convent hire someone to do some more renovations. Blue’s not satisfied with the funds Regina’s offering, and Nova begged me to get our cooking group involved. It’ll really be a big help if you can come.” She folded up a neon flyer that advertised the sale and tucked it into Emma’s front pocket. “Tomorrow, at eight AM. We'll start setting up in front of town hall. Don’t forget.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 

Emma had every intention of going straight to the Sheriff station, truly. Right up until her hand went into her pocket to get her car keys, and her fingers found the crumpled up flyer. Impulsively she balled it up, but at the last second she stopped herself from hurling it through the air. No, she would not let this or anyone else taunt her again. Emma's anger slowly dissipated as she got into the car. The engine’s soft rumble calmed her enough to make a plan of action. If nobody would take her seriously then she was going to have to make them. She'd blow off work today and concentrate. If anyone needed her, their calls would come through to her cell phone anyway.

It was barely nine in the morning when she pulled up at the grocery store, which meant she had at least three hours before getting lunch with Regina. With that in mind, Emma got out her car and grabbed one of the shopping carts. A few people gave her bewildered looks while others smiled. For the most part she nodded and tried to avoid eye contact as she moved around the aisles slowly, scanning the shelves for what she needed. Or at least what she believed she needed. With that thought she sent a text to Regina asking her what flavors of jam she liked.

Though it was at the flour section that Emma finally came to a halt. Alright, yeah, she’d made Henry’s birthday cake but she’d given Snow money to grab the ingredients for her. “How the hell am I supposed to know the difference?” Emma frowned, and picked up a hefty bag of the hard flour and another labeled as soft.

“If you don’t know the difference between soft and hard by now, Sheriff, then there’s no hope for you.” Winnie mused suggestively from behind Emma, and shrugged lightly as she stepped closer with her own cart. “You’ve been standing here a while…” she added lightly.

Emma shot the redhead a withering look but sighed out, “I’m baking for the sale tomorrow.” Unsure if she was making the right choice or not, Emma placed the soft flour back on the shelf but continued to clutch at the other bag.

“Oh,” Winnie’s eyebrows arched slightly, then she smiled. “Are you baking rolls?”

The corners of Emma’s mouth twisted, as she snorted, “No. Less bread, more cupcake.”

“Then uh,” Winnie intercepted the bag of flour before Emma had the chance to place it in the cart and stuck it back on the shelf where it belonged. “You might want to lose this and stick with the soft.”

Emma waited for the joke, and found herself surprised when none were fired her way. “Thanks.” She mumbled, and snagged four bags of soft flour, then a bunch of powdered sugar and bottles of food dye and flavorings.

“You’re welcome.” Winnie helpfully approved all of Emma’s ingredients without making a mockery of her. “I have a bit of a sweet tooth,” she smirked. “I’ll have to stop by tomorrow.” She winked at Emma, and then moved down the row to grab a bar of baking chocolate, which she presumptuously added to Emma’s cart. “I prefer chocolate. I'm looking forward to tasting whatever you create.”

Emma faltered slightly. Either Winnie was messing with her or she was the only one in town that thought she could actually bake without screwing it up. “Yeah, you say that now, but tomorrow you’ll probably wish the chocolate was still in bar form.”

Though it was said lightly, Emma’s brows creased in worry. “So uh, when it comes to toppings, are you a butter cream fan or an icing on the cupcake kinda girl?” Well she sure as hell wasn’t going to ask tips from anyone else, and the redhead didn’t seem in a hurry. Emma pushed her cart alongside Winnie’s and walked down the next aisle with the woman.

“If only that was innuendo.” Winnie could hardly suppress a quiet laugh as she stepped conspiratorially close to Emma. “In this particular circumstance, I swing both ways.” She wiggled her eyebrow cleverly, and tossed a few more items into Emma’s cart. “Curious about any of my other faves?”

It took a full second for Emma to realize what Winnie was getting at, then another as her mind returned to this morning in the shower with Regina. Flustered, Emma stepped back to snag a tub of butter and a carton of whipping cream, all the while trying to ignore the images her mind conjured up. “There’s the Winnie I know.” She muttered, turning to add the items to her cart. “Sure, tell me what else you like.” Emma said breezily, “But only if we’re talking baked goods.”

Winnie gave a thoughtful pause and nibbled on her lower lip. “Of course—you are a married woman after all,” she smirked. “I'm a big fan of brownies and pies. Why don’t you tell me what you like, Emma? What does Regina make for you, for instance?” She seemed genuinely curious, and her eyes lingered over Emma’s blushing cheeks.

It was on the tip of Emma’s tongue to state that food didn’t drive her wild, but that felt like too much of a lie even to herself. So instead she shrugged and hunched over the cart in thought. “You know, I’d never admit it, but she makes these little apple puff things that are kinda the size of a pool ball with this cinnamon drizzle.” Emma straightened up with a wry grin, “And she makes chocolate cupcakes with a ganache center and tops it off with a chocolate buttercream and sprinkles it with red pepper flakes. I don’t know why it works so well but it’s pretty great.”

Winnie glanced towards the ceiling as if she was running out of patience with Emma, but she appeared amused by Emma’s devotion to not only Regina, but also to Regina's baking. “The way to your heart is obviously through food. I should have just cooked you dinner when I was trying to take you to bed,” she joked. “I bet you’d find my pastries irresistible… and that’s not the only thing. But it’s clear to me that you and Regina belong together.”

Emma rolled her eyes and gave Winnie an exasperated look. “You just had to ruin the moment. Well on that note...” She shook her head and began walking away from the redhead. “I better buy this stuff and take it home so I can get back to the station.”

“Do you expect anything different from me?” Winnie chuckled. “It’s all in good fun, I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetie.” With a small wave of her hand, she took a detour down another aisle and left Emma alone by the checkout.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 

In a shroud of magic that billowed around her like a delicate dress, Regina traveled across town and arrived at the hospital. She intruded on Whale’s private break room, and demanded his immediate attention by wrenching the clipboard from his hands. “I’m changing the time of my appointment,” she informed the flustered receptionist and then pushed Dr. Whale into an examination room.

Dr. Whale stumbled in the process but managed to keep his footing as Regina positioned herself on the patient’s table. “No time for pleasantries today?” he asked with a smirk.

Regina spared him a threatening smirk of her own and then smoothed down her slacks. “Under ordinary circumstances, I’d happily make the time to insult your midlife crisis hairstyle, or your inability to get close to a woman unless she’s cold and lifeless -- or, you know, undergoing a medical procedure. But today I'm making a special exception, Whale.” She crossed her legs and sat in a pose that her mother would have approved as ladylike -- though she always considered this stance to be a threatening display of power. “I should have cursed many more people to become obstetricians, but at the time I thought that making you our sole practitioner would be just another well-played act of revenge. Little did I know that I’d be in need of your services...”

Whale tried to maintain a neutral expression. “You think you’re pregnant?” he snorted. “No wonder your relationship with the savior has been rocky. Who’s the father?”

“I should have known you’d make foolish assumptions. Emma is the other parent,” Regina calmly replied, but a touch of anger began to adulterate her steely exterior. She was already worried enough over how the rest of the town would perceive her situation with Emma. If she could handle Whale and remain levelheaded, it would be good practice for dealing with everyone else.

“Ah,” Whale breathed out, as though mystified, but he didn’t dwell on the particulars as he pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and went to grab a needle. He rubbed her arm with an alcohol cotton swab and then stuck her to take a vial of blood. “I should have known that Emma wore… the--… gun holster… both in and out of the bedroom.”

Regina clenched her hand reflexively and flared her nostrils from the unexpected prick to her vein. “Gun holster indeed,” she huskily drawled. “And yours is no doubt the size of your own instrument,” she mused, flicking her lashes rapidly in the direction of Whale’s tiny needle.

Whale used a new piece of cotton to forcefully press down over the spot where he’d drawn blood. “Now that’s an unfair comment to make, considering you’ve never seen it,” he smirked.

“Oh I know there’s not much to be seen,” Regina airily insisted. She batted her eyelashes at him and pouted to antagonize him. “After all, you slept with Snow White and she’s quite the gossip. Now, are we done here? When will you have my test results?”

Whale was clearly peeved, and his face glowed hotly as he thrust a plastic cup at her. “I also require a urine sample,” he stated and ripped off his protective gloves. “You should have your results by later this afternoon. I’ll call the house and leave a message.”

“No,” Regina hastily complained, and gripped her elbows in undisguised worry. “You can do better than that. Take my samples down to the lab yourself.”

Whale sensed her panic, and with a subtle smile, flicked through her paperwork. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “You seem rather on edge. Shouldn’t you be excited?”

Regina’s fingers twitched with magic and the urge to strangle him. “I just want my results right away,” she demanded. “You’re going to go down to the lab and submit my samples under a false name, and then you’re going to find me in the waiting area.” With a final glance of warning, she stalked out of the room and gave him no chance to question her instructions.

The waiting room was nearly empty, and she lowered herself into a rigid chair far away from the front desk and all of the other patients. She noticed a message from Emma on her phone and began to type a response, but left the text unfinished. Until she had more answers and sorted out her own feelings, she wanted to avoid conversations with Emma.

They had chosen to try for another baby before Emma discovered the extent of her lies. If Regina was actually pregnant, she wondered how Emma would react. 

Would Emma still have the same attitude about raising a second child with her? What if their relationship fell apart before the baby was even born? Perhaps Emma wouldn’t even trust her to carry the child to term without constant moral support. Could she trust herself? She put her face in her hands and at last invited the dismal thoughts that whispered like competing voices in her head.

Too many times in the past, she had lost all touch with who she was and let hatred and pain guide her choices. Back then, she directed her bitterness at all who had wronged her, and now she had no one to blame but herself. There was no one to despise but the quiet scream in her mind that assured her that her fears were warranted. 

Why had she been so irrational and quick to commit that frightful act—to rip that tiny bud of wondrous life from her body?

It was her child—her child with Emma—and she had taken it out of herself, and watched it where it lay on the ground like a smashed up piece of fruit, the eyes like black seeds amid dark red pulp.

She choked on the fast rush of tears that sprang from her as she saw Emma’s pale face in memory—the flinch, and the stunned stare of horror. How had she ever allowed herself to believe that deceiving Emma was the only way to survive that crisis?

Without experiencing any hesitation at all, she flipped open her phone and called Emma’s number. She found a tissue in her purse and wiped her cheeks dry while she listened to the ringing.

A few hours had passed, so Regina assumed Emma must be at work, but she heard the soft whirring of a mixer as her wife answered. “I need to see you,” she rasped quietly. “Where are you right now?”

“Uh.” Emma balanced the phone against her ear and gripped her mixing bowl in one hand. “Home.”

As Emma spoke, Regina spotted Whale approaching from across the room. “Good. I’ll be there shortly,” she murmured. “I love you.” She hung up and inhaled, then held the breath.

“It would seem you are pregnant,” Whale announced unceremoniously, and blinked as though unimpressed—but Regina hardly noticed him at all. Only his words mattered.

She could feel a smile break across her face like a sunrise—banishing the darkness, and starting something fresh and new.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Smoky, violet magic swirled around Regina as she appeared in the kitchen, bursting with conviction to tell Emma, and the sort of hope that terrified her. She recalled only a few moments in her life when she indulged in this feeling of pure faith that her life wasn’t mean to be so awful after all. She could only describe it as the thrill of falling without the threat of the drop—though the drop always inevitably came. Still, she couldn’t help but give in to the temptation to be happy.

She was beaming and her shoulders were practically shaking, even as she drew them together and forced herself to breathe. Her nervous hands formed fists at her sides, and she stepped close to Emma as Emma distractedly stepped away.

Rows of burnt cupcakes sat lined up on the countertop, like the blackened little toadstools that she once used for potions. She glimpsed a cake that was still cooling and must have included ingredients that were not quite right; it looked deflated, and almost as if it was clinging to the pan for dear life.

Emma had a crazed, manic frown on her lips as she labored over a mixing bowl. Her hair fluffed around face and she twitched to attention as Regina came closer. 

“Ruby signed me up for the bake sale tomorrow.” The words came out in a breathless rush. Emma’s pupils were dilated and her face was marked with flour, yet even in her state she could see that Regina was positively glowing. “Hey…” She husked, stopping just short of stepping into her wife. “I thought I was coming to you for lunch.” Really, she hadn’t wanted anyone to see her attempts, only the finished results and now she’d been caught. “I could make us a salad, I’m sure we have enough in the fridge.” Emma glanced around the kitchen then motioned toward the door. “Yeah, I’ll make us lunch and you can go relax and I’ll be out in five minutes.”

Emma was already backing away, as if her lanky frame could hide the chaos behind her, when another thought struck her. “Wait, is everything okay, you sounded kinda off on the phone? Are the dwarves petitioning for paid lunch breaks again?”

Regina gently clutched Emma’s arm and gave a small, stifled laugh. “Nothing like that,” she assured her wife. “Everything is fine—better than fine, actually. It seems like you have quite a disaster on your hands, though.” She scanned the room again, then wet a towel so she could lean in to clean the mess from Emma’s face. With a glance at the pathetic-looking cake, she playfully remarked, “You didn’t add enough flour. It would appear that it ended up all over you.”

Emma’s own smile was short lived as she bristled, “It’s not a disaster.” Okay, maybe it was, but that wasn’t the point. The look of amusement in her wife’s eyes as she took in the nearest burnt creation made her feel foolish. “I know what I’m doing.” Emma insisted, and internalized the sigh she so longed to release. “I’ll go wash up in a second, just let me make us something first. What do you feel like having?”

Regina rested her hand over her stomach, which was not only fluttering with excitement but also the remnants of her usual morning nausea. “I’m not all that hungry,” she murmured, but the way her gaze roved over the baked goods made it seem like she doubted Emma’s ability to make an edible lunch.

“Seriously, you too?” Emma tried to mask the hurt and replaced her wounded tone swiftly with irritation as she sniffed, “How can I mess up a salad? How can anyone? It’s just a bunch of vegetables sliced up and tossed together. It isn’t rocket science. High school dropouts can still make salads, and they can cook roast dinners and bake cupcakes just like everyone else. And so what if I have flour on me? I’ll clean up after myself. Everyone trusts me to run into danger, but look out if I start mixing batter—suddenly I’m incompetent. Is that what you think?”

Emma’s self-doubts had gotten away from her as she thought of everyone who’d mocked her kitchen skills, and the indignation and anger burned hotly on her cheeks.

Regina could only stare helplessly and shake her head no; she was at a loss for words that would soothe Emma, and she wished she could start the conversation over. All she wanted was to share the news, but Emma’s mood struck her like a knife through a balloon and she went limp and airless. “Not at all,” she finally choked. “I just meant… that I’m still full from breakfast.”

Emma wasn’t sure if she believed her wife or not, but she turned away from her regardless to switch off the mixer, and grabbed the nearest spatula. 

Regina gave her wife some space to finish baking, and swore to herself that she’d find the ideal moment to reveal the results of her test to Emma. She slipped into an apron in case Emma needed a hand, but she sat at the kitchen table and mainly watched. “You know, I never told you how I learned to bake,” she softly pointed out. “I didn’t learn to cook until I grew up and came to Storybrooke. But baking—I’ve been baking since I was a little girl. There was a woman who ran the kitchens in my home. She taught me many of the recipes I still use today, and she had beautiful hair, just like yours. . . ”


	18. Chapter 18

Each time that Regina saw an opportunity to clue Emma in about her pregnancy, her wife became absorbed with rescuing a half-burnt cake or whipping together more icing. Regina waited patiently in the kitchen, and sampled each one of Emma’s tasteless creations in the hopes of cheering her wife up—but every tray of cookies went in the trash, and only a few cupcakes from a single batch survived Emma’s ruthless selection process. 

“I have a bun in the oven,” Regina finally muttered loud enough to be heard, but Emma was too preoccupied to understand her cheesy remark.

To her horror, Emma handed her an oven mitt and went back to furiously beating eggs. 

Regina threw the mitt down on the countertop and left the room. Emma didn’t even notice her absence—at least until someone rang the doorbell. Only then did Emma shout for Regina to answer it.

Regina swung the door open to find Mary Margaret, whose pathetic, pleading face always had the same effect on her. She rolled her eyes, but she was too worn out to make any remarks.

“Regina,” Mary Margaret gustily breathed out. “I came by to remind you about book club. I thought maybe we could have dinner beforehand and go together—”

“Book club?” Regina drawled out in confusion, although she vaguely remembered that she made a promise to attend the next session. “That’s tonight?”

Mary Margaret frowned as if she couldn’t believe that Regina had forgotten such an important commitment. “Yes. If we hurry, we’ll even have time to do some shopping!”

Regina glanced down at her wristwatch, and with a severe arch of her eyebrows, muttered, “It’s only three PM. Your book club meets at 7 o’clock.”

“I’ll wait here while you get your coat,” Mary Margaret said. “There are some new boutiques in town and– ”

Regina didn’t wait to hear what else Mary Margaret might add. If she knew what she’d have to endure in advance, she might choose to stay home.

While Regina went to get ready, Mary Margaret peeked into the kitchen and squeaked in astonishment over the mess. She spent the next ten minutes sweeping up flour and gently chastising Emma’s mistakes, though from the grunts she received in response, it was clear that her daughter found her presence grating. It was an act of mercy when Regina mentioned the time and finally suggested they leave.

They both climbed into the station wagon, and Regina braced herself for an afternoon of shopping. 

It was bad enough that Mary Margaret had a smile plastered on her face that could rival the brightness of the sun, but the idea of small talk was what resulted in Regina turning on the radio.

“Oh, I love this song!” blurted Mary Margaret, before humming along, cheerfully off-key.

“Of course you do,” Regina sighed in resignation, then narrowed her eyes in thought. It wasn’t long before she found herself murmuring wickedly, “For a woman who can talk to birds, you sing like a stray cat stuck in a dumpster.”

Mary Margaret rolled her eyes but carried on anyway, knowing full well that Regina’s sass wasn’t malicious at all.

The first shop they visited sold country home décor, and Regina had little to no interest in the merchandise—but their second stop was a store she hadn’t entered in fifteen years. She refused to go inside, and made up an excuse that she needed to finish up some work calls. Mary Margaret went on ahead, and Regina watched closely through the window as her former nemesis picked out tiny booties, hats and clothing from the display cases or racks throughout the shop. Mary Margaret claimed they were gifts for a friend and fellow teacher who was expecting a baby in the spring.

“Congratulations to her,” Regina sardonically grumbled, and her mood darkened until Mary Margaret stowed the bags out of sight.

The last shop was perhaps the only one Regina eagerly walked into, and her smile was genuine when she browsed the selection of colorful fabrics and elegant designs. Fashion had always intrigued her, but nobody’s fashion sense horrified her more than Mary Margaret’s—

“What about this one?” Mary Margaret asked with an air of exasperation. The school teacher stood with her head tipped back, clutching a mauve cardigan that was still on its hanger and holding it against herself.

With a critical once over, Regina shook her head, “If you pick up one more of those I’m going to incinerate it.” The deadpan way it fell from her lips amused her, but she kept the smile off her face for effect. “Here,” Regina sighed after a moment, thrusting a pastel, sleeveless dress at her. “Get this instead.”

“Oh, I don’t know…” The words were hushed as Mary Margaret held the dress at arm’s length, as if the style offended her. “It seems a bit…” The corners of her mouth twisted before she finally managed, “Short.”

Regina stepped closer with a quirk of her eyebrow, “As hard as it is to believe, showing your knees in public isn’t considered scandalous. Believe me, Charming will appreciate the change.”

Instantly bristling at the comment, Mary Margaret’s face reflected her offense as she sputtered, “And just what is that supposed to mean?”

Regina’s lips tugged into a lazy cheshire like grin and the corners of her eyes crinkled with mischief. “It means just because you're twice the age you look, you don’t have to dress it.” She paused to let her words sink in before baiting further. “But by all means, buy another cardigan for your hideous collection.”

Mary Margaret could do nothing but gape as Regina sauntered off towards the cashier, a collection of new clothes tucked under her arm. Wordlessly she hurried after after her. Cardigan be damned, she was buying the dress.

And Regina felt almost cheerful after that – until they arrived at the diner.

Just as they had settled into a booth, and she was browsing the daily specials, Mary Margaret dreamily reflected, “Sometimes I think it would be nice to have another baby. Do you ever wish you had the opportunity to do it all again? Henry’s so grown up now.”

Regina set down her menu, and surreptitiously slipped her hand under the table to rest over her stomach. Her lips pursed together in thought as she eyed the woman across from her.

“Were you afraid?” Mary Margaret asked. The question stilled Regina’s heart until the younger woman continued. “It must have taken a lot of courage to adopt Henry.”

“Actually I think it was an act of desperation instead of an act of courage,” Regina murmured, with a soft and searching squint of her eyes. “Coming to this land wasn’t only about punishing everyone. I wanted to start over, but I was just as sad and alone as the rest of you. Becoming a mother brought back my ability to love… and to be selfless.”

Her recent actions were an inversion of what she had accomplished when she adopted Henry. Destroying her family left her hollow, and that emptiness was eventually filled with anxieties and heartache over the child she had forsaken. The child that she now carried within her wasn’t responsible for healing those fresh wounds, but the little one would surely alter her life in ways she couldn’t yet count, just as Henry did.

Mary Margaret studied Regina’s face and offered a small, soft smile in return. Sensing that she should change the topic, she beckoned Ruby over.

“What can I get you guys today?” The tall waitress asked breezily, her smile bright as she looked between the two women.

In spite of the sadness that hung over her, Regina allowed herself to feel a tiny flicker of happiness that perhaps the baby would take after Emma. She was beginning to crave cheese, fried batter and sweets that were so distinctly reflective of her wife’s tastes. 

“We’ve got a special on pancakes.” Ruby said enticingly, then glanced around to ensure Granny was nowhere in sight. Lowering her voice, Ruby added furtively, “We both made batter for them this morning so uh, you can have double the amount if you order them, or it’ll just end up in the trash.”

“I’ll have the grilled cheese,” Regina stated confidently, surprising even herself as the words left her mouth.

“Grilled cheese and French fries?” Mary Margaret laughed. “I feel like I’m out to dinner with Emma.”

Regina shot an unamused glare towards her dinner companion yet kept her mouth shut. Nothing nice would have come out of it.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger.” Mary Margaret impulsively decided, and grinned at Regina as if they were sharing a secret indulgence. When Ruby left with their orders, the younger woman leaned against the table with her elbows and murmured, “Speaking of Emma, has she been a bit secretive lately? It’s been so hard to communicate with her lately. Not that it’s ever been easy.”

Mary Margaret was only trying to drop subtle hints about the baby, but Regina’s perceptions of the situation were entirely different.

For the second time that evening, Regina sat in silence and wondered how Mary Margaret always managed to bring up the most sensitive subjects.

Did Mary Margaret suspect that Emma was hiding something horrible? Had Emma told her parents that she needed to keep their relationship issues private?

“Snow,” Regina quietly began, and fussed with the napkin in her lap. “There’s something you should know about the difficulties in our marriage. Last year I erased some of Emma’s memories.” She could have left it at that. With the way her throat closed, it was clear she wanted to, but now that she was being honest, she felt compelled to carry on. “Without her permission.”

The sudden use of her other name should have been a warning, but nothing could have prepared her for what Regina shared. Mary Margaret’s face fell and she shook her head faintly in denial. “You took her memories?” she asked very slowly. “Why?”

“I did something horrible. I’m not prepared to discuss that with you,” Regina cautiously explained. “Emma has her memories back now. She knows what I did and why I did it,” she stressed.

As much as Regina would have preferred to keep her wrongdoings undisclosed, it felt like progress to acknowledge her violation of Emma. Why it was coming out of her at this exact moment she wasn’t entirely sure, but she suspected it had a lot to do with the fact that she was now fully aware that there was another life steadily growing inside her. Nothing she could do would salvage the past, but she could try to fix the present.

“That’s awful,” Mary Margaret stuttered in horror, jaw slack like it had become unhinged. “This explains why you were so cruel to her.” With her brow furrowed, Mary Margaret almost resembled the confused child she’d been all those years ago when she’d stumbled on Regina in the barn with Daniel. The news of what had gone on in her daughter’s marriage was clearly incomprehensible to her. “How could you put her through that? How could you make her think she was to blame for everything?”

If anyone could assume what horrible deeds Regina was capable of carrying out, it was Mary Margaret—and yet the woman stared at her in disbelief, all the while shaking her head.

Regina expected a confrontation; her body tensed in preparation for it, but when Mary Margaret simply stood up and walked off, she found herself at a loss for what to do. To her dismay, she noted that Ruby was within hearing distance and that the other patrons in the diner were glancing uneasily at her table after Mary Margaret's hasty exit.

Already she could hear the murmurs of speculation as to what had happened between them, but nobody would be able to guess. None of them would understand her situation. They never had—but they whispered as if they knew.

There was no one in town more penitent than Regina—who truly lived with the gravity of each of her crimes; she wore her hurts and regrets like a pair of old shoes, until the soles were damaged with time and she had to continue moving forward on skinned, bleeding feet.

In her younger years, she learned that making a quick and messy exit from the world was not an option. She would continue to withstand her suffering without surrendering to herself, or to any enemy. And yet the cynical side of her glanced around the room, and went back to the day of her execution, when all of these people had gathered to witness her end. Was everyone just waiting for her to stumble?

There was one exception—one person who stepped out of the gossiping crowd and approached her.

Ruby came towards the booth and dropped into the seat across from Regina with a quiet thud. “Hey. I guess it’s pretty obvious that I over heard that – but look, I’m not going to pass judgment on you. I literally devoured someone I loved,” she said all in one breath. The weight of the statement drooped her shoulders and she shook her head. Unlikely as it would seem, if anyone could understand the stigma of being an outcast it was the girl who turned into a werewolf. Even in the Enchanted Forest, despite Snow and those who followed her, people shunned Ruby and her Granny. It was easy to fear what you didn’t understand.

Parting her hands as if to show she had nothing to hide, Ruby released a soft breath and carried on, “I mean, yeah, I was mad at you for a long time, and I might have bad-mouthed you, but that was only because you were hurting Emma and hurting yourself. What you did to her was terrible, but you already know that.” It was clearly an acknowledgement Ruby felt she needed to make. Too often the focus was on what someone had done, and not enough on whether the person even cared to accept responsibility for it. Regina cared. 

Regina’s gaze lowered slightly, and the muscles in her jaw jumped, but she gave an imperceptible nod then released a long, heavy sigh. “I should have known better than to confide in Snow. I should have kept my mouth shut.” Regina concluded with a shake of her head. She thought she was only being honest, but perhaps she’d only been deluding herself. Perhaps the decision was self-destructive after all; Snow could never keep a secret and was still easily riled up. 

The guilt from her actions might have pushed Regina to seek out punishment from the one person who still might deliver it. 

“Right, because keeping your mouth shut has always helped in the past,” Ruby said dryly, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

“It was a mistake. Emma didn’t want anyone to know what really happened. We agreed we’d only talk about it in therapy,” Regina grudgingly admitted, then looked at Ruby with narrowed, suspicious eyes. “And why do you even care? It’s not like we’re friends.” It was said derisively and with enough conviction that Regina almost believed it herself.

Ruby took the acerbic words on the chin and looked Regina dead in the eyes as she stated, “I mean this with respect Madame Mayor, but you’re so full of shit.”

Anger sparked within Regina’s dark eyes and her lips parted in surprise before they twisted dangerously into a smile. Leaning across the table she snarled quietly, “Excuse me?”

Unfazed by the impending threat in front of her, Ruby dared to lean on the table too as she shot back, “When are you going to realize that you have people around you that actually care about you? People who worry and want to help and haven’t turned their back on you. What are those called again? Oh yeah, friends. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like you make it easy, walking around like everyone hates you all the time, but once in a while maybe look around and notice that things have changed. Seriously, Regina, none of us are the same people we once were all those years ago when Emma first came to town. I don’t know the ins and outs of what went on in your relationship, but what I do know is that the other day Emma realized that the way she’s been behaving wasn’t fair to you either, and since anyone with eyes can see how much you still love each other, maybe accept the fact that Emma’s never given up hope that the two of you would work it out. You should also embrace that you’ve changed into someone who wants to admit her mistakes and work on making things better.”

As Ruby paused for breath, Regina opened her mouth but found herself unable to form any words, so instead she sucked in a shaky breath and blinked back at the young woman who appeared to be continuing with her onslaught of advice.

“Just make sure you don’t shut Emma back out in the process. It will take the two of you to mend the relationship. Now, don’t you have a book club to get to?”

Finally finished, Ruby reclined in her chair, ready for whatever reaction she might get.

The speech from Ruby seemed like a last warning for Regina and perhaps because it had been so unexpected, it resonated the most. She thought about returning home to Emma, but it was nearly seven o’clock and Mary Margaret appeared to be waiting for her by the door. 

“I appreciate your advice,” Regina admitted slowly, as if still shocked by the intensity of the waitress. Standing up, she placed a few bills on the table to cover the dinners neither of them had eaten and brushed imaginary crumbs off her shirt as she composed herself. It wasn’t every day someone had the gall to call her out, or call her full of shit, but it was hard to be angry when the message had been so valid.

Rather than dish back some flippant remark about flea ridden beasts, Regina instead husked, “I’m going to try harder. Emma deserves better.” She kept her hand on her stomach as she shifted and pushed the chair under the table. “Our family deserves better.”

Mary Margaret scarcely did more than glance at her as they left the diner and drove to town hall. Regina considered making up an excuse to get out of book club, but she forced herself to go. A small part of her wanted Snow’s forgiveness, or at the very least, for Snow to address what she had done. The silence was so unbearable that Regina almost missed the racket she put up with throughout the afternoon. 

The book club gathered twice a month in the conference space below her own office, but Regina had never bothered to attend. As she entered the room, she realized why; the chairs were arranged in a circle and the types of women that filled the seats reminded her of the girls her mother had always invited to tea parties.

Nova and the faeries Fawn and Iridessa were all deep in conversation about the recent disasters at the convent; Ashley and Belle took the lead on setting up refreshments. The wood nymph Laurel distributed the discussion questions, and several teachers from the Storybrooke elementary school sat in a tight cluster.

Winnie perked up when she noticed Regina, and much to Regina’s luck, so did the rest of the attendees. Since Mary Margaret seemed determined to ignore her, Regina ended up in the only available spot—between Laurel and a tiny old woman named Mrs. Wimbley who hunched over a plate of finger sandwiches.

“Isn’t it nice to see a new face!” Mrs. Wimbley remarked, fixing her tilted glasses. 

Regina suspected that the matronly woman couldn’t actually see much, because as soon as Mrs. Wimbley set the frames right, she flinched and nearly dropped her sandwiches. 

“Oh it’s the—the mayor!” Mrs. Wimbley laughed nervously, and it was quite clear to Regina that the woman intended to call her the evil queen. 

Regina would typically have her guard up after such a welcome, but she still offered the woman a soft and friendly smile. “Mrs. Wimbley,” she muttered in greeting. 

Laurel paused to glance over at Regina, and handed her a notecard that summarized the highlights of the evening’s discussion. The club was apparently reading a self-help book on empowerment, loving oneself and building stronger relationships. Regina began to worry how her presence at this particular session would be perceived, given that most of the town knew her marriage was in jeopardy. 

Mrs. Wimbley boldly leaned towards Regina and craned her head back to blink up at the Mayor. Her eyes appeared huge through the thick lenses of her glasses and the once bright hazel of her youth now had an almost milky tinge. “We never really start talking about the book for the first few minutes,” She confided, then gestured toward the table being filled with snacks and beverages. “We take turns, you see, bringing things. The tea is always lovely but sometimes the coffee is best left forgotten.” The words were barely out of her mouth as she glanced towards Mary Margaret with a bit of a grimace. “Depending on who made it.”

Laurel stood slowly and carefully placed her book and card on her seat with care; her long fingers stroked the spine lightly before she cocked her head to look at Regina with curiosity. “I’m fetching a few sandwiches for myself. Would you care for anything?” The wood nymph’s voice was as light as the breeze and as warm as summer; her eyes were a startling, bright green as if the sun were shining across leaves.

Regina would have declined, but her stomach grumbled to remind her that she’d only eaten half of her grilled cheese sandwich. She felt practically ill with hunger; nausea plagued her more regularly, regardless of the time of day. “That’s very kind, but I can help myself,” she softly replied, and followed the wood nymph over to the snack table. Her fingers twitched in anticipation as she selected sandwiches and cookies to put onto her plate. 

Regina soon discovered that the book club had less to do with discussing literature and more to do with discussing real life fiction. The juiciest gossip was the main subject of their chat.

Iridessa appeared to be leading the conversation as she gushed to the other faeries, “All I know is that when I went into the kitchen after dinner, half the sherry was gone and Blue was nowhere to be seen.”

Nova shook her head, and then winced; it must have still hurt from the blow she’d taken the other day as the roof collapsed. “That doesn’t mean anything,” She sighed in return.

“Yeah.” Fawn easily agreed, “Besides, Leroy had been dropping off more pixie dust from the mines, and we all know he likes to drink.”

Nova’s cheeks burned with embarrassment and before she could help herself she blurted, “Yes well, none of us are perfect. You sneak out at night to do who knows what and I don’t go around telling everyone!”

“Nova!” Fawn gasped, her own cheeks ruddy with embarrassment as Ashley and Belle took their seats.

“There’s nothing wrong with a little socializing,” Ashley argued, and gave the faeries a wink to show her approval. “Sometimes I miss my old life. Every day, there was a ball.”

Winnie rolled her eyes and kicked her feet up on Regina’s vacant chair. “Are you kidding? Our lives are way better now,” she insisted, and then mumbled under her breath, “Too many prudes in the Enchanted Forest holding out for their long lost princes.” 

“I prefer this land.” Mrs. Wimbley agreed, wiping one wrinkled hand down her shirt to shake off the crumbs of her sandwich. “Running hot water, electricity, roads that aren’t mud, washing machines…” The old woman sighed wistfully and reclined in her seat with a smile. “Now that’s a little bit of magic for all of us.”

Belle grinned at the elder woman, nodding as she turned to elbow Ashley, “You see? We don’t need to be in our old land to enjoy a ball or a new gown. We have bars and city hall and we can throw street parties.”

“And bake sales!” Nova blurted excitedly. “Like tomorrow, and everyone in town will come, and together we’ll fix the convent and enjoy all the baked goods people have made.”

“Speaking of the bake sale…” Ashley looked towards Mary Margaret, and then to Regina, “Is Emma really going to bring something? I mean, I overheard Ruby this morning but…” With a slight tilt of her head, Ashley’s lips pressed together in slight embarrassment before she finally voiced what was on her mind. “Well usually you’re the one who bakes and we all really enjoy your tarts.”

It wasn’t exactly subtle, the soft chorus through the group that said loud and clear that the idea of eating something made by Emma didn’t appeal to any of them. In fact, many people seemed disappointed by the notion of Regina sitting this one out.

“What is wrong with Emma’s baking?” Regina dared to ask; she was offended on Emma’s behalf, and sought to distract them all from her wife’s ineptitude in the only way she knew how. “You’d think she was the one who spent all of those years trying to poison you.” She secretly enjoyed how the mood in the room shifted, and how the faeries’ irritating cheerfulness faded as they took her joke seriously. 

“I suppose we should keep an open mind,” Nova mumbled, twiddling her thumbs in apprehension. 

Caught off guard by Regina’s automatic defense of her daughter, Mary Margaret seemed to forget how utterly upset she was and brightened at the panic on everyone’s faces.

Regina wore a faint but devilish grin. She wondered if she could intimidate all of the members of the book club into buying every one of Emma’s disgusting cupcakes. It seemed like this evening wasn’t going to be a waste after all. 

“Actually Emma’s a pretty good cook.” Belle chimed in, “The chocolate cake she made for Henry’s birthday was delicious, and I should know, I had two slices.”

Everyone glanced towards her in surprise and Belle shrugged lightly like it was no big deal, though she subtly peered at Regina and Mary Margaret to let them know she meant it.

“Don’t look so surprised, Iridessa. You’ve seen her at the cooking classes Ruby hosts.” Winnie’s smirk was slow as she lifted her feet off of Regina’s chair and sat up straighter. “Or maybe you were too preoccupied with over-salting your fish and burning your pot of soup.”

“I-” Iridessa sputtered, cheeks aflame with humiliation.

“Hey don’t get your panties in a bunch. A lot of us are there to learn. Mistakes are part of that process.” Winnie raised her shoulders in a nonchalant shrug.

Laurel raised her cup of tea and took a sip as she watched the back and forth, albeit with amused curiosity.

“Speaking of mistakes,” Mary Margaret tactfully but hurriedly interrupted, “We ended last week’s discussion by talking about how to acknowledge when we’ve made them. Tonight we’re chatting about resolving disputes, and seeking forgiveness.” She glanced down at the notecard in her hand and flinched almost imperceptibly—perhaps because of how pertinent the topic was in light of the recent problems with Regina. “I’d be happy to start. I used to think I was very forgiving, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized I need to work through a lot of emotions before I’m ready to forgive someone. The author makes it sound easier than it actually is.”

Winnie reached for her copy of the book, entitled Self-Healing: The Guide to a Better You by S.L. Knoll. “It seems to me like the author has a pretty unrealistic notion of what goes on in a relationship,” she remarked. “Like, once my ex holds a grudge against someone, that’s the end. You’d think she might forget after a hundred years, but nope. She’s going to be pissed and uptight about it until the day she dies--” 

Regina despised self-help literature, but she listened attentively nonetheless. “In her defense, you are rather obnoxious,” she muttered, unable to filter herself. “And I’m pretty certain you’ve hit on almost every woman in this room, so perhaps your ex’s behavior is justified.” 

“I mean, that’s about half right,” Winnie admitted with a scandalous smirk. “My ex finds me appealing…”

“That’s because your ex is a frigid you-know-what, and no one wants to date her,” Fawn snickered, earning a threatening glare from Winnie. 

Mary Margaret held out a book to Regina, without bothering to make eye contact. 

Regina chewed the inside of her lip as she reached out to take the book with a quiet, “Thank you.”

Belle cleared her throat and shifted slightly in her seat, her hands curling around the book as she looked around the room. “Winnie has a point.” She sighed, and ignored the red head’s smug smile at her agreement. “The author doesn’t really seem to grasp the reality of relationships, and what can happen within them. Not everything is going to be about hurt feelings. It can go beyond that -- to-to...” 

Belle faltered as her mind worked over the times that Rumple had gone behind her back and did something he ultimately felt was the right thing no matter how wrong it seemed to her or how many people it affected.

“Hurting others.” Laurel supplied quietly, her thumb methodically running against the spine of the book.

Mrs. Wimbley nodded solemnly, the wrinkles of her forehead deepening as she frowned. “There’s this notion that relationships are easy, that being in love erases all the bad but the truth is, it doesn’t. Love is more complicated than that. It’s seeing the dark and troubled parts of someone and choosing to still want to be with them. It’s acknowledging that someone will see all the bits of you that you don’t want anyone else to see, and trusting they’ll still want you in return. It’s not a quick fix. It’s hard work and commitment and compromise.”

Silence lingered for a moment until Nova broke it with a lilting, “I think the author wants you to learn to forgive yourself.”

Regina would have liked to scoff out loud at that, but she merely raised her eyebrows skeptically and hugged herself tightly around the waist. She should have some wisdom to share on the subject of hurting others, since it was an art she studied for decades—but all of the talk of relationships and forgiveness unsettled her more than she was willing to acknowledge. “What does that even mean,” she cynically interrupted. “Does it mean forgetting the past? Or believing in the possibility of a better future? What does forgiving oneself entail? Waking up every day with good intentions? How many good deeds will undo one awful deed?” 

A year ago, Regina believed in redemption and even started to view herself as a hero. That false sense of security lured her into a state of unsuspecting happiness, and the first real challenge once again brought out the worst in her. She couldn’t begin to compare notes with any of these women who went to book club, and led simple lives—these people who rarely fought with their significant others, and saw those fights as their most terrible transgressions.

“I don’t think anyone can really say,” Belle intoned, when no one in the room would answer Regina. “For me, it’s a feeling, and nothing more than that. A feeling that I will survive, and that I won’t let an experience get the better of me. I don’t let go of my guilt, but I don’t allow it to paralyze me, either.” 

“Aren’t we all glad that Mary Margaret chose this book?” Winnie cut in mockingly. “I, for one, have learned so much.” 

“I’m glad to hear that Winnie, because given the amount of stories you have about your ex, it seemed very fitting,” Mary Margaret shot back with aggravation. Up until dinner, she’d thought the book of choice would have been a great way to let Regina know that forgiveness was something they all strived for, and now, well, she wasn’t exactly pleased with her own book recommendation.

“I don’t think it’s a way to tally out things,” Iridessa mused, her gaze landing on Regina, as if oblivious to the snide remarks Winnie and Mary Margaret hurled at one another. “Two good things won’t undo a bad thing, but choosing to learn from my mistakes instead of repeating them, that feels like the right thing to do.”

“It’s all any of us can do.” Ashley supplied evenly. The weight of her own deal with Rumple all those years ago still weighed heavily on her shoulders. “I don’t think we can ever forget the things we regret we did, but who we become after--that is entirely up to us. Along the way you learn to accept it and move one, so I guess that’s a kind of self forgiveness.”

Regina found it agonizing to listen everyone’s perspective on forgiveness, if only because they all differed so vastly from her own. And all she wanted was to be with Emma—and more than anything, to unburden herself by revealing the secret she kept all day. 

“Why don’t we move on to discussing the chapter about patience?” Mary Margaret suggested, after catching a glimpse of the tired look on Regina’s face. 

At least Regina felt she could benefit from a discussion about patience, since hers was rapidly waning. If she left now, Mary Margaret might misconstrue it – but Regina was becoming cranky. 

“For a long time, I had trouble being patient with my family,” Mary Margaret continued, folding her hands in her lap. “Especially certain people, who require much more patience than others.”

Regina couldn’t tell if Mary Margaret was referring to her or to Emma. 

Everyone quieted as Mary Margaret paused, and though their curiosity had been piqued, none of them dared ask who she was talking about. Awkwardly, they kept their gazes trained on Mary Margaret and far from Regina, who no doubt felt just as tense as they did in that moment.

“It was difficult for a long time,” Mary Margaret confessed softly, “harder than I ever thought it would be, but ultimately it’s not fair to push people into reciprocating things they themselves are struggling with. It’s selfish. Just because I was ready to embrace Emma as my daughter didn’t mean she was ready to let me be her mother, and that was hard for me to accept.”

Winnie leaned down to pick up her cup of coffee and swirled it thoughtfully. “Yeah, you are kinda pushy, but at least you got to know her as a friend first.” The redhead shrugged and took a gulp of the cooled beverage only to grimace at the taste. “Why don’t we skip to the chapters that are less depressing? Like Chapter 8, on Self-Love. Do you think the author meant to use so many innuendoes? I mean the whole book is so masturbatory, but chapter 8? Those lines about loving yourself definitely resonated for me. I’ve had to ‘love myself’ in more than one relationship, and teach so many girlfriends what to do in bed--”

“My interpretation of that chapter was much different,” Laurel sniffed, as if deeply bothered by Winnie’s understanding of the author’s messages.

“Really? I thought you’d be totally on board with the whole self-love thing, what with you being a nymph and all.” Winnie raised her eyebrows suggestively, a slight smirk curling her lips.

“Not that kind of nymph,” Laurel fired back quickly, then sighed as she caught sight of the faeries giggling behind their hands.

Fawn caught her eye and shrugged, “Well, you do like hard wood.”

“And you like wands, but that doesn’t mean you stick them places,” Laurel muttered back, albeit through a flustered smile.

“Well now the conversation is getting good,” Winnie grinned, clearly pleased with herself.

“I used to be confused by the definition of ‘good’ too, but I assure you this isn’t it,” Regina rumbled. “This has been fun, but I really should call Emma to pick me up.” She would ordinarily poof herself home, but the confirmation of her pregnancy made her reluctant to use magic when it wasn’t strictly necessary. 

“Speaking of picking you up, how did our sheriff manage to do that?” Winnie asked, leaning back in her chair as if Regina hadn’t just excused herself. 

Mary Margaret wore a pinched frown, as if she didn’t want to know the answer to that question. 

Just before anyone could get another word out, Regina’s phone blared to life, and a sudden rush of relief shot through her at the reprieve. With all eyes on her, Regina smiled in what she hoped passed for an apology, and at last excused herself.

“Mom!” Henry all but shouted the second the call went through. “Uh, there’s something… You gotta see…” His voice lowered to a hush, and a facetime request popped up on Regina’s screen, which she promptly accepted. 

Henry appeared to be sneaking through the house, and the closer he got to the kitchen, the slower he moved. Faint noises of metal clanging and things being whisked began to sound clearer as he inched towards the open door. Then, as if her were sticking his hand out with the phone so as not to be seen, a crooked view of the kitchen came into focus.

The chaos that had surrounded Emma earlier was nowhere to be seen, the kitchen was pristine – and every available surface was filled with cupcakes. Hundreds of beautifully decorated cupcakes. Ones with swirls, and others with drizzles, stacked all together in neat rows. Emma stood with a piping bag, her hair no longer wild but tied back, her clothes clean and not a trace of flour on her. Methodically she topped the newest cooled batch.

Henry scurried back out to the porch and shut the door, his dark eyes wide with surprise as he looked back at Regina. “That’s weird right? Like, Stepford Wife weird. I mean I know mom can cook but that’s like intense level chef…”

Against her better judgment, Regina lifted her arm in a waft of purple smoke and appeared behind Emma in the kitchen. “May I?” she asked, and reached for a cupcake with rich buttercream frosting. The dessert sat perfectly in the palm of her hand; she didn’t sense the taint of magic around it. 

The sight of Regina startled Emma, but she never stopped her task of whisking. “You can’t eat them yet,” she muttered distractedly. 

Regina returned the cupcake to its tray, and then gave Emma a closer inspection. “Did you use magic on yourself?” she snapped impatiently. “Out of all the times you could have used magic for your own benefit, this is how you choose to use your gifts?” 

Henry came running into the kitchen out of breath. Emma’s spine went rigid as she put two and two together. “You called her,” She accused her son, in a tone that suggest he wouldn’t be sampling any of the goods she’d made.

Henry was saved by the fact that Regina was suddenly right there in front of her, “Seriously, you’re accusing me of using magic on myself?” Emma’s lips twisted into a cringe and she stepped back to set the mixing bowl down. “Of course you’d think that, I mean fine, yes.” Emma frowned down at her hands then turned to look at Regina, a stubborn look etched across her face. “I did use magic but why is it everyone else can use magic to do whatever the hell they want, but deciding to give myself talent in the kitchen is the one that’s an issue? I’m not hurting anyone. I’m mastering fondant!”

It shouldn’t have upset her as much as it did, but Regina wanted a special moment with Emma—a quiet evening to share the news without any complications. “Why are you still trying to prove to everyone that you’re good enough?” she spat, and then carried right on with her tirade, even though her stomach lurched in objection. “Ever since I’ve known you, that’s all you’ve done. You’ve tried to prove to this town that you’re good enough to be the savior, and good enough to be Snow White’s daughter. You fixate on the smallest things, Emma – like this idiotic bake sale. Don’t you realize that you don’t have to do anything to make these people love you? They already love you, Emma, because you’re you – you’re… this perfect beacon of goodness.” 

Emma snatched up a wet sponge and scoffed incredulously, “I’m not a perfect beacon of anything, let alone goodness.” With a sharp movements, she wiped down the counter then spun to look at Regina, “And for how long? How long are people gonna feel that way? That’s a question I’ve asked myself everyday as far back as I can remember. Yeah, some people care, some people love, but it was never unconditional when I was growing up. As long as I had a use, as long as I was needed, people wanted to be around me… wanted me. Then I find my family, and suddenly I’m The Savior, and a whole town of people looking at me to fix things, and I’m seen in equal parts as a hero and idiot, because it doesn’t matter how many things I fix, there will always be more, but the second I can’t be the savior, I stop being needed.”

The sound of beeping cut into the sudden silence, and Emma used it as an excuse to shrug off the intensity that had bubbled up inside her. Snagging up a cloth, she opened the oven and slipped out the last tray in the oven and sat it down with a clang. “How long do you think a town that always has something going on would want me as a Sheriff if I can’t play the savior? How long until my parents get disappointed when I can’t live up to their expectations?” With a shake of her head, Emma leaned her hip against the counter and folded her arms as she gazed at Regina. “It might be idiotic, but it isn’t to me. Everyone in this town makes fun of my cooking. Even you.” Emma nodded towards the vast amounts of cupcakes and shrugged. “Nobody is going to be laughing at me tomorrow.”

Regina leaned her hip into the countertop and with a soft roll of her shoulders, took a deep breath. “Emma, please don’t spend all night in this kitchen. Trust me, everyone in this town cares about you because they got to know you. Not just because of your ability to protect them. And your parents? They love you. They’ll always fight to keep you safe, because that’s what being a parent is all about.” She held out her hand, but it began to shake and she curled her fingers weakly. Self hatred started to divert her from the point she was making, and she had to get back on track. “Baking a good batch of cupcakes isn’t going to help you deal with your fears of abandonment,” she continued. “I know I haven’t made that any easier for you, but I’m not going to ever let you down again. You’re important to me, and we….” She swallowed her words with air, glanced down at the floor between her feet and then stepped into Emma’s space. “We’re going to—” 

“Argue later?” Henry offered up from his place in the doorway. “When I’m out of earshot?” He swiped a cupcake from the counter and licked the frosting from it. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what mom did. I know that historically I’ve been against using magic, but this is pretty harmless. The only thing mom’s ruining with this cupcake is my teeth.” He peered over at Regina, as if daring her to deny it. “Plus, a few years ago when I was being bullied, you let me use magic to show my classmate that he was wrong. Isn’t this a similar situation? Everyone messes with Emma.” Henry puffed himself up to his full height, as if he was smug in contemplating the raise in allowance he’d be getting from Emma for defending her. “I think I want a glass of milk to go with my cupcake.” He strode over to the fridge and poured himself some milk. 

“It’s different, Henry,” Regina sighed, all while looking Emma in the eye. “Or maybe it’s not. Sometimes I tease Emma because she’s good at so many other things—” 

Henry snorted at his mom’s remark, but pulled a straight face when Emma glanced his way. 

“You are good, Emma,” Regina emphasized. “I know you’ve made mistakes in your past, but it’s because you were misguided, and not because you were spiteful or wanted to hurt anyone. You don’t need to bribe anyone for love—”

“Except me,” Henry challenged, and stuffed another whole cupcake into his mouth. “You can bribe me with cupcakes any day.”

Emma barely had time to register what Regina had said, because Henry interrupted it with a kind of ridiculous behavior that came from teenage boys. Her eyes narrowed, and she watched unimpressed as he sauntered around the kitchen to get to the fridge. “Feeling brave kid?”

Cupcake number two made it into his mouth and elicited a twitch in the corner of Emma’s eye. “He gets this attitude from you.” The sheriff hissed under her breath to Regina. Though when Henry spoke of bribes and the proceeded to chug a glass of milk, Emma couldn’t help but add wryly, “The cockiness is all from me, though.”

“All I’m saying is in the grand scheme of things, using magic to make you into a chef can only be good,” Henry argued. “It’ll make people happy.” He nodded to himself in a congratulatory way before throwing down a gauntlet at Regina. “Try one of them, any kind, and tell me the taste doesn’t make you want to smile.”

Slyly, Henry slid his hand out as if to pick up another.

“Hey kid, you had two. You want them? You can buy them tomorrow.” Emma smirked, deriving great joy from the crestfallen look on Henry’s face. “Why don’t you go pick us up dinner. There’s not really enough space to make it here—”

Seizing an opportunity and a further way to rile up his mother in the process, Henry shrugged with a simple, “Okay.” Then he held out his hand and cracked a smile, “I’ll take money and the car keys then.”

The corner of Emma’s eye twitched again, but she smirked all the same at her smartass of a son and wondered if his penchant for being a sneaky bastard came more from her or Regina. “Nice try, kid.” Emma drawled, her hand already opening her wallet to snag out a few notes.

Henry gave her a sigh, but grabbed the money the second it got passed his way. “I get to pick dinner.” He announced dramatically, pocketing the notes as he walked out of the kitchen.

Regina let the weight of her body fall back into the countertop and then snagged one of the chocolate cupcakes within arm’s reach. She took a large bite, and put up one hand to silence Emma’s forthcoming complaints. “I’ve hardly eaten today,” she explained, silencing Emma with by lifting one finger. “And you know chocolate is my favorite.” Resignedly, she swiped her tongue over the frosting and then licked her lip clean. “This is delicious, but next time you want to bake, we’ll do it together. I promise not to mock you when you’re doing your best.” 

The protest died on Emma’s lips, but she rolled her eyes anyway. Hell, she didn’t even expect to sell them all so Regina could eat what she wanted, but it killed two birds with one stone, didn’t it? Baking things so good people actually buy them, then rubbing the profits in Blue’s face – all the money she’d make for the convent roof. It would literally be the sweetest of all non- verbal fuck yous she’d ever given. “What do you think he’ll bring back?” Emma asked, completely overstepping what Regina had said because she didn’t want to discuss it any longer. “Something we hate?” Emma grabbed the last bowl of frosting to slather onto the remaining freshly cooled cupcakes while she speculated. “Or maybe he’ll just take forever and eat his there and leave us to wait.”

“He isn’t that vindictive. Besides, he knows how you whine when you’re hungry.” Regina wiped a flour smudge from Emma’s cheek with her thumb. 

“Come and sit with me for a moment.” Regina grabbed her wife’s arm, and gently led Emma into the living room. They both sat on the couch, and Regina removed her heels hastily, then tucked herself into her wife’s body. She breathed in the scent of leather, soap and sweetness that clung to Emma’s lanky frame. 

Could she break the news about the pregnancy, and would Emma be excited? What if Emma withdrew, and this ruined all of the progress they’d made in their relationship? “Can we go to dinner tomorrow night?” she softly asked. 

If all went according to plan, she’d reserve a table at their favorite restaurant in town. Afterward she’d invite Emma’s family over for the big announcement. She’d pick out a surprise gift– a baby blanket or a stuffed toy – and simply hand it to Emma. 

As she fantasized about the pleasant family evening to come, Regina slipped her arm over her stomach. “It’s been a while since we’ve gone to Raja’s—”

It was easy for Emma to sit still for a little while. Easy for them to come together as if the past year hadn’t happened. Easy to slip her arm around Regina as the woman leaned into her. The soft warmth was soothing -- the familiar scent of perfume comforting more than intoxicating, yet still made her pulse speed up just a little.

“Yeah, we uh-, we can do that,” Emma stuttered out in surprise, then cleared her throat as she quickly tried to work out why being asked to dinner caught her off guard. Probably because it was so far from her own mind; she was entirely too preoccupied with everything else. Did she fixate on things like Regina had mentioned? Had this always been a problem?

Guilt swept over Emma, and she swallowed thickly. It was hard to navigate through the rebuilding of their relationship, but she had to agree. “You’re right.” Emma cut Regina off, turning slightly to look at her face. “It’s been too long since we went there.” 

Emma’s expression held a hopefulness that she hadn’t quite given permission to show - but how could she help it, when she didn’t even know it was there?

Regina fought the urge to spill her secret at the wrong time. Revealing her pregnancy needed to be a special moment for the two of them, and the look of optimism on Emma’s face made her believe she was doing the right thing. Later, she’d come to regret this decision.

Regina’s lips formed the small smile she reserved for Emma, and she dragged a blanket over their laps. They held onto each other while waiting for Henry.


	19. Chapter 19

Sunlight danced across rows of tables, filtering through the trees, like golden glitter playing with the leaves and trickling onto the ground below. The air held a slight chill as it carried all the tempting scents from the different booths now being stocked. The rich aroma of coffee mingled with the savory scent of something fried. It wafted around Emma as she unboxed some of her cupcakes, and wrote prices on the remaining ones she stacked at the side of her table. Emma had chosen one near the middle, even though her instinct said she should have gone to the back. Too bad - she wanted to be sure people saw her – and catch the surprise on their faces.

It was that mindset that had her wave down to Ruby with a jovial, "Hey, how's it going?" for no real reason other than to watch the way the woman did a double take. "I'll trade you a cupcake for a cup of coffee," Emma offered slyly. Word of mouth counted for a hell of a lot in this town, and if anyone could spread word like wildfire it was Ruby. Who said Emma couldn't be strategic?

Ruby grinned widely and made the quick trade, swapping her own Styrofoam cup for the sweet treat. "This better taste as good as it looks," she teased. "Granny told me not to drink the profits, and I doubt she'll give me a second cup."

"Maybe if you roll over and beg," Regina quipped with a smirk, though her heart wasn't in it and she pulled a straight face as customers approached Emma's booth. Her fingers tensed subtly, giving away her unrest, but she rolled up her sleeves and kept her hands busy with the set up.

Unabashedly, Ruby peeled the wax paper away from her cupcake, and her eyes lit up as she took a big bite. The waitress' reaction inspired others to get in line, and soon people were squabbling over who was next.

"Oh, Emma – you really have improved! These look amazing," Mary Margaret gushed, as she took in the sight of the display. "Perhaps you have some of my culinary talent, after all."

"Thanks mom…" Emma's smile was frozen as she hoped to hell her cooking skills were nothing like her mother's. Mary Margaret's heart might be in the right place, but half of her animal friends weren't, and that's how you get feathers in coffee.

David patiently stood in the line so he could have the full experience. After Snow disappeared into the crowd, he bought one of everything. "Save a few of the vanilla for me," he mumbled, and put a twenty into Emma's cashbox. "But don't tell your mom."

David evoked a bright, warm smile from Emma. There were moments when she and her father exuded the same, almost childlike, enthusiasm, where everyone could clearly see they were indeed related.

"Hey I'm not saying anything, especially if you stop by later with another coffee, and a hot cider for Regina," Emma smirked.

David grinned as if they'd just concocted a fantastic plan, then nodded in agreement, "You got it. I better go find Snow. You know what she's like at these things."

Everything felt like it was going smoothly, which was why a small part of Emma began to feel dread. Things never went smoothly for long in Storybrooke, did they?

Regina tried her best to be useful, if only to relieve Emma of the pressure of dealing with so many hypocritical people.

The naysayers lined up and stuffed their faces enthusiastically, and Regina would have taken enjoyment from it all, but she felt ill. Perhaps it was the guilt getting to her, but either way it would be bad for sales if she vomited all over Emma's stand, so she wisely decided to step away when she started to turn a shade of green.

Regina spent some time lounging in a lawn chair and surreptitiously browsed through a maternity magazine she tucked behind another magazine – until a loud argument drew her attention away from her reading.

Not far away, the gingerbread man was waving his arms angrily at a gathering of disorderly dwarves.

"Eat me!" shouted the gingerbread man. It had become his favorite expression since their arrival in Storybrooke. He fixed his crooked his bowtie and ruffled hair, though his red locks easily became disheveled again as he blocked Grumpy from upending a plate of his cookies.

"Oh, I'll eat you!" Grumpy crowed, and dropped his axe in the dirt. "I'll eat you for lunch. Let's go."

Overhearing the dispute, Emma quickly ushered Ruby over to take care of her stall. "One day we'll get through one of these things without a brawl." She muttered in exasperation.

"Hey, break it up!" Emma's voice was sharp as she squeezed her way through the gathering of dwarfs and put space between them and the gingerbread man. Honestly, the first time Emma had seen him, she thought he was a lumberjack. "What the hell is going on? This is a fundraiser for the nuns' roof. Kids are here."

"He's a fraud!" Grumpy snarled, his hand outstretched to point accusingly.

Emma's eyebrows raised in bewilderment as she queried. "The Gingerbread Man?"

"I'm a baker and my name is Tim-!"

"Nobody cares, carrot top!" Grumpy's face twisted in anger, "Now take down the sign or I will."

"Whoa, whoa, enough! Have you forgotten I'm the Sheriff?" Emma's tone demanded respect but it was her stance that showcased that she was in charge. Shoulders squared and chin up, one hand went to her belt, and the other to her gun. "Now calm the hell down and tell me what's going on before I haul your ass back to the station."

"Look at his sign. 'Magic down to the last bite.' Well you know what? I've had a magical brownie before, and sister, this ain't one He doesn't use magic in any of his goods!"

Regina chose to intervene, rather than allow Emma to handle the fray alone. "That's because the kind of 'magic' you enjoy is still illegal in most states," she sniffed. "But if you're unhappy, you are welcome to go to another booth. Why don't we go and see what else is for sale?" Her patience for these antics never lasted long, but she summoned up the neutral airs of a diplomat and convinced most of the dwarves to leave Tim's stall.

To spite her efforts, Grumpy dug his heels in and knocked a plate of brownies onto the ground. "Hah!" he grunted. "Now I feel like I got my money's worth."

"Seriously?" Emma murmured in disbelief, and a frown marred her features as she looked at Grumpy.

"You vindictive midget!" Tim roared, the muscles of his shoulders strained as he held himself back from lashing out. "Those were five dollars each! Even if nobody bought them I was going to hand them out to kids for free!"

Without so much as flinching, Grumpy opened his mouth to yell back, but the sudden clink of metal around his wrist left him sputtering indignantly instead. "You can't cuff me over a plate of brownies!"

"I just did." Emma drawled, snagging his other hand to secure the cuff around his wrist. "I'm not wasting my day chasing after you to make sure you can behave at a bake sale. Next time you want to destroy someone else's things I hope you remember this. Unless you want to pay for the damage? It's your call."

Grumpy's eyes widened as he processed the information but all he croaked was, "You can't be serious"?

"You ruined nine brownies. That's forty-five dollars, so either pay the man or spend the rest of the evening in the back of the squad car because I'm not driving you all the way to the station when I have cupcakes to sell." Emma's voice was low but firm, and her gaze never wavered from the problematic dwarf.

Just when it looked like Grumpy was ready to throw a fit, he snarled an aggravated, "Alright fine, he can have his money, now get these damn things off of me."

Emma unlocked the cuffs easily and slipped them back onto her belt, but she didn't move an inch until Grumpy had handed over the cash he owed. "Now, don't come back to Tim's stall, and don't make me regret letting you go, got it?"

"Yeah I got it, sister." Grumpy muttered under his breath as he walked off, along with a few choice phrases that were too low to really catch.

Emma didn't care - the situation had been diffused and Tim looked happy to get compensation for his losses. "Thank you." He sighed through a slight smile. "Please take one. It's the least I can do."

"I was just doing my job but I'm not going to turn down the offer. Thanks." Emma grinned, pleased to get a treat of her own. As she walked back to the stall with Regina, she halved the brownie and offered a piece to her wife. "Your share for helping."

Regina nodded, and took the brownie because of what it represented – that they were finally getting along, and working together. She wasn't going to spoil another small victory.

Emma turned her back, returning to the full swing of her sales and her customers' resounding thanks. Her cupcakes were a big success, and no doubt Emma would be the center of attention after her recent heroic deeds.

Still, Emma sensed Regina hovering behind her - that tell tale tingle that caused the small hairs at the base of her neck to stand on end. Emma wet her lips nervously and decided that the noise of the crowd would drown out her hushed words as she turned to Regina and whispered surreptitiously, "By the way, I haven't had the chance to dig around in the library for any old texts on certain faeries. It's been on my mind the last few days, but I got a little distracted. I don't suppose you found anything?"

The words were barely out of Emma's mouth when she noticed the wood nymph leaning against the side of the stall. Her slender frame pressed gently into the wood until she almost faded into it. What was her name again? Emma remembered her face from Mary Margaret's book club. They'd never exactly talked and Emma had always been curious about the way the woman kind of... gravitated towards certain objects. Lara? No, that wasn't it. Laura? Wait, no, it was Laurel.

Convinced the nymph hadn't heard anything, Emma smiled politely then moved closer to Regina. Sure, nothing bad had happened, but a little voice in the back of Emma's mind kept hissing [i]yet[/i]. The gargoyles were absurdly difficult to deal with and it was nothing short of a miracle that she hadn't died that day. If Emma were honest with herself, she still struggled with sleeping. She crept around the house at night, peeking out from behind the curtains just in case danger lurked beyond the windows. Something had to change - she needed to find some information, a lead, a clue, anything to stop her from going crazy.

When her wife failed to respond, Emma looked over her shoulder with furrowed brows and caught sight of the woman's face. "Regina?" She prompted lightly, only to witness the way it startled the woman out of her thoughts.

"I need to get to my office," Regina muttered. "I'll let you know if I come across anything." She didn't linger for fear of falling apart in front of Emma. With her head down, she slipped through the crowd and moved towards town hall.

The faeries congregated around Emma's booth to praise her, and everyone who owned a shop on the main street came out to the bake sale.

From the mayor's office, Regina could peer through the window and watch, yet she spent most of the morning in the thralls of panic. She ransacked the place in search of her lesser-used spell books, and then brewed protection potions that she hoped would be effective against the Black Fairy.

Regina missed all of the excitement out on the street, and the stealthy way that the wood nymph Laurel later pulled Emma aside.

"I was hoping to speak with you in private," Laurel pleaded. She clutched a box of red velvet cupcakes, and when she slid her money across the counter, a small slip of paper was tucked into her five-dollar bill. "It's about you, and Regina, and the Fairy of Shadows – " Her explanation got cut short by August; he bumped into her and pushed through the line to buy a box of devil's food cupcakes.

"Uuh…" Emma eloquently said to the surprise of being dragged away. Between the noise of customers it was hard to hear everything that was said, and by the time Emma fully registered it, the woman was gone and she was left holding money. "What the hell was that?"

Shaking it off, Emma stuffed the money into her back pocket and scanned the crowd. There was no sight of the woman, and August was impatiently waving his hand in her face.

"Hey, I have the box I want. Just take my money so I can get out of here before I'm trampled into sticks." He smirked, pleased with his little joke.

"Urgh, that was bad. I thought you were a writer. Shouldn't you do better than that?" Emma sarcastically replied. She took his money and then made a show of shooing him aside before he had the chance to quip anything back. "Next!"

"It's about time!" A mischievous voice drawled.

Emma knew who it was even as she turned to serve her. "Winnie, what can I get you?"

"A box of whatever will lead to the best make-up sex." Winnie shrugged and dug around in her back pocket for a twenty. "I assume chocolate, but I'm open to suggestions… and a foursome, if you and Regina ever decide to experiment."

It's like she couldn't help being as overtly crude and offensive as possible.

"There are children around!" Iridessa hissed irritably, and swatted Winnie on the arm.

"Not within earshot. Besides, I was only joking," Winnie sniffed. "I'm going to eat this whole box of cupcakes by myself. Possibly with a pint of Ben and Jerry's, because I'm very single."

Emma rolled her eyes at Winnie's somewhat expected remarks, then had to wonder if doing that excessively would eventually cause one, or both of them, to just pop out of the sockets. The mental image disturbed her, but no more than the suggested foursome, which pulled her back to reality rather sharply.

"Any experimentation Regina and I engage in will never include other people." Emma shut Winnie down before she could so much as add another quip about it, though her tone hadn't been harsh, just straight to the point.

The sudden admittance of Winnie's single status softened Emma's expression. It wasn't any of her business to pry into the woman's relationship, and to be honest it sounded like her relationship was as rocky as Emma's on most days. "Here…" Emma slid an additional cupcake across the counter along with a box of the double chocolate ones. "That one's on the house, and if you don't want it, Ruby will definitely trade it in for a mug of cocoa or something. Or you know, you can give it to your ex, if you want - "

It wasn't pity. Out of everyone in town, and despite her rather blunt manner, Winnie was the closest person to knowing what it felt like to be in Emma's shoes, even if Winnie probably caused the chaos in her own relationship.

Winnie ran her finger through the rich frosting and sampled it while wearing a sober smirk. "Thanks," she hummed. "I think I'll keep it for myself. She's not the type to indulge, anyway—and I'm not the type to share gifts, especially those given to me by the savior herself. I'm going to go check out the other booths, and maybe get some coffee to go with my cake." She winked and strolled off in the direction of Granny's table.

The chaos continued throughout the morning as more and more residents came to the bake sale.

When they weren't confined to their homes by threats of peril, the citizens of Storybrooke liked to have a good time.

Unbeknownst to them, Regina was preparing for the biggest danger the town might ever face. She crushed herbs and dumped them into her brewing potion, and occasionally stopped to gaze out the window at Emma.

No matter how she tried, Regina couldn't shake the dire feeling that she had been wrong to ever believe she could evade her comeuppance with fate.

The phone rang, and she flinched as she reached out to grasp the receiver. "Hello?" Regina rasped.

"Hey, I was thinking we should have lunch at Granny's." Emma said easily into her phone. "You wanna join me in say, twenty minutes? If you're not busy." It was a tag-along line so Regina didn't feel pressured into leaving the office. Ever since her wife had left the fundraiser, Emma couldn't help the feeling that something was off. It had been a nice reprieve when they'd stood together when dealing with Leroy, instead of dealing with their own problems. Emma had almost forgot how great it had felt to work in tandem as opposed to against one another. "Or I could drop something off, if you wanted?"

Emma wordlessly waved her free hand at Ruby until she caught the girl's attention, then pointed to her booth, then over her shoulder to signal she wanted her friend to look after her table for a while. Ruby held her hand up in turn and yelled, "Gimmie five minutes!"

Emma gave her a thumb's up and turned her attention back to her call. "Regina?"

Regina's eyes hardly strayed from the vial in her hand, which she swirled counterclockwise until the liquid turned a dark emerald hue. "Yes, I'll have lunch with you," she muttered distractedly. Her stomach rumbled as if to answer on her behalf, and to warn her that she'd best agree if she wanted to avoid another spell of nausea. "I'll meet you in twenty minutes. Order me whatever you're having."

The potion began to bubble and waft smoke across the room, and Regina waved her hand to disperse the fumes before the fire alarm went off. "See you soon," she concluded, and hung up the phone.

"Sure." Emma said, bemused. "See you then."

Tucking her phone into her pocket, Emma served customers until Ruby finally made it over. She assured the younger woman that she'd be back within an hour, tops, then jogged off towards the diner with a surprising spring in her step. Maybe it was the joy on everyone's faces, the chilly fresh air, the brightness of the sun, or maybe it was a reawakening of love taking root within her - whatever it was, Emma couldn't deny the thrill that warmed her insides when she crossed the street and pushed into Granny's.

The place wasn't that busy, but that was expected. Emma avoided the glare Leroy shot her as she slid onto a stool several away from him. He huffed into his beer but didn't say anything, much to Emma's relief.

"You look cheerful." Granny murmured suspiciously, her eyes crinkling with mirth as she eyed Emma over her glasses. "What can I get you?"

Emma shrugged lightly, a lopsided smile being offered in return. "I'm just here to have lunch with Regina." Funny how that only caused her to smile a little brighter, even if she didn't notice it herself. "Two orders of, uh…" Should she pick something else, or what she really craved right then? Well, if Regina wanted what she wanted, then she clearly wasn't after something healthy. "Grilled cheese with bacon, and two sides of onion rings."

Granny cocked her head to the side, hand on her hip as she queried, "You sure about that?"

After a pause, Emma nodded confidently, "Yeah. Oh, and a strawberry milkshake."

"Alright, coming up," Granny mumbled, as if wondering just what kind of reaction Regina would have when she sat down to have lunch.

Granny watched Emma over the rims of her glasses while she poured the strawberry milkshake. "So, how are things with you and the missus?" she inquired. "Ruby told me you patched things up. I was mighty glad to hear it." Her bushy eyebrows rose and fell as she slapped cheese onto white bread with fried bacon. "Of course I never believed you were going to split up, not for good anyway –"

Emma cocked her head and blinked a few times rapidly. "We-we're uh-" Emma's voice came out a little higher than usual, but she cleared her throat and grinned slightly while Granny's words finally sank in. It felt oddly comforting to have someone rooting for their relationship. "We're doing better." Emma admitted, "It's not always easy but you know what? It's worth it just to be able to come here and have lunch together. Sometimes it's the small things that make you grateful, you know?"

Emma pulled out her wallet to slide more than enough money across the counter and waved off the change. Then she caught sight of the slip of paper with Laurel's number on it, which she had slipped into her pocket earlier.

What the hell had the nymph said? Something about a Fairy of Shadows? With a shake of her head, Emma slid her phone out and typed in the number.

It didn't ring long before Emma heard a breathy, "Hello?"

"Hey uh, this is Sheriff Swan. You wanted me to call you." Emma distractedly picked up an onion ring and dropped it again when it burned her fingers. "You said it was important."

"Yes!" Laurel stressed, "I… I sometimes take books that call to me, it's-it's a Wood nymph thing. I'm not stealing them, most are from the library and hardly anyone goes there, so if I tell you this, you won't arrest me, right? I just want to help."

Living in Storybrooke, Emma had heard just about everything, and as ridiculous as Laurel sounded, she also sounded scared. "Okay…" Emma managed after a few seconds, "What is it you want to tell me?"

Laurel sighed, then urgently whispered, "I found a book. It called to me. It was different. Darker. It's about the Fairy of Shadows. There are pages that involve…" Laurel paused long enough to take a breath, "I think - I think it's Regina, and you. Please, meet me near the forest by the old toll bridge. I'm already here. You can take the book. You need to take it."

The line went dead and Emma sprang from her stool. "Hey Granny. Tell Regina I've gotta go do Sheriff stuff. I should be back before she finishes lunch." She barely turned to see where she was going, and collided into Winnie. "Sh-sorry." Emma huffed.

Winnie grasped Emma's arm and gave the well-defined muscle a reassuring squeeze. "No harm done," she purred. "You know you can do no wrong in my eyes. Especially when you just bought me lunch."

"Winnie-" Emma said dryly. With a shift of her shoulder, she took her arm back and rolled her eyes at the red head.

"That's my name." With a wink, Winnie strolled around Emma and into the seat that Emma had just vacated. "So, what am I having?" She carefully pulled back the top piece of bread and peeked at the cheddar cheese and bacon on the sandwich. "Definitely not this. Granny, I'll do the mixed green salad with chicken." As she placed her order, she picked up one of Emma's onion rings and popped it into her mouth. "Thanks, Emma! I'll keep Regina company. We'll see you when you get back from your errand."

"I'm sure she'll hate that," Emma huffed. "Which is probably why you'll do it." Golden hair swung gently as Emma shook her head. There was no point trying to talk Winnie out of it when she knew damn well the woman wouldn't budge. "You owe me a side of onion rings when I get back."

Emma didn't linger any longer, and she'd barely pushed outside the diner when she walked into Henry; she grinned slightly at his disheveled hair. "Hey kid, what's the rush?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Henry smirked back. "I was kinda hoping to grab lunch. Ruby said you came here." He shrugged as if it was obvious, then brightened as he spied the car keys in Emma's hand. "Hey, if you're going somewhere, I could drive you."

"Nice try, kid, but I don't have time to give you a driving lesson." Emma grimaced in apology, and started to head for her cruiser.

Henry didn't miss a beat and followed at her side enthusiastically. "Come on mom, would you rather I go grab grandpa and knock over a couple more mailboxes? Plus, you know my mom would hate that…"

"Oh that's low and you know it." Emma grunted moodily. He just had to pick the one day she and Regina were getting along.

Emma reluctantly tossed him the keys and sighed heavily. "Get in, before I change my mind."

"Awesome!" Henry exclaimed, practically buzzing with excitement as he buckled up in the car. It wasn't like he was bad at driving-well, anymore.

Sometimes Emma took him out early in the morning when nobody else was on the road. "So, uh, where are we going?"

"The road near the old toll bridge." Emma waited a beat then added, "I got a call from someone and I need to go check it out. So when we get there, you stay in the car. I mean it Henry, no sneaking off after me."

Henry laughed, "Hey, you're letting me drive your car. You think I'm getting out, so you can take the keys back?" He scoffed and gave her a look that was pure Regina. "No way I'm going anywhere."

Emma relaxed slightly, and kept her eyes on the road.

The street that stretched ahead was empty and serene until a sudden loud crack snapped Emma to attention. Crows plunged through air, dove for the car, and hit the windshield, molting feathers and screeching.

"Henry, look out!" Emma shouted, She jerked into the dashboard as Henry began to weave across the road erratically, trying to avoid the flock of crows that swarmed them.

"Mom!" Henry cried, simultaneously hitting the breaks as he tugged on the steering wheel. It was a rookie mistake, and the car lurched sideways in a tilt.

Instinct took over Emma, and she threw her hand out to envelop Henry in a puff of smoke. In the blink of an eye he reappeared by the side of the road and out of danger.

Just in time to watch the cruiser flip over. The sound of metal screaming and glass shattering echoed and bounced off the trees, and the crows flew from the branches.

Henry could hear his pulse in his ears. His lungs burned from the barely there breaths he was taking. "Mom?" He yelled, hoping to hear something back. "Mom?" With shaking hands, Henry grabbed his phone from his pocket and hit dial on a number he'd been calling all his life. Then he rushed towards the car.

"Mom!" Henry frantically yelped out, this time into the phone. "Please, come quickly! Emma—it's Emma—please!" Crouching on his knees, he tried to wrench back the car door while smoke billowed into his face.

In a spiral of purple fog, Regina arrived and took in the sight of the devastating accident. 

"No!" Regina shrieked, her throat constricting with the force and conviction of the word. "No!" Paralysis and fear kept her from acting, even as Henry dragged Emma away from the smoldering wreck. Her magic drained from her fingers tips, funneling from her by its own volition and into Emma's crumpled form. She kneeled beside the body and tears streamed down her cheeks. "Open your eyes. Look at me, Emma Swan! We are having a child. I'm pregnant." Her tears dripped onto Emma's vacant face as she whimpered softly. "Don't let go. Don't let us go."

Emma was barely aware of Regina's presence. Light sparked through the darkness, blurred and bright. Then her eyelids fluttered open as she groaned out. "We're pregnant?" A flicker of a smile tugged at the corners of Emma's lips, but faded as she tried to sit up. Pain burned through her head, searing her nerves and making her want to vomit. She swayed slightly but reached out to grab onto Regina's arm. She consciously tried to look into her wife's eyes, and fought the dizziness and confusion to affirm, "I'm not going anywhere."

Regina cradled Emma in her arms and suppressed the tremble in her voice. "Lie back."

Stroking the hair away from her wife's forehead, Regina searched for injuries and retreated behind a mask of self-control. She checked Emma over and then turned to their son, who stood apart from them.

Groggily Emma turned to Henry, who was wiping his face, a mixture of happiness and fear etched across it. "Henry, are you okay?"

"I nearly killed you!" Henry blustered, scrunching up his eyes to seem indignant rather than appearing shaken. He sat beside them and reached out to take Emma's hand, giving it a firm squeeze.

"No you didn't," Emma growled through her teeth. She felt like she was spinning, akin to that sickening way when she'd drank way too much before either passing out or throwing up. She squinted to try and focus on Henry, and ignored the way the trees behind him flickered. "Kid, the first night in town I crashed because of a wolf. There was a flock of crows. That wasn't your fault."

"Everything will be alright," Regina husked in the hope of reassuring them all. Henry and Emma were both usually resilient at the worst of times, but this felt different. This felt like a warning of more disasters to come, and Regina was paranoid enough to glance at the forest around them to ensure no one was watching. "What were you doing on this highway? I thought we were meeting for lunch." As much as she desired immediate answers, Regina doubted her wife was lucid enough to respond.

Regina's worried tone combined with her son's shock made Emma straighten up as best she could. "Guys, I'm fine." She drawled, in a kind of lazy, matter of fact tone she liked. Though, the thought of explaining to Regina why they'd been out there, when she'd kind of fibbed a bit to Henry and let him come along, coupled with the accident they'd just had? Yeah, that felt more daunting than getting taken to the hospital to be poked and prodded by Whale.

Emma swallowed thickly and turned towards Regina with a bit of a grimace, "Uh, got a call, sounded sort of - important – about the case, we'd- " She caught sight of Henry and cleared her throat, " You'd been helping me with. I'll tell you all about it later."

Fire trucks converged on them, and soon after the town's rescue squad packed Emma into an ambulance. Regina sat on the bumper seat and clutched Emma's hand on the short drive to the hospital.

The first responders hooked up an oxygen mask over Emma's face, which kept her from speaking, so Regina merely looked on in distress. Henry sat squeezed in the corner of the ambulance, with his shoulders hunched forward. He appeared to be taking the crash personally, and Regina wondered how long it would be before he'd feel comfortable getting behind the wheel again.

At the hospital, the EMTs ushered Emma's stretcher into the emergency room. Whale and a pack of his trainees waited at the ready to examine Emma's head injury. He flashed a penlight into Emma's pupils and announced, "it's a concussion," just as Regina crossed the threshold into the walled off partition where far too many were congregating.

"We'll do a quick CT scan just to be on the safe side," Whale concluded, and passed off Emma off to a nurse, who shifted the brake on the hospital bed and instantly took Emma away.

Regina stood amidst the hospital staff, and a sudden swarm of people—Mary Margaret, David, and Ruby came in first, followed by others who must have come from the bake sale.

She was stuck answering all of their questions about what happened while Henry skulked in a corner. "It was my fault," he eventually shouted, to stop their bombardment of queries. "I flipped the car over. I don't know what happened." He moodily glanced up at Mary Margaret. "A flock of your feathered friends went crazy and dive-bombed the car. Did you forget to give them enough bird seed today?"

Regina straightened up and sucked in a sharp breath. She'd taught her son much during his sixteen years of life, but sometimes she wished that he'd use his verbal gifts more sparingly. "Henry's very upset," she interjected, and put her hand on Mary Margaret's shoulder, because the woman's mouth was still agape.

"He has every right to be," David insisted, not bothered by his grandson's outburst. "Let's all just calm down and wait for Emma to get back. Whale doesn't seem to think her injuries are that serious."

Ruby decided to avoid the family drama and assemble enough chairs for them all to sit comfortably in the space around Emma's bed. Everyone else cleared out and went to find a spot in the waiting room. Friends from Mary Margaret's book club, dwarves, and fairies camped out in case they were needed.

The CT scan lasted long enough that Regina perched on the edge of a chair, but she shot up when the nurses returned and pushed Emma's bed back into place.

Finding out Regina was pregnant had kept Emma's groggy-mind occupied, and made her grateful that her injuries were all minor. It wasn't like she was in shock, or completely out of it.

Once you've been thrown through your first portal and had someone's hand in your chest with their fingers wrapped around your heart, your body kind of adjusted to that kind of life or death panic as almost normal. Though, as she squinted past Regina to the worried faces of her friends, Emma couldn't help but blink rapidly. There had been a flicker of something standing amongst them. What, she wasn't sure, but it wasn't there now and probably hadn't been there at all.

Maybe she should be worried about the concussion.

"Nothing of concern on the CT scan," the nurse happily reported, though Emma still seemed to be behaving oddly. She had a dazed, strange look on her face.

Regina slid onto the edge of Emma's bed and took Emma's hand.

"She'll be fine," Whale declared from the doorway. "I expect she'll be ready to go home in a few hours, but it's customary to keep a head trauma patient over night for observation. If she improves in a few hours, however, I'll consider releasing her. Then hopefully I won't see either of you back here until you're further into your first trimester."

Regina bristled at Whale's remarks, and braced herself before gazing down at Emma. "I just—wanted to get official confirmation before telling you." She ignored Ruby's wide-eyed look, and the reactions of Emma's parents.

Whale's words made it through Emma's pounding headache slowly, but she couldn't help but draw the man the dirtiest look she could before looking up to Regina--to the worry that covered Regina's whole face, and the way Regina grasped her hand and didn't look at anyone else in that moment. There was a bubble of red-hot anger that burst inside Emma but it wasn't because of Regina. She held her wife's gaze and leaned forward slightly to husk, "Hey, at least you told me before any of them."

"Speaking of which," Emma announced loudly, turning her head to face Whale. "I don't really care that you got your medical license from a curse, but here we have a thing called doctor- patient confidentiality." Emma's voice had lowered menacingly, her eyes were fierce and wild looking due to her wide pupils, which were caused by the head injury. "Which means you don't get the right to announce to everyone that we're having a kid before we have the chance to do it ourselves. In fact, you ruined that moment." Emma leaned closer to Whale to growl, "Apologize to my wife for snatching that away from her before I snatch something away from you."

Whale stood squarely with an unrepentant sneer on his face and returned Emma's chart to its holder on the door. "I figured Regina had already shared the happy news," he asserted, in lieu of an apology. "It is happy, isn't it? Why keep it a secret from anyone? Is it because of the unusual way in which you conceived? I can confirm that it was, indeed, a magical conception, lest anyone in this small town think of it as the result of an act of infidelity." His gaze roamed in Mary Margaret and David's direction, and then back towards the hallway—as if to make it perfectly clear that if no one in this room started that rumor, someone in Storybrooke certainly would. "But, I suppose I digress. You seem to be revitalized, Sheriff. My services are no longer required here. Feel better, and congratulations on your second child."

Regina readied her hand to make good on Emma's threat. Her fingers curled around a steadily growing fireball, but Whale left before she could unleash it. She turned back to Emma, and then peered fearfully over at Mary Margaret and David.

Emma released a frustrated sigh and shook her head as Whale walked off. She turned to announce dryly, "The asshole has a point, as much as I hate to admit it." She caught Regina's eye and then looked over the stunned faces of her family and friends. "I don't want any gossip. The kid is mine. We did use magic. We wanted this."

"I sort of guessed Regina was pregnant a few days ago," Mary Margaret confessed, with a faint blush across her cheeks. "That was before I knew she wiped your memories, Emma. It really seems like the two of you have been keeping a lot from us. I'm not saying you have to confide everything in your family, but I hope you know we're always looking out for you-"

"Mom!" Emma sputtered indignantly, and shot a glance to Henry who looked confused and on the verge of anger.

"Wait," Henry muttered, eyebrows drawn together to form a dark line.

"Hold on, David chimed in, stepping closer as if he too had just understood what had been said. "You wiped-"

"Stop it," Emma hissed, cutting them both off before anyone else could hear what they were talking about. Ruby already looked like she was casually eavesdropping. "Things happened in the past. Regina and I dealt with it and now we're moving on. Our life is not an open topic of discussion. It's private."

Regina stood in front of the wide window that overlooked the forest, where months before she fled to hastily put an end to her previous pregnancy.

It weighed on her that she almost lost Emma, and that her wife might only be keeping these heavy secrets to protect her.

"No," Regina firmly declared. "I want them to know why I acted so maliciously toward you—towards all of you. It's a burden to us both. I can't bear this any longer, and if everyone scorns me for what I've done, so be it. I would rather withstand their judgment than to feel that I'm lying to everyone, every second of every day." Her eyes were black and entrancing—and somehow like the dark hour of the night when animals prowl.

"All those months ago, I discovered I was expecting a child," Regina explained. "It brought back memories of a time when, as part of the dark curse, I committed the life of my first born child to the Black Fairy. I thought it was quite impossible for me to conceive, but I sensed it within myself. I had nightmares about the child. I knew that the impossible had happened. What I saw in my dreams was a monstrosity--intent upon destroying everything I loved." Her jaw twitched, straining because of the horrible words she forced herself to say aloud. "I acted irrationally and impulsively. I brought a swift and messy end to the life in me. Emma arrived in time to watch it happen. Then I took her memories in the hope of preserving our relationship, but what I didn't realize was that I wouldn't be able to live under those conditions, knowing that I kept Emma with me under false pretenses. So I tried to ruin our marriage, until Emma thwarted my plan. And now here we stand."

Henry shook his head in resistance to all she was saying, and went to sit beside Emma as if to show where his loyalties would now lie.

David leaned forward in his chair, as if the information was more than he could handle and physically weakened him.

Ruby put her hand on Mary Margaret's back, too stunned to do more than gape.

Emma's already aching muscles tensed while Regina spoke, her eyes finding the floor as if hoping it would open up and swallow them both. This wasn't the time to tell all their terrible secrets, and this one in particular was something she never wanted Henry to know. The pounding in her head forced her to scrunch up her face, but she fought to control it as she squinted at everyone around her.

Regina inhaled, and blinked back fresh tears as she addressed Emma. "If you'd like me to go, and give you some time with your family, I'll go."

In truth, Emma's first instinct was to get angry at having their private life thrust into the open like that—but when Regina turned to her, eyes watery, asking if she wanted her to go, Emma found a lump in her throat.

This might not be the right time for Emma, but it was the right time for Regina. The car crash had shaken her wife, enough that she couldn't stand a single second more of keeping it all in.

Emma reached a hand out to steady herself, because even in the chaos of the hospital, Regina stood in front of everyone that mattered to her the most, and set the record straight once and for all. Although her wife was visibly vulnerable, Emma would have sworn she had never seen her be so brave.

Swallowing thickly, Emma shook her head and squeezed Regina's hand tighter. "Stay." Emma finally managed to articulate.

Regina showed visible relief—that is, until Mary Margaret stepped forward and ended the silence.

"I have something to say," Mary Margaret softly interrupted. "Regina-in spite of every heinous and destructive act, I always tried to see the good in you—or at least believe in the possibility that the goodness would re-surface from wherever you buried it in your heart. I always found reasons to make sense of your actions—because you've been hurt and afraid in the past, and I know that those experiences have made a deep impression—that they cause you to behave in unpredictable and desperate ways." She pressed her heel into the ground forcefully and stood taller. "I never stopped loving you or supporting you—no matter what you did. But I don't like you very much right now. I hate what you did to Emma, to Henry, to your child, to us – and to yourself. I'm capable of understanding why, and one day I'll even be capable of forgiving you for it. But today isn't that day."

Deciding she needed fresh air, Emma shifted towards the window Regina had been peering out and slid it up an inch or two. Outside, the trees swayed with the breeze, and her eyes lingered on a particularly dark patch that…

Narrowing her eyes, Emma stared hard at the forest, and jolted slightly when she thought she saw a Gargoyle.

"Let's not talk about this," David reasoned, observing the afflicted look on his daughter's face. "Let's just sit in this room quietly, until we're sure Emma's well enough to go home this afternoon-"

" No. " Emma stated under her breath, but when she blinked the gargoyle was gone. Was it common for concussions to make you see things?

Regina turned her attention completely to Emma—who appeared distracted, and flinched in response to something that wasn't there. "Emma? What's going on?"

Turning back to everyone, Emma read the concern on their faces and met Regina's eyes with a sputtered, "I mean I don't want to stay here. I want to go home now."

Regina drew her gaze away from Emma to peer out the window at the vast and unchanging forest. She then bent down to Emma's level to observe her wife more closely. "Okay," she hesitantly agreed. Emma would be more at ease convalescing at home, and her situation was unlikely to worsen.

"I don't think you should leave until Dr. Whale officially releases you," Mary Margaret piped in, and crossed her arms for added effect. She stepped nearer to Emma's bedside, and cupped Emma's cheek gently. "Why don't you stay with us for just a few days? I'll make you all of your favorite foods, and you and David can spend the afternoon playing video games."

Regina listened impassively to Mary Margaret's attempts to bribe and entice Emma.

"No," David sternly stated. For a change, he had a different opinion of the circumstances, and he boldly made his opinions known. "Like it or not, we can't just take Emma home with us, coddle her for a few days, and hope that we can undo the trauma of the past. And we can't just excommunicate Regina again because of the harm she's done to Emma. We did this. Everyone in this family keeps secrets, and we're apart of the problem. When you say you're going to forgive someone for what she's done, you have to just forgive. You can't say it, and then completely cut that person off or cast her aside, as if she doesn't matter. And when our daughter is hurt, all we can do is what's best for her. Not for us. She just said very clearly she that she wants to go home – meaning her home. Stop trying to impose what you want onto Emma, because if there's anything I've learned about her these past few years, it's that she'll do anything to please us. Even lie, or change what she wants just to make us happy." He stood up, located a wheelchair in the corner of the room and helped his daughter out of bed. "I'll take you home," he muttered to Emma.

Mary Margaret shrank away from everyone, and pressed her fingers to her temples.

Regina stared silently at David and wrapped her arms in front of her body. She belatedly realized that Emma needed her clothes, and rather than pester the nurses to find Emma's belongings, she settled for a magic solution: in an expedient wave of her fingers, Emma sat fully dressed in the wheelchair.

"Mom, are you sure?" Henry asked tentatively, his hand already out to clasp Emma's shoulder in reassurance.

"Yeah, kid." Emma murmured, unwilling to get into any of the drama between her parents. She didn't have the patience, and her headache was too distracting to think much of anything. She turned to nod at Regina. "Let's go home."

The car ride was mostly silent. David had the radio on, and Henry sat in front with him so that Regina could sit in the back to nervously watch her wife. Emma could feel the woman's gaze on her but kept her face towards the window. It was easier than seeing the concern on Regina's face. The stress couldn't be good for the kid. The thought struck Emma like a slap and she cleared her throat. Fuck, the last thing Regina needed was to worry about her. Straightening up, Emma turned to her wife to admit, "You know, all I want to do is nap, and I know that's the last thing I should do."

When they finally got home, Emma didn't stop to kick off her boots or take off her jacket. She just walked straight upstairs and into the master bedroom as if they hadn't just come from the hospital. Alright, so she still felt dazed, but a lot had just happened. They were really having a kid. Nervous excitement fizzed inside her, along with dread over the Black Fairy, but it wasn't until Regina walked in to find her that it all really hit Emma.

Wordlessly, she pulled Regina closer, then splayed her own hand over her wife's abdomen. "You're pregnant." Emma whispered softly. It wasn't a question-just a quiet, awed statement that caused her lips to tug into a smile.

Regina stayed incredibly still, as if suspended in time by Emma's gentle touch. Her head finally tilted, and she cast her eyes down at her stomach. "You're happy?" she whispered, somehow making it sound like a question, a statement and a sigh of contentment.

There was no hesitation as Emma warmly affirmed, " Yes. " Her free hand landed on Regina's hip to squeeze gently.

"I spent all of last night thinking of how I should break the news to you," Regina confessed. "I wanted it to be a celebration. I was even going to invite your family." She stepped towards the bed, rolled down the comforter for Emma, and waited for her wife to crawl into the spot she prepared. "Now David and Henry are talking downstairs, your mother has probably gone home, and you have a concussion. But I'm grateful."

The possible alternatives that came to mind were unspeakable. She pressed herself into Emma, and pulled her wife's hand back over her abdomen. "I'm grateful we're sharing this moment together at all."

"We'll celebrate, and they'll come around eventually," Emma declared softly. "But you know what the main thing is?" It felt almost absurd to think it yet alone say it, but after everything they'd gone through, it sure as hell felt important. "I believe you. I believe that you were planning to break the news to me, and that you wanted it to be special."

Twisted though it was, Emma had started to think the car crash was probably the best thing that could have happened for their relationship. There were no more secrets to keep.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Regina finally murmured. "That we'll hold her in our arms in only eight months?"

"You think we're having a girl?" Emma's lips caressed softly against Regina's neck as she spoke, but she wasn't satisfied in her position. Shifting, Emma encouraged her wife onto her back, and then did something that no doubt shocked Regina.

With trembling fingers, Emma found the hem of Regina's shirt and carefully folded it up to her navel, then slipped her thumbs into the waistband of her wife's pants and inched them down gently. Then, and only then, did she finally move down the bed on her knees, until her face hovered millimeters away from Regina's abdomen. She looked at the skin intently, and imagined the small, barely-there spark of life inside Regina. Emma lowered her head further to press a very tender kiss to the exposed skin where she imagined their child would be, with a shaky whisper of, "We love you, little jellybean."

Salty tears stung her eyes and dripped down her cheek to splash gently against Regina's stomach, but her tears were from happiness. Despite all the madness of the past few months, of all the hell of the past year-despite the looming dread of what they would have to face, Emma Swan had never felt so lucky in all her life. So she stayed right where she was, with her cheek pressed against Regina's warm skin, her arms loosely wrapped around her wife's torso.


End file.
